"That sturdy jaw and ful lips. And those eyes. A girl would kil for lashes like his."
"Grandma!" Marcia's squeak was close to her normal voice.
Marian shrugged. "He was cute. Stil is. Just goes to show that outward appearances can hide secrets."
"I thought we'd be married forever, that I'd grow old with hint like you and Grandpa."
"Humph." Marian sipped her tea.
Kate grinned. "She didn't mean you were old, Grandma, just that you and Grandpa have been through a lot—
and you're stil together."
"We have been through a lot." Marian's head fel back, and she stared at the ceiling, her eyes glazing over.
Kate waited, knowing her grandmother was reliving her past, Sometimes she'd resurface and tel them stories, fil ing in the gaps their mothers had left in their storytelling.
"Your grandfather and I have had our share of troubles." She picked up a cookie from the tea tray and held it between her fingers. Her worn wedding band winked in the afternoon sunlight. "We left each other a time or two." Her lips curved up in a reminiscent smile. "But never for long. And we always came back."
"This is different from an argument, Grandma."
Kate couldn't stand to hear the hurt in her cousin's voice.
"I realize that." Marian put her cup and saucer on the table. She took Marcia's hands in hers. "You have no choice, my dear. This can't be worked out with an apology and some flowers. You have to be strong, honey, watch him leave, and then tel your mother. She'll be upset but when she learns the reason, she'll be fine. She loves you. She wants you to be happy."
"I don't know if I'll ever be." Marcia's lips quivered. "I can't... I can't believe it's over. Seven years of marriage and I turn out to be his best friend."
Marian handed her the cookie she'd been holding, her usual method of consoling weeping grandchildren.
Marcia bit into it, more out of habit than conscious thought.
"You're making the right decision," Kate said softly. They had talked late into the night, tears flowing freely from both. She had brought her to Marian's house for tea, counting on their grandmother's wisdom and the routine of tea and cookies to give Marcia a sense of normalcy.
"He's moving away." Her words were muffled around the cookie.
Marian nodded. "Good. This town is too smal for him to survive once word gets out."
"I just don't understand how he could do this to you!" Kate's voice rose in the indignation she had shown when Marcia had first told her Owen wanted a divorce.
"He didn't know. He hoped I could change him, that maybe he wasn't...gay." Her voice staggered over the word.
Marian passed her a tissue to mop the streaming flow of tears. "If anyone could change a man, it would be you, Marcia."
One corner of Marcia's mouth turned up. "Thank you."
"She's right." Kate smiled at her cousin. Marcia had always been beautiful, inheriting her mother's golden curls instead of her father's red hair. Her skin was clear, without a single freckle or even a pimple, and the summer before she'd entered high school, she'd developed a figure that had every boy drooling.
"Wel , I guess that wasn't enough." She wiped her eyes and tossed the tissue into the trash can.
Kate hugged her. "I'm so sorry."
Marcia stood up, her sweater clinging to her curves, her jeans j molded to her hips. Kate was comfortable in her own body now, the teenage jealousy of her cousin a thing of the past, but she couldn't prevent a fleeting stab of satisfaction that her cousin's life wasn't picture-perfect.
"Maybe we're not meant to be married," Marcia said.
Kate frowned. "What?"
"You and Max. Me and Owen. Mom." Aunt Alice was dating yet another successful businessman with no sign of settling down. "Except for Aunt Margaret and Grandma, the women in our family haven't had much luck with love."
"My mom and dad were very happy together."
Marcia swooped down and gave her a big hug. "Oh, I didn't mean to bring up your dad. I'm sorry, Kate, I am."
Kate brushed away the tears clinging to her eyelashes. Even after al this time, she couldn't think of her broad-shouldered father, his eyes alight with laughter, without tearing up. She didn't know if it would ever get easier to accept that he was gone from their lives forever.
"Wel , I'm not giving up on happily-ever-after just yet." Kate was proud of how firm her voice sounded.
"I'm putting it on hold for a while." Marcia bent down and kissed Marian's cheek. "Thank you, Grandma, for listening. I'm going to Mom's house, while I stil have your courage inside me."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Kate wasn't sure she could handle another emotional scene, but her cousin had been there for her when Max broke off their engagement.
Marcia shook her head. "No. I can do this."
The front door closed softly behind her. "She'll leave, too," Marian said.
Kate swung around to face her grandmother. "No, she won't!"
Marian nodded. "Yes. She won't be able to handle the gossip. At least nurses are always in demand. She can go anywhere."
"It's so unfair. Her family's here, her friends." Kate vaulted to her feet and paced around the room. "I could just kil Owen. He told her he thought he was gay back in high school. He didn't want his father to find out. Poor Marcia." She sighed. "Poor Owen, too."
"She'll survive. You girls will both survive." Marian gathered up the tea things and Kate hurried to her side.
"We're strong women, Kate Sanders. Don't forget that. The women in this family have weathered a lot of trials.
You and Marcia will make it."
Kate fol owed her into the kitchen she had visited more times than she could count. As a little girl sitting quietly on the bench against the wal , she'd often listened to family stories—until someone noticed her and sent her out of the room. Now she was adding her own chapters.
"Maybe I should give up on men, Grandma." She ran soapy water in the sink and careful y washed a teacup before swishing it in the rinse water.
Marian chuckled. "Real y?" She took the cup and dried it with a flowered tea towel Kate had embroidered for her years before.
A warm glow spread through Kate at the ritual. The tea towels were only for drying the good china; Marian had declared al those Christmases ago that they were too pretty, too special, to be used for everyday drying. Kate had bloomed under her attention, her love.
She smiled at her grandmother and rinsed the third teacup. "Real y. And since I've already washed the cups, you can't read my tea leaves and predict a tal , dark and handsome man in my future. Women don't need a man to be complete anymore, Grandma. You said yourself we can make it on our own."
Marian deposited the last cup on the rack. "Perhaps. But you'll miss so much." She raised her eyebrows at Kate's sarcastic laugh. "Life is richer when you share it with someone."
She sat down in a kitchen chair, the towel caught between her hands. "I wasn't always so wise about this, Kate. I was stubborn, expected my own way a lot during the early days of our marriage."
Kate sat across from her grandmother. They were alone in the house for another hour, until Grandpa Frank closed the shop. A lot could be shared in an hour.
"My father—your great-grandpa—was strict, a minister in a smal town. When your grandpa came along, I assumed he knew al about having a good time. And I had to get out of that little town."
Her eyes had that faraway look again. "I don't know now if I loved your grandfather the way I should have when we married. If I had, I probably wouldn't have been so restless. I thought he should make me happy. I didn't realize I had to find my own path but that we could walk on it together."
She patted Kate's hand and stood up. Kate knew she was going into her bedroom, where she'd freshen her makeup before Frank came home. It was another ritual she'd observed over the years. "Thank goodness your grandpa stayed with me. We may have wasted some of our years together but now..." She kissed Kate's cheek. "Now my greatest wish is that
you and your cousin will experience the same happiness I shared with your grandfather"
Chapter 21
Lincoln, Iowa
September 1984
Kate strol ed around her friend's neatly furnished living room, pausing at the bookshelf to scan the tides. "Did you finish the book we're reading for book club?"
"No." Nancy's voice came from the smal bedroom. "We cannot let Barb pick any more tides. Her choices are always so dreary."
"They're supposed to enlighten us, make us smarter." Kate tapped the velvety leaf of an African violet on the middle shelf. "Schoolteachers like us need that, you know."
A snort of laughter answered her and she smiled. She'd met Nancy two years earlier, just after Marcia's departure from Lincoln. Nancy had been hired on at her elementary school, and they'd quickly discovered a common interest in books. Nancy had formed the book club they attended twice a month. The group was going to dinner tonight and then to a movie based on one of the earlier books they'd discussed.
The doorbel rang. "Would you get that, Kate?" Nancy cal ed from the bedroom. "I'm expecting a package and it was probably delivered to my neighbor."
Kate answered the door and stared at a dark-blue silk tie. Raising her head, she met the amused expression of a tal , slender man.
"Hel o."
She opened her mouth but nothing came out. Nancy had a neighbor who looked like this and she never mentioned him? She'd have to scold her when they were alone.
For now, she had to get her voice back. She swal owed. "Hel o," she squeaked. She made another attempt.
"Do you have Nancy's package? She's busy right now, but she asked me to take care of it."
"Nancy's expecting a package?"
She peeked at his hands, then wished she hadn't. Long, slender fingers with well-manicured nails. A gold watch—right side. No ring on his left hand.
And no package anywhere in sight.
She met his amused eyes again. Deep blue, with tiny flecks of brown. She had to tilt her head back to see his face, which was unusual. Except for her brothers, most men she met were either her height or a scant inch or so tal er.
"Was it my package, Kate?" Nancy came into the living room, adjusting her necklace as she walked.
"It wasn't a—" Kate began and was interrupted by Nancy's excited flight across the room.
"Ed!" Her normal y sedate friend launched herself into the man's arms. "I didn't know you were going to be in town!"
He slid his arms around her waist and spun them both in a slow circle. Kate watched with the first stirrings of jealousy.
"Quick trip. Had to go to Des Moines for business and finished early. Figured I'd run over and see if you were free for dinner."
Nancy wriggled out of his arms and stepped back, her fists on her hips."You came to Des Moines and you didn't let me know?"
"Spur of the moment, sis, don't get mad."
Sis. Kate blinked. The resemblance was there. The blue eyes, the golden-brown hair. Nancy wasn't tal but she did have a slender build.
She wasn't going to analyze the rush of relief she felt at knowing they were brother and sister. He didn't wear a ring but he was left- handed. Maybe the ring interfered with whatever business he did. The cut and style of his suit plainly said that his job paid wel . No scrimping and saving to have a monthly night out on the town.
"Oh, where are my manners?" Nancy dragged her brother over to Kate. "Kate, this is my rotten older brother, Ed Midgorden. Ed, this is Kate Sanders, a col eague and dear friend."
Her hand was engulfed in his. "I'm her only brother," Ed said. "So I am by turns her favorite, her rotten and sometimes her dearest relative." He gave Nancy a wide grin and Kate felt a shiver ripple through her.
"Ignore him, Kate." She frowned. "We have dinner plans, Ed. The book club's meeting and then going to a movie."
"What kind of movie?"
They both grinned at his suspicious tone. "It's a women's group," Kate said. "It's a romance."
"We read the book," Nancy said.
"I'll go to dinner, but then I have to leave." At Nancy's groan, he scooped her into another tight hug. "I could only stay for dinner, anyway, Nance. My plane leaves late tonight. I have to be back in New York for an early meeting tomorrow."
"Fine." She opened the closet and took out her coat, waiting for Ed to assist Kate with hers first. "But we expect you to pay for our dinner."
"Nancy!" Kate protested.
Nancy looped her arm through Ed's and then Kate's. "He can afford it, Kate. And we deserve it. Consider it his civic duty."
The group accepted Ed's presence with no complaints. Kate suspected it had as much to do with his appearance as their friendship with Nancy. He listened to the discussion about the book and upcoming movie with fortitude, only grimacing twice thai Kate could see. He steered the conversation in other directions after the food was served.
Now the members were considering the merits of a short list of books, trying to decide which would be next for discussion Kate voiced her opinion and then sat back. The group's more vocal members would have the final say. She didn't mind. She enjoyed the group for the camaraderie.
"Have you known Nancy long?" he asked a half hour later under cover of the conversation surging around them.
"Two years. When she transferred to our school. She's a very good teacher," she said loyally.
He smiled, a dimple appearing in his right cheek."She is. The best. From what I understand, she moved to Lincoln where they pay teachers more. Obviously you're also an excellent teacher, which is why they hired you."
She laughed. "You have no idea how I teach. You shouldn't make assumptions."
He brought a hand to his chest. "Thank you for that bit of warning. As a lawyer, I should know better than to take someone at face value."
A lawyer. And a successful one, based on the cut of his clothes, the style of his watch. "My guidance counselor wanted me to go to law school," Kate said. "But I wanted to help kids before they got in trouble, not afterward." She knew it sounded corny but he didn't laugh, just favored her with a pleasant smile.
She was soon tel ing him about the car accident that had claimed her father's life a few weeks before her col ege graduation. The decision to move back in with her mom and teach in Il inois until her brothers had finished high school. The relocation to Lincoln, so her mother could help Grandpa Frank with his shop.
"No boyfriends, no husband?" he queried lightly.
She shook her head, astonished at the information he'd gleaned with a few well-chosen questions. "You must be a very good lawyer," she said. "Almost as good as I am at teaching."
She grinned and he grinned back. "I do my best."
Nancy caught the last bit of their conversation. "He's wonderful, Kate. He'll be a partner before he's thirty-five."
"Ah, I'm back in her good graces." He glanced at his watch. "Listen, I hate to leave but I need to get to Des Moines to catch my flight." He rose from the table with that lithe grace Kate had noticed earlier. "Thanks for letting me crash your party. I had a great time."
He pecked Nancy on the cheek. "See you, squirt. Take care of yourself."
The questions started as soon as he left the restaurant. Kate didn't join in. His farewel had included al of them. Why had she expected anything special? He'd visited with her because of the seating, nothing more.
Besides, he lived in New York. She lived in Lincoln. She'd tried one long-distance relationship, with no good results.
The phone rang just as she was getting into bed. "Hel o?"
"Hi."
The voice was familiar and yet she couldn't place it. "May I help you?" she asked careful y. Her mother had dril ed into her at a young age what information could and could not be given over the phone.
The low chuckle alerted her. She sat up abruptly, the phone clenched to her ear. "Is this Ed?" she asked hesitantly.
"Wel , that's a blow. I thought you'd recognize my voice right away."
He had sounded f
amiliar but she decided not to tel him that and feed his ego. She'd spent several agonizing hours thinking she'd spil ed her guts to a polite stranger.
"Are you back in New York?" she asked.
"Yes. How was the movie?"
She talked about plot twists, he asked about characters, she told him how the movie differed from the book.
When there was a lul in conversation, she glanced at the clock. "Ed, it's almost one o'clock here! Does that mean it's two o'clock at your end?"
"Must be."
"Then we need to say good-night."
"Is that your schoolteacher voice?"
She'd purposely been firm. But she never stayed up this late. And she suspected that once she hung up, she'd find it hard to get to sleep.
"It's late," she said, refusing to answer his question.
"I agree. May I cal you again?"
Her heart skipped. A long-distance relationship? her brain asked But he's so easy to talk to, he listens and asks insightful questions, her heart countered. He's a lawyer, it's his training, her brain replied.
The two-way argument pounded in her head. "Yes." Her brain won enough rounds. This time, her heart had the last word.
*****
October 1984
Nancy plucked her copies from the machine and stepped aside so Kate could slide in her originals. "Next time you talk to Ed, tel him we're going to Erica's for Thanksgiving."
She knew from her conversations with Ed that the third sibling lived in Lawrence, Kansas, with her husband and two daughters. Their parents were in Kansas City and Ed said they al visited as much as possible. His one regret about working in New York was that he couldn't be a regular part of the family gatherings. At least there were direct flights from New York to Kansas City.
"Don't you talk to him?" The copy machine hummed next to her, spitting out copy after copy.
"Not much. He's either busy with work or talking to you." Nancy pushed her pages under the electric stapler.
"Not that I mind. He's always worked too hard. I'm glad he's final y taking some personal time."
Tessa McDermid - Family Stories Page 22