She snorted. He’d deliberately left it open to interpretation whether he meant himself or the kitten. It was sad, the way he couldn’t even get a declaration of love right.
A declaration of love . . . Was Guillermo trying to tell her that he loved her? It had sunk into her brain only at that moment: He was saying that he loved her, wasn’t he?
No, she told herself. Don’t get your hopes up. He’ll never change.
But then again — hadn’t Madame Hortensia told her that the right guy would give her a sign? And wasn’t a note at her door quite literally a sign?
These contradictory thoughts chased themselves round and round in her head, like a kitten chasing its own tail, until she fell asleep.
Her phone blasted her awake from a dream about Guillermo planning a wedding for Jessica and the kitten.
“Hello?”
“Are you still sleeping?” bellowed her sister. “I’ve been calling you all morning!”
Jessica rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock: 10:00 a.m. And it was Sunday. In her dream, Jessica had been wearing an arm cast.
“I’m right here. Quit yelling.”
“I’m not yelling,” Sabrina yelled. “What are you, hung over?”
Sabrina was probably calling to find out what had happened with Jonathan, and Jessica wasn’t in the mood for the Mexican Inquisition.
“Sabrina, I can’t talk right now,” she said. “I need to . . . I need to feed my kitten.”
She did need to feed her kitten. He was lying next to her, looking at her expectantly. Suddenly, Jessica realized the cause of her dream and the soreness in her body. She’d slept without moving all night long, for fear of rolling over and crushing Guillermo’s gift. Apparently, she’d done a good job. Now she needed to get to the store and get some real kitten food, real cat litter, and a real litter box.
Before any of that, though, she had to get her sister off the phone.
“Sabrina, I have to go.”
“You need to get up and get dressed. We’re having lunch with Mami today.”
“What? Why?”
“To make plans for Father’s Day, babosa. Get up!”
After hanging up, Jessica rolled out of bed. Why hadn’t she remembered that Father’s Day was already next weekend? So much had been going on lately. She kissed the kitten good morning and set him on the floor.
She decided to shower, get dressed, then run to the store, come back, and get the kitten situated. She’d have just enough time to meet Sabrina and Mami for lunch.
It was annoying, Jessica thought as she shampooed her hair ten minutes later, the way Sabrina planned things without her and then expected her to show up with no advance notice at all. It was also annoying the way Mami always backed her up. If Jessica had called a family luncheon, she was sure Sabrina and her mother would be too busy to make it.
Was it because Sabrina was married now? Maybe Mami felt they had more in common. They were old married ladies now, while Jessica was a spinster, left out in the cold. Was that it?
Well, whatever. No big deal, Jessica thought as she rinsed the suds from her body. She wasn’t going to be a baby about it, she told herself as she got out of the shower and on with her day.
When Jessica arrived at Tía Miquela’s, the two of them were already there, talking and laughing over mimosas.
“You should cut it like mine,” Sabrina was saying. “And do a rinse over the gray. . . .”
Mami touched the long hair she had tied up in her usual bun. Jessica quickly walked over and took her seat. If their mother was thinking of getting a makeover, Jessica wanted to be there to give input. First, she’d start with not cutting Mami’s hair like Sabrina’s.
“I don’t know,” Mami said as if she’d read Jessica’s mind. “I’m not sure I can cut off that much of my hair.”
“Why not?” said Sabrina. “It’s so easy to take care of. You’ll love it.”
“Your father likes my hair long,” said their mother, staring down at the table, idly pushing a stray strand behind her ear. Then, suddenly, she looked up and announced, “You know what? I will cut it off. It’s not like he ever worries about what I want.”
Jessica was surprised at the vehemence in her mother’s voice. Sabrina smiled grimly and patted Mami on the shoulder. Then she turned to Jessica and said, “Okay, now that you’re here, let’s decide what to do for Father’s Day.”
Jessica didn’t respond to this until after she’d waved over the waiter and ordered some migas. The waiter was hot. She couldn’t help but notice that he looked a little like Guillermo. Not so much in the face, maybe, but in the way he sneaked an appreciative peek at her when he thought she wasn’t looking.
Mami and Sabrina noticed the waiter, too. They whispered something to each other that Jessica didn’t hear and then giggled. Jessica realized that she hadn’t heard her mother giggle in a long time. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d even seen Mami smile.
Sabrina cleared her throat and got back to the business at hand. “I was thinking we could go half on a new lawn mower.”
“A lawn mower?” said Jessica. “Papi doesn’t even like to mow the lawn.”
“Well, maybe if we got him a new mower, he’d start liking it more,” said Sabrina.
Mami rolled her eyes. “Sure. In my dreams!”
Sabrina giggled. “I’ll send David over to give him lessons.”
What was with her sister and the crappy gifts? Jessica wondered. She and her husband had gotten Mami a new washer for Mother’s Day. Then again, Mami had seemed to like that more than the salon gift certificate Jessica had bought her. But still . . . It was time to stand up for herself.
“I already had plans for what I was going to buy Papi,” she told her sister.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Sabrina said.
Unfortunately, Jessica didn’t actually have any ideas at all. Last year she’d gotten him a bottle of Patrón, and he’d said it was the best gift ever. But she couldn’t do that again. Not after the doctor had told him to cut back on the drinking. Jessica thought quick and hard. Maybe a box of cigars?
Sabrina went on, “Come on. Mami and Papi need stuff for the house, and David can get us a good deal on the mower. We’ll go ahead and pay for it, and you can reimburse me for your half later. We’ll give it to Papi after lunch at Bella Cucina.”
“Lunch? I thought we were having a barbecue with Grandpa and Uncle Juanito and everybody.”
“That’s in the evening,” said Sabrina. “David and I can’t go to that because we’re having dinner with his parents. So we’re taking Mami and Papi to lunch first. And you, too.”
Their mother nodded. “Jessica, if you can come to the house right after lunch, I need you to help me with the food.”
Why couldn’t Sabrina help, Jessica wondered, since she was the one making all the plans? While she tried to think of a way to rebel against her sister without going against her mother, the waiter brought her food. Mami and Sabrina changed the subject to new curtains, then to new dish-washers, then to Grandma Petra’s health and the latest happenings on Young Lives to Live. Then, unfortunately, the topic turned to Jessica.
“So, tell us how your date with Jonathan went,” Sabrina commanded.
“Who told you we went on a date?”
“A little bird. Are y’all going out again?” Sabrina prodded while Mami listened like a hawk.
Jessica did not want to have this conversation. Especially not in front of their mother, who picked that moment to chime in. She assumed Jonathan had mentioned their plans to David, and David had mentioned them to Sabrina. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep her relationship with Jonathan a secret. She just hadn’t planned on having to give her family the details on it so soon.
“Is this the one you were telling me about, Sabrina?” asked their mother. “David’s friend from work?”
“Uh-huh. The vice president with the blond hair and the Audi.”
“Jessica, I hope you aren’t going t
o do anything crazy to scare him away,” Mami said in a serious, concerned voice.
“What do you mean?” said Jessica.
“You know. Like talking smart to him. Being unladylike.”
“I’m just going to talk how I normally talk. If he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to go out with me.”
“See? Like that. Men don’t like it when you talk that way,” said Mami. Sabrina nodded her head solemnly.
“Mami, you talk smart to Papi all the time,” Jessica dared to point out.
Her mother frowned. “Well, that’s because your father needs someone to nag at him all the time. We’re not talking about him now. We’re talking about a good man, who’s worth marrying.”
Jessica was stunned into silence by these words. Sabrina looked down at the table and said nothing.
“M’ijita,” their mother continued, “I’m not trying to be mean. I’m telling you not to mess it up with this friend of your sister’s, because I want you to be happy.”
Sabrina cleared her throat again. “So, did he ask you out again or not?”
Jessica rolled her eyes. “Yes.” She decided she might as well admit it, if only to change the subject and keep her mother from bashing Papi anymore.
“Where’s he taking you?”
“To a club.”
“Ooh. Okay, you’ll have to call me and tell me what you’re going to wear.” Her sister sounded like a publicist. Or a pimp. “You want to be a little sexy, but not too sexy. You don’t want to scare him away.”
“Sabrina, I don’t even know how serious things are with this guy yet.” Jessica’s voice got a little loud. “I don’t need you sitting here making up ways for me to trap him.”
“Please, m’ija,” Mami said. “Your sister’s only trying to help. You should listen to her. Look how happy she is with David.”
Jessica glared at her sister through the rest of the meal. Why had Sabrina started up all this mess? It was obviously her fault that their mother was complaining about her own marriage so much now — because Sabrina wouldn’t stop bragging about hers, making Mami feel bad.
Sabrina didn’t notice Jessica’s pointed gaze. She was too busy telling Mami about her last Chic Chef party. Sabrina had been married to David for only a few years, and she didn’t have any children yet, but she’d already quit her job as Halronburco’s receptionist. She’d been “homemaking” ever since, plus selling kitchenware and cosmetics to her friends at those goofy little parties that Jessica never attended.
“. . . so it’s like I have a part-time job, but I still have time to have a life,” Sabrina was saying.
“Some life,” Jessica said into her mimosa. “Like I’d want to sit around selling Mary Kay until I popped out a baby.”
Sabrina stopped talking and stared at Jessica. So did their mother. There was a long moment where no one said anything at all, and Jessica wondered if maybe she should have kept that last remark to herself.
Then Sabrina replied, “Is that what I’m doing?” Her voice was light, but Jessica saw on her face that she was angry. And, more than that, hurt.
Jessica knew then that, no, she shouldn’t have made that remark. Instantly, she felt like a horrible person. Her mother’s cool stare didn’t help, either.
Back when they were kids, Jessica and Sabrina had been so much closer. Even though Sabrina had been bossy then, too. But there were also the times they’d gone roller-skating or played Barbies together in their room. Or when they’d get hold of the Sears catalog and flip through it for hours, picking out their favorite toys. And wedding rings, and china, and silver, Jessica remembered now. Sabrina had married Tuxedo Groom Ken. That left Jessica engaged to his brother, Earring Magic Ken.
Obviously, Sabrina still wanted that life for herself. And Jessica had just made fun of her for it. They all looked down at their plates in continued, awkward silence as Jessica wished she could reverse time and take back what she’d said.
“Sir,” Mami finally said, flagging down the waiter, “can we have our check, please?”
The funny thing was, Jessica thought as they gathered up their purses, she really did love her sister and was glad that Sabrina had the life she’d always dreamed of. It wasn’t Sabrina’s fault that Jessica had changed. The things she’d wanted when she was a child weren’t the things she wanted now. Why couldn’t Mami and Sabrina see that? And that it was okay? Why couldn’t they be satisfied with who she already was?
The most annoying thing was that she couldn’t even live her own life in peace. Whether she decided to move forward with Jonathan or not, it almost didn’t matter, because her mother and sister would be watching her every move in the background. It was as if they’d already planned her future and weren’t going to let her stray from their plan, no matter what she herself wanted.
As they stood to go, Jessica tried to smile at her sister. As upset as she was, she didn’t want Sabrina to go away with hurt feelings.
But it was too late. Sabrina turned away and didn’t look at her anymore.
23
Monday, after work, Jessica sped home to check on the kitten. Besides the fact that he’d knocked over his water bowl and chewed up the power cord to her laptop, he was fine.
Jessica picked him up and carried him around the apartment, hugging and pretending to scold him. “I should name you Little Brat,” she told him lovingly. He mewed as she kissed the top of his head. She wouldn’t name him that, she thought, but she did need to name him soon. Because she’d decided to keep him after all. Already she looked forward to seeing him every evening and cuddling with him at night.
The kitten sat on her desk and watched as Jessica made a few last minute changes to ALMA’s site for her meeting tonight. Sometimes he reached out a paw and batted at the keyboard with her. They’d been working only a few minutes when Jessica’s phone rang. She looked at the screen and saw that it was her mother.
“Hi, Mami.”
“Jessica. Have you talked to your sister yet?”
Jessica frowned. She already had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going. “Not since yesterday, at the restaurant. Why?”
“I don’t know if you noticed, but the things you said really hurt her feelings.”
Jessica decided to play dumb. “What things?”
Her mother gave the short, hard sigh that Jessica had heard so many times during her youth. “Don’t ‘what things’ me. You know — that thing you said about selling Mary Kay and pushing out babies. That was ugly, Jessica. I don’t know why you wanted to talk to your sister like that. I think you need to call her and apologize.”
Jessica sighed herself, feeling as though she’d been transported back in time. She was fourteen again, getting lectured for ruining something of Sabrina’s. As usual, her mother was taking Sabrina’s side, and Jessica wouldn’t get any sympathy until her father got home. “Mami, I was just kidding when I said that stuff. Sabrina knows that. You know, she’s not as sensitive as you think. You should hear some of the things she says to me when you’re not around.”
“That doesn’t matter,” her mother said. Her voice was very stern all of a sudden, as if Jessica had done something way worse than make a few callous remarks. “Your sister has a lot of stress in her life. You need to treat her better. M’ija, please call her and tell her you didn’t mean what you said.”
“Stress from what? Are she and David breaking up or something?” She’d said that flippantly, but Jessica immediately wished she hadn’t and knocked on the wood of her desk.
“No. Knock on wood!” Her mother, Jessica was sure, was rapping on a piece of her own furniture on the other end of the line. “Never mind. It’s just . . . sometimes married women go through problems. You wouldn’t understand.”
This finally annoyed Jessica to the point of no return. “Well, if I wouldn’t understand, then there’s no use in trying, so I won’t call her. I’m sure she’s already gotten over what I said anyway. And if she hasn’t, she needs to.” She felt a thrill o
f exhilaration for having said this aloud. When was the last time she’d back-talked her mother and gotten away with it? It’d been a long time. Jessica knew that in the end she would apologize to her mother and then apologize to Sabrina. But not so easily.
Through the receiver, she detected her mother’s tongue click of extreme annoyance and braced herself for a scathing reply. Instead, though, all Mami said was, “Ai, Jessica. Sometimes you’re so stubborn and inconsiderate. Just like your father!”
And then she hung up, leaving Jessica in complete confusion. What did her father have to do with anything?
Suddenly, her visit to her parents two weeks before flashed through her mind. They’d been arguing. Was Mami still mad at Papi after all this time? Was that what was really bothering her?
Glancing down at her computer screen, Jessica noticed the time. She couldn’t afford to sit here worrying about this; her ALMA meeting was starting in half an hour. She would have to call her mother back when she was done with that. Now it was time to pack up her laptop and go.
Fifteen minutes later, she drove through the multicolored shotgun shacks that were making way for posh town houses all around the old warehouses ALMA called home. Outside the arts center, kids stood around the lawn and its sculptures, waiting for classes or rides home. The front doors were a riot of flyers and posters for upcoming events. Jessica recognized several she’d made.
Inside, more kids milled throughout the wide lobby and its art exhibits. A teenage girl with a blue tattoo on her bared midriff sang scales in the doorway that led to the auditorium. A younger, plumper girl sat on one of the orange tweed couches and tuned a guitar. Three boys in T-shirts, shorts, and dress boots stomped out ballet folklórico steps that echoed on the industrial tile floor, fifteen feet up to the mobile-strung ceiling.
The receptionist was talking into the phone, writing out a receipt for an anxious-looking mother, and holding up her hand to a small boy who jumped up and down in front of her desk. She glanced over at Jessica and beckoned her in with a movement of her chin. Jessica waved thanks and crossed the lobby to the director’s office.
Houston, We Have a Problema Page 14