An imposing table filled the boardroom, so highly polished it reflected the ceiling. High-backed swivel chairs were arranged around it. A giant monitor took up an entire wall. On it I could see scenes from the clubs. I watched in fascination the image of bodies shiny with perspiration dancing so closely together they were almost melded into one entity. Even though it was only on a screen, the scene made me feel light-headed. The image shifted suddenly to rows of statistics and numerical calculations, then back to the tireless dancers. It seemed to zoom in on individuals and tabulate information about them.
“What do you think of my club rats?” Jake boasted. “Damned to drink and dance for eternity! That was my idea.” He held a tumbler from which he periodically sipped an amber liquid. A half-smoked cigarette hovered on the rim of an ashtray.
Someone coughed and I swung around to see we weren’t alone. A youth who didn’t look much older than me sat in the far corner of the boardroom, stroking a sleeping cat. He was dressed in a checkered shirt and pants so big they had to be held up with braces. His brown hair was cut jaggedly across his forehead as if it had been done with a pair of shears. He sat with his feet pointing inward the way a child might.
“Beth, meet Tucker. He’s one of my assistants and he’ll be keeping an eye on you. Tucker, stand up and shake hands,” Jake barked at the boy before smoothly turning back to me. “My apologies for his boorish manners.”
Jake seemed to treat him as some kind of pet that he was in the process of training. When Tucker stood up and came toward me, I saw that he had a discernible limp and dragged his right leg. He held out a large, calloused hand for me to shake. I saw a deep scar ran from his upper lip to the base of his nose. It pulled his lip up slightly so that he looked as if he were permanently sneering. Despite his size he seemed vulnerable to me. I tried smiling at him, but he only scowled darkly and averted his gaze.
Tucker’s movement roused the cat, a Siamese and none too friendly. It arched its back and hissed ferociously at me.
“I don’t think he likes competition,” said Jake in a silky voice. “Enough with the temper tantrum, Faustus. How are you settling in, Bethany? I’m sorry your arrival had to be so dramatic, but I couldn’t think of any other way.”
“Really?” I retorted. “I would’ve thought over-the-top is just the way you like it, being the big drama queen you are.” I tried to make my words as offensive as I could. I was in no mood to humor him.
Jake twisted his mouth into an O of mock surprise and clamped his fingers over it.
“My, my, we’ve learned to be catty. That’s a good thing. You can’t go through life always being Little Bo Peep.”
Jake reminded me of a chameleon in the way he could alter his appearance to blend with his surroundings. On home ground he was entirely different from the way I remembered him at school. At Bryce Hamilton he had been self-assured but still an outsider. He’d his devoted clan of followers, but it was the subculture he represented that was his strongest attraction. He’d known he didn’t belong and made no attempt to conceal it. Instead, he seemed to revel in drawing attention and when he worked his seductive influence over a student, it gave him a smug satisfaction. But he’d always been on the alert, prepared for any eventuality. On his home turf, Jake was entirely relaxed, his shoulders sloped, his smile lazy. Here, he had all the time in the world and his authority went unquestioned.
He rolled his head to the side impatiently and addressed Tucker. “Are you going to pour my guest some wine or just stand there all day like the oversize lump of uselessness you are?”
The boy hurried over to a low table and grabbed a crystal glass with clumsy hands. He filled it with crimson liquid from a decanter, and set it down gruffly in front of me.
“I don’t want a drink,” I snapped at Jake, pushing the wine away. “I want to know what you’ve done to me. There are things I want to remember, but my memories are blocked. Unblock them!”
“What’s the point in remembering your past life?” Jake smiled. “All you need to know is that you were an angel, and now you’re my angel.”
“You honestly don’t think you can keep me here without some consequences? Some divine retribution?”
“I’m not doing too badly so far,” Jake chuckled. “Besides, it was high time you got away from that hick town. It was clearly holding you back.”
“You make me sick!”
“Now, now, let’s not squabble on your very first day. Please, do sit down.” Jake’s voice became suddenly inviting as if we were two friends reuniting after a long separation. “We have so much to talk about.”
8
No Exit
“I’M not discussing anything with you until I get my memories back,” I said through gritted teeth. “They weren’t yours to take and there are things I need to remember.”
“I didn’t take away your memories, Beth,” Jake scoffed. “Though it’s flattering you think I’m powerful enough to do so. I may have buried them temporarily but dig deep and you’ll find them. Personally, I’d let it go, make a fresh start.”
“Will you show me how? I can’t do it by myself.”
“Give me one good reason why I should.” Jake rocked back in his chair and pouted. “I’m sure you’ll only twist things to make me look bad.”
“I’m serious, enough with the games!”
“Bethany, has it occurred to you that maybe I’m doing this for your own good? Maybe you’re better off this way.”
“Jake, please,” I said softly. “I’m not the same person anymore. I don’t recognize myself. What’s the point of having me here if I don’t even know who I am?”
Jake gave an exaggerated sigh as if my request were a huge imposition.
“Oh, very well.” In a single fluid movement he crossed the room to where I was standing. “Let me see what I can do.”
Jake pressed two cool fingers lightly against my right temple. And that was it. The repressed memories cascaded like an avalanche. I had to reach out and steady myself by holding on to the edge of the table. I still remembered my peaceful life at Byron, but now the missing pieces of the puzzle were back. I remembered the core and center from which everything else stemmed. I saw the night of the Halloween party, only this time I wasn’t alone. Someone with dazzling blue eyes, honeystreaked hair, and a smile so disarming it made me weak at the knees was by my side. Remembering Xavier’s face caused an indescribable rush of happiness to surge through me.
But it was short lived. Seconds later another memory savagely blotted out the first. I saw Xavier’s crumpled figure lying on the dusty road while a motorbike sped away into the darkness. The memory made me so heartsick I wished I could give it back and force it out of my mind. My whole body now ached with the pain of our separation and the sight of his lifeless form. I couldn’t live with the knowledge that he might be gone. If I knew that Xavier was alive and well, I could even bear my exile to this God-forsaken wasteland. Without him, I wouldn’t be able to muster the will to survive. I realized at that moment that, wise or foolhardy, all of my happiness came from one single source. If that source was cut off, I wouldn’t be able to function; I wouldn’t want to.
“Xavier,” I breathed. I felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Why was it so stifling in here? The image couldn’t be dislodged. “Please tell me he’s all right.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Typical. I should have known your thoughts would go straight to him.”
I was choking back tears. “Wasn’t it enough to abduct me? How dare you hurt him! You’re a vicious, heartless coward.” Rage suddenly replaced my distress. My hands curled into fists and began beating at Jake’s chest. He didn’t try to stop me but simply waited for the anger to subside.
“Feel better now?” he asked. I didn’t feel better, but I did feel a tiny sense of release. “Let’s dispense with the melodrama,” he said. “Pretty boy isn’t dead—just a little worse for wear.”
“What?” My head jerked up.
“The imp
act didn’t kill him,” Jake said. “It just knocked him out.”
The relief I felt was resuscitating. I sent a silent prayer to whatever higher power had spared him. Xavier was alive! He was breathing and walking the earth, perhaps just a little more bruised than when I last saw him.
“I suppose things are better this way,” Jake said with a wry smile. “His death might have started things off on the wrong foot between us.”
“Do you promise never to hurt him?” I asked testily.
“Never is a long time. Let just say he’s safe for now.”
I didn’t like the implication behind the words for now, but decided not to push my luck.
“And Ivy and Gabriel are safe?”
“They’re a formidable force together,” he said. “Anyway, they were never part of the plan. I was only interested in getting you here and now that’s done. Although for a while I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull it off. It’s no easy feat for a demon to drag an angel into hell, you know. I’m not sure it’s ever been done before.” Jake looked pleased with his achievement.
“It sure looked easy to me.”
“Well,” Jake said, smiling indulgently. “I didn’t think I’d be able to rise again after your holier-than-thou brother sent me back down here. But then those silly little friends of yours started summoning spirits right there in Venus Cove! I couldn’t believe my luck.”
Jake’s eyes smoldered like coals. “It wasn’t a very powerful incantation that girl recited. It only awoke some restless spirits, but they were more than happy to trade places.”
“They weren’t trying to summon demons,” I said defensively. “Séances are only supposed to conjure spirits.” I couldn’t shake the feeling of responsibility. I had chosen to turn a blind eye when I should have done more to stop them, including smashing the board into tiny pieces and throwing it out the window.
“It’s more of a lucky strike really,” Jake said. “Who knows what you’ll pull out of the ground.” I glowered at him darkly. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s not entirely my fault. I couldn’t have brought you here if you hadn’t accepted my invitation.”
“What invitation?” I said sarcastically. “I don’t remember you asking if I wanted a pit stop in Hell.”
“I offered you a ride and you accepted,” Jake said smugly.
“That doesn’t count, I was tricked—I thought you were someone else!”
“Too bad. Rules are rules. Besides, how naïve can you be? Didn’t it strike you as a teeny bit odd that Mr. Responsible would dive-bomb from a tree into a river? Did you really think he’d ditch you to play frat-boy pranks? Even I didn’t think you’d fall for that. You of all people should have known better, but it only took a second to break your faith in him. You sealed your own fate by accepting that ride. It hardly had anything to do with me at all.”
His words hit me like blows. As the realization of my own stupidity sank in, Jake began to laugh. I’d never heard anyone laugh in such an empty, hollow way. He reached out and grasped my hands in his.
“Don’t worry, Beth. I’m not going to let one little mistake change my opinion of you.”
“Let me go home,” I pleaded. Somewhere in the recesses of his mind I hoped there lingered a vestige of decency that would allow him to feel a hint of remorse, a tinge of guilt, anything I could beg or bargain with. But I couldn’t have been more wrong.
“You are home,” Jake said in a flat voice. He pressed my hands to his chest. His flesh felt as malleable as dough, and for an awful second I thought my fingers would sink right into the hollow cavity where his heart should have been.
“I’m sorry I can’t be human for you,” he drawled. “But you have a few irregularities of your own, so I don’t think you can sit in judgment.” He released one of my hands, allowing his fingers to hover over my retracted wings.
“At least I have a heart, which is more than I can say for you,” I said. “It’s no wonder you don’t feel anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You make me feel things, Beth. That’s why you have to stay. Hell’s a whole lot brighter with you in it.”
I wrenched my other hand free. “I don’t have to do anything. I may be your prisoner, but you have no power over my heart. And sooner or later, Jake, you’re going to have to accept that.” I turned on my heel to leave.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Jake demanded. “You can’t just wander around here unchaperoned. It’s not safe.”
“We’ll see about that.”
“I really wish you’d reconsider.”
“Leave me alone!” I yelled over my shoulder. “I don’t care what you want.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” In the hallway I found Hanna waiting dutifully.
“I’m leaving this hellhole,” I announced and headed in the direction of the revolving doors. The lobby looked unattended so perhaps I wouldn’t be intercepted.
“Wait, miss!” Hanna cautioned, scuttling alongside me. “The prince is right, you don’t want to go out there!”
I ignored her and flung myself through the revolving doors and out into the middle of nowhere. Surprisingly no one made any attempt to stop me. There was no plan in my mind but that didn’t matter. I wanted to put as much distance between Jake and myself as I possibly could. If there were portals into this place, those same portals had to lead out. I only needed to find one. But as I ran into the smoky tunnels Hanna’s words reverberated in my head. There is no way out.
Beyond Hotel Ambrosia the tunnels were deep and dark, littered with beer bottles and the burnt-out husks of old cars, charred from the inside out. They twisted all around me and the people that staggered past seemed caught in a daze, completely unaware of my presence. I could tell they were condemned souls by the hollow looks in their eyes. If I could find the road we’d taken to get to the hotel, maybe I could persuade the door bitches to let me out.
The deeper I ventured into the tunnels, the more I began to notice things, like the strange mist and the smell of burning hair that was strong enough to make me cover my mouth with my hand. The mist swirled around me, marshaling me forward, and once it cleared I saw that I was nowhere near Pride, the club through which I had first entered. In fact, I had no idea where I was, but I sensed a deep evil, like a chill in my blood. For one thing, strangers surrounded me. I wasn’t sure what to call them, but I knew they had once been people. There was no way you could call them that now. They looked more like wraiths and they walked around aimlessly, vanishing in and out of the dark crevices. Their energy was still present even though they looked through vacant eyes and their hands clutched uselessly at the air. I focused on the apparition closest to me, trying to understand what was happening. It was a man smartly dressed in a business suit. He had a neat haircut and wore metal-framed glasses. After a few moments a woman materialized in front of him along with the domestic setting of a kitchen. The whole scene shimmered like a mirage, but I had the feeling that for those involved it was far more real. A heated discussion erupted between the pair. I felt ill at ease watching them as if I were intruding on a very private moment.
“No more lies. I know everything,” the woman said.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” the man replied in a tremulous voice.
“I know that I’m leaving you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I’m going to stay with my sister for a while. Until things get sorted.”
“Sorted?” The man was becoming more agitated.
“I want a divorce.” There was a resolve in her voice that made the man crumble and he made a low, moaning sound.
“Shut up.”
“I’ve had enough of you treating me like dirt. I’m going to be happy without you.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” His body language was threatening, but she didn’t read the signs.
“Get out of my way.”
When she tried to push past him, he seized a carving knife from the set on the
counter. Even though it wasn’t real, the knife’s blade gleamed and looked solid. He lunged forward and slammed his wife back against the counter. I didn’t see the knife come up, but the next minute it was lodged firmly under her rib cage. Instead of remorse, the sight of blood unleashed a frenzy. He stabbed repeatedly, ignoring her shrieks until the opening he had made was a bloody pulp. Only then did he hurl the knife aside and his wife’s limp body slipped from his grasp. Her eyes were wide and staring, cheeks flecked with her own blood. As soon as she hit the tiles on the floor, she vanished and the kitchen disappeared with her.
I cowered in a corner, my breath in my throat, trying to stop my hands from shaking. This was one scene I would not forget in a hurry. The man looked dazed, turning in circles, and for a dreadful moment I thought he’d become aware of my presence. But then the woman reappeared before him, whole and untouched.
“No more lies. I know everything,” she said.
It was as if someone had hit replay on a movie. I realized the whole grisly scene was about to be repeated before my eyes. Those involved were doomed to relive it infinitely. The other figures scattered around me were each reliving their own crimes of the past: murder, rape, assault, adultery, theft, betrayal. The list seemed endless.
I’d always interacted with the concept of evil on a philosophical level. Now I felt as though it was all around me, palpable and real. I ran blindly back the way I’d come without stopping. There were times when I felt things brushing past me or catching at the hem of my dress, but I shook myself free and kept running. I only stopped when I thought another step would cause my lungs to collapse.
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