by JF Jenkins
"I feel the same way. Things have been good these few days but I still miss you. I know you've wanted this though."
"Wanted what?"
"Time for yourself." She bit back her tears. She had caught the occasional thought from him, expressing joy in having a bit of freedom. Those thoughts were part of the reason she had been so worried to begin with. "Why didn't you say something?"
"Can we talk about this when I get home?" She heard him yawn. "I'm not quite ready to have this conversation."
You're copping out. "I don't have much of a choice. I can't make you talk if you don't want to." She made no effort to hide how much it hurt her.
I'm just not ready. He sighed. "You always have a choice. I'd just appreciate doing this in person."
"Then I'll let you go. I'm tired anyway. Thank you for calling. I mean that."
"I'll call again soon, and earlier. I promise."
She closed her eyes, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over her. He can talk to me about everything else, but not the thing that's most important? She didn't get it, and she was too tired to keeping fighting him on the matter. "All right, have a good day then."
"Sleep well. Kat, I...."
"Hmm?"
"I'll call you first thing in the morning." I'll try finding the words by then.
Chapter Twenty
The council lasted for a week. Jason did his best to pay attention, but a lot of the terminology went over his head. People-watching was fascinating. He got a lot more out of watching the Dragon Lords interacting with one another than he did out of actually listening. For instance, he noticed how the Oceina Lord was by far the most relaxed of all four Great Lords. Even when discussing things like the Inero plague and the Terran natural disasters, he sat with his hands folded in front of him, listening to every word spoken. The Aero lord, on the other hand, looked bored. He slouched, resting his head in his hand. Every so often, he perked up if something interesting was being said or something involved him, but for the most part he was silent. These were small mannerisms, but they said a lot about the Lords.
Jason watched the rest of the audience as well, most specifically his brother. While most of the young men were doodling or whispering to one another, Matt sat completely engrossed in everything going on. It didn't surprise Jason, as his brother had always been interested in politics. In fact, his dream was to one day be chosen as their father's successor. He'd mentioned it to Jason on more than one occasion. It would happen, Jason was sure of it. The two were too close and his brother was far too invested in the life of a politician not to be involved as an important figure. Whether or not Matt would be a good leader was another story. He was good at heart, but that didn't always translate into good leadership.
Matt scribbled some notes furiously, but his handwriting was far from legible. Jason could only make out a handful of words. Oceina was one. He saw the huge O first and figured out the rest of the letters from there. 'Terran deal' was another phrase he was able to pick out. 'How to win?' was another. In fact, Jason saw several question marks on the page.
"What?" Matt whispered once he finally caught Jason checking out his paper. He shielded his notebook and scowled.
I was only curious. Jason shrugged and returned his gaze to the Lords.
You don't like when I read over your shoulder when I'm curious.
Sorry.
Matt sighed, his body relaxing. If you're bored, there's a game some of the other brothers play involving hand signals. Do that. Now if you'll excuse me, I actually want to listen.
Jason frowned. Whatever Matt had written was something he didn't want anyone else seeing. He'd never cared before about anyone reading over his shoulder. Jason pulled out his own notebook, found a page in the middle, and started to write down his own questions. In his own messy script he scribbled out: What is going on?
Chapter Twenty-One
Jason was gone for a week, and Gwen found plenty of activities to keep herself occupied. She'd left home over a month ago but the whole situation was still surreal. Some days she'd wake up and miss home so much she'd want to cry. The only thing stopping her was Navi. If she cried in front of her, then she'd be asked a lot of questions. The less she thought about home, the easier it was. She didn't want to talk about it and dig up all of the happiness. Her life on the farm didn't matter anymore. She'd never been good at talking about her feelings anyway. Adapting to this new life was the best thing for her to do, and she was getting better at it every day, even with out Jason's help.
Just before the sun came up, Jason shook her awake. She jumped then frowned.
"It's only me," he said, laughing.
"I didn't think you'd be back until later."
He shrugged. "We had a good current, or so I'm told. I don't understand how flying works."
She closed her eyes, snuggling back into her pillow. She turned to lie on her side facing him. "You had to wake me up? You couldn't let me sleep in?"
"No, I couldn't. Get up and get dressed."
"It's still dark out."
"Is it? I couldn't tell."
She groaned. "It's too early for sarcasm."
He moved away from the bedside then headed out of her room. "No such thing. Please hurry, this is important."
With a sigh, she dragged herself out of bed. It didn't take long to get ready. She threw on the first outfit she found in her dresser, ran a brush through her hair before pulling it out of her face, and didn't bother to put on any make up. He wasn't allowed to see her look cute today. She found him in the kitchen with a backpack and a thermos.
"Get your shoes on," he said. She did so, making sure he saw her eyes rolling. It didn't seem to bother him much because he smirked. "I forgot that you're not a morning person."
"It's dark out. I wouldn't consider this morning," she said. Once her shoes were on, she placed her hands on her hips. "What's this about?"
"I can't tell you here. That would defeat the purpose of leaving the house," he explained. He offered her his hand. "It's only a short walk, I promise."
Gwen took his hand. He had yet to let her down, so she had no reason to deny him her trust. Despite everything she'd been through, he hadn't lied to her. In fact, he'd been nothing but patient and accommodating to her needs. She owed him the occasional benefit of the doubt.
They walked for ten minutes, deeper into the city, and came upon a park. It wasn't big by any means. All it consisted of was a bench overlooking a tiny storm pond. She didn't understand what was worth seeing here.
The smell of coffee filled the air as he spun off the cap to the thermos. Inside the backpack were two mugs, bagels with cream cheese, and oranges. There was a separate thermos as well. He handed her a mug and a teabag silently, poured some hot water for her, then handed her a bottle of cream.
"Is that everything you need?" he asked.
She nodded, taking a sip once she had her black tea just the way she liked it. "So what's this about?"
"I wanted to be able to talk with you freely. I'm not sure how much longer we can do that at the house. My father is the type of man to bug homes and he has spies everywhere."
"Navi and I were able to talk about things he'd probably rather not hear," she pointed out. "At least in terms of their relationship."
He shrugged. "She knows what she's doing. This is a lot more important than a shallow marriage though." He stopped. She waited with raised eyebrows for him to continue. He took a long sip of his black coffee.
"What was life like on your farm?" he asked.
Gwen couldn't help but laugh. "I can't talk about my life on the farm. Won't we be arrested and executed by my telling you the secrets of milking cows?"
"Let me rephrase my question," he said after another sip. "Were you treated well? Did you have enough to eat? Did the army come through by chance and do anything you'd consider odd?"
She glanced at him over her tea mug, unsure of what to think of his question. "My parents treated me wonderfully."
"I didn't
mean to imply—"
"And they made sure I was well taken care of," she continued. "The ratio of how our produce was divided changed. Less went to our town and more towards the city. As a whole, the members of the town decided it best to start offering new kinds of payment in exchange for services. They're good people."
He pulled out an orange, cutting the rind with his large, black claws with ease. "Yes, I know. I can tell because you are a good person. Let me explain what I found out at the council. The Nation of Inero is in a famine, according to the reports my father has put in. In the city, I haven't seen anything out of the ordinary. I wanted to know if it was true out in the country."
Gwen shook her head. "We haven't experienced a poor season for a long time. Your father is lying."
"I thought as much." Jason sighed, his attention focusing on the orange. He peeled off the rind, tossing it to the ground for the animals to take, before splitting the orange in half. He offered her a portion, which she gladly took.
"Why would he lie?"
"Because he's trying to put on a show for the other tribes. He wants to distract them from the truth."
"And that is?"
"That the increased portions going to the city were bribes to his military officials. He's buying them so they will not question his motives for wanting to go to war. That's the only logical explanation I can think of."
She ate a wedge of the fruit and frowned. "Is there a reason to go to war?"
"That's the part I haven't figured out yet," he said softly. "Now do you understand why we couldn't talk at home?"
She nodded, her face grave.
"I picked now because the city is quiet, everyone is still sleeping. Should we happen to be spied on, this will look like a date. Especially in about five minutes when the sun rises."
"A date? I didn't think you were interested in those."
"I'm not," he said perhaps a little too quickly. "But I still have to act like I'm trying."
Or they'll take me away. She shivered, instinctively snuggling closer into his arms for warmth and comfort. He was the only person who could keep her safe. Certainly Navi would try, but she wouldn't be as successful as Jason. Being one of the dragons gave him a different kind of power, even if Navi was the Great Lord's preferred bed companion.
No doubt he'd think her random cuddling was part of the act. Slowly, he moved an arm around her. She felt as though he genuinely wanted to hold her. His body was relaxed and welcoming, much different than some of the stiff and forced affections he'd given her in the past.
"The year will be here before you know it," she said at last. "I know what has to happen. Navi told me. Maybe we should arrange for a moment and get that out of the way sooner rather than later."
"You don't really want me to sleep with you," he snorted. "I told her not to tell you."
"Why hide it from me?"
"Because I knew you'd either freak out or proposition me and I don't want you to worry about it." He moved his face closer to hers, resting his head on her shoulder. "We have a lot of time. It's only been a month. Let's not do something rash because we're afraid."
"Are you scared?"
"In a way, yes."
She watched his face. He gazed straight ahead, his eyes narrowing. She grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at her, then said,
"I want you to listen carefully to me. If push comes to shove and there is no other way out, I want you to do what is necessary to keep me with you. You've proven you will be good to me. Whether we love each other or not, I'd rather it be you than someone else."
He averted his gaze down to the bench. "I'd rather it not come to that."
"I doubt it will," she said, placing a grateful kiss on his forehead, hoping it helped reassure his fears. "Thank you for being so concerned for my welfare. Don't keep things from me anymore. Two heads are better than one."
"I'll try my best to remember. Usually, I have my brother, but he's preoccupied at the moment." She sensed bitterness in his tone. "I need you to keep your eyes and ears open for me. You know how much the wives love to gossip. Especially Kat, she's chatty."
Gwen had noticed but held her tongue. She doubted he'd like her negative perceptions. Instead, she nodded.
He pointed slightly left of them. "Good, now I want you to turn and look east."
There was a small gap amongst the short, glass buildings where she could see the castle towering over them. The sun was starting to rise. Her breath caught in her throat as the light hit the buildings. They reflected an orange glow as though they were on fire. The metal trimming on the castle also lit up with a blinding orange light. She'd never seen anything like it before.
She couldn't take her eyes off of it. Jason also watched, unblinking and drawing her closer, his arms enveloping her. She started to wonder how she had ever made it through life without him.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Matt wasn't looking forward to going back home. Yes, he wanted to see Kat, but he didn't want to have the conversation that he'd been putting off repeatedly while he was away. He didn't know what to say to her. How is it possible for a person to love someone so much and at the same time not be able to stand them?
Welcome to marriage, Jason said.
Matt ignored his brother, working on making sure the rest of his thoughts were completely blocked from everyone. He needed to think on his own.
Kat was sitting on a chair doing her nails when he walked into their suite. She glanced up at him but otherwise didn't react. Not the welcome he had expected from her.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on now?" she asked.
"I needed some space," he said.
"You could have said so instead of making me paranoid."
He rolled his eyes and sat down on the bed. He felt tired. Even though he'd been sitting for a long time, the cushioning felt nice on his sore backside.
"I don't appreciate you rolling your eyes at my feelings either," she continued.
He almost did it again, but he held back because he didn't have the energy for a blowout. If he wasn't careful, this fight would lead to one. For the most part Kat was well tempered, but she'd been irritated a lot lately and it frustrated him.
"Well?" she asked.
"Well, what? I don't know what you want me to say."
"An apology is a good start."
"Fine, I'm sorry you feel so paranoid and moody that you're taking it out on me."
Her jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"
"Why are you being like this?" He glared at her from across the room, wanting to understand what was going on inside her head.
"Being like what?"
"Paranoid and moody."
"I'm not being—"
He released a groan. "Your thoughts and clingy behavior suggest otherwise. I know I'm not the best at this, but talk to me here. What's going on?"
Kat burst into tears. That was the last thing he expected from her. She'd been through a lot of things at home with her parents, and he could count on one hand the amount of times she'd cried about them. He hated seeing it. And he hated being the cause of it even more.
After a moment of doing nothing but sobbing, she put her head in her hands. "I don't know what's wrong with me. All I feel is sick all of the time and I miss you. I'm trying so hard to not let things bother me, but you don't know what it's like. Most of the days I spend my time listening to the other women talk about how they've been discarded by their men. Every day more of them are being forgotten. They're giving up so fast."
"I told you relationships here are fragile. Remember? But we love each other, which is so much more than any of them can say. I'm still here because I love you." He leaned on his knees and pinched his nose. Why doesn't she understand? Are all women like this?
"And I'm scared because I love you so much I don't want to lose you."
"All I'm asking you for is some of my own space."
"And all I'm asking you is to communicate with me before doing everything in your power to avoid me
."
"Fine."
"Fine!"
He frowned. "Why are you still not feeling well?"
"The transition, I guess. You said it wouldn't go well," she said, rubbing her arms.
He bit his lip. "It shouldn't take this long either," he said, wondering what else could be wrong. Unless his magic was so strong it would take longer for her than it did for most? Anything was possible at this point. He was about to get up and hold her in his arms when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket. On it was a message from his father. 'We can talk now.'
"Bad timing, Dad," he mumbled. He stood up and walked over to her, giving her a small kiss on her forehead. "I have one more meeting. I won't let it take long. I'll be back soon, promise. Please remember that I love you. I'll do better at telling you things. Don't give up on me if it doesn't happen right away. We can't give up on each other or this will never work. I don't want to be like everyone else any more than you do."
She sighed, closing her eyes. He watched as tears fell down her cheeks again. "Try not to be gone for too long. I'm terrified. You're right, I'm not myself."
"We'll figure this out," he said, kissing her on the lips. His anger faded into worry. She clung to his shirt as he pulled away. He trailed a hand through her hair. I promise I won't be longer than a couple of hours. She only nodded. He hated walking out the door with her in such a state, but he couldn't say no to his father. Besides, his father might know what was wrong with her.
He ran through the halls, thankful no one else was around to see him as he went. Matt didn't want to be the center of the gossip again. That happened more often than he would like.
Knocking on his father's door, he leaned against the frame to catch his breath. Navi greeted him at the door just as he finished smoothing his hair. She wore a slinky, silk robe and silently waved him into the suite before disappearing into another room. Lynx sat on the couch in the den, spinning a pen in his fingers and wearing sleep clothes. Matt shifted in discomfort. He'd seen his father in informal settings before but not quite like this.