‘I should think your corners have already been well cleaned out,’ she said vulgarly.
I gave her a look and went to get ready. One cannot walk along a windy beach in a thobe. It gets wrapped around your legs and trips you up.
The weather looked changeable, too, and it was a pity Lili still had my cape.
‘We could stop at Lili’s on the way home and get my cape back,’ I suggested. ‘You can protect me if she gets violent, and I’ll assure her that I haven’t got designs on her potter, so perhaps she’ll forgive me.’
He was evidently not really interested in me. After all, a casual invitation to look at his mugs and jugs was not a romantic assignation. I remembered his eyes the previous night, sending me messages I didn’t want to hear. Or might not have translated properly? Perhaps I should check my back again for the code?
We walked along the beach at Oxwich after lunch in companionable silence, and called at Lili’s cottage around tea and gin time, but there was no reply when I knocked.
Perhaps she struck lucky at the party and hadn’t come home, alone or otherwise? Or maybe she’d made an assignation with Dave, only he had to stop and stone a cat first?
I was going to try phoning later, but when we got back Miranda was waiting for us in a froth of impatience.
‘Oh, Sappho, at last! They’ve found poor Lili unconscious on the moors with a head wound. She must have b-been out there all night.’
‘Stoned?’ I asked.
Chapter 25
Exposure
We calmed Miranda down with my universal panacea of rum-spiked coffee, and she told us what she knew.
‘The postman spotted her this morning, just b-by the ruined cottage on the edge of the village – the Rhyss road, so she was going home. Something red was flapping about, so he went to have a look and it was your rain cape, Sappho! And there poor Lili was, unconscious, though the police said it was just mild concussion and exposure, only if she hadn’t b-been wrapped in the cape it could have been worse.’
‘Oiled silk is quite warm and waterproof,’ I agreed, when she stopped for breath. ‘And how was she concussed? I mean, I suppose Chris told you that my cat was stoned last night, so maybe there’s a connection?’
‘They aren’t sure whether it was just an accident and she caught her head on the stones around the d-doorway, b-but low down, so she must have b-been falling when she d-did it. B-but they think she might have gone in there for shelter when that sudden shower started – and then perhaps she slipped as she was coming out. B-but they aren’t certain, and when they came to see us this morning, Chris told them about your cat, and they want to speak to you. I’ve b-been trying to phone you, only there was no answer.’
‘We’ve been out this afternoon – celebrating: Mu’s pregnant,’ I told her.
‘Oh, Mu!’ Miranda squealed, hugging her. ‘Oh, Mu, I’m so happy for you.’
‘Thank you – but it’s a secret between us until I tell Ambler – and it’s early days yet; anything could happen.’
‘You’ll b-be fine, d-don’t worry.’
I’d been thinking: ‘If Lili was wearing my very distinctive red cape . . .’
‘A very unique cross between smuggler’s moll and Big Red Riding Hood,’ added Mu.
‘She b-borrowed it b-because she was a b-bit miffed when you and Nye vanished more or less at the same time, though she’d b-been getting on like a house on fire with D-Dave until then. It was quite funny when they surfaced and realized you and Nye were b-both gone.’
‘Didn’t we leave a chair jammed under the kitchen door?’
‘Yes, someone had to climb in and remove it. Then Lili got very d-drunk when they couldn’t find you. It was awful – almost everyone got d-drunk b-because of the spiked punch. Lili insisted on walking home rather than wait her turn for the taxi.’
‘Where was Dave?’
‘I d-didn’t see him for ages after that, b-but much later he came d-downstairs with this awful woman from Port Talbot – supposed to be a painter. I d-didn’t invite her, she came with someone, and she said D-Dave had b-been there for hours, so I d-don’t know.’
I looked at Mu and raised one eyebrow. ‘Perhaps he was there all the time, or maybe he was here stoning the cat, but why would he attack Lili?’
‘Because she was wearing your cape and lurking invitingly about in dark, ruined cottage doorways?’ Mu suggested.
‘She’s about three feet shorter than me,’ I objected.
‘It was dark – and raining.’
‘And why would I be on the other side of the village heading away?’
She shrugged. ‘Why not? You walk for miles at any time of the day or night that takes your fancy.’
‘You really shouldn’t d-do that, it could be d-dangerous at night alone, Sappho.’
‘A woman must do what a woman must do,’ I said.
‘And you weren’t alone last night,’ Mu pointed out helpfully.
Miranda looked at me, round-eyed. ‘Chris said when he came b-back from here that you and Nye had b-been together and—’ She stopped abruptly and blushed.
Was ‘I had sex with Nye Thomas’ indelibly stamped on my forehead I wondered.
Flustered, she hurried on. ‘D-Dave had come d-down so he heard that . . . and he d-didn’t look too pleased.’
‘I’m not too pleased, if Chris is announcing details of my supposed sex life to rooms full of strangers,’ I snapped.
‘The only people still there waiting for the taxi were too d-drunk to take it in.’
‘Except Dave. Strange how he managed to avoid the punch, wasn’t it? Almost as if he knew,’ I said.
‘He d-did know – he b-brought the super-strength vodka with him and put it in. I asked him, and he seemed to think it was funny. And then I told him I wanted him to leave my house,’ she added. ‘Fortunately, I was too b-busy to have d-drunk much myself, b-but even then I felt fairly woozy. People have b-been coming back to fetch their cars all d-day, and the ones I’ve seen looked horribly hungover. D-Dave’s moved to the Eagle and Stone now.’
‘Well done,’ applauded Mu. ‘Did he seem worried at all about Lili?’
‘Not really. He said he was sorry she was hurt, b-but at least she’d b-been found in time and was alive.’
‘Warm and caring as always,’ I commented. ‘What about Chris?’
‘I just left him to it in the early hours of the morning and went to b-bed – and I locked the b-bedroom d-door again. Then after D-Dave moved out I told him I knew he’d thrown Spike over the cliff and he admitted it. Only he said Spike was d-dead first.’ Her eyes filled. ‘He’d run into him while reversing the car out to go b-back to London and he thought I’d b-be less hurt if Spike just d-disappeared.’
Even as we comforted her, I wondered if it had really been that way – or if so, whether he had killed him accidentally. He’s a nasty bit of work.
Miranda seemed to agree. ‘He tried to make it seem as though he’d d-done it to spare me, b-but I think it was just b-because he d-didn’t want to face me with what he’d d-done, and it made it so much worse! Anyway, I said that was the final straw and I was now convinced he’d played all those tricks on me too, and I’d had enough, what with mental cruelty and infidelity, and I wanted a d-divorce.’
The worm turns with a vengeance. ‘Well done! What did he say?’
‘He’s stormed off, presumably b-back to London and he said I could phone him when I’ve come to my senses.’
‘Nice line,’ Mu commented critically.
‘That’s it, we’re finished,’ Miranda said, and sniffled a bit. ‘It’s all horrible and sad, b-but at least now I’ve got Fantasy Flowers to distract my mind. Gil stayed late last night, helping. He’s a teetotaller and he d-doesn’t like mixed drinks, so he d-didn’t even have the punch. So what with my b-business and my cookbooks and my friends, I’m sure I’ll survive.’
It was disquieting that Dave was staying on in the village, but no more than that – he’d never frightened
me . . . though I suppose he might if he’d really flipped and taken to braining cats and people with rocks. I couldn’t really see it, though.
Still, I’d sorted him out before, I could do it again.
‘Have you phoned the hospital about poor Lili?’ I asked Miranda.
‘Yes, and she’s come round, b-but she’s still a b-bit confused. I’m going to go and see her this evening.’
‘I could come with you,’ I offered.
‘Perhaps b-better not. I d-don’t know how much she remembers, and you d-did go off with Nye.’
‘Yes, but not in the sense of going off, more in the sense of happening to leave at the same time. And she can have him, I don’t want him.’
‘Nye might have something to say about that,’ suggested Mu. ‘You can’t play pass the parcel with him, or if you do, someone’s got to keep him when the music stops. The last one to unwrap him,’ she added rather vulgarly.
I don’t remember any music. The stars may have been playing celestial symphonies, but if so, I was too occupied to notice.
Chapter 26
Rocky Horrors
Miranda went home to change before setting off to visit Lili in hospital. She said she might pop in on the way back, but then she must go home for an early night so she could get up in time to do the flower orders next morning, which would be the first day that the advert with her own Fantasy Flowers telephone number appeared.
I’d miss her coming in and out to do the flowers, but at least I could now demolish the conservatory, except it was sort of handy for the cat. I wasn’t cutting cat flaps in my Portuguese door, which was still leaning decoratively against the kitchen wall, since I was thinking of setting it into the front wall of the barn.
I’d already had someone round to draw up plans for the barn, and he pointed out that there had originally been a door there, with a passage leading to another blocked-up door into my kitchen. So I could have a hallway and front door on to the lane, though I’d have to wait for planning permission for the rest of the barn.
After Miranda’s artless confidences about how helpful dear Gil had been the previous night, I thought I’d better get on and find out whether he really did do in his wife, so I rang him and reminded him of his invitation to tea, and we fixed it up for Tuesday, at two. Then he told me Violet Duke had been there earlier, because it had occurred to her that there might be vital information on Dorinda’s computer that could give them a clue to her current whereabouts.
Of course, Gil is useless where computers are concerned, and so am I, or one of us might have thought of it earlier. At some point, I’d really have to embrace the new technology.
‘Did you find anything useful?’ I asked.
‘Not yet, because Dorinda protected her computer with a password and it took us all afternoon to guess it – “Paviland”.’
‘After the cave where the bones of the Red Lady were found?’
‘Yes. I thought of that one,’ he said proudly. ‘Once we were in, Violet had a quick look at the files, but she couldn’t see anything that sounded helpful without opening them all, so she’s coming back when she’s got more time.’
By this stage I didn’t think a delay in finding Dorinda was going to matter one way or the other, but I didn’t say so.
Mu and I had both begun to flag by this time and were just rooting in the freezer, trying to choose between the stacked and labelled cartons of Miranda’s ready meals, when two policemen came to see us.
How popular we were!
It was Constable Gwynne again, and an older man with beady eyes, a moth-eaten moustache and yellow fingers: very specific jaundice or a nasty cigarette problem?
They were still doing the rounds of local partygoers re Lili’s stoning – or being stoned – so I took them into the living room while Mu went off to make coffee.
I sat down on the lounger and the two men took the sofa opposite. Inspector Crabtree, as Spot had introduced him, took out a cigarette packet.
‘You don’t mind . . .?’ he began.
‘Actually, I do,’ I said, and he gave me an unfriendly look and put the packet away again.
Sphinx walked in and sat down right in front of poor PC Gwynne, staring, so maybe she’d never seen spots on that scale either.
‘We’re trying to trace Mrs Jakes’s last movements,’ the inspector said. ‘And also we were told there was a stone-throwing incident here last night, too.’
‘Ford Jakes. Ms.’
‘Is it hyphenated?’
‘No.’
He gave me a look.
‘Someone threw a stone at my cat late last night and knocked her out. I’ve got the rock – I put a tea chest over it to keep the rain off, in case there were fingerprints, though I don’t suppose it’s easy getting them from a rough surface like that.’
‘Almost impossible, miss.’
‘Ms.’
He gave me another dirty look, and poor PC Gwynne scribbled away.
‘Miranda Cotter’s told us all about the Lili incident, and I’m amazed the postman ever spotted Lili from the road if she was lying in the doorway of that ruin,’ I said.
‘He – er – stopped for an urgent call of nature.’
At least he didn’t use the nearest telephone box. What is it with men and their compulsion to pee in small enclosed places? Territory marking?
Mu came in just then with the tray, and was introduced and brought up to date with the conversation, if it could be termed as such.
She sat in the cushioned basket chair smiling winsomely.
Inspector Crabtree was chewing the ratty yellow moustache, which should supply him with enough nicotine to stop withdrawal symptoms for several hours.
When I pulled the little table closer and began to pour out coffee from the Raarg pot, the two policemen exchanged glances for some reason. Perhaps they didn’t like coffee, but were too polite to say so.
Then we ran through our recollections of who was at the party, which they must already have been given, but I wasn’t much help because of course I’d left early, and neither was Mu, who hadn’t stayed much longer.
‘Did either of you speak to Mrs – Ms Ford Jakes last night?’
I shook my head, because I considered whispering ‘Dave Devlyn’ in her ear in passing didn’t count.
Mu said, ‘I had a chat with her, but it wasn’t relevant. I mean, she didn’t say: “I’m going to meet a man in that ruined cottage on the Rhyss road later, and he might lob a rock at me,” or anything.’
They gave her a look and she added, unabashed, ‘She was just as usual.’
‘I see.’ Inspector Crabtree turned back to me while Constable Gwynne finished scribbling hastily and turned over a fresh page.
‘Now, I’m told that you left by a slightly unusual route?’
‘I went out of the kitchen window,’ I agreed.
‘Any particular reason?’
‘I wished to leave and there was a man I didn’t want to talk to in the hallway.’
‘And you left with a Mr Aneurin Thomas?’
‘He followed me out. We didn’t leave together.’
‘He states that he was trying to avoid the attentions of Ms Jakes. Perhaps you would care to tell me what you did next?’
His tone suggested he could make a pretty good guess.
What had Nye been telling him?
‘We went for a walk up on to the moors, and then came back here.’
‘Indeed? But you’d left your rain cape at the Cotters, hadn’t you? Didn’t you get very wet during that sudden downpour?’
‘No, we sheltered till it went off. Was that the crucial time? Well, why didn’t you come straight out with it?’ I demanded. ‘Nye and I were together until long after that, because he came back here with me. So neither of us could have had anything to do with it, if it wasn’t an accident – though it seems to me it might well have been, and my poor cat was the only real victim last night.’
‘And what time did you discover that your cat
had been hurt?’ he said in the voice of one humouring an imbecile.
‘It was about one-ish,’ Mu said. ‘She got out when I returned from the party, and I heard a noise and found her. I got the impression of someone running away.’
‘But you didn’t actually see them?’
‘No, but it was probably Dave Devlyn, the man Sappho was trying to avoid at the party.’
‘You can’t accuse him without any proof!’ I protested.
‘Is there any reason why he should do such a thing?’ the inspector said patiently.
‘He’s madly jealous of Sappho – they used to be an item years ago – and he’s prone to doing spiteful things to get her attention.’
‘We’ve already spoken to Mr Devlyn, and I believe he was otherwise occupied at the time, although both he and Mr Ace went out at some point for a breath of air.’
After a few more seemingly random questions he said that would be all, and added that although Lili was now conscious and making a good recovery, she hadn’t been able to recall anything about what happened yet.
When they left I insisted they took the rock that struck Sphinx with them, which they would have forgotten if I hadn’t reminded them. Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson they ain’t.
They seemed keen to get away, colliding with Nye as they went around the barn.
He was wearing clay-bespattered cords and a scowl. I’d learned by then that his strange eyes are a barometer for his feelings: leaden grey means trouble.
I had an instant flashback to the night before, which I could have done without, and which probably helped to make me sound flippant, when I said, ‘Hello, Nye! This is a surprise.’
‘Is it?’ he said coldly, continuing to glower down at me.
And loom. I wasn’t used to it.
‘Your cat gets stoned, Lili may or may not have been attacked last night while wearing your cloak by the same person who did it, and you’re surprised I’ve come to see if you’re all right?’
‘Oh, we’re absolutely fine – and so is Sphinx, as you can see,’ I said airily.
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