by Montana Ash
Max stirred the pot of chilli furiously, taking out her frustrations on the minced meat. When she had entered the house the other four paladins had been in the kitchen figuring out the evening meal. They had been bickering like children and ordinarily Max would have found the novelty amusing and sweet, but not today. She had declared it was her night to cook and for everyone to get the hell out of her kitchen. She didn’t often have a kitchen she could putter in but when she was able to she actually loved to cook. It was something people with a home always took for granted. Darius had been predictably horrified: ‘wardens do not wait on paladins’. But Max was in a mood and not to be trifled with: ‘you say I’m some kind of a boss or leader with high status? Then do what I fucking say and vacate this area until I give you leave to return!’ She had snarled. Beyden – sweet, sweet, Beyden had then made the mistake of asking: ‘Why are you mad? Did you get your period?’ The silent venomous look she threw his way had him scrambling out of the room, deserting his fellow soldiers on the battlefield. Darius’s eyes had been wide in horror and Lark had held up his hands in surrender, neither coming to the defence of their comrade. They had then likewise scampered out of the room like the male rodents they were. Cali had offered the helpful advice that the saucepans were under the sink before also leaving.
She was now in multitasking heaven with a pot of churning chilli, bubbling beans and boiling rice on the stove top. She had flat bread rising in the oven and was mashing up avocado, squeezing lemons and crushing garlic for an amazing guacamole. The cheese had been grated, the chives added to the sour cream and the salsa was in the refrigerator next to the fabulous salad. She had even taken the liberty of opening a couple of bottles of wine to let them breathe. She knew Beyden was the wine connoisseur and figured they were likely his from his coveted collection but she also figured that he owed her for the period comment so hadn’t batted an eyelash when she opened the expensive bottles. They were going to take away her man-toy, were they? Well, they would learn. Oh, they would all learn …
The back door slammed and Axel walked in. His face was flushed from the wind and his hair was mussed but other than that he didn’t look like he had just gone a round with a legendary knight. He did look a little sheepish but he also looked resolute and not in the least apologetic. The man clearly thought he had every right to interfere and he had acted in her best interests. Underneath her sexual torment was a tiny spark of warmth that came from the feeling of someone caring enough about her to stand up for her – misguided though it may be. He was just trying to help, Max knew they all were. Even Ryker. She was at that point where she now believed everything they said and trusted that they knew what they were talking about in regards to paladins and wardens and domains. She wondered when they were going to do her the same courtesy of believing her when she said she knew herself and her thoughts and her feelings. It only seemed fair that they extend the same trust to her.
Before Axel could speak, she pointed her spoon at him. “Not a word. Go and wash up and tell the others that dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”
“But –”
“What did I just say?” She snarled. Axel intelligently shut his trap and fled.
Not two minutes later, Ryker marched in. Max took one look at his pretty face and knew that Mr Hyde had returned. She had no doubt the original Ryker she had met two weeks ago who snarled at her, grunted at her, and insulted her with every other breath had made a comeback. Whatever Axel had said or done outside had caused the charming, articulate man to retreat and leave behind the only man in history to suffer from PMS. Max had been shocked to her core when Ryker had complimented her fighting skills and she had been pleasantly surprised when he had started to talk about the female paladins. She honestly didn’t know he had it in him. She had him pegged for a chauvinistic, sexist, patriarch and would never have believed he was so liberal.
“Let me guess; what happened outside was a big mistake and won’t happen again.” She prompted drolly before he could open his yap and dig a deeper hole for himself.
“Yeah. That’s pretty much the footnotes.”
Max eyed him, “Why not?”
“Because I said so.”
Max could only blink. “Are you taking the piss right now? ‘Because I said so’?” She continued quickly, “You know what? Suit yourself. It’s not like I’m hard up for orgasms or anything. My fingers work just fine, I assure you.” Ryker’s scar flexed as his jaw clenched tight. He wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted her to believe so she decided to tease the tiger, “Are you absolutely sure? Once we relieve all this sexual tension between us, our working relationship would probably improve.”
“We don’t have any sexual tension.” The blunt reply was accompanied by a heavy scowl.
Max could feel her eyes practically bug out of her head at the man’s nerve. “Oh, okay Pinocchio. Whatever you say.” If he wanted to live in La La Land, who was she to burst his delusional little bubble? The paladin’s balls could turn blue and drop off for all she cared. She continued to set the table, “Dinner’s on in five.”
His scowl darkened further, “Why are you organising dinner? Where are the others? You have no place waiting on us woman!”
Max spun and skewered his chest with a sharp finger. “Don’t you ‘woman’ me! I’ll do as I fucking-well please! Now go wash your hands!” She spun around, muttering about the fiasco that was the male species. What had the Goddess been thinking when she created them? Other than their pecs, or biceps, or dicks of course … So okay, fine. Maybe they weren’t a total lost cause but they sure as shit aggrieved her.
SIXTEEN
So this is awkward, Max thought to herself. Everyone was seated stiffly as they watched her place the food on the table in silence like it physically pained them to have her waiting on them. It was completely ridiculous of course, it was the least she could do. She had been there two weeks now and cooking a meal was a small thing she could do to repay them all for their kindness. That morning she had offered to tidy the kitchen and maybe vacuum the house. She thought Darius was going into heart failure for a minute, so she had relented. But not tonight. It was their turn to be spoilt – even Axel and Ryker who were both on her Shit List.
“What’s everyone waiting for? Dig in.” She gestured to the food after taking her own seat.
Lark cleared his throat and bravely reached for the beef, “Thank you Max. It all looks wonderful but you really shouldn’t have.”
“Yes. I should. It’s the least I can do for everything you’ve all done. You may not have noticed, but I’m a touch independent.” This received several snorts and snickers and the tension relaxed. “I’m not used to being waited on or coddled. Dinner is a small way to say thank you. I appreciate you all very much for giving me your time and knowledge and experience. You’re good eggs.”
And cue the throat clearing. So predictable, Max thought. Seeing Beyden piling his plate only with salad, Max said, “Oh, hey Bey. You don’t need to just eat salad. I made a great spicy bean dish just for you that I hope you’ll love. I noticed you’re a vegetarian. Probably because you’re allied to the animals, huh?” She popped some bread into her mouth as she asked. When she didn’t immediately receive a reply she glanced up. Beyden was staring at her in disbelief, his orangey eyes glowing with something she couldn’t name.
“What is it?” She asked in concern.
“You made a dish just for me because you noticed I don’t eat meat?” His deep voice was soft and more accented than usual.
“Of course.” She didn’t understand what the BFD was but apparently the others agreed with Beyden for they were all looking at her with something akin to … worship, if she wasn’t mistaken. It was beginning to freak her out.
“Thank you, Warden.” Beyden bowed his head before reaching for the beans.
“Ookay. You’re welcome. It’s just beans dude.” She responded with a shrug. Maybe beans were some kind of sacred legume in their society or something?
Darius
cleared his throat, “I know you said you grew up in the foster care system but do you remember anything of your parents?”
“No. Nothing.” Max was surprised at the change in topic and certainly didn’t want to encourage the line of thought. She didn’t remember her parents because she didn’t remember anything before she was sixteen years old … but she didn’t want to tell Darius that. It was obvious she was already strange in their world, not quite fitting the usual pattern of a warden. There was no way she was going to add more fuel to that particular fire.
Darius continued, “I was just wondering if you knew what your real name was, that’s all. It could help us figure out who your family is.”
Max was intrigued despite herself. “What does my name have to do with anything?”
“A warden’s name is a direct reflection of their domain. Their name is a portrayal of their natures and the world’s needs. For example, my old liege was named Ariel and was keeper of air, Caspian is guardian to the domain of water, Fern – a warden of earth. There is no way your parents called you Max.” The last was said with a derisive snort. She was immediately offended.
“And just what is wrong with the name Max? I’ll have you know that I was so named after much thought and consideration.” Even to her own ears she sounded cold and snotty. But it was the truth nonetheless. The fact that she had named herself was her business. At least Darius had the decency to look chagrined.
“Sorry, Max. I didn’t mean it like that. I think Max is a great name. Really suits you.”
Max kept her eyes narrowed on him, not willing to let him off the hook quite yet. Besides, their naming custom sounded way cliché. She bet there was a warden called Rain out there who was the guardian of water too. “What would I change my name to anyway? Cloud? Moon? Oh, I know … Grass. I want to be Grass!” Max let out a rather undignified laugh-snort. The paladins didn’t appear to share in her humour however judging by the frowns and eye rolls.
“Aurora.”
Surprised and somewhat confused by Ryker’s outburst, Max asked, “What?”
“Aurora. You know, like the Aurora Borealis? The Northern Lights? I saw it once. Like a floating rainbow; a coloured road of mist in the sky. Purples, pinks and blues swirling in the atmosphere. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Your eyes looked like that when you were having your nightmare.”
Utter. Silence.
You could practically hear a pin drop as all eyes focused incredulously on their leader. Max could literally feel her mouth fall open as she stared at Ryker. Who’d a thunk the big lug could be so romantic and almost poetic even?! Max didn’t really fancy herself as particularly romantic, but damn, you’d have to be dead inside not to feel a little swoon from that! And even more endearing? A red flush was rising steadily from beneath the collar of his shirt, highlighting those outrageous cheekbones, until even the tips of his ears were rosy. His eyes widened comically as he looked around the room frantically, brain apparently catching up with mouth.
“Fuck! I don’t mean that you’re beautiful – not that you’re ugly or anything – I mean, you’re pretty enough I guess …”
Axel slapped Ryker’s shoulder, “I’d stop while you’re ahead if I were you dude!”
The dinner proved to be a loud, rowdy affair after that and Max relaxed and revelled in the camaraderie right up to the point where her brain decided to misfire and cause a small myoclonic seizure. Her hand jerked sporadically and spilled wine over the table top. Perfect! She still hadn’t discussed her epilepsy with the paladins. It didn’t seem like something any other warden suffered with.
“Max, you need vitality.” The statement was swift and severe.
“Damn, Darius. You’re like a freaking broken record! How many times do I have to say it? I’m not interested.” Max bit off angrily.
“Why won’t you accept what we offer so freely?” Lark asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
Max sighed, suddenly feeling very tired. “Because it’s not really offered freely … you don’t really mean it.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I mean it Max. It is my duty.” Lark said earnestly.
“That is exactly my point. You are offering out of some messed up sense of obligation. I have no desire to take anything from you that you’re not happy to give.” She forestalled all further lame platitudes by continuing, “Besides, I’ve managed all these years without it. A little longer won’t hurt anything.”
“We really need to figure that out by the way.” Axel interjected, he looked at Ryker, “Maybe it’s time to talk to the IDC.”
Ryker seemed to think on that a moment, “Not yet. I would really like Diana’s input first.”
Max frowned. He seemed to hold the other female paladin’s opinion in high esteem. She was taking longer to return than they had all expected. Cali had told her a lot about her friend and Max thought she sounded like a cool chick. Ryker obviously thought she was cool too because he was willing to put up with Max in his home and around his family even though he desired anything but, just so he could listen to Diana’s thoughts. Max wondered if they were lovers. Maybe that was the real reason why Ryker was so pissed off by his attraction to her. Maybe he was a dirty, rotten cheater! The thought made Max’s blood boil and before she knew it the glasses on the table were rattling. Looking around she saw that the wine and the water were actually bubbling. Was she doing that? She hadn’t lost control of her powers like that since Japan.
“Max … just relax okay. Remember what I said about breathing? Just concentrate on your breaths in and your breaths out.” Lark’s melodious voice was soothing but she paid no heed to the words. Her attention was fixed on the boiling liquids in front of her.
“Am I doing that?” She asked instead, seeking clarification.
“Yes. You are.” Ryker responded as he stood slowly from his chair. “And you need to stop it.”
Max curled her lips at his tone. She hated when he used that condescending tone on her. The wine glass in front of him cracked and split a second before it shattered, spilling its contents onto the table. The red wine looked like blood on the pale table cloth and Max felt her heart begin to beat faster in fear. She was losing control. People always got hurt when she lost control.
“Max! Max! Hey, listen to me okay.” It was Cali. “You need to stop focusing on what you’re doing. Stop focusing on how you’re feeling. Just ignore everything but the sound of my voice, okay?”
Max focused and found herself calming when she felt five distinct hands placed on her. The only person not to touch her was Ryker – probably a wise decision at this point. About sixty seconds later, Max felt she was calm enough to speak.
“I don’t understand how I’m able to do that. You all keep saying that wardens are passive, that their powers aren’t active. How do I keep doing this?” She was still shaking and a headache was creeping up behind her eyes but her brain’s need for answers overrode her body’s need for rest.
“A warden’s purpose is passive. Balance is the purpose. Balance is neutral. But your gifts and abilities are tangible so they can be used actively.” Darius the ever-knowing answered her of course.
“And they can harm as well as heal. That’s what you haven’t told me these last few days.” Max accused. They knew wardens had the ability to destroy as well as create and they hadn’t told her. All this time she had thought there was something wrong with her. All those mistakes she had made with her abilities in the past; the fires, the floods, the explosions. She wasn’t defective. Her powers weren’t wrong. They were the same as all the other wardens.
“You’ve been lying to me.”
“Don’t get melodramatic. We haven’t lied to you.” The sensitive, caring response came from Ryker of course. Man, he was such a jackass! She couldn’t believe she had wanted to climb him like her own personal jungle gym just an hour before.
“Oh, Really? And what would you call it?”
“He’s right Max. We haven’t lied, we just h
aven’t discussed that part of your powers yet. We wanted you to learn some control, some discipline so you could better understand your domain before we touched on using them so actively.” Darius reasoned. “You need to learn the basics before taking the advanced class.”
Max eyed him, “You’re hoping my logical, rational side will understand that. And it does. But my illogical, irrational side thinks that a lie by omission is still a lie.”
“Max, you need to learn control. All wardens start out learning the basics like we have been teaching you; meditation, relaxation, breathing, shielding.” Lark explained.
Max shook her head. “I trust that you really believe you have acted in my best interests. But you’re forgetting something important.” She made eye contact with each of them, adding weight to her words so they would actually listen and hear what she was saying. “I’m not like all other wardens. They start this training when they are children; I am not a child. They develop their powers over time as they learn; my powers are fully developed. They forge bonds with paladins and renew their vitality from infancy; I am an adult who has never exchanged vitality with a paladin.” She paused and prayed they were listening, “I am not one of them. You need to stop treating me like I am.”
The serious looks the paladins threw at each other told Max there was going to be no room for dessert. Fuck it! She had been looking forward to cosmopolitan ice cream all day!
SEVENTEEN
Ryker tossed and turned all night. The events from the previous night had left him restless and unable to sleep. Firstly, he had tried to dry hump Max into the next century and then he had watched as she had boiled the damn wine as easy as breathing. Even without the normal vitality boosts she was incredibly powerful. It made him wonder just how strong she would be when she finally had vitality from a paladin running through her veins. It worried him … a lot. Max had asked many questions about the chades over the last weeks and they had told her everything she needed to know but there were some important things he had omitted. He really hoped he hadn’t made a mistake by not telling her that chades were actually wardens who had succumbed to the allure of their own powers. If Max didn’t get her abilities under control, she could very well be headed in the same direction. And a trip to the Rangers was not something any of them wanted. Those depressing thoughts had dictated his actions from earlier that morning and he was now attempting to justify those actions to his fellow knights.