by Rosanna Leo
* * * *
Jani was glad he hadn’t had to resort to tranquilizers. Halfway through their trip back to Gemini Island, after tiring herself out by spouting more vitriol, Barbi had fallen into a deep sleep. Between the drugs and her energetic objections, she’d knocked herself out. She hadn’t awakened when they removed her from the truck. She didn’t move during the boat ride back to the island. And she barely fluttered an eyelash when Luke Miller arrived at Jani’s cabin.
Jani introduced Fleur to Luke. The big bear man shook her hand carefully, as if concerned he’d break it.
“I’m pleased to meet you, Fleur.” Luke passed a hand through his longish, graying hair. “Jani’s told me about your mother. I don’t suppose you can share anything more.”
“Not really. We haven’t been close for a long time.”
“Any idea what she’s taken?”
“Probably anything and everything.”
Luke’s grin was more somber than cheerful. “I’ve known a few anything and everything people. Do you mind if I take a look at her?”
“Go ahead.”
Luke crouched next to the couch on which Barbi dozed and appraised her face. Jani thought he spotted some guarded interest in the other man’s eyes but convinced himself it was concern. Luke brushed Barbi’s dark bangs off her forehead and used a finger to lift one of her eyelids. Her irises floated back.
“She’s out for the count,” Luke confirmed. “Ryland allowed me to use one of the cabins as a temporary rehab. I’ll carry her.”
“We can bring her.” Fleur stepped toward her mother and laid a protective hand on her shoulder. Her eyes narrowed as she sized up the bear man. “She doesn’t know you. She’ll be scared.”
“With all due respect, Fleur,” Luke replied. “Your mother won’t be waking up for a while. And frankly, I think she could use a little shock to her system.”
Fleur found it hard to argue. Her mother had certainly never responded to gentle coercion and pep talks.
Luke glanced at Barbi. “I have my suspicions about the drugs she’s taken. There’s some bad stuff going around the mainland right now. Look, I know we just met, but I have done this before, and with shape-shifters. Our people are…wired differently, to say nothing of being extra stubborn. They need a different approach than humans. Let me look after your mother. I’ll take good care of her.”
“You promise you’ll call if she asks for me?” Fleur’s voice grew soft, broken.
Damn, thought Jani. Fleur’s sadness broke his heart. How he wished he could make it disappear. It hurt even more than the time he got his ass kicked by an ornery polar bear shifter back in Budapest. Jani had been a cocky teen then, out for a fight. The mature bear had given it to him, and then some.
Luke smiled in reassurance. “Jani gave me his number. I promise I’ll call.”
“We can put her in a golf cart,” Jani offered.
“Nah.” Luke slid his arms under Barbi’s limp body and picked her up with ease. “She’s such an itty bitty thing. No trouble at all. I’ll be in touch.”
Jani opened the door for him and Luke carried Barbi out of the building and toward the forest trail.
Fleur joined him at the door, her gaze glued to her mother’s form and her fingers clenching the doorjamb. “You trust him?”
“Luke’s a friend of Ryland’s. Any friend of Ryland’s is a friend of ours. So, yeah, I trust him.”
“And I trust you.”
The magnitude of those four words almost knocked him to his knees. To hear Fleur express trust in anyone, anything, was a big deal. His chest swelled and he felt he carried her trust right near his heart. Safe, where no one would damage it. He wouldn’t let her down.
Only he would.
He hadn’t yet told her about his imminent departure for Hungary. He hadn’t been able to even think about it because it gave him a headache. To say nothing of the damnable tiger inside him, the one that hadn’t stopped grumbling since Anton had made the request. It was time to fill her in. “Fleur, have a seat.”
Her brown eyes flashed with curiosity, but she sat down on the couch. Jani sat next to her. Thank God it no longer smelled of fish. He’d given it a wash and a good airing out and there wasn’t even a hint of halibut.
“What’s on your mind?”
Best to come right out with it. He wasn’t sure if he expected more tears or a slap across the face. Maybe she’d jump for joy, thrilled to finally get him out of her hair. “I’ve spoken with Anton. He needs me to return to Hungary. I leave next week.”
She didn’t say a word, her features frozen in a state of inquisitiveness. Little by little, her gaze drifted to a spot somewhere over his shoulder and her eyes appeared unfocused.
“Fleur?”
She snapped back to attention. “Right. Okay. I get it. You’re needed at home. Budapest is your home.” She stood, smiled, and ran her hands over her thighs. “Thanks for telling me and for helping my mother. And, um, we’ll have to have a drink before you go. See you later.” She turned and headed to the door.
“Wait. Where are you going?”
“Just for a walk. It’s been a long day.”
“I’ll come with you.”
She gave her head a vehement shake. “No. I want to be alone. I mean it, Jani.” She opened the door and stepped through it.
Jani’s tiger reacted with violent need, throwing its large body against his innards and scraping its claws down his lungs. The abrasion made it hard to breathe. He clutched at his chest but she didn’t see. “Fleur, please stay.”
It was too late. Her lithe form had already disappeared into the woods. Moments later, he heard the howl of a wolf. His tiger held still, its head up, its nostrils flared. It roared, seeking to comfort the wolf it cherished.
Jani sat there, hunched over, miserable, and confused. Torn by desire and duty.
Budapest is your home.
For the first time, he doubted that statement. Budapest hadn’t felt like home since he first led a battered Fleur from August Crane’s compound.
Would it ever feel like home again?
Chapter 6
FLEUR tore through the woods until the sky was no longer blue. Having finally given her poor wolf free rein, she’d run for hours, tracing the perimeters of Gemini Island and then doing it all over again. Only when twilight fell did she slow to a trot. She returned to the clearing where she’d stowed her clothes. She’d tucked them among a pile of rocks between two reddening maples. Leaning against one of the trees, she closed her eyes.
Her lungs hurt. Her legs hurt. And her heart, that merciless, ridiculous organ, betrayed her again and again.
He would leave her after all.
Did you really expect any different? August Crane’s vile voice inserted itself into her brain. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
She’d been stupid to hope something might change. Yes, Jani had taught her how to dream, but he had a life somewhere else. A good life. Free of druggies and losers and rejects.
Don’t forget his sister, her wolf reminded her.
Okay, he understood druggies and losers, but at least in Hungary, he’d be free from complications like Fleur. That’s all she’d ever been to him. A complication. An ongoing concern. She held him back from experiencing all life had to offer.
More than anything, her heart cried because she wanted good things for Jani. A nice house, a nice car. A nice mate, one who had her shit together. One with a high school diploma who could hold her own in a conversation with fancy people.
He’s our mate! Her wolf reared up on its hind legs like a horse that had been spooked. Ours!
Shut up, Fleur chastised the animal. Can’t you see I’m trying to make a noble sacrifice here? The first one of my entire life? Don’t spoil it.
She proceeded to shift into human form, resigning her canine to its internal cage, and reached for the bundle of clothes. Fleur dressed slowly, feeling old. Her legs creaked where t
hey never had before. Her face was wet from sweat and tears but she let it air dry, feeling a strange satisfaction in punishing herself. Once she was dressed, still in Suzan’s demure, borrowed clothes, she sat on the nearest rock and contemplated the silvery birch branches at the front of the tree line.
Except she didn’t see the trees. She only saw Jani’s face.
She blinked several times, trying to dispel the taunting imagery. Before long, another figure appeared. Lithe and feminine, it had to be some sort of forest sprite, darting through the trees. Her long blonde hair trailed behind her and her pale face seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. Fleur wiped her eyes, sure they were fooling her. However, by now they were dry, with no tears to blur her vision. The sprite crept closer and assumed a more human aspect, with dark circles under her eyes and lines of worry around her mouth.
“Elaine? Is that you?”
The bear shifter woman approached. “Fleur? What are you doing out in the woods alone?”
“Escaping. What about you?”
“Same thing.”
“From Connor?”
“From him and all the others. They mean well, I know they do. But sometimes I just can’t handle all that sympathy.”
“Have a seat.” She motioned to the space next to her on the flat rock.
Elaine sat, knees together, hands on her lap, back straight. She looked like a tired ballerina, one who couldn’t relax her posture. Fleur wanted to shake her a little, just to see if she could help the woman unwind.
Of course, she didn’t imagine Elaine had rested for a while. When the battle with Crane’s shifters had occurred, Elaine’s mate Lloyd had been one of the Gemini Island casualties. A beloved friend to all at the Ursa Lodge, and long-time employee, Lloyd’s death had been the one to break everyone’s spirits.
Elaine had missed the battle and had never been able to say goodbye to her husband and the father of their two small children. Since then, she’d resembled a ghost.
Fleur didn’t know her well, but she knew everyone at the Ursa had been keeping an eye on her. After all, shape-shifters didn’t do well when they lost mates. A death in their community often resulted in the heartbroken demise of the surviving partner. The mate connection was too strong, too binding.
One of the men at the lodge, Connor, had been paying particular attention to Elaine’s wellbeing. Connor had been Lloyd’s best friend and had pledged to take care of his widow.
Considering Elaine had also indulged in a nighttime runner, Fleur guessed Connor had gone overboard, like Jani tended to do.
“Are you okay?” Fleur asked. “You know, since everything.”
“Not really.” Elaine’s blue eyes widened, making her appear as if she stared into space. “I’ve never felt such pain in my life. It won’t go away.”
“Lloyd was a good man. I didn’t know him well, but I know how much everyone admired him and loved him.” She laid a hand on Elaine’s rigid thigh. “For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry.”
“You didn’t kill him. I don’t blame you. Those thugs who attacked him…” Elaine began to shake, speaking through gritted teeth. “I’m glad he fought long enough to kill them because if I’d gotten my hands on them, I would have torn their hearts out while they still breathed.”
The ballerina had hidden depths.
“Hey.” Fleur patted her knee. “I know a lot of people who would have joined you, or at least, cheered you on.” She grinned but Elaine didn’t reciprocate.
They sat together on the boulder in a silence that felt, if not companionable, at least comfortable. The woods grew darker around them, so dark Fleur could no longer tell which maple leaves were red and which maintained a grasp on their greenery. She closed her eyes for a moment, relishing a moment of peace. Little by little, Elaine leaned against Fleur, so Fleur put an arm around her.
After a few minutes, Elaine turned to Fleur. “Who are you running from?”
“Let’s see. Jani. My mother. Myself. But mostly Jani.”
“Aren’t you buddies?”
“He’s my best buddy.” Fleur laughed because the statement sounded ludicrous in her ears. Best buddies. That was a good one. One hearty guffaw caused her chest to heave, and all of a sudden, the vibrations in her chest began to feel like sobs. After a couple of sobs, she remembered he was leaving. Her sobs turned into all-out wails. Mortified, she clapped a hand over her mouth, sure anyone walking by would think banshees haunted this part of the woods.
Elaine’s eyes widened, the same look Pandora must have worn after opening her mysterious box. “Oh dear.”
Fleur wiped at the wetness on her face, not sure of its source. Her nose dripped. Her tears flowed freely. After a couple of passes with her hand, she wasn’t sure what was snot and what was tears. “He’s my mate. It took me a while to realize it. And he’s going back to Hungary soon. I don’t know what to do. Because he deserves better than me and I want him to have better. I want him to be happy, but my wolf is so depressed and I don’t know how I’ll manage without him. Especially now that my mother is here on Gemini Island. She’s a drug addict and I don’t know how I’m going to deal with her without Jani around. Luke is helping.” She sniffed, sucking in a breath as more words tumbled out of her mouth. “Have you met Luke? He’s pretty hot for an old guy.”
“Yeah, I’ve met him. He’s hot.”
“Anyway, he’s a counselor for addicts, but Jani’s my counselor. He’s the one I go to when the shit hits the fan, and around me, it hits the fan on a fucking constant basis. He’s my conscience, my friend, and so much more. But I have to let him go.” She heaved a huge sigh and dropped her head into her hands.
Elaine said nothing but she ran a delicate hand over Fleur’s back. The act of kindness made Fleur’s tears flow ever harder. Every time she had herself convinced the Ursa gang hated her, one of them demonstrated the opposite. Could she really be friends with these people?
She had no choice. Jani would disappear in days and she had no one in her life but an absent sister, a drug-addled mother who hated her, and Crane’s ghost. So, no one.
“Okay, lady, listen to me.”
Elaine’s assertive tone tore Fleur her out of her funk. She raised her head and gave her eyes another swipe.
“You say Jani is your mate?”
“Yeah. Maybe. I’m pretty sure.”
Elaine frowned. “Shame on you.”
“Come again?”
“You heard me.” Elaine sighed and it seemed all her burdens were tied up in the slump of her shoulders. “Jesus, Fleur. Your mate lives and breathes. Do you know what I would give to be able to say that about mine?”
“But…”
“No buts, sister. Does Jani feel the same way?”
“He hasn’t said the words, but I think he might feel something for me. You know, other than the urge to wring my neck on a regular basis. Oh and he kissed me.” She sniffed. “He’s a really good kisser, like, the best.”
The other woman threw up her hands. “Then what the hell are you doing sitting on this goddamned rock with me? Have you lost your mind?”
Fleur angled her shoulder away from her. “You know, maybe you should go back to the meek and mild routine. I think I like it better.”
“Deal with it. Fleur, I lost my mate. I’ll never hold him or kiss him again. My children cry every night for their father and I don’t know how to console them. And every time I think I might finally have a hold on my sanity, his face appears before me and I remember what those bad people did to him. I can’t bring Lloyd back, but you have Jani and you’re wasting precious moments that could change both your lives.”
“What do you suggest I do?”
“For God’s sake, tell him how you feel!”
“What if I’m wrong?” Her lip trembled. “No one’s ever loved me like that.”
“Take off the blinders. Life’s too short. Even if you’re wrong, you will have spoken your piece. Believe me, in this life, y
ou want to take every opportunity to tell people you love them. Because, one day, they’re gone.”
“But I’ve given Jani so much trouble. Nothing but trouble.”
For the first time since knowing her, Fleur heard Elaine laugh. She was beginning to doubt the woman’s voice box was capable of producing such a sound. It was light and tinkly, and it warmed her heart.
“Sweetheart, it’s time you showed that tiger shifter what trouble really means. I want you to go and give Jani some grade-A, first-class trouble. The kind that’ll put a smile on his face. The kind he’ll remember until his dying day.”
“You want me to seduce Jani?” Fleur couldn’t help laughing along with her.
Why should the idea seem so funny? If anything, the thought of propositioning Jani made her feel she was about to bungee jump off a skyscraper with a faulty cord. She had no reason to feel this way. Fleur had been with men. Quite a few, in fact. She knew what they liked. She could curl a few toes if she put her mind to it.
But his toes?
“Girlfriend,” Elaine said, gently this time. “Do you want him to leave?”
“No.”
“Then give him a reason to stay. Show him he can’t live without you.”
Fleur stood, feeling braver and stronger than she had in a while. Maybe it was time she took an assertive stance with Jani and made some demands of her own. Maybe it was time she took charge of her own pleasure and her own fate.
Elaine stood and gently used her sleeve to wipe at the tracks on Fleur’s cheeks. “Go. You can do it.”
Fleur closed her eyes and clenched her fists at her sides. “Okay. I’ll try. I mean, how hard could it be? We’ve already kissed. I can kick things up a notch. I can do it. I can do it.”
When she opened her eyes again, Elaine had disappeared, just like the elusive wood sprite she thought she’d spotted between the trees. The only hint she’d been there was a tease of flowery perfume on the breeze. For a moment, Fleur doubted the entire conversation had happened.
Then again, perhaps Elaine just needed to stay on the move. After all, she was trying to escape from Connor and all the well-meaning folks at the Ursa Resort. Fleur silently wished Connor luck. She wondered if the mountain lion man knew what he was getting into with his blonde ballerina woman. Elaine might look sweet and delicate, but she had fire in her belly.