by Cali MacKay
“I’ll grab my laptop on the way out, but other than that, I’m ready. But just so we’re clear, Keane—this does not mean I’m sleeping with you. And it does not mean you’re forgiven.”
Even after all the years that had passed, he could see how badly his betrayal had hurt her—and it gutted him.
“It kills me that I hurt you, Lilly—but I’m no longer that idiot of a man. And I’m going to do everything in my power to prove it to you. But first, I need to make sure you’re safe.” She looked at him as if she was wary of believing him, and that was fine—for now. He’d have plenty of time to gain her trust once more. Hefting her bags for her, he tilted his chin toward the door. “Grab your laptop. Make sure the GPS and Wi-Fi are turned off, and then yank the battery if you can. If not, power it down. Anything else you need or may have forgotten, we can either pick up, or I’ll come back for it later.”
“Keane…” She paused for a second at the door, as if to say something more, but he knew what she needed.
“I promise you…it’ll be okay. I’ve got you, Lilly.”
***
Keane took extra care to make sure they weren’t followed to his home, taking quiet roads to ensure there was no one behind them, and even doing a quick check of his car to make sure that it hadn’t been tagged with a GPS tracker. He wasn’t sure what this guy, Sirius, was capable of, or how knowledgeable he was, but Keane was trying to make sure he covered all possibilities.
He waited for the gates outside his home to slide open and then pulled down the long drive, secretly hoping Lilly liked his home as much as he did. It’d been a bit of a splurge, but he’d figured he had the money after he and his siblings had inherited a sizeable amount of money, and he also had a steady income coming in since he’d wisely invested in his brother’s company.
Lilly’s eyes went wide as they pulled in front of the stately manor that looked more like it belonged in the Scottish Highlands than on the coast of New England. “Wow, Keane…I guess you’ve done quite well for yourself.”
He may have been an ass when he was younger, but he’d always taken his studies and future seriously. He was a motivated man—and not just when it came to Lilly. “Did you ever have any doubt?”
“No, I suppose I didn’t.” She pursed her lips as if in resignation. “You were never a slacker, just—”
“A cheating ass.” He knew it was what she was thinking, even if she might not say it.
“I was going to say an inconsiderate bastard, but your version works too.” She gave him a matter-of-fact smile, and hopped out before he had the chance to get her door.
Grabbing her bags, he let them into his home, where they were greeted by his Lab-Border Collie mix, Juno, who was doing a full body wiggle with excitement. Lilly pet her, and then crouched down in front of the happy pup so she could give her more attention. “I can’t believe it, Keane—it’s Juno, isn’t it?”
“It is. She’s got a bit of grey going, but she still has a good amount of puppy in her, even if she no longer chews on everything in sight.” As soon as he’d been able to move off campus, he’d gone to the shelter, and had immediately known Juno was his dog. She’d been two at the time, which now put her at nine years old. Once he and Lilly started dating, Lilly had fallen in love with her.
“I’ve been desperately wanting a dog or cat, but I travel too much throughout the year. It just doesn’t seem fair to them.” Lilly stood back up and shifted her laptop bag and purse back onto her shoulder.
If she didn’t have someone at home to watch any pets, it meant that she’d been single—or if she had been dating anyone, it hadn’t been anything serious or long-term. “Well, Juno’s happy to have you back—as am I. Come on…your room’s this way.”
He was suddenly wishing he had a one-bedroom home—with no sofa.
“Again…I’m impressed, Keane. This bedroom’s nicer than most of the hotels I’m usually stuck staying in.” She put her bags down in a corner as he followed suit and set aside her piece of luggage, Juno happily following them in, and making herself at home. “I suppose you’ve kept busy these last several years.”
“I have. You remember my brother Marshall, right? Well, he started his own company, so I’ve been helping him with that.” His entire family had loved Lilly. She and Wyatt, along with their sister, Paige, were great friends, until he’d gone and fucked things up.
“I saw that Paige’s back home from San Francisco—though I haven’t had a chance to see her yet.” She bit her lip, as if not quite sure what more to say. After their breakup, his siblings had felt torn with their loyalties—and he had no doubt it’d also been hard on Lilly, since they’d be a constant reminder of him. “And Wyatt? Is he still in Dublin?”
“He’s back and forth a lot. Still asks about you, you know.” Wyatt had been the one who’d introduced them, having met Lilly in several of the classes they shared. But enough about his family. “You’ve yet to say…what exactly do you do these days?”
It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to find out with a Google search, but he’d come up empty each and every time. Come to think of it…she’d never given him her web address, either.
“Why do you want to know?” Her eyes narrowed at him. She was clearly once again avoiding the subject.
“What is it you don’t want me to know, Lilly?” He refused to think of her doing anything tawdry, like being a stripper, but something was definitely up. “You might as well spill, since I’m going to have to go to your website to try to track this stalker of yours anyway.”
“I swear, you’re a pain in the ass, Keane.” Letting out an annoyed huff, she glared at him, though he swore it only made him want to kiss her, even if that would likely get him slapped. “If you must know, I’m a writer.”
“A writer?” Now that wasn’t something he expected, given that she’d been an engineering major. “What kind of writing?”
“The kind you don’t read.”
Chapter 5
Lilly hated that Keane was leaving her frazzled. And it sure as hell didn’t help that having him in such close proximity was making it hard for her to forget the sort of heat and passion they’d once shared. She might be keeping him at arm’s length, but how long could she keep that up? And now that they’d be under the same roof? She didn’t stand a chance.
“What kind of books, baby girl?” He flicked his eyebrows up, looking far too amused for anything good to come of it. “You know I’m an avid reader. I’ll admit there are a few genres I don’t normally pick up, though those aren’t many. Have I read your stuff?”
“How the hell would I know? Do I look like a mind-reader or like I’m packing a crystal ball?” When he reached out for her with a mischievous smile, she sidestepped him, knowing just how dangerous it’d be to let him get his hands on her.
“Sweet thing…” His smile widened, making her want to slap him silly. “Are you writing porn?”
“Not porn—erotica.” What the hell…she’d already told him the worst of it, and it seemed like there was little chance of avoiding it, especially if he was going to help her with her stalker. “Though I primarily write romances.”
“Babe…I’ve got to say, that makes me want you all the more.” He easily blocked the slap to his arm, his smile only widening. “So, when do I get to read one of your books?”
“Never.” The last thing she needed was for him to start reading her novels, especially since they weren’t only explicitly racy, but she also poured her heart and soul into every one of them. All the heartache he’d caused, all her hopes and dreams, all her desires…they were what fueled her stories. And though it was all fiction, she still left a piece of herself on each and every page, and the mere thought of him seeing that left her feeling vulnerable and exposed, especially when he’d broken her heart.
He must have realized that she was no longer amused, because his smile was replaced by concern, as he gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Lilly…I know I’m the cause of your pain, but…I need
you to know that I meant what I said last night. I still love you and I’m going to do all I can to get you to forgive me. Not being with you is no longer an option.”
She pulled her hand free and glared at him, her heart hammering inside her chest. “Well, I’m glad I get a say in all this.”
He just gave her a matter-of-fact shrug, as if he’d already won. “I’d only be lying if I said you did.”
“Is that so?” How could a single man be so infuriating?
“It is.” He closed the distance between them, and though she held her ground, he was only a breath away, making it impossible for her body not to react to his proximity. And when his lips curled into a contented smile, she knew he’d seen the sort of effect he had on her. Curse him. “Get settled, baby girl. And in the meantime, I’m going to make a few phone calls, so we can try to get to the bottom of this and find out who’s stalking you.”
And just like that, he walked away, leaving her rattled, frustrated, and desperately wanting him.
***
“I’m not sure what the police are doing to find your stalker, but I’ve hired a security firm to help. I’ve worked with them before and they’ll be able to coordinate with the cops on their investigation and hopefully offer them the manpower and services they’ll need to get to the bottom of this.” Keane handed her a plate so she could grab a few slices of the pizza he’d ordered in. Even Juno was expectantly waiting for a piece of crust. “I’ve got beer, wine, hard cider, iced tea, and lemonade.”
“Hard cider, please.” She flipped open the box, and her heart hitched. Hamburger and onion pizza was her favorite. When she turned back to Keane, he not only handed her a bottle of cider, but the bottle of hot sauce as well, which she always had to have with her pizza. “I can’t believe you remembered.”
“It’s not exactly hard to forget since it’s my favorite, too—hot sauce included.” He set down his beer and grabbed a couple of slices, before dousing them in hot sauce.
“Since when?” He’d always liked his pizza heavily covered in artery-clogging meats—and he used to always tease her about her hot sauce habit.
“Since I broke your heart seven years ago.” He looked so forlorn, it was starting to weaken her defenses.
“Your idea of penance?” She shook her head with a bit of a laugh, though he was still looking serious.
“No…it was just one more way to keep you in my life after you’d gone.” But before she could say anything, he grabbed his plate and beer and headed into the great room.
She wanted to groan. Grabbing her food and drink, she followed him. “That’s not fair, you know. Because you’re making it sound like I was the one who left when you know damn well that wasn’t the case. You were the one who killed what we had, Keane. Not me.”
“Do you think I don’t know that I fucked up? Well, I do—because every day, I have to live with the fact that you’re not in my life…that you’re not in my bed. And it fucking sucks, Lilly.” He cursed under his breath, setting down his plate and beer with just a little too much force before turning back to face her. “I may have been the one who killed our relationship, but it doesn’t mean I don’t mourn it.”
Why the hell did she feel like a bitch? She knew she’d been lashing out at him since he showed back up in her life, her hurt still too raw despite the years. But she supposed she hadn’t counted on him hurting too. “I don’t know what to do with that, Keane.”
“I know, love.” When he cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb over her skin, she couldn’t help it when her eyes fluttered shut. And when he sweetly kissed her, catching her lips with his as she fought an onslaught of memories, she let him, even as tears stung her eyes.
When she finally found the strength to pull away from him, she was grateful that he let her go, her emotions and years of pent-up anger and hurt just too much for her to contend with. She sat down, and forced her tears to stop before they had a chance to escape, though her eyes still burned, and she was sure they were red.
He sat down next to her, and flicked on the TV as she forced herself to eat, still starving even if she was upset enough to have lost most of her appetite. Luckily, after a few bites, her nerves finally settled enough that she could enjoy her meal. “This is really good, Keane. And thanks…for all the help with this mess of mine.”
She was well aware that he was putting himself in potential danger, depending on how psychotic this guy was. Keane knew it too, yet he’d still insisted on helping her.
“Anytime, Lilly.” He gave her a quick one-armed hug and kissed her temple, before settling back with his meal and flicking through the menu options until he came to a list of movies.
“I know what you’re doing, Keane.” Of course she did. She wrote romances for a living. “You’re thinking that if you keep up the small kisses, touches, hugs, that my anger with you will thaw enough that you can then step it up to longer kisses, longer touches, and eventually it’ll end with me in your bed, naked.”
“Screaming my name, I hope.” He gave her a wink and tossed the crust to Juno, who caught it out of the air.
“Real funny.” She gave him a sarcastic glare. Even though she knew what he was doing, she could already feel it working on her, easing her hurt and anger with him. Bastard. And the fact that he also seemed to have suffered from their breakup only made her feel guilty for continuing to add to his hurt by pushing him away. “Well, just so you know, this little ploy of yours isn’t going to work.”
“Baby girl, it already is.” With a seductive smile, he cranked up the charm so he looked devastatingly gorgeous. “And I, for one, am glad for it, since I hate that we’ve been at such odds. I know the circumstances for getting back together could be better, but fuck…I’ll take what I can get.”
“No, Keane—let me just stop you there. We are not getting back together. Having my heart broken by you once was more than enough for me, and I don’t plan on being stupid enough to let it happen again.” She put up her hand to stop him when he started to protest. “It’s been impossible to avoid the tabloids—and I’ve seen the slew of women you’ve been with. It’s never the same one more than twice, so if you think I’m going to just add myself back on that list of women you fuck and discard, you can guess again.”
“First of all, those women know exactly where we stand right from the start—and believe me, they’re fine with it. But the reason there’s never been anything long-term with any of them is for the simple fact that they’re not you. They’re not you, Lilly. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved—and fuck, you’re the only one I’ll ever love. There will only ever be you.” He shook his head in frustration. “Don’t you think it’d be easier for me to move on if I could? Well, it’d fucking be a breeze compared to what I’ve been through. But I can’t move on—and I can’t get over you.”
“That’s some speech, Keane.” She couldn’t let her guard down—and it’d be far too easy to do just that. Far too easy to let him woo her or make her feel sorry for him. Far too easy to fall for him again and get her heart broken. She couldn’t leave herself vulnerable like that again, the consequences far too great.
“And I know what you’re doing—though I get it. You’re scared of getting hurt, scared you’ll fall for me again, so you’re keeping your walls up and trying to push me away. But this thing between us is undeniable, and staying away from each other just isn’t an option.” He gave her hand a squeeze, his touch warm and comforting—and safe, which was something she’d been lacking for a very long time.
Although her heart may still be at risk, it felt good to know she was no longer dealing with this scare on her own. Keane may be a lot of things, but she knew he wouldn’t let her come to physical harm, and that counted for a lot.
“You’re a damned stubborn man, Keane.” There was no point in telling him they couldn’t have a future together, since she knew it’d just make him all the more determined, and she was having a hard enough time keeping him at arm’s length already. But she didn’t tr
ust him not to cheat on her again—and with no trust, there could be no relationship.
“I prefer determined.” He sat back and bumped his shoulder with hers, before picking up his plate and biting into his pizza. “Pick a movie, love. Or I’ll be tempted to find other ways to keep us entertained.”
Of that she had no doubt.
Chapter 6
After a quick breakfast, Keane typed in Lilly’s web address, doing his best to suppress a smile—until she slapped his arm. “What?”
Lilly glared at him. “You’re already smirking and you haven’t even gotten to the site.”
At which point he hit the Enter key.
“Wow, Ms. Piper Skye…that is one sexy website.” Two near naked bodies twined as one against a charcoal-grey rain-splashed background. Never in a million years would he have imagined this was Lilly. “And a NY Times bestseller, no less. How the hell did I not know about this?”
“That’s the whole point of a pen name, Keane.” Was that a blush flaming across her cheeks? Fucking hell, she looked gorgeous. “Right there… If you click over to that page on my site, you’ll come to my email contact. That service forwards the email on to me, and also allows for readers to sign up for my newsletter. That’s how he contacted me.”
“Do the forwarded emails retain the sender’s address?” They’d have to find a way to track this man down.
She let out a deep breath, and shifted at his side, leaning in to see what he was doing. “They do, though I don’t know of any way to track him down with just his email address.”
He clicked on her contact page, which was pretty basic, and then clicked through the rest of the pages on her site. Each of her series had a dedicated page, and there had to be over twenty-five books in total, each cover and title steamier than the one before. When he clicked on her bio page, his gaze immediately was drawn to the image of her looking sexy and approachable. She looked like she was smiling just for him, and it had his cock immediately going hard. No wonder Sirius was obsessed with her, when her sultry look could make anyone feel like they were the only one who mattered to her.