by T A Ford
“We’re both hurting,” Cue reminded her. “I’m more help here than he is!”
“What!” Rodney shouted. The officers looked over. Sheila grabbed his arm and made him sit back down. “You two need to stop,” she whispered. “Maybe he’s right.”
“So you taking his side now?” Rodney snatched away from her.
Sheila shook her head. “When Dina wakes, she will want to see the both of you. This isn’t about your ego or pride. It’s about her,” Sheila reasoned. “The doctor said it will be a few hours. I think we should all leave and get cleaned up, then come back. You have to calm down Rodney. You have too.”
“I’m not going no fucking where,” Rodney stood and paced away, but continued to level a threatening glare at Cue. Sheila reached for him and he sidestepped her hand.
“They can fix her physically, but only you can help her mentally. She can’t see you covered in her blood and angry. She can’t see either of you that way. Take a shower, take a breath, calm down. Besides you’re drawing attention to yourself. What happens then? Who will protect her if you’re in jail?” Sheila reasoned.
Rodney’s gaze finally left Cue. She put his face in her hands the same way Dina would do to Cue when he upset her. He guessed that Sheila only knew half the story of what trouble Rodney was in. As men, they never told the full truth. That had started back in Harvard for him and his friend. The lies, the dangerous stakes they played, all of it was catching up to the both of them. And he was afraid that Dina would pay the price. Rodney shook his head in defeat and walked out of the waiting room. Sheila glanced to Cue. “Please go. Clean yourself up.”
Cue released a deep sigh. He stared down at his hands. They continued to shake. The dried blood made them pinkish. He knew what Dina needed, and it killed him to do it. He removed his phone and called in his colleague. “Hi, it’s me. I need to tell you something.”
AFTER CUE SHOWERED and changed, he fed Jack. He then went about cleaning the blood that was everywhere in her place. He kept at it with bleach until he felt he had scrubbed away all traces of his sins. Afterwards he sat in the dark thinking of what to do next. He kept calling the hospital to check on her status. There was no change. He knew what faced him, and he didn’t care. The advice he received wasn’t enough to make him care about risks. He vowed to do what she needed. In his heart, he couldn’t disbelieve the truth. What she needed was anything but him.
He returned to the hospital when his weakness got the best of him. He asked for her floor and was given the details. When he arrived, he stopped to see Rodney with Dr. Robinson. They were deep in conversation. They both stopped speaking when he approached.
“Clinton. You can’t be here,” Robinson warned.
“I brought you in on this case. What do you mean I can’t be here? I need to be here.”
“I have more information now.” Dr. Robinson looked back at Rodney, who glared at him. He took Cue by the arm and forced him to turn and go into the room that was empty before them.
“Is it true? Were you having a sexual relationship with Dina Erickson while she was your patient?”
“It didn’t start until she began seeing you. I’m not her psychiatrist. I’m her boyfriend.”
“You and I both know that’s not how it works. Her brother said you and him tricked her into therapy. And that he left her in your care. That you put her on drugs and then seduced her. Clinton? Do you understand how serious these accusations are? I’ll have to report it to the APA.”
“I’m telling you, he’s pissed and is twisting this. I’m not stupid. I wouldn’t put my career in jeopardy.”
“Are you an alcoholic?”
“What?” Cue frowned.
“Are you in Anon for alcoholism and gambling addiction?”
“This is fucking nuts. It’s not true. Do I look like an out of control alcoholic? Have you ever suspected I had these issues?”
“I suspected she had issues. Dina always talked about this new life she was creating. I don’t know how much of what her brother is saying is true, but something is not right with you and her. She has a borderline personality, maybe even bipolar.”
“She has Asperger’s and some anxiety or coping issues. I’ve tested her. You’ve tested her. Classic case. Do not overanalyze this. This is not a psychotic break. This situation is isolated and manageable,” he reasoned.
“The doctors said she punctured her own diaphragm. She is in a manic state. I’ve discussed committing her for more psych evals...”
“No. Damnit! That will push her over the edge. I recommended you to see her because I know you are good at what you do. But so am I. I know what Dina needs. She needs focused therapy that should include her brother. We can counsel her, but if you admit her, it’ll push her deeper into depression. I’m telling you.”
“Her brother says that you two have a history. That he is the reason you have a gambling problem. Started in college. A scam you two ran in playing competition pool. It was how you two made money for some dangerous people. A man was killed and you two nearly went to prison. He got kicked out of school and you went on to finish. This is something I can easily verify.”
Cue sighed. “Bullshit.”
“He says if you continue to push to see her or be involved in her case, he will file a complaint against you. And I’m inclined to help him.”
“He’s fucking lying! He’s bluffing. And if he feels this way, he can tell me to my face,” Cue headed to the door, but the doctor pushed him back. “I’m telling you he’s a liar!”
“I don’t know what is going on with you, Clinton. But this is serious. Very. You could go to jail, and you’ll definitely lose your license. Let me take care of her. You trust me. Right? Right?”
“She needs us both!” Cue reasoned.
“No. You need her. Isn’t that right?” Dr. Robinson asked. “I’ve brought in Dr. Thomas as the new psychiatrist to help with her case. He will review her medical file and work with me to decide if meds are needed. It’s all I can share with you.”
Cue frowned. “I have to see her. Let me see her. And I’ll back off.”
“I’m sorry. My advice is that neither of you see her,” the doctor said. “I will take care of her. Give me a chance here. I mentored you. You know I know what I’m doing. Besides, it will give yourself a chance to clean up this mess between you and the brother. I won’t report you. But if her brother keeps this up I won’t have a choice. Now leave the hospital. Please.”
Cue shook his head. He threw up his hands went to the door. He saw Rodney with Maura. How he managed to switch women he didn’t know. Maura glared at him, and he knew his friend’s decision to declare war on him had been amped up by her distaste for him. None of it mattered. The only person that mattered was Dina. How was he going to let her know it?
THE NIGHT BEFORE, WHEN they got back from the hospital, Sheila had seen Rodney changing shoes and asked, “Where are you going?”
Rodney ignored her. He just had to get away from her. He knew how Sheila felt about Dina. He had tolerated her snide comments and disingenuous actions. Not anymore. He had made a vow to his father on his deathbed to care for Dina. He broke that vow.
“Rodney? Where are you going?!” Sheila said. She stepped in front of him to prevent his leaving. He let go a deep sigh and closed his eyes to make sure he didn’t raise his tone when he spoke to her.
“I told you when I took the shower. I need some space.”
“Space huh? You know I know she called you.”
Rodney frowned.
“Maura. I found your broken phone in the bathroom. I saw the last caller on that cracked screen. It was her name. She called you.”
“Move,” he said.
“Sheila, just let him go,” her mother said. “I want him out of my house.”
“Ma! Stay out of it!”
He took the squabble between them as his opportunity to escape and headed for the door. Sheila followed on his heels. She grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him t
o her before he went outside. “No! I’m not doing this! I’m not letting you do this to me anymore. I get your sister is in trouble, but I’m your woman. I’m the one you should be calling on. After everything I gave up for you!”
Rodney had to stop and face her. Sheila was in tears, and he knew he was the bastard who had caused it. He’d hurt everyone he cared for in his life, and worst of all, he used her. The moment he took her with him, he realized his loss. Maura was the woman he loved. And if she hadn’t called him, he wouldn’t have known that Dina was in trouble.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Sheila.
She wept.
“I’m sorry, but we need to be done. You need to be here. Not caught up in my shit. Not anymore. I love you babe, but I want out. We done—”
Sheila slapped him hard across the face. The blow sent a ringing pain through his skull. “Love? You don’t know how to love anyone! Especially that poor girl in that hospital. Everything you touch turns to shit, Rodney. Do you hear me? Shit!”
“Then you should be grateful I won’t touch you anymore,” he said, and went to the car, taking his luggage with him.
“I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
He put his luggage in the trunk and glanced back to Sheila, who was on her knees crying. Her mother was trying to help her back into the house, but Sheila wasn’t ready to let go of her pain. She broke free and chased the car as Rodney backed out of the drive. She took off her shoe and threw it at the vehicle.
He sped away, not bothering to look back. Rodney didn’t have a plan. He just knew he couldn’t be the person he’d become and help his sister at the same time. He had to be the man he knew his parents hoped he would be.
He drove for an hour thinking over his mistakes. And there was only one destination that made sense to him. He didn’t know what Maura thought of him. He only knew that with her, he couldn’t hide who he was. Maybe that is why her loved scared him so.
Rodney got out of the car and hesitated. She could have a man. Hell, she could be engaged or married. He knew nothing of her life. If she turned him away, he deserved it.
Before he reached the door, she opened it. She appeared before him like magic. She wore a cut-off Falcons jersey shirt and black jeans. Her braids were up in a ponytail on her head and she had a Falcons visor cap on to finish off the look. When he dated her, she didn’t like football.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I need you.”
“No Rodney. Leave. Now. I’m with somebody who loves me. I’m about to meet him at the tailgating party for the Falcons. So go!”
He took her face in his hands. “I need you Maura.”
Before she could push him off, he kissed her and walked her back inside of her house. He kicked the door shut with his foot. She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her mouth to his, her tongue darting forth in a sweeping motion that stole his breath. They only made it as far as the sofa. She was on it, with him ripping of the Falcon’s shirt she wore, wanting any reminder that another man had what he’d lost gone and erased from her memory. He yanked down her jeans as she lifted and rolled off her panties. He crashed on her before she had a chance to give it a second thought. His pants undone, his dick freed, he stabbed himself between her wet welcoming thighs and plunged deep. The sensation of her beautiful body warmly stretching for his erection sent wild euphoria through him. It felt amazing. He kept thrusting, kissing, licking, even biting her tender brown skin, wanting to ravish all of her. “Forgive me,” he begged.
If he had taken a moment to consider what he was doing to her, how he was burning down her world to bring her into his, he would have noticed the tears. Instead he noticed nothing. He pleasured in every part of her. He’d gone at her like a man on the brink of insanity. She capitulated and orgasmed with him. Done, he panted for breath, not sure what had happened.
“Get off me! Get off me!” she wailed. She fought him and shoved him off. Maura broke into tears. “Why! Why did you come here! Why!” she wept.
On the floor, stunned, he could only try to capture his breath. She took what was left of her shirt and tried to cover her nudity. “Maura, I’m sorry. Baby, I messed up. I need you!”
She was up and running from him. Rodney dragged up his pants and tried to catch her, but the door slammed in his face.
“Get out! Oh my God! Why! What did I do? Get out!” she screamed.
“Maura. Dina tried to kill herself. She’s in the hospital. She’s in there because of me. Please Maura. Please don’t turn me away. I need you,” he wept. “I don’t have anyone else. Nowhere to go.”
The door opened. Maura looked at him, horrified by the news. He went into her arms even though he didn’t deserve it. He took her to bed and made love to her again. It was all he knew to do.
“WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE are you in?” Maura asked. She rested on his chest. He lay in her bed with his arm behind his head. He’d told her the entire truth of the incident. Where he was when she called and how his return was the beginning of the end for his sister.
“I can handle it,” he replied.
“Can you?” She lifted her head. “I warned you when you started dealing with those people that it could end bad. These investment scams. The inside trading. All of it.”
“It started off real. I had a legitimate portfolio that made millions for many people.”
“And you got greedy.”
She sat up. She turned away from him. He looked over at her and wanted to touch her, but he was scared that she would throw him out. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness. Dina had warned him that she was the woman to love, to choose, that it would be his loss, not hers, if it ended. His sister was wiser than he ever gave her credit for.
“Maura?”
“I have to talk to Tyrone. Tell him about this,” she sniffed, and he knew she was crying.
“I’m sorry.”
“I love you, Rodney. You knew that. I tried to let you go. I tried hard to hate you.” She turned her face and looked back at him. “I guess I’m more like you than I realized. Selfish.”
She got up from the bed and put on her robe. She picked up her cellphone that had been buzzing since he delayed her from joining the tailgate party. “You have to leave. Get a hotel. Text me where you are and I... I’ll come see you. Tyrone lives here. He can’t find you here when I talk to him.”
She went into the bathroom and closed the door. Rodney sat up. He put his face in his hands. He took another deep breath for strength and accepted the fact that his life was now what he had made it. Dina was never the problem. His selfishness was. Buying her material things should not have been a substitute for the support she really needed. He got dressed and left the house without saying goodbye to Maura. There would be consequences. He would have to face them. He prayed he didn’t have to do it alone.
Chapter Eighteen
Mental Paralysis
Dina opened her eyes. She felt a compression throughout her chest. A weighted numbness she couldn’t explain. Breathing made the discomfort worse. Thankfully, she had oxygen plugs in her nose. The room wasn’t familiar. After a few minutes, she recognized her surroundings as a hospital room. She closed her eyes out of fear and tried to wish every bad thought in her head away. It didn’t work. Dejected, she began to cry.
“Dina?”
She opened her eyes. He was there. He was with her, just like he always promised he would be if she were in trouble. “Rodney?”
“Thank God!” he took her hand. He pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you, God!”
“What happened?” she asked.
“Baby-girl, you hurt yourself. You don’t remember?”
Dina stared at him for a moment. Her memory was as broken as her heart. She only knew sadness. It hurt so deep the pain competed with compressed tightness in her chest. She couldn’t breathe through her discomfort. She could barely see her brother through her tears. Rodney went to the door and yelled for a n
urse.
Dina moaned. “Doc! Doc! Doc!”
The nurse came in, and then others.
“Doc! Doc! Doc! Doc! Doc!” she kept yelling and crying as everyone tried to calm her down. She had seen Rodney kill her boyfriend. Doc was dead. She wept. She yelled and wept for Cue. If he were alive, he’d be there too. Flashes of the fight surfaced in her mind. Doc was being choked. Rodney killed him. She couldn’t stop seeing Doc die in her mind. Over and over she screamed Doc’s name, until she lost her voice, her sight, her sanity—all went dark.
“What’s happening to her?” Rodney asked.
“It’s what I feared. She’s having a psychotic break. We’ll have to keep her in restraints, and sedated for now,” Dr. Robinson said before Dina’s nurse could speak. He glanced to the nurse. “Call Dr. Thomas, ask him to come to the hospital and consult with Epstein.”
“Yes doctor,” the nurse said.
“Maybe it’s not a psychotic break,” Maura spoke up. “She was screaming for a doctor. You heard her. Maybe she was just in pain. You can’t just restrain her like that!”
“I agree!” Rodney said.
“It’s for her own good, sir,” Dr. Robinson said.
“Shut the hell up man,” Rodney said. Epstein waked into the room. Rodney turned to her medical doctor. “Is she in pain? Could she be in pain?”
The doctor looked at Dr. Robinson confused by his presence. The nurse returned and gave an update on the incident.
“Well?” Rodney asked.
“Yes, she could be. She could also be distressed. She’s been through an ordeal,” the doctor concluded.
“See!” Rodney said. “Don’t put her on any more meds without my permission.”
“We will wait for her psychiatrist to arrive to decide next steps,” Dr. Robinson said. “You’ll have to leave her room.”
“Fuck you! You’re treating her like this because she’s black! All of you!”
“Rodney,” Maura gasped. “Rodney look at me. Calm down and listen. Three days of this, and we’re all stressed.”