“Turn that frown upside down,” he said.
It was the first time I’d seen him smile in a few days. “That’s amazing, and what a lovely thought to keep in your mind.”
“If I feel sad, I have to say that in my head,” he answered.
“Do you think you and I could have a chat, Gerry?” Katrina asked.
His smile slipped a little but he nodded anyway. Katrina turned to me, nothing was said and I was unsure what I was supposed to do. Did she expect me to leave? Gerry had had one on one sessions with her before but this was different. Or was it?
“I’ll be upstairs, unless you want me to stay?” I said.
“I think it might be nice for me and Gerry to be alone,” she answered.
I backed hesitantly to the door. I wasn’t comfortable in leaving Gerry alone with her for two reasons: I wanted to be there should he get upset and I needed to know what he was about to say. It was important for him to speak freely but he could tell her things neither Robert nor I wanted her to know. It was a dilemma. Protect our lifestyle and it’s secrets, or let my son speak his mind to aid his recovery. Really, there was no choice.
I made my way back up the stairs to find Robert and Evelyn at the breakfast bar.
“Katrina wants to speak to him alone. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that,” I said.
“What do you mean?” Evelyn asked.
“Well, what if he tells her things, you know…will she tell the police?”
“I don’t think so,” Robert answered.
I took a seat and twiddled my thumbs. Evelyn made tea, then more tea. I sat, I paced and I checked my watch constantly.
“Will you sit down?” Robert said. “She’ll be done when she’s done.”
He had been typing on his laptop, answering emails and messages from the guys. I hadn’t spoken to anyone so decided to send a text to Sam.
We’re okay, sorry to not be in touch. I’ll call soon. Brooke x
I copied the text to the girls. I knew they rang constantly and I was touched by their concern.
After what seemed like an age, I heard the bedroom door open and close. Shoes clipped up the wooded stairs and Katrina rounded the corner. Both Robert and I stood.
“How is he?” I asked, concern etched in my voice.
“He’s sleepy, emotional, of course. He didn’t want to tell me too much. He’s holding back and being very guarded at the moment.”
“Guarded?”
“Yes, there are things, I’m guessing, he doesn’t want me to know. I think I need to build his trust a little before he really opens up. Or perhaps, Mr. Stone, you need to give him affirmation that he can talk.”
She stared at Robert.
“I’ve never told my son he can’t speak freely, and I resent that implication.”
“Okay, shall we have a moment of truth? You’re a successful businessman surrounded by rumour. Your son is kidnapped yet you’re able to arrange his recovery without the intervention of the police. I spent most of my childhood in Moscow, Mr. Stone. My father was, and still is, a very wealthy man in what is, regardless of what the rest of the world thinks, a communist and extremely poor country. I suspect you’re in the same line of business.”
It was at times like that that I wished, again, for the ticking of the clock, anything to break the silence that followed.
“My son was kidnapped by a family, and by that I suspect you know what I mean. It was in retaliation for a death, a life for a life. There was no intention to kill my son. He was used to draw me to a venue. Obviously the plan didn’t work but he saw me on my knees with a gun being held to my head. He did not witness what happened after. My son has no idea, to my knowledge, what line of business I’m in.”
“I think your son knows more than you imagine he does,” she replied. “But thank you, at least I understand the circumstances. I also understand his attachment to you at the moment. The impression I’m getting is that he is more focused on what happened to you than he is being the victim of a kidnapping.”
Katrina stood and gathered her bag. “I’d like to see him again tomorrow, perhaps at the home, same time?”
Robert nodded.
“Let me show you out,” I said.
We walked down the stairs to the front door. I was surprised to see a sporty two-door car on the driveway. Somehow I imagined her to drive something more conservative, something more fitting to her professional persona.
“My mid-life crisis, Brooke,” she said with a smile, having seen me staring at the car.
“Thank you for coming, and I’m not entirely sure what to say about that exchange upstairs.”
“I needed to know for sure. I’m here to help your son. If I don’t know the facts, it hinders us both. We all have skeletons, Brooke. Occasionally they need to be exposed for us to move forward.”
****
Travis made his way from the garage. I was standing at the door having watched Katrina drive away.
“How’s Harley?” I called out. He walked towards me.
“Was that Katrina? I wanted to speak to her,” he replied.
“It was. I thought she was going to chat to you. How is he, Trav?”
“Not good today. He doesn’t want to leave the apartment, and he doesn’t want to see Gerry. I don’t know why.”
“We learned a couple of things yesterday. Katrina said that victims of trauma could go one of two ways. They can bond with fellow victims or not want to ever see them again because it brings back memories. Do you think that might be the case with Harley?”
“The bonding or the not bonding?”
“The not bonding. Maybe seeing Gerry will provoke memories he doesn’t want.”
“Possibly. He’s not giving me a definite answer as to why he doesn’t want to come out and I’m not pushing at the moment.”
“Might be best to leave him a day or so and see how he feels then.”
“So, how did Gerry get on?” he asked, following me into the house to join Robert and Evelyn.
“He’s sleeping at the moment. She feels he’s guarded, he doesn’t know what to tell her. But it was an interesting conversation. I’ll let Robert fill you in. I want to check on him,” I said.
Travis made his way upstairs and I gently opened Gerry’s door. He was lying on the bed but with his eyes open.
“Hi, darling. I thought you were sleeping,” I said.
“I pretended to be, is that bad?”
“No, but can I ask why?”
“I didn’t want to answer her questions. I like her but I didn’t want to talk.”
“That’s okay. You talk when you’re ready to, you know that.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you want to talk to me about it?”
“You saw dad, they were going to kill him, and I couldn’t do anything to stop them.”
“Oh, baby, it wasn’t your job to stop them. You’re only nine years old, Gerry. Sometimes we have to accept that we can’t help and it’s okay. Dad was fine, they were never going to kill him. It was just to scare us.”
“Why would they do that?”
“Because they are bad people,” I knew I would struggle if he continued along that theme.
“But they’re gone now, aren’t they? Dad got rid of them.”
“Yes, they’re gone now.” I ignored the Dad got rid of them comment.
Gerry nodded, his brow was furrowed in concentration as he processed the words, I guessed.
“They’re not coming back?”
“No, Gerry, they’re not coming back.”
“And dad’s not gonna be killed?”
“Your dad was never going to be killed. We need you to understand that.”
He thought for a moment.
“Okay, so can I go upstairs now?”
“Of course you can. Come on. Dad and Evelyn will be pleased to see you.”
I took his hand and led him from the room. I was under no illusion he was all of a sudden over his exper
ience but if he could resolve one thing in this mind, it was one less thing for Katrina to work on.
“Hey, buddy,” I heard as I reached the top steps.
Gerry sat beside Robert and I was reminded of their similarities. Forget looks—they couldn’t be further apart there—but the way they moved, the way they inclined their heads when listening, the way they smiled, was identical.
Evelyn pottered around the kitchen preparing an early dinner for us. It would be the first real meal I had eaten in days and I found, to my surprise, my stomach grumbled at the smell of her famous pasta sauce.
“How is Franco getting to the airport?” I asked.
“Gary is going to take him, but he’ll come over before he leaves, I’m sure.”
“I texted him a moment ago to see if he wanted dinner. He’s eating with Travis though,” Evelyn said.
Was Franco avoiding us as well?
Robert and I glanced at each other. I wondered whether the sight of Rocco was causing problems for him, whether he might struggle to face Evelyn knowing what he did. It was one thing to know the man was still alive, another to have a conversation and then meet him. My thoughts drifted to Rocco.
As much as Robert was a commanding man, a man definitely capable of intimidating, Rocco was more. He wasn’t as tall or as well built as Robert but just his presence had everyone in that room that day metaphorically on their knees.
I watched Evelyn smile. I watched her cook dinner for her family knowing the only man she ever loved, the man that stopped her marrying another, was alive and well. Not only that, he had been no more than a few miles away from her and my heart broke.
I wasn’t convinced it was a secret I could take to the grave but I didn’t want to be the one to shatter her world either.
****
Dinner had been eaten. Gerry had showered and was sitting in bed with Robert beside him. Evelyn had left for her apartment, leaving me sitting on my own at the breakfast bar. I was happy to let Robert have some time with Gerry, but I was forcing myself to sit where I was. I knew the notion that I didn’t want to let Gerry out of my sight was one I had to overcome for his sake and mine. He was safe, he was in a locked house surrounded by security, and I had to trust that.
I was lost in my thoughts when Robert joined me.
“Is he okay?” I asked. I’d lost count the amount of times I’d asked that question.
“He fell asleep quick. I guess today has worn him out.”
“What do we do tomorrow? Do we take him to the home or ask Katrina to come here?”
“I think we take him. I don’t know if it’s too early for him, or you, to want to leave the house but the quicker we can get him back into a normal routine, that has to be good.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Are you ready to face the world? I don’t mean out for lunch or a party, just out of the house in general. Are you confident that he will be safe?”
“I don’t know is the honest answer.”
“Let me rephrase. Do you believe I can keep him safe? I can keep you safe?”
Save for the pulse beating rapidly in his neck, there was no other sign he was anxious for the right answer.
“Yes. Yes, I believe you can keep us safe,” I said.
His shoulders sagged as the tension he had clearly been harbouring was released.
“Thank fuck for that.”
It was my turn to spend the night in Gerry’s room. Although he had shown some improvement during the day, it was through the night where he was the most disturbed. I lay awake for hours thinking on what Robert had said. It had been important for him to know I trusted our safety with him.
I thought about Franco and Evelyn, Travis and Harley, and sent a quiet prayer up that we’d all be able to move forward with as little damage as possible. As I laid awake with my thoughts, Gerry started to whimper. I immediately ran my hand through his hair and whispered to him, hoping to calm him before the nightmare escalated. I had to remind myself that it had only been a matter of days. The memory was still so fresh in his mind and as much as he distracted himself from that during the day, he had no control over them at night.
****
I dressed after my shower, patting concealer under my eyes to disguise the dark circles after an almost sleepless night. Twice Gerry had cried out. As a result, I’d never fully fallen asleep, just dozed. I felt and looked completely drained.
Gerry was sitting upstairs with Robert waiting on me for breakfast. We’d yet to tell him he was going to the home for his session with Katrina, and I began to feel a little nervous about it. What if he didn’t want to leave the house? What if I panicked halfway through the journey? What if something happened?
I had to get the ‘what ifs’ from my mind. I had to focus on working through my anxiety for fear of that being transferred to Gerry. I planted on a fake smile as I climbed the stairs and joined them.
“What do you have there?” I asked.
“Dad made me some toast,” Gerry replied.
I surveyed the mess. A simple plate of toasted bread warranted two knives, three plates, crumbs spread across most of one countertop and smeared peanut butter over the dishcloth.
Throwing the dishcloth in the bin, I retrieved another and cleaned up. Robert sat with his coffee and I poured myself some tea.
“Not sure mom’s impressed,” I heard Robert say.
It was a standard joke in the house. Robert made the mess, I pretended to be cross and Gerry found it highly amusing. To hear him chuckle was a delight. To feel some form of normality return was wonderful.
“We thought it might be nice to talk to Katrina at the home. You can catch up with the boys,” I said as I sat.
There was a pause and Gerry stared at his toast. Robert glanced over his head to me.
“I reckon that might be fun, maybe play a little soccer,” Robert added.
“Will you play with me?” Gerry asked, his voice seemed quieter than normal.
Robert never played football. “If you want me to, but you know I’m not very good.”
“You won’t leave me alone, will you?” he asked.
I glanced at Robert that time.
“No, of course not. You don’t have to play soccer. We can chat with Katrina and then leave,” Robert said.
“That would be better.”
I sipped my tea, Robert finished his coffee and Gerry munched on his toast in silence. The home was a secure place with gates and a high wall as a boundary, but maybe it was too soon.
I heard the car pull onto the drive and knew Gary had arrived. Unsure of what to do, I checked my watch. We had an hour before Gerry’s appointment, enough time to change the location but was that the right thing to do?
The decision was taken from me. Robert stood and slipped his phone in his jean pocket.
“Time to go, buddy,” he said.
Gerry slid off the stool, not as quick as he would normally, and instead of the usual bounding and jumping down the stairs, I heard a slow descent to collect his sneakers.
“He doesn’t want to go,” I said.
“I know but I think he has to. I think he has to get out the house and know nothing is going to happen to him.”
“Maybe. If he freaks, we turn around though, deal?”
“Deal.”
****
Gerry would normally rush to the car and position himself against the window. That day he walked slowly and stood slightly back from the door. I climbed in and he followed, shuffling to the middle of the rear seat and leaving the door open. He looked at Robert, who would normally ride up front. Without the need for words, Robert climbed in the back. I guessed it made Gerry feel more secure to be sandwiched between us.
I didn’t want the drive to be in silence. I didn't want any tension to mount so we talked about the landscape that flew past the window, the river under the bridge out to Arlington, anything to keep Gerry occupied. Before I knew it, we were pulling up to the gates, which were slowly opening.
Ted was at the front door as we parked. He walked towards the car and opened the rear door.
“Well, look who we have here,” he said in his gruff voice.
Gerry smiled; he had a special bond with Ted.
“I’m here to see Katrina,” he replied.
I thought it strange that he’d said that, as if he wanted Ted to know that was the only reason we were at the home.
“No soccer today then? The boys will be disappointed. I delayed their match because they were waiting on you. Arguing like mad they were, fighting over whose side you were going on because they know you are the best player. I’ll tell them to start anyway.”
We’d climbed out of the car and were making our way to the front door. Gerry looked over to some of the boys practicing with the football on the lawn.
“Tell them to wait for me,” he said.
I smiled at Ted who gave me a wink back. He should have been a therapist himself.
I ushered Gerry to Katrina who was waiting by her office door hoping she’d see him earlier than the appointed time. I wasn’t comfortable that we were not part of his sessions. Robert had stayed outside to talk to Ted, and once I saw the therapy room door close, I joined them.
“How are you doing, girl?” Ted asked.
“Okay, sort of,” I replied.
“First day out of the house?” I nodded. “Bet you’re scared shitless, huh?”
“Yes,” I said with a chuckle.
“You’ll be fine. The boy will be fine if you just give him time. Now, I want you to look at some school reports, Robert.”
Robert and Ted made their way into the house and I walked over to some of the boys. They surrounded me, asking questions about why Gerry wasn’t playing football, could I talk Ted in to letting them go to the movies and there was a new game they wanted. Their chatter cheered me up. They asked me the same questions every time I saw them. It was as if I had some superpower to get them whatever they wanted.
Gary had been to fetch me a coffee and I sat on the bench in the garden and watched the boys play.
“For what he’s been through, he seems to be doing fine. Is he?” Gary asked.
“I think a lot of what we see is him putting on a front. He has nightmares, two or three a night, which I expect. He doesn’t really talk to us about what happened other than to ask if Robert is going to die.”
Fallen Angel, Part 4 - A Mafia Romance: Fallen Angel Series Page 16