Longing had his entire body clenching. Breathing deeply, he forced himself to relax again, to appear expressionless. Because he knew if he gave away the depths of his need and longing, she’d be frightened.
“All right,” she drawled, by way of greeting. “What was so important that it couldn’t wait for another day?”
He cleared his throat, and then dove right in.
“I need to hire someone to help out with my dad.” His tone matter-of-fact, he held her gaze. “I need to work, at least part-time, and I can’t leave him alone. I was hoping you’d consider it.”
At first she didn’t respond, didn’t say anything, only continued to watch him from those bright blue eyes of hers.
“It’s a paying job,” he offered, deciding not to bother trying to pretend he wanted someone else to do it. “I thought I’d ask you first, since I know you could use the income.”
She looked down and heaved a sigh. “I do need the money, but I don’t think I’d be the right person for the job.”
He hadn’t expected her to decline. “Why not?” he pressed. “You used to want to become a nurse. You might still go to nursing school one day. This would be good practice.”
Hurt and disbelief flashed across her face. “That’s not likely to happen.”
“You’re not too old,” he argued. “In four years you’ll only be thirty-one. That’s not too old.”
“No, it’s not. But you’re forgetting a few things. Eli is only eleven. I can’t leave him alone with Mom. It’ll be a long while before I’d be able to go to school. Assuming I could even afford it, which I can’t.”
His heart hurt for her. All her dreams had been put on hold, her entire life shattered, because some murderous SOB had taken her sister’s life a decade ago.
His dad had paid, too. Paid for something he hadn’t done. So help him, the police had better catch the right person this time.
“I really need the help,” he reiterated. “I can’t be with him twenty-four hours a day.” He was telling the truth. If Hailey wouldn’t do it—and he prayed she would—he’d have to hire a stranger.
“What about hospice?” Hailey asked. “I thought they came out periodically and relieved you.”
“Two or three times a week. That’s not nearly enough.”
She wanted to say no, he could tell. But he knew how badly she needed money. “I’m willing to pay fifteen dollars an hour.” He threw that out there, hoping it would help her make up her mind.
Her sigh told him how much it cost her not to say yes. She tilted her head, considering, which sent a quick flare of hope through him.
“What are the hours? Because I have to take the kids to school in the morning, and pick them up after.”
“We can work around that.” He thought for a second. “Nine to two? That’s five hours a day. Would that be good for you?”
Still considering, she frowned. He could see her doing the math in her head. “That’s seventy-five dollars a day.” Shock rang in her voice. “And if I worked five days a week, that’d be three-hundred seventy-five a week. How could you afford that?”
“If it makes my father’s life easier, it’s worth it.” He meant his words. “And I make much more than that doing my work. But I should warn you, if you’re considering doing it, that it won’t be easy. My father is already very sick. Right now, his pain level is manageable. I’m not sure how long that will be the case.”
Clearly torn, she swallowed hard. “I can’t do any heavy lifting. You’d have to help me with that.”
“I would, of course.”
Again she went silent. He knew that kind of money would go a long way toward putting food on her table. And possibly more.
“Maybe Eli could finally join Little League,” he said. “That extra money might enable you to pay for that.”
“No.” Mouth set in a grim line, her chin came up. “Don’t you bring him into this. I don’t want him getting his hopes up. If I let him do Little League, Tara will want to be a cheerleader. And Tom’s been wanting to join the band and play trumpet. It wouldn’t be fair to give to one and not the others. So, no, the extra money will go to pay the bills and buy groceries.”
Stunned, he nodded, well aware he couldn’t let her see how badly he wanted to offer to pay for them all to do those things. “Sorry. I didn’t think.”
Her shrug was meant to make him feel better. “You’ve never had three kids. I think you learn this kind of stuff through experience.”
It obviously escaped her that she didn’t actually have three kids either. But he supposed in her mind, it was sort of the same thing. She also took care of her mother. Now he was asking her to add one more person.
Still, it was better than scrambling around town looking for odd jobs and part-time work, he thought.
“I’m going to have to refuse. I just don’t think it would work.”
Shocked, he swallowed hard, trying like hell not to let his disappointment show on his face. He hadn’t expected an outright refusal. “Do you mind telling me why?”
Her sideways look told him she thought he shouldn’t have to ask. “Because it’s your father. Because of what he did.”
Her words brought a wave of pain so intense he had to briefly close his eyes. “I could swear to you on a stack of bibles that he’s innocent, and you still wouldn’t believe him, would you?”
“I...I don’t know.” She hesitated. Once, she would have offered an instant confirmation. “But as long as I don’t know for sure, I don’t think I can be around him.”
Damn. “He’s dying, Hailey.” His voice broke. “He’s dying and I love him. That ought to be enough.” He wanted it to be. Oh, how he wanted it to be.
“I don’t know that I can care for the man who killed my sister.” She swallowed. “I’m sorry.”
“He didn’t.” Though he knew his defense would fall on deaf ears, he had to give it a shot. “There was no real evidence. He had an indifferent attorney, and the police just wanted to close the case.”
“Maybe so, but unless reopening the case shows me otherwise, I have no proof he didn’t do it.” She came closer, her earnest expression breaking his heart. “I’m sorry, Mac. If I think of anyone who could do the job, I’ll have them call you.”
He shouldn’t have been so shattered, but he was. And even so, as she turned and walked back the way she’d come, he struggled with the urge to call her back, to ask her to take the weekend and think it over.
Had the rift between them grown so deep that there would never be a way to bridge it?
Once she’d gone out of sight, he climbed into his truck and started the engine. He still needed help. He’d wanted it to be her, but if she wouldn’t do it, he’d have to find somebody else.
And figure out another way to get Hailey to give him a chance.
* * *
All the way back up her long, winding drive, Hailey berated herself. She didn’t have the luxury of turning down work, especially work that paid so much. And this was Mac, who’d once been her everything, asking for her help.
Yet Gus... She considered Mac’s words. What if the truth she’d believed for ten years wasn’t really factual? What if Mac was right, and Gus hadn’t committed the awful murder? Was there any sliver of reality in what Mac said, or had this just been a desperate attempt of a man to reconcile his love for his father with the possibility that Gus might be a monster?
She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure she’d ever know.
As she rounded the last corner and the house came into sight, her heart sank. June sat in the driver’s seat of their one car, vainly trying to start the engine. Instead of a motor coming to life, every time she turned the key there was a clicking sound.
“Hey.” June looked up as Hailey approached. “It’s Friday night and I’m ready to party. But
the car won’t start. We either need a new battery or the alternator is gone.”
Hailey winced. She’d just bought groceries and paid the electric bill. She had maybe five dollars left to her name, at least until she found some other work. Maybe she could pick up a shift waitressing in the café. Sometimes Jed Rogers would take pity on her and let her fill in when one of his waitresses called in sick.
Except without a car, how would she get into town to work?
She eyed her mother. “I don’t suppose you have money to get that fixed?”
June started shaking her head before Hailey had even finished speaking. “My check doesn’t come until next week,” she drawled, not sounding the least bit concerned. “I don’t have a dime.”
Except somehow, from somewhere, she managed to come up with enough cash to buy a bottle or two. Hailey had searched numerous times, trying to find out where her mom hid her stash of cash, but so far the location eluded her.
“I don’t either.” Throat tight, Hailey refused to cry. This was the last straw. “I guess we’re going to have to do without a car until we can come up with some money.” Except she knew they couldn’t, not past the weekend. Not only did she take the kids to school, but she picked them up. Eli’s elementary school was close enough that he could ride his bike, but the twins’ middle school was several miles away. She dreaded informing them that they’d need to ride the bus. They’d steadfastly refused every time she’d tried to suggest it, hinting how much money they could save on gas. Apparently to a fourteen-year-old, riding the school bus was the height of dorkiness.
Ah, well. They wouldn’t have a choice if she didn’t have a vehicle.
For the first time, June appeared slightly concerned. After all, how could she hang out at her bar without a way to get there? Then, staring at Hailey, her expression smoothed out, and her frown disappeared. “You’ll figure something out,” she said. “You always do.”
Hailey shook her head and turned to go inside. Even though she was the daughter, she and her mother’s roles had become reversed. Hailey was the one who worried if they had enough food, if she’d be able to clothe the children and keep the electricity and water turned on.
Now this.
There was no way she could turn down Mac’s job offer now. More evidence of a hard truth she’d come to learn at an early age. Sometimes one had to swallow their pride in order to survive.
Chapter 5
The kitchen was empty. Hailey wasn’t surprised. After her talk with them and insistence that they finish their homework at the table together, the instant she’d gone to meet Mac, the kids had scattered like leaves in the wind. For now, this suited her purpose. She didn’t want any witnesses to her calling up Mac and eating a huge slice of humble pie.
The surprise in his voice when he answered his phone nearly coaxed a smile from her. He listened to her rambling apology without commenting, which she appreciated.
“So what I’m saying is that I’ve thought about it, and I’ve changed my mind,” she said, winding down. “I’d like to accept your kind offer of a job. I can start Monday. I’ll need the weekend to do personal things around the house.”
“Fine.” His immediate acceptance lightened the tightness in her chest, just the teeniest bit.
Except she had to ask for more. “There’s just one problem. My car has broken down, and I don’t have the money to fix it. I hate to ask this, but is there any way I could get an advance on my first paycheck?”
Again, he didn’t even hesitate. “Sure. I’m not home yet. I’ll turn the truck around and come and take a look at it.”
She almost refused, envisioning her mother’s reaction to Mac showing up. But then she didn’t. She was tired of worrying about what everyone else would think while she was desperately trying to hold this family together. If her mother didn’t like it, then tough. Hailey had simply had enough.
Right now, her number one priority would be getting the car running again.
When she went back outside to wait for Mac, June had gone. She must have slipped inside using the front door and headed straight to her room. That was the only way she could have bypassed the kitchen, which meant she hadn’t wanted her daughter to see her. Whatever.
Hailey climbed up to sit on the hood of the car to wait for Mac to return.
When his truck turned off the road onto her drive, she took several deep breaths to calm her racing heart. She actually felt a bit rebellious, because she was tired of being the only one to do everything around there. She resolved to start making the kids pitch in more, and to try a little harder to get June to stop drinking. In the past, every attempt had been met with scorn and derision, and then outright rage. Her mother would then use the argument as a springboard to an excuse to drink even more. Hailey had finally given up and backed off.
Perhaps the time had come to make some changes around here.
And maybe, just maybe, she could give Mac a second chance.
As soon as she had that thought, she shut it down. She’d survived a lot of pain in her life. She wasn’t sure she could handle opening up to him again.
* * *
Luckily for her, it had only been a dead battery, not something more serious like an alternator. Mac had not only purchased a new battery, but put it in himself. She’d taken quiet enjoyment in watching him work. The car had started immediately.
She’d stammered out a thank-you, but he’d waved her off, promising he’d deduct the cost from her first paycheck. Then, with a promise to see her at nine on Monday, he’d driven off.
The weekend passed uneventfully. Hailey cleaned, precooked meals and froze them, and did laundry. The kids played, occasionally lending her a hand, and her mother partied and slept. When Sunday night rolled around, Hailey glanced at the clock and debated. Soon it would be time to make everyone’s lunches for tomorrow’s school day. She always did that the night before. This time, she decided against it. The time had come for the kids to make their own lunches.
The next morning, she got up and did her normal things. She’d supervised the kids packing their own lunches the night before, but she still fixed them breakfast and waited while they ate before she’d load them up in the once-again-running car to take them to school.
Though Hailey tried hard to act as if nothing had changed, nervousness simmered just below the surface. She wiped her sweaty palms down the front of her jeans, attempting to keep smiling as she watched her siblings eat the oatmeal she’d prepared.
She dropped Eli off first. He hopped out of the car with his usual enthusiasm, waving as he hurried up the sidewalk to his school. His backpack almost looked bigger than him.
“It’s heavy, too,” Tom said after she’d voiced this observation. “I don’t know what the heck he has in it, bricks?”
“Books, dummy,” Tara corrected, elbowing her twin. “Not something you’d know anything about.”
“Hey.” He elbowed her back, harder.
“Stop it, you two.” Luckily, it only took a few minutes to drive to the middle school. Grumbling, they subsided, each looking out their respective windows and doing their best to pretend the other didn’t exist.
“Here we are,” Hailey sang as she pulled up in front of the two-story brick building. “Both of you have a great day.”
“I doubt that. We’re in school,” Tom pointed out, reluctantly climbing out of the car. He strode up the sidewalk without a backward glance, clearly not waiting for his sister.
Tara didn’t move. “Hailey, what’s wrong?” she asked. “And don’t say nothing, because you stink at hiding things.”
Surprised, Hailey turned to look into the backseat. “Neither of your brothers noticed anything.”
“That’s because they’re boys.” Disdain dripped from Tara’s tone. “They don’t notice anything. Come on, Hailey. Spill. I’m your siste
r.”
Her much younger sister, who’d already thought matchmaking Hailey with Mac would be a great idea.
“I’m fine,” Hailey said. “I start a new job today. Hoping to pick up a bit more cash.”
Tara nodded. “I can’t wait until I can work so I can help out.”
Her words squeezed Hailey’s heart.
“I can.” Hailey jerked her head toward the building. “Now get on inside or you’re going to be late.”
With an exaggerated sigh, Tara grabbed her backpack and climbed out. Hailey sat and watched until she disappeared inside the building. Then, with her stomach in knots and her heart beating way too fast, she pulled out of the school parking lot and headed toward Mac’s house. Once there, after she parked, she sat in her car for a moment, trying to get up her nerve.
She’d never been a coward. Why start now? Taking a deep breath, she straightened her spine, yanked the keys from the ignition, and got out. She kept her stride brisk, marching up his sidewalk and up the steps to his front porch. Straightening her shoulders, she rapped smartly on his door, quickly, before she changed her mind.
When Mac opened the door, tall and broad-shouldered and way too ruggedly handsome, his slow smile was just like she remembered. The answering tingle in the pit of her stomach made her remember she never could resist that smile.
“Hailey.” Closing the door behind him, he stepped outside to join her. Until he knew what she had to say, he didn’t want to take a chance of his father hearing anything. “I wasn’t entirely positive you’d show up. I have to admit I’m glad to see you.”
Again her insides fluttered. Damn, he was charming. That was what her mother used to call Mac, back in the day when they were all normal, and life seemed uncomplicated.
And happy. She remembered her siblings’ words.
“I think we should talk before I start work.” Driving over here, she had told herself she would be cool, calm and collected. All of that resolve vanished with one molten look from his silver-colored eyes.
“Ok.” He gestured at the porch swing, still hanging on the other end of the front porch. Years of neglect had chipped the paint, and the chains had rusted, but it still looked solid.
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