by T A Ford
“Oh good grief, the damn thing must be on the floor,” someone said. “Help her so she can shut up.”
“What’s wrong with her?” another employee asked.
Dina knocked everything aside and the pencil rolled toward her. She grasped it.
“Dina, come to my office. I’ll call your brother,” Rafael said. “You’re making a scene.” When she didn’t respond, he put a hand to her shoulder.
“Don’t touch me!” she screeched. She plunged the pencil deep into Rafael’s arm. He hollered. Ellie screamed in horror. Tim lunged at her and tackled her at the waist due to his short stature. She was thrown back onto the cubicle desk. She fought the little man and kicked him off her. More people rushed the cubicle and overwhelmed her.
Shocked by what she had done, Dina froze physically. She was crushed beneath the rush of employees who piled on top of her. One man had his elbow pressed to her neck painfully hard. She cried out in agony and fear. She begged them all to understand in her head. It was as if she lost the ability to speak. She kicked her feet because her spine felt as if it was snapping from the weight of the grown men on top of her. Then she was yanked from the cubicle desk and landed hard on the floor. Many people shouted accusations. Dina could do nothing but scream and scream for release. Rafael staggered away with a bleeding arm. She was only five foot three and a hundred and twenty pounds. Why were they trying to kill her?
RODNEY STEPPED OFF the elevator. The moment he did, security led him down a silent and empty hall. He removed his gloves, but kept on his dark trench coat, and his scarf remained wrapped securely around his neck. He was cold. Hard and cold with worry and rage. He was also taller than most men, so his imposing mood was felt keenly by the security guard. The shorter man with red hair kept glancing back at him, keeping his hand on his weapon at his hip.
Rodney had played basketball all throughout high school. With height came respect and with respect he commanded power—that is what the sport taught him. He used everything he had, including his looks, to climb out of poverty. However, no matter how much money he stacked up and how much he owned, there was one thing he could not buy or control: his sister’s health and happiness.
“Mr. Almada insisted that we not call the police. He’s in here. He’s also refusing to go to the hospital. The medics treated him and left,” the security guard said.
“Where is my sister?” Rodney asked.
“We have her in the adjoining room. She’s calm. Now.”
“Now?”
“Mr. Almada will explain.” The guard opened the door.
Rodney walked in. Rafael sat on an executive sofa with a very sexy leggy Latinx woman next to him. She looked up at Rodney with deep-set sympathetic eyes. His fraternity brother wasn’t as happy to see him.
“Karmen, go.”
“Yes, Rafael,” she said, and stood. She wore tall heels and a very tightly fitted pencil skirt that shaped her hips and thighs. Curvy and tall, she was just like Rodney and Rafael preferred their women. He gave her a passing glance as she brushed past him and went out the door. When it closed, the spell broke. His gaze landed on his friend.
“Where is she?” Rodney asked.
“I could have called the police. She drove a pencil into my arm. I could have led poisoning.”
“Where is she?” Rodney repeated.
“Room next door. Locked her in it,” Rafael spat.
“You did what?” Rodney took a step toward him. Rafael was the only black man Rodney knew who was born and raised in France and fluent in six different languages. He too was part of the fraternal order of men that attended Harvard together and became successful. But Rafael wasn’t like Cue. He didn’t owe him any personal debt. He only gave Rodney’s sister a job out of a self-serving need for her brilliance. When Rodney advanced on him, Rafael dismissed his closer presence with an eye roll. An ex-boxer himself, Rafael feared very little.
“She was out of her mind,” he began. “She kept screaming that we were going to kill her. No one touched her. She nearly killed me. If she had hit my chest with that pencil I would be dead.”
Rodney ran his hand back over his shaven head. He turned away from his friend and digested the news of what Dina had done. “What the fuck brought it on? Dina isn’t violent. She’s a damn accountant. How did this happen?”
“You tell me. Your sister’s got some issues, man. I’m constantly fielding complaints about her being weird.”
“Don’t talk about her like that.”
“One minute I’m trying to promote her, the next she is saying I’m trying to keep her down. Flipped out on me. Over some nonsense in her head. Then went to her desk and threw a tantrum over a missing pencil. When I tried to help her, she stabbed me.”
“That’s not my Dina.”
“Look at my fucking arm! I didn’t do this to myself.”
“Fuck you man. Fuck you. Talking about her like that. Whatever went down here, you caused it. You!”
“Me?” Rafael stood. “Oh, it’s like that? I could have her arrested. What she did is fucking assault, maybe attempted murder. H.R. is all over my ass. Employees are acting like they got PTSD upstairs. I have to hire a crew to clean the blood from the floor and cubes, but I didn’t punish her. I brought her here. For the brotherhood.”
“The brotherhood? That shit died on the vine ten years ago. Fuck the brotherhood. I want to see my sister, right now!”
Rafael stormed out, and Rodney followed him to the next room. When the door opened, his heart broke. Dina sat in a chair with her head bowed. She looked too still, too sad, too broken for him to reach. The memories rained on Rodney like bricks. The very first time he saw his mother in the institution, she had the same wounded spirit. In that moment, Rodney was lost. He couldn’t face any future that killed Dina’s spirit in the way it had his mother’s. He cleared his throat.
Her head lifted slowly. She stared into Rodney’s eyes and all of the pain seem to lessen.
“Baby-girl? How we doing today?”
“Rodney,” she answered, and frowned as if confused by his presence. He nodded that he was there, and there for her. Relief softened the pain etched over her beautiful face. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen.”
He went to his sister and pulled her up out of the chair into his arms. He hugged her to his chest and kissed the top of the head. He rubbed her back and relaxed her in the ways only he and his father knew how. Dwarfed by his stature, she hugged him the best she could. She shivered against him. He fought back his own tears. “I’m here now. No one will hurt you. Let’s go home.”
He swept her up in his arms. She weighed nothing. He could remember carrying her around when he was a kid and she felt even lighter. Rafael held the door open for him. Rodney owed his fraternity brother an apology. Rafael was a good man. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to say a word of kindness or regret to any motherfucker that ever hurt his Dina. From the elevator, to the door of the office building and then to the parking garage, he carried her. Almost everyone they passed stopped to gawk at them. Her coworker Ellie rushed out to the truck just as he got Dina fastened inside.
“Hey! Hey! Wait. Here are her things,” Ellie said.
Rodney looked back at the portly blonde woman with a bright stained smile. He saw the box she carried full of Dina’s personal things and was glad to receive them. If they were important to Dina, he’d have a hell of a time getting her to let any of it go. Her purse was there, along with a picture of her with Mom, him and Daddy. A family photo he didn’t know she brought to work.
“Is she okay?” Ellie asked, trying to get a peek at his sister. “Poor dear.”
“She’ll be fine.”
“She’s a sweet girl. She tried really hard to make friends with the people here, but they were never kind to her. Did you know she talks to herself? She felt embarrassed about it. Hell, I do it too. I told her that.”
Rodney felt his chest tighten with tension. “Thank you. What’s your name?”
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“Ellie. I would eat lunch with her at times. She didn’t start that incident. She was trying to get her things and they scared her. Grown ass men threw her down on the ground like a criminal. It was awful. I saw it. I wish I was strong enough. I would have kicked their tails. Excuse my language. But I’m just so darn mad.” She let go a deep sigh. “Anyways. Tell her I will miss her. I don’t want to upset her further.”
“Thank you, Ellie.”
“Sure thing. You sure are much more handsome in person than your picture,” Ellie blushed.
Rodney winked at her. He put the box in the backseat. Dina refused to look at Ellie after she tapped on the window and waved at her. Rodney went around his Escalade and got in behind the wheel. He waved goodbye and drove them out of the security gates. His sister sat in a catatonic state for the drive home.
Chapter Three
The Book Queen
On the way home Rodney decided to make one stop at the local Dairy Queen. He ordered her favorite, the Oreo Cookie Blizzard. To his relief, Dina seem to rise out of her catatonic state. She ate the blizzard without complaint the rest of the way to her townhouse.
The phone rang in his truck: it was one of his babes. He answered.
“Yea, sup?” he glanced over to his sister.
“Hey, will I see you tonight?”
“No, babe, I got a situation.” Rodney said, continuing to drive.
“Really? What’s wrong?”
“Dina. She had a rough day at work today. Can I get a raincheck?” he asked.
“Sure, tell her I hope she feels better,” she said.
Rodney smiled. “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay,” she said.
Rodney parked. His remote to the garage didn’t seem to work. He glanced to Dina. She stared straight ahead, eating her blizzard. “Is the garage door broken?” he asked. She didn’t answer. He sighed. “Okay, baby-girl I’ll fix it for you later.”
Rodney hopped out of his truck and went to her side, but she was already getting out of the truck on her own.
“I’m coming in,” he told her as he got her purse and box.
“No,” she finally spoke. “I’m okay Rodney. I just want to go to bed. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
“No deal baby-girl. I’m coming in.” He walked past her before she could object. Dina followed. She dug out her keys from her purse after he handed it to her. She looked at him as if she wanted to argue the need for his visit. For the past three months she had met him at the door when he picked her up for dinner or a movie. He didn’t push her to go inside. Often when she stayed at his house she was cleaning and caring for his plants, and that seemed normal. But he did notice about a month ago that her Acura was parked outside instead of inside. He had convinced himself that too was normal. That she was improving. The doctors told him that her Asperger’s was more of a developmental disorder than a mental illness. But he knew there was a deeper truth in her uniqueness. And that knowledge prepared him for what he found inside.
“Go in sweetheart. It’s okay,” he said to her.
Dina smiled. Only twenty-five, she looked more like a nineteen-year-old. Her youth was, like their mothers’, everlasting. She nodded and went to the door. She slipped inside, and he tried following with his arms loaded with her box of personal things. But he stumbled right away and knocked over a tower of books.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I was looking for a book the other day and got carried away organizing,” she mumbled. She closed the door behind him. Dina immediately began to pick up books and make a new stack. Rodney walked the rest of the way into the house, stepping carefully. There were so many towers of books he didn’t know where the sofa or a chair was.
“So sorry,” she said, following him with a few books in her arms.
“Dina? What the fuck is going on in here?”
“Don’t Rodney, I had a rough day, remember,” she replied softly. She carried books to one corner, making a path for him to enter. He set the box down in an open space he found on the floor and flipped the light switch. She winced. She was sensitive to bright lights. He’d installed dim bulbs, but still he knew she didn’t like it. His eyes scanned all the post-it notes. He glanced behind him and found the door had opened as well.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said. He ignored her and went to the garage. Rodney’s heart sank when he flicked on the light: there were books everywhere there too. How the hell did she get so many?
“Dina, sweetheart, what the fuck? I thought we got better at this?” He turned and looked at her.
“It’s just a few of my books. I joined a new book club.”
“This is not a fucking book club!”
“The library over on Chamblee closed and they were going to throw all these books away. So, I rented a truck and went and got them. I’m going to build shelves in my garage. My own library. Even neighbors can come over and enjoy them. I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Stop it!” Rodney put his hands to his head. “Just stop it!”
He regretted yelling. He regretted many things. Most of all, he was scared for her. One doctor once warned him that Dina had the symptoms of a borderline personality. His mother’s descent into mental illness looked far too similar to Dina’s behavior. “We go to get you help, baby.”
“No. Rodney,” she said in the meekest voice. “Please don’t say that—”
“A doctor, Dina. A psychologist. We just need to help you get this compulsive thing under control. That’s all.”
“Rodney, please don’t do this to me. I didn’t mean to stab Rafael with the pencil,” she pleaded. “I worked in that office just fine. I did.”
“Dina,” he sighed.
“Please. I’ll throw the books away. I’ll throw them all away. I promise this time. I’m fine. I really am. Please listen to me.”
“Dina, calm down.”
“If you send me to a doctor, I’ll kill myself!” she shouted at him. He was stunned into silence by the proclamation. “I’ll do it Rodney. Just like Mama. If you send me to a doctor. I will kill myself!”
Calm was the furthest thing from the state Dina was in. She was in full panic mode. He was looking at her the same way the people at work did: with pity and disgust. They all thought she was crazy. She liked books, so what? So, what she had to keep track of things? Normal people did it too. And her books said that Asperger’s and autism are the new normal. There was such a broad spectrum and a lot of adults function pretty well. What she did to track things in her life wasn’t too different. Others did it on their phones, keeping a contact list and calendar appointments. They all did it. But everyone wanted her to think she was crazy.
“I’m okay Rodney. It was just a bad day. I said I’m sorry.”
He kicked a tower of books aside. Dina flinched. Her brother was taller than any man she’d ever known in life besides her father. He was dark like her daddy too. She called him milk-dud because his bald head reminded her of the candy. He was kind and considerate, a quality that some people didn’t assume a tough man like him had. She knew the softer side of him. She’d been protected by him all her life. She also knew how to bend his love to her will. Tears wouldn’t be enough. Threats often worked.
“Rodney? What are you thinking?” she asked, and wiped her tears. “What do you think of me?”
“I think I’m proud of you for defending yourself today. I’m thinking I need to spend more time here, with you,” he said, and scratched his brow. When he reached for her she collapsed into his arms. He was the only person in the world who had proved to her that love wasn’t just one side of a coin, but both. He understood how different life was for her. She only had Rodney. If she lost him, then she’d kill herself and go be with her mom and dad. “Being alone is scarier than being crazy,” she blurted out.
“You aren’t crazy,” he said.
“Just a little bit,” she said.
“Not even a little.” He looked down at her. “You need help dealing with stress.
We all do. You feel it too strongly.”
“I don’t want to feel it,” she said.
“There’s medication, or therapy, or something we don’t know that could fix all of this for you Dina.”
“Church. I can go to church,” she suggested. “Remember Mama did church for a while and it worked for her.”
“Dina, oh baby,” Rodney sighed.
“Just trust me a little longer. Please Rodney. Just a little longer. I’m going to get better. I promise you. I’ll prove it to you.”
He sat down as if defeated. She sat next to him. Rodney wiped his hand over his face. “You’re staying with me,” he said to her.
“No, Rodney. No, I can’t. You have girlfriends. They don’t like it when I’m there, except for Maura. She’s the one that is special Rodney.”
“You’re staying with me. I’ll get you a bigger place,” Rodney reasoned. Dina blinked. She sat back and tried to see if he was lying. She could typically tell with him if he were.
“No hospital or doctors. Just a fresh start. How about that?” he asked.
“With more rooms? Bookshelves?”
He smiled. “Yeah, kid, we’ll take all of these books and put them on shelves. A room big enough for you to go in and read all day. So, we don’t have to clutter it up like this. How does that sound?”
Dina threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. She knocked him back with her happiness. That was her superpower, he told her about her special powers to shake off sad for happy when she was a little girl. After being teased by kids in school he’d make her an Oreo cookie ice cream surprise and she’d be so happy. He said that she could go from sad to happy better than anyone he knew.
Rodney pushed her off gentle and easy like he often did when she was too affectionate. “That’s enough.”