by M. K. Eidem
“Oh.” Abby’s gaze returned to the trunk and realized every piece it contained was trimmed in violet. Grim’s House color. “What color should it be?” She asked.
“The House color for Etruria has always been silver.” Ynyr’s frown deepening as he spoke.
“Does it have to stay that way?” Abby returned his frown. She didn’t want to wear anything that could be associated with Risa. Just as nothing in their new House should be either. There needed to be a clear distinction that House Rigel was not House Bertos.
Ynyr gave Abby a surprised look, suddenly realizing that the color did not have to stay the same. True, while he had been planning on changing the shade of silver he hadn’t considered changing the color completely. Now he was. It would make a statement, a strong one that his House would be nothing like Bertos.
“It does not,” he told her.
“Good.” Carefully Abby folded the covering and put it back in the trunk.
Ynyr watched as Abby returned the covering she obviously wanted to wear, back to the trunk. It had been an instinctive reaction on his part to protest her wearing it. He wanted everyone to know she was his and only his, yet he had no other covering for her to wear. These coverings had been specifically made for her, so they would not be overly long. She would not slip on it as she had done the day before and she needed something other than his shirt to wear.
She should be demanding he let her wear it. Instead, she was doing as he wished, all because of his pride.
“Wear it Abby,” he told her hoarsely, reaching around her to pull the covering back out of the trunk.
“But… it will reflect badly on you if I do.”
“No, it won’t,” he denied placing the covering in her arms. “Yes, it is not something normally done, but that does not matter. Once our House color is chosen I will make sure it is all you ever wear.”
“You are sure?” Abby asked uncertainly.
“Yes,” Ynyr reassured her and was rewarded with a brilliant smile. One he knew would fade with his next words. “I cannot take you with me to Etruria, Abby. It is too dangerous right now.”
Abby’s smile faded and everything within her stilled. She had momentarily forgotten that Ynyr did not want to take her with him. He wanted her to go Betelgeuse with his parents. Where he believed she would be safe until he secured his House.
His House.
Not theirs.
Never theirs, not if she let him send her away now.
She looked down at the covering she had unknowingly fisted in her hands, a covering in the wrong color and realized it seemed to symbolize her life of late. Every time she thought she was doing the right thing, something went wrong. It was the way her life had been since her family had died and she had been left alone. Right now her mind was telling her that the ‘right’ decision would be to go to Etruria.
Lifting her gaze, she found Ynyr watching her intently. She knew he wanted her out of harm’s way but in her heart she knew that was wrong. She needed to be with him, needed to show him that she would stand beside him, even during the hard times. She needed to show the males of Etruria that not all females were like Risa and she could not do that if she was on Betelgeuse.
“I am going with you,” she told him in a soft but firm voice.
“You are going to Betelgeuse.” Ynyr told her in a hard voice.
“No. I. Am. Not.” While Abby didn’t raise her voice it was just as hard as his.
“You do not understand, Abby…”
“I do. Kim told me how bad things are in Etruria right now.”
“Then you should understand why…”
“Whose House is this going to be Ynyr?” Abby questioned.
“What?” Her question confused him.
“Whose House are you going to Etruria to build? Yours? Or ours?”
“Ours!” He told her angrily. How could she doubt that?
“It can’t be ‘ours’ Ynyr, if I’m not a part of it.” She tossed the covering aside and put her hands on his chest. “We need to show our males that House Rigel of Etruria is going to be nothing like House Bertos was. Risa was a part of that. I need to be there to show them that their new Lady is nothing like her. I can’t be left behind again Ynyr. I barely survived it last time.”
And Ynyr knew she was talking about how her family had ‘left her behind’ when they had died and she had survived. She had told him how it had devastated her. “I need you protected Abby.” He told her through clenched teeth.
“I know,” she rubbed understanding hands over his tense chest. “But how are you going to do that when I’m on another planet?” She answered before he could. “You can’t Ynyr. What if Lisa had been somewhere ‘safe’, like Torino when Luuken had attacked her? How could Grim have saved her? What if Wray had thought Kim would be safer in House Bertos? You can’t know for sure that I will be safer on Betelgeuse than with you. You can only hope.” She let him see the truth in her eyes. “I will always put my faith in you Ynyr, before anyone else.”
“Abby…” Ynyr stared intently down at her, did she truly understand what her words meant to him, that she would believe that strongly in him… but what she was asking of him…
“Let me be a part of it Ynyr, please.” Abby pleaded, knowing he was struggling with his sense of duty, his need to keep her safe and his need to have her with him. “Let me be a part of building our House and not just some outsider looking in.”
“If you go you will do as I say,” he ordered, trying to sound firm.
“Of course, as long as it is not too extreme.”
“Abby…”
“You can’t expect me to be able to help if you restrict me to our wing.”
Ynyr’s mouth snapped shut as he realized she was right. He may not like it, but she was.
“Trust me Ynyr. Trust in me. I am not a strong or brave female, I will do nothing to endanger myself.”
Ynyr just shook his head at his Abby’s words. She did not see herself as she truly was. She had survived them stealing her from her world. Survived Risa terrorizing her. Survived the farce of a Joining Ceremony and still she had chosen him to be her male. A male, who, while a Lord, literally had nothing to offer her but problems. Then there was her defending the Empress and the Princess with a blade… a blade… where had she gotten that?
“Abby?”
“Yes?”
“Where did you get the blade?” He looked for it and found she had dropped it with her covering.
“What?”
“The blade you defended the Empress with.”
“Oh.” Turning around, she leaned down and picked it up. “Kim gave it to me. She said I would need it in Etruria, if only for my own piece of mind. She and Lisa both carry one.”
“They do?” Ynyr had not heard that.
“Yes. Kim said a General Rayner gave her hers and Lisa has what is called the Raptor’s Claw. It is what she used to defend Kim and Destiny with,” Abby’s voice turned into a whisper, “when she killed Risa.”
“She used the Claw?” Isis couldn’t believe it. How had this remained unknown? The Claw was as much of a legend as the Raptor’s Heart that Queen Lisa had worn around her neck during the Joining Ceremony was.
“Yes.” Abby told him, not realizing she had shocked him.
“It will make you feel safer?”
“I…” she looked at him uncertainly. “I guess it would, if I was more comfortable with how to use it.”
“You seemed comfortable when you stood defending the Empress.”
Abby waved a dismissing hand. “That wasn’t anything, I just acted on instinct. I couldn’t let anything happen to Kim and Destiny. It would have devastated Wray.”
“What about me?” Ynyr whispered in a voice so tortured that it had Abby’s breath catching.
“I…” Abby’s eyes searched his in confusion. She knew Ynyr cared for her, she was the first ‘real’ female he had ever been with and you never forget your ‘first’. But while she knew she loved Ynyr a
nd had told him so, he had never returned those words to her. She should be used to that…
“Do I not matter Abby? Are my feelings so unimportant?” He asked in a tortured voice.
“Of course they matter!” Abby immediately fired back. “Don’t act like I haven’t told you that!”
“Then how could you risk yourself that way!” A rage filled Ynyr that he hadn’t expected.
“How could you!” Abby demand back.
“What are you talking about?!!” Ynyr roared. “I was never at risk in that room!”
“What about in the Assembly!” Abby demanded. “When you put yourself in harm’s way defending the Emperor! Did you even think about me? What it would have done to me if you had died! I would never have even known who you were? I would have had to wonder for the rest of my life, why you never sought me out!”
“Abby…” Ynyr went to pull her into his arms, but she pulled away.
“Don’t! I understand what is happening here Ynyr. Understand and accept it, but if I am going to be a part of it, then I am going to be a part of it. The good and the bad. I am not hiding this time. I am never going to be locked away again!”
“What are you talking about?!!” Ynyr demanded, making sure to grip her arms this time.
Realizing she had revealed something of her past that she had meant to keep secret she tried to pull away.
“Stop!” Ynyr gave her a shake. “Tell me!”
“No! You have no right!”
“No right! You are my female!”
Abby heart clenched at his words. His ‘female’, not his Lady. She could hardly breathe for the hurt, to actually hear the words…
“Right,” she whispered brokenly, “your female. Let go of me Ynyr.” She pulled hard enough against his grip to know it would leave bruises before he released her.
“Abby…” Ynyr couldn’t understand the hurt he suddenly saw in her eyes and heard in her voice.
The ringing of his comm stopped the rest of his sentence.
“What!” He demanded impatient with the interruption.
“My Lord,” Korin’s voice came over the comm. “The ship will be ready to leave in one hour. When will you be arriving?”
“Soon!” Ynyr told him. Clicking off his comm he watched as Abby picked up the covering she had dropped.
“You need to go,” she told him in a voice totally devoid of its usual warmth.
“It will wait.”
“No, it won’t. It concerns your House.” Abby moved stiffly toward the cleansing room. “I need to cleanse.” Entering the room, she closed the door behind her.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Ynyr wanted to punch the wall as the door to the cleansing room closed. He had seen the hurt in his Abby’s eyes, but couldn’t understand what had caused it. Not giving himself time to think, he entered a code on the comm he still held and waited.
“What!” The disgruntled voice on the other end told Ynyr he had called at an inopportune time.
“I’m sorry to interrupt, King Grim.”
“Ynyr?”
“Yes.” Ynyr heard the shock in Grim’s voice.
“How have you upset her already?” Grim’s growl came over the come.
While Ynyr appreciated Grim understanding why he had called he didn’t appreciate his implication. Still he gave Grim his truth.
“If I knew would I be contacting you?!!”
“What was the last thing you said to her before she became upset?” Grim demanded.
It took Ynyr a moment to remember. “We were arguing about her going to Etruria with me, she said something I didn’t understand and I demanded she explain since she was my female.”
“That’s what you called her… your female?” Grim asked.
“Of course, for that is what she is.” Ynyr didn’t understand Grim’s question.
“Is that all she is to you?” Grim demanded.
“What do you mean?”
Grim could hear the confusion in Ynyr’s voice and grunted his displeasure. He was not a male that was good with words. He still struggled with some of the things he said to Lisa but in this, in this he knew he needed to make sure Ynyr understood. “There is a huge difference between Abby being your ‘female’ and her being your ‘Lady’, Ynyr. A ‘female’ is only there to give you offspring. Is that why you have Abby?”
“NO!” Ynyr instantly denied.
“Then you need to make sure she understands that.”
“How!” Ynyr demanded.
“By making sure she knows she is more than just a breeder to you. Earth females are used to dealing with things our females never have. Not even Lady Isis. My Lisa continued to love her Mark even when he became ill and couldn’t protect her. She protected him and their young. She ran their household when he could not. She demands to be allowed to do the same here. She is my Queen. She stands by my side, willingly accepting the risks and responsibilities that come with that position, as the Queens of old did. It sounds to me that your Abby wants to do the same.”
“But how do I… she could be harmed.”
“That is a real possibility. You must decide if the chance she might be harmed outweighs you harming her. For that is what you will do Ynyr and deeply, if you treat her as we have treated our females for all these years.”
“She believes I do not truly care for her because I called her my female?”
“I believe so, yes.”
“Queen Lisa felt this way too?”
“Yes. It is difficult Ynyr, truth. I am still struggling with allowing my Lisa to do all she feels she should be able to. Especially now that she is with offspring. But I now realize that my lack of faith in her, my not trusting her, would cause her more harm.”
Ynyr was silent for several moments thinking about all that Grim had said.
“And if it was you? Would you take your Lisa with you to Etruria?” Silence greeted Ynyr’s question for so long that he did not think Grim would answer.
“It goes against everything we have been taught,” Grim voice was rough and deep when finally spoke, telling Ynyr of his inner struggle, “to knowingly take a female someplace where they could be at risk. We prefer to hide them away, to shield them from any struggles. Yet Earth females do not shy away from problems. They face them head on. I know I am a better male… stronger with her at my side, so yes, I would take my Lisa with me but her protection would be my first priority.”
Chapter Nine
“You are sure this is what you want to do?” Oryon asked, his eyes traveling over Ynyr who had come to inform him that Abby would not be going to Betelgeuse with them.
“Yes. No.” Ynyr let his manno see his conflict, knowing he would not think less of Ynyr for it. “All I know for sure manno is that it is going to take a great deal of time to truly rebuild Etruria and erase all the harm Bertos has caused. Maybe more time than the Goddess has granted me, but with the time she has, I want my Abby at my side. Where I can protect her.”
“Even if it puts her at risk?” Oryon couldn’t stop himself from questioning.
“Can you guarantee me she won’t be on Betelgeuse?”
“You know the Goddess gives no guarantees.”
“I know, so I will pray to the Goddess that she will assist me in keeping the Lady she entrusted to me safe and happy.”
“Your mother is not going to be happy about this. She was looking forward to having Abby in our House.”
“I will get over it.” Isis surprised both males by entering the room. Walking over to Oryon she kissed him lightly on the lips before looking to her offspring. “I believe you are making the right choice Ynyr.” Isis smiled at his surprised look. “Abby told us how you did not want her to go with you.”
“She did?”
“Yes. She was heartbroken Ynyr, at the thought of being separated from you.” Ynyr didn’t understand the look his mother was giving him. “You truly do not understand the risk she took in telling us about you do you?” Isis let her gaze travel from Ynyr to O
ryon and back again. “Both of you think only about the risk Ynyr took in speaking to Abby. Yet Abby’s risk was so much greater because she risked herself by putting her faith and her life, in the hands of a male she really does not know. She had already experienced the worst our Empire had to offer in Luuken and Risa… that she could find the courage…”
“Luuken!” Ynyr’s sharply spoken word cut his mother off. “What do you mean Abby experienced Luuken?!!” Ynyr demanded, taking a step closer to his mother.
When Oryon would have stepped between them Isis waved him off.
“Luuken is the male that acquired Abby from Earth. Did you not know this?” Isis asked, tipping her head to the side.
“No.” Ynyr gritted out through clenched teeth. “What did she say he did to her?”
“Abby said nothing,” Isis said and Ynyr felt the tightness in his chest loosening, “because I don’t think she knows.”
“What?”
“I said I don’t think Abby knows. She was drugged at the time Ynyr, Rebecca was the one who told me.”
“What… what did she say? Please mother.” Ynyr begged when she looked unwilling to say.
Isis’ eyes flew to Oryon, she had not even told him about this and wondered if she should speak of what she had been told.
“Isis, you must tell Ynyr if it will assist him in understanding his female.”
“My Lady,” Ynyr instantly corrected.
“What?” Oryon looked at him in confusion.
“Abby will never be a female and will never be treated that way. She is my Lady, the only one I will ever have.”
Oryon looked at him silently for several moments, then nodded his agreement before returning his gaze back to Isis. “If you know anything that will help Ynyr with his Lady you must tell him.”
Isis felt a warmth fill her heart at Ynyr’s words. Her third male had already come to understand that there was a difference in the way Tornians treated their females and how the Earth females expected to be treated. Something Ull hadn’t.
“Rebecca told me this as I was sitting with her when she first came out of the deep healing unit. She was worried about Abby and blaming herself.”