8. Place the tree in the stand to test the height.
If it is still too tall, remove more of the trunk, always above the next set of whorl branches.
9. Move the stand and the tree to the desired location.
Secure the tree in the stand, ensuring that the tree is perfectly straight. Then gently rock the tree back and forth to check the stability of the stand. Turn the tree so that any gaps between branches face the wall. Fill the stand with water.
IF IT IS TOO WIDE FOR THE STAND
1. Measure the diameter of the stand and the diameter of the tree.
2. Incrementally taper the trunk until it fits the stand.
Use a bow saw to remove strips of bark and trunk, cutting parallel to the trunk. Remove equal amounts from all sides of the tree.
Be Aware
Do not attempt to use an electric carving knife to taper the trunk.
HOW TO PREVENT A TREE FROM TOPPLING OVER
HOW TO MAKE AN UNTIPPABLE TREE STAND
1. Obtain 6-inch diameter PVC pipe and cut it to 15 inches long.
2. Stand the pipe in the center of an empty 5-gallon plastic bucket.
3. Fill the bucket, around the pipe, with sand.
4. Place the tree in the pipe.
The trunk should be free of branches on the bottom 15 inches. (See “If It Is Too Wide for the Stand”, for trimming instructions.)
5. Secure the tree in the pipe with small wedges of wood.
Cut the wedges out of branches you removed earlier. Set them around the trunk at the opening of the pipe to hold it in place.
6. Fill the pipe with water.
Water may leak from the bottom of the pipe into the sand. Monitor the water level to ensure the tree stays moist. This stand will hold a 9-foot tree. Use a larger bucket and a longer pipe for a bigger tree.
HOW TO MAKE A CEILING GUY WIRE
1. Tie metal picture wire or heavyweight fishing line to the top of the tree.
Tie a short length of wire to the main trunk, just below the top of the tree.
2. Screw a hook into the ceiling directly above the tree.
3. Thread the wire through the ceiling hook and pull taut.
4. Knot the line securely.
HOW TO MAKE WALL GUY WIRES
Secure two wires to the trunk a third of the way down the tree.
Tie the free end of each wire to a hook attached to the wall on either side of the tree. Alternatively, loop a single wire around the trunk and attach each end to the wall hooks.
Be Aware
Cut tree branches have many uses. Place them under the tree to cover the stand, or use them to make wreathes or window box decorations.
HOW TO TREAT MISTLETOE POISONING
Discovery of partially chewed mistletoe, or the symptoms of mistletoe poisoning, calls for different responses for pets and humans.
1. Determine if real berries have been ingested.
Ingesting large numbers of real berries can cause a rapid increase in blood pressure that can lead to cardiac arrest. For this reason, many mistletoe distributors often replace the natural berries with plastic ones, which are light-colored and waxy looking. Check the mistletoe to see if the remaining berries are real; if they are, go to step 3.
2. Look for missing or chewed leaves.
Mistletoe leaves contain less of the toxins (tyramine and beta-phenethylamine) found in berries, but present another danger: Leaves have a protein toxin (phoratoxin) that causes severe gastrointestinal pain, cramping, and diarrhea. Unlike berries, leaves on packaged mistletoe are generally not plastic. The most common mistletoe leaves in the United States (Phoradendron tomentosum) are ½ to 2 inches long, smooth-edged, leathery, and green. These oblong leaves sprout in pairs from opposite sides of the stem. European mistletoe (Viscum album) has larger and thinner leaves that are less green.
3. Watch for the symptoms of mistletoe poisoning.
Recognizing mistletoe poisoning is complicated because the poisons in the plant can cause opposite (yet all potentially lethal) symptoms: While berry toxins may elevate blood pressure, protein toxins in the leaves can lower blood pressure and heart rate. Look for severe intestinal distress in the form of vomiting, gagging, and diarrhea. Ingesting amounts under three berries or two leaves is unlikely to produce significant clinical effects in pets or humans and probably will not require treatment.
4. Call a veterinarian or poison control center.
Follow the specialist’s instructions for dealing with poisoning.
IN PETS
Induce vomiting.
Vomiting should be induced unless two or more hours have passed since mistletoe ingestion.
Use 1 teaspoon of syrup of ipecac per 10 pounds of animal.
If ipecac is unavailable, induce vomiting with 3-percent hydrogen peroxide. Administer 1 to 3 teaspoons every 10 minutes a total of three times.
If neither ipecac nor hydrogen peroxide is available, use ½ to 1 teaspoon of salt, placed directly on the back of the animal’s tongue.
Coat the stomach.
If the pet ingested the mistletoe more than two hours ago, attempt to slow the plant’s absorption by the body. Do not induce vomiting.
Mix one tablet of activated charcoal per 2 teaspoons of water. Administer 1 teaspoon of the solution per 2 pounds of animal, followed by several cups of water. Do not use ipecac.
After half an hour, administer 1 teaspoon of milk of magnesia per five pounds of animal. If unavailable, administer vegetable oil, egg whites, or milk to coat the gastrointestinal tract.
If the symptoms do not subside within four hours, take your pet to the veterinarian.
IN PEOPLE
1. Determine if the berries are real or not and ascertain what part of the plant has been consumed.
2. Call a poison control center immediately.
In the U.S., call 800-222-1222. Be prepared to tell the operator approximately how many leaves and (real) berries were ingested. The operator will instruct you on what to do. Do not administer pet rescue techniques to people.
Be Aware
When administering help to your pet, be gentle—your pet is likely to be in distress. Be on guard for biting or wild behavior. Do not put your finger down your pet’s throat to induce vomiting.
When hanging mistletoe, consider placing it inside a piece of stocking (pantyhose) or a sealed sandwich bag to prevent any berries and leaves from falling to the floor, where they present a danger to pets and children.
Poinsettias contain a latex sap that can irritate sensitive skin, and if ingested they may cause a burning sensation and intestinal disturbances, but they are not nearly as toxic as mistletoe.
HOW TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY MENORAH
If Hanukkah arrives and you are without a menorah or candles, you will have to make your own.
BAKED MENORAH
You will need 2 cups flour, 1 cup salt, 1 cup water, 9 nuts or washers (at least ½ inch in diameter), a large mixing bowl, and at least three hours.
1. Preheat the oven to 200° F.
2. Mix the flour and salt together in the large bowl.
3. Add water.
Slowly pour water into the mixture and stir until it becomes the consistency of dough. If it is too dry, add more water; if it is too wet, add more flour.
4. Roll the dough into a strip about 12 inches long, 1 to 2 inches wide, and 2 inches thick.
5. Cut a 1-inch piece off one end and press it into the center of the strip.
The center area will be raised slightly: It will hold the Shamos candle, which is used to light the other candles.
6. Add the nuts to the dough.
Press the nuts into the dough, four spaced evenly on each side of the Shamos holder. Place the ninth nut in the raised center portion. The nuts should be pushed in so that part of the nut sticks up above the top of the dough. The nuts are the candle holders.
7. Bake.
Place the menorah on a baking sheet, and place in the oven. Bake for about two hours. The menorah
is ready when the dough becomes hard. (You can air dry the menorah instead of baking it; allow two to three days for hardening.)
8. Let cool.
The menorah should be completely cool before use.
BOWL AND DIRT MENORAH
You will need a baking dish or bowl and sand, dirt, rice, or gravel.
Fill a 2-inch-deep (or deeper) bowl with sand, dirt, rice, gravel, or other nonflammable material.
Stick the appropriate number of candles in the dish each night (placing the Shamos on a slightly elevated mound) to create a makeshift menorah.
Be Aware
Do not make a menorah out of wood. Hanukkah candles must be allowed to burn down completely, and wood presents the risk of fire.
HOW TO MAKE MENORAH CANDLES FROM CRAYONS
You will need 4 cups distilled water; 8 tablespoons boric acid; 4 tablespoons salt; 26 feet of string, twine, or cotton yarn; cardboard; an empty metal coffee can; a saucepan larger than the coffee can; heavy-duty foil; 44 steel washers; and 137 crayons.
1. Prepare a mordanting solution for the wick.
Mix the distilled water, boric acid (Borax), and salt in the large saucepan. This mordanting solution will minimize smoke and ash. Bring the solution to a boil.
2. Soak the string in the mordanting solution.
Submerge the string, twine, or cotton yarn in the boiling solution, remove from the heat, and let steep for four to eight hours.
3. Remove the string and hang to dry overnight.
Hang the string on the back of a folding chair, on a doorknob, or from a curtain rod. Ensure that loops of the string do not touch one another. Discard the mordanting solution and rinse the saucepan.
4. When the string is completely dry, cut 22 strands, each 14 inches long.
Each strand will make a wick for two 6-inch candles at a time. Weight both ends of each length by tying on steel washers. These will keep the wick straight as the candle dries.
5. Prepare the wicks for dipping.
Drape each string piece over a 2-by-2-inch piece of cardboard folded in half, leaving equal lengths on either side. Cut slashes on opposite sides of the cardboard and lodge the wick into the slashes. Set aside.
6. Place the coffee can in the saucepan on the stovetop.
Fill the saucepan around the can with 3 to 4 inches of water. Bring the water to a boil, adding more water as necessary to keep the level constant.
7. Melt five crayons in the coffee can.
Remove all paper from the crayons before melting them. This wax will only be used to coat the wick, not to make the candles.
8. Dip two wicks.
Leave the wicks in the melted crayons until they are coated; 30 seconds is sufficient. Remove from the can and hang to dry.
9. Once dry, cut the string.
Remove the cardboard and washers and cut the string so that you have two prepared wicks, each about 7 inches long.
10. Stack three additional crayons around each wick.
Remove the paper from the crayons first. This arrangement will form your candle. Allow a few extra inches of wick to protrude at each end.
11. Wrap the bundle tightly in several layers of heavy-duty aluminum foil.
A few layers will be necessary to prevent leaking.
12. Repeat steps 10 and 11 until all 44 candles are prepared.
13. Heat.
Place the foil-wrapped bundles on a baking sheet and put in a preheated 200° F oven for 20 minutes to fuse them together.
14. Shape.
When the bundles are warm and pliable to the touch, roll until the candles are the proper diameter to fit your menorah.
15. Remove the foil.
16. Set the candles.
Place them in the refrigerator for 30 minutes to cool.
Be Aware
Crayon-based candles are very smoky, drippy, and tend not to burn evenly. Watch them carefully when lit.
HOW TO MAKE AN EMERGENCY ANGEL
If you do not have an angel or ornaments for your Christmas tree, you will have to make your own.
PAPER PLATE ANGEL
You will need a paper plate, crayons or coloring pencils, a coffee mug, a quarter, scissors, and glue or tape.
1. Draw the angel.
In the center of the paper plate, trace the circumference of the mug for the wings and trace the quarter on the top inside edge of the first circle for the head, as shown. Draw in the shoulders freehand.
2. Cut on the bold lines as illustrated.
Keep the body attached to the skirt. The upper portion will fall away.
3. Decorate the angel with crayons or colored pencils.
4. Overlap the edges of the skirt behind the angel’s back and tape or glue into place.
If you have no tape or glue, cut two vertical slits: one at the top of the left side, the other at the bottom of the right. Interlock the two sides.
5. Set the angel atop the tree.
ALUMINUM FOIL ANGEL
You will need aluminum foil and a toilet paper tube.
1. Make the wings.
Cut a piece of foil approximately a foot and a half long. Fold it lengthwise like a fan, in alternating directions as illustrated. Hold the fan together in the center and spread out the foil in a wing-like manner.
2. Make the body.
Cut another piece of foil the same size and wrap it around the toilet paper tube, aligning one end of the foil with one edge of the tube; let the rest hang off. After rolling the tube in the foil, bunch the extra foil at one end to form the head. If the head seems too small, wrap another piece of tin foil around it to enlarge.
3. Make a skirt.
Tear a strip of foil approximately five inches wide and wrap it around the tube to form a skirt. Bunch the skirt together in the back to hold it in place.
4. Make a halo.
Tear a thin strip of foil. Make a ring at one end with the trailing piece coming straight down. Press the trailing piece into the crevices of the angel’s head at the back.
5. Make praying hands.
Tear another thin strip of foil approximately eight inches long. Wrap it around the angel’s body, near the top of the tube. Press the ends together to form praying hands. Tear off any excess.
6. Attach the wings.
Center the fan on the angel’s upper back and press into the foil below the head to attach.
7. Set the angel atop the tree.
ALTERNATIVE ORNAMENTS
Readily available items from home or a convenience store can be used as ornaments in an emergency.
CDs—free-trial Internet providers’ CDs or old music CDs create glittery reflective surfaces.
Costume jewelry—earrings, brooches, and rings for ornaments, necklaces for tinsel.
Clothing—scarves, lace undergarments, and anything for infants, especially hats, gloves, and shoes.
Bread products—bagels or powdered-sugar donuts (around branches); white bread shaped into animals, balls, snowmen, or Santa; cookies; and fruitcakes (sliced).
Lapel buttons—political or rock-and-roll pins, stuck or clipped to branches.
Fruits and vegetables—jalapeño peppers, cherry tomatoes, zucchini, pearl onions, garlic cloves, and olives (with or without pimiento).
Photographs—pictures of your family, photos of someone else’s family or of celebrities torn out of magazines.
Snack foods—vending-machine-sized bags of chips, cookies, and candy, strung together.
Air fresheners—automobile fresheners, shaped like pine trees, in a variety of colors.
Gumdrops or gelatin-based candies—hung individually, strung together, or licked and stuck together in festive shapes.
Be Aware
Perishables such as lunch meats, cheeses, and giblets pose potential health risks, and therefore do not make good decorative items.
Use tape, grocery store twist-ties, paper clips, or thread if you do not have hangers.
HOW TO FIT INTO CLOTHING THAT IS TOO TIGHT
FOR M
EN
1. Wear newer shirts and pants.
Garments (especially shirts) that have been laundered repeatedly are smaller than their original sizes. These items may also have loose buttons that might be ejected during a meal.
2. Choose dark-colored garments.
Lighter colors are less forgiving visually, while darker colors tend to obscure bulges.
3. Move your collar button.
Many men carry extra weight in the neck and jowls. Remove and reattach your collar button, moving it to the very edge of the collar tab. Wear a standard tie (not a bow tie) to hide the alteration.
4. Wear suits.
Suits are very effective for hiding pounds. They even out lines and offer structure to the body shape. Choose a dark-colored suit with a boxy shape rather than one cut narrow through the chest and waist. Shoulder padding is slimming, and is a must to balance the hips. (Broad shoulders help to create the ideal inverted triangle physique.) A suit jacket is also effective for hiding a large rear end: Choose a jacket with side vents/slits for extra room and comfort.
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