‘So, Keener.’ Callum’s mum turned to me. I hadn’t said a word at dinner. ‘How long have you been friends with Callum?’
The instant raspberry face was accompanied by sweaty armpits. Think of something, Keener. I opened my mouth to encourage something to come out – it sometimes works. But not this time.
‘We’ve all been in the same class for ages,’ said Fifty.
Thank you.
The dishes were all cleared by Callum and Bee. Pudding came next. I was on high alert in case she tried to make me talk again but I think she thought I was shy, or stupid, or both and she didn’t ask anything else. Fine by me.
‘We’d better be going,’ said Fifty when our bowls were clean. ‘Thank you for the thali. It was really nice.’ He smiled his cutest I’ve-got-curly-black-hair-and-rosy-cheeks smile.
‘So soon?’ she said.
I didn’t want to risk having to stay so I finally spoke. ‘Yes. We’ve got to go.’
‘Well, it’s been lovely to have company. It’s quiet with just the two of us.’ Maybe Callum doesn’t have a dad, I thought. ‘Come any time,’ she said. She put her arm round Callum . . . and kissed him! That was worth storing up if we needed ammunition when we went back to the usual warring between Tribe and Callum. After all, having a nice mum and nice rabbits didn’t mean he was nice.
Everyone said ‘Bye.’ Excellent. Dinner was done.
Except on the way home Bee had a proposal.
‘I know we said no one can leave and no one can join, but we made the rule so we can change it.’ I knew what she was going to say. No way!
I stared straight at Bee. ‘But it’s in the manifesto you wrote . . . the one that’s in the Tribehouse.’ (Bee insisted on writing down our aims and stuff in a posh way on posh paper – it’s rolled up at the back of the safe.)
‘Exactly, Keener. I wrote it. I can change it.’
I could tell the others were all nudging each other behind me, and whispering. It wasn’t surprising – I don’t usually pick a fight with Bee, for obvious reasons. But someone needed to do something before she decided to crown Callum as Chief Triber. As I turned round to make sure they were supporting me I saw Jonno wink at Bee. Surely he didn’t agree with her. I searched the faces of my fellow Tribers. Say something! No one looked me in the eye. They all seemed a bit uncomfortable.
‘The black rabbit was cute, wasn’t it?’ said Fifty. Not Fifty too! This was a mutiny.
‘And his snake was amazing. He feeds it baby mice,’ said Jonno. ‘You buy them frozen, like scallops.’
It was unbelievable. They were on Bee’s side. The Strange Case of the Pink-smeared Board and the Suspended Boy was in danger of turning out very badly indeed. I couldn’t understand why Copper Pie wasn’t shouting ‘No way can Callum be a Triber.’ He was bound to be on my side. I nudged him.
‘What?’ he said.
I stuttered something. I was so het up I couldn’t get the words out. (Actually I didn’t know what the words were.) How could the Tribers be so stupid? So we had a nice tea, that didn’t change anything. So he had pets, who cares? Callum was still Callum. Full stop. I shook my head, desperate to find a way of stopping the madness.
Copper Pie started laughing at me. Not very nice, but that’s what he’s like sometimes.
I tried again. ‘But —’
Bee doubled over and started groaning. Jonno’s face collapsed with giggles. Fifty was obviously trying not to laugh. Oh great! My stupid Triber mates, who wanted to make friends with Hog all because of a rabbit and a snake, were in fits because I’d stumbled over a couple of words. I thought about walking off.
Bee put her hand on my shoulder, and snorted in my ear like a pig.
‘Go away,’ I said.
‘Keener.’ She didn’t say anything except my name because she was too busy being in stitches. ‘It’s a joke.’
I didn’t see what it was about me that was a joke. Even Fifty, who I spend most time with, was laughing now.
‘It’s a joke, Keener,’ he said. More loud laughing. That was it. I’d had enough. I walked off, fast. My face was hot and I was really angry.
Jonno caught up with me. ‘Stop, Keener. Stop a minute.’
I stopped. ‘Finished laughing at me?’ I said.
‘Sorry, Keener. It was a joke about Callum, not you. We don’t want him to be a Triber. It was a joke, that’s all. Bee didn’t mean that thing about changing our rule that no one can join, but you sounded so . . . outraged, like someone complaining on the radio. And then when you turned round she winked at us and we all got the idea and . . . pretended to agree. It was a wind up, that’s all. Sorry.’
The others all caught up. They had serious faces. I thought about saying Ha ha that’s funny, my name’s Bugs Bunny, but that’s what Flo says and it sounds really silly (which is exactly how I felt), so I didn’t say anything.
‘Sorry,’ said Bee.
‘Sorry,’ said Copper Pie.
‘Same,’ said Fifty.
Even though I was still cross, I couldn’t help feeling relieved. It was finally over. It would have been nicer if they hadn’t decided to follow thali time with tease-Keener time but I could see it was mildly funny that I fell for it.
‘I’ll let you off,’ I said.
‘You are a bit of a twit, believing we’d change our minds that easily,’ said Bee.
‘It’s weird though, that Callum’s such a pain at school when his mum’s so nice,’ said Fifty.
‘I don’t think it’s weird,’ said Jonno. ‘It’s stupid to think that all mean people have mean parents and all nice people have nice parents and all kids who lie have parents who lie.’
‘Too right,’ said Copper Pie. ‘I’m lovely and my mum’s terrible.’ This time it was me who laughed my head off.
‘And my mum’s a nutter and I’m completely sane,’ said Fifty, making a completely insane face.
‘And my mum’s a doctor,’ I said, ‘and I can’t stand blood.’
Bee was right – as usual. I was a twit. I should have had more faith. Tribe had been tested loads of times, and every time we’d come out on top. I slapped my hand down and we did a Tribe handshake with whooping noises.
After all, it takes more than a snake, two rabbits, two cats and a thali to make a Triber.
Why is Copper Pie bunking off school at lunchtime? When the other Tribers find out, they can’t help getting involved and they’re soon in trouble (again).
Then it’s the school camping trip, where Team Tribe build rafts, tell jokes, race rubber ducks and finally face the scary assault course. Will Fifty manage to conquer his fear?
It’s non-stop for Tribe.
Coming Soon
T. M. Alexander’s favourite colour is green. When she’s not writing, she’s either cycling around on her bright green bike or swimming in the green water of her local lake. She doesn’t have a pet, but if she did, it would be green.
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Have you read these other
Tribe books?
Jonno Joins
Goodbye, Copper Pie
Labradoodle on the Loose Page 12