by Marie Force
God, she was tempted. It would be so easy to spill her guts to the sweet, sexy guy who made it so easy to trust him. He wouldn’t tell anyone. She knew that for sure, but she didn’t want him to know either. She didn’t want his pity or even his empathy, and she sure as hell didn’t want him feeling obligated to her in any way. “That’s very sweet of you, but it’s the last thing in the world I want to talk about.”
“The offer is on the table. No expiration date.”
“Thank you.” Crushing disappointment overtook Chloe as she realized that not only was he the sexiest man she’d ever met, but that he’d also make one hell of a friend. She wanted him in every way she could have him—as a lover, a friend, a confidant and a partner.
But the persistent ache in her hands and joints was a reminder of why she couldn’t go there with him. He could have anyone. Chloe couldn’t bear the idea of making her problems his problems. She shouldn’t even be taking him home with her and cursed the weakness that had led to their plans for the evening.
She couldn’t have him long term, but she could have him tonight, and with everything else so uncertain, she planned to fully enjoy this one night with him. A nagging worry crept into her mind… What did he think would happen after they spent tonight together?
“Finn…”
“Hmm?”
“You know this is only tonight, right?”
He didn’t say anything at first, making her wonder what he was thinking.
“I don’t understand why it has to be that way, Chloe. There’s something between us. You feel it every bit as much as I do.”
“I’m not denying that. It’s just that there are things…”
“What things? There’s nothing you could tell me that would make me not want this or you. Nothing.”
Her laugh had a bitter edge to it. That wasn’t true. He was twenty-seven years old with his entire life ahead of him. The last thing he needed was to be saddled with what was ahead for her.
“Make me understand, Chloe.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I have never once felt for any woman what I do for you, and I barely know you. When I tell you there’s nothing you could say that would change that for me, I mean it. I truly mean it.”
“I know you do.”
“And still you won’t tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just…” She was still coming to grips with it herself and had no idea how to bring other people into it. Perhaps it was time to take David’s advice and seek out professional help in dealing with her diagnosis, because she was doing a piss-poor job of dealing with it on her own. If only the island’s shrink wasn’t Finn’s father. However, she was becoming desperate enough for some coping skills that she might have to reach out to Dr. McCarthy. Doctor-patient confidentiality would force him to keep her secrets, even if his own son was involved. “I’m not able to talk about it. I’m just not.”
He sighed. “Okay.”
“I’m sorry that it can’t be more, and I’ll understand if you’d rather not hang out tonight.”
“Unless you’re sending me away, I’m staying.”
“I’m not sending you away.”
* * *
Finn had never been more torn between what he wanted and what was best for him. Spending tonight with her was what he wanted more than he’d ever wanted anything, but he knew it wasn’t in his best interest to get more involved with a woman who continued to hold him at arm’s length even as she invited him into her bed.
For the first time in his charmed life, he ran the risk of heartbreak, and even knowing that, he couldn’t stay away from her.
They arrived at her house, and as he followed her inside, he reminded himself of what this was—and what it wasn’t. One night. That was all she’d offered, and he needed to keep reminding himself of that. He would take his lead from her.
Ranger came shuffling out to greet them, and Chloe bent at the waist to give her baby a kiss on the top of his head.
Finn’s gaze was drawn to her ass until she straightened, turned and caught him looking. He smiled sheepishly. “The view was too great to pass up.”
Smiling, she let the dog out into the backyard and returned to where Finn stood in the middle of her kitchen. “You sure do know how to make a girl feel good about herself.”
Resting his hands on her hips, he dropped his forehead to lean against hers. “If you’re judging by how I see you, you should feel spectacular about yourself. You are, hands down, the sexiest, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” He kissed her softly, lingering against the cushion of blueberry-flavored lips. “From the purple streaks in your hair to the ink on your arm to this little gem.” He kissed the glittering stud in her nose. “Everything about you does it for me. You’re so fucking sexy, you take my breath away. And just so you know, I love talking to you as much as I love looking at you.” So much for keeping things in check, he thought, as he bared his soul to her.
She curled her arms around his neck and drew him into a sizzling, frantic kiss, fueled by the pent-up need that had been building between them since the day they met. Her mouth opened to his tongue, and the brush of hers against his combined to create the single most erotic moment of his life thus far. One kiss had him hard and ready for more.
Ranger barked outside the door, and still the kiss went on until he barked again, more sharply this time, and they pulled apart, laughing and breathless.
“Hold that thought,” she said as she went to let in the dog and lock the door.
“It’s the only thought in my head at the moment.”
As she returned to him, she eyed the erection he couldn’t hide, licked her lips and looked up at him with violet eyes full of vulnerability that made him ache with wanting her—all of her. Not just her body, but her heart and soul, too. That was most certainly a first for him.
She took his hand, led him from the kitchen and shut off the light on the way out of the room.
Finn followed her down the hallway to her bedroom, still not entirely sure he believed this was really going to happen. It was like a dream in some ways. Despite all the reasons why he knew it couldn’t be, it felt like the most significant thing that had ever happened to him. If he shared that thought with her, she’d surely tell him to leave. So he kept it to himself and waited for her to show him what she wanted.
She turned so her back was to him. “Will you unzip me?”
His fingers were all thumbs as he dragged the zipper down her back while trying to remember to breathe. She made him feel like a teenager about to get laid for the first time—a thought that made him chuckle as he skimmed his lips over the curve of her neck.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m actually nervous. Reminds me of the time Mary Jane O’Connor took me down to the basement of her parents’ house and made a man out of me. I had no idea what I was doing then, and I feel the same way now.”
Holding the dress up with a hand to her chest, she turned to him. “Do I need to be concerned about this Mary Jane O’Connor?” She raised a brow to go with the teasing tone of her question.
“Baby, you don’t need to be concerned about anyone.” His gaze dropped to the hand that held up her dress, noting the swollen knuckles that caused her such pain. He hated that for her. Then she removed her hand, and the dress fell to the floor, leaving her bare except for a strapless bra and what looked to be a thong.
On her chest, a tattoo of a fairy with a wand sprinkled hearts down over the plump crests of her breasts.
His mouth went dry as he kissed each one of the tiny hearts that he could reach.
She reached up to push the coat off his shoulders and began unbuttoning his dress shirt.
When he noticed her fingers weren’t working the way she wanted them to, he pulled the shirt and T-shirt he wore under it over his head and tossed them aside.
Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of his bare chest. “Holy moly,” she whispered as she dragged her fingertips over the hills and val
leys of his chest and abdomen. “I’d heard something about an eight-pack.”
Hard physical labor kept him in excellent shape, and her obvious appreciation made him even harder than he already was. Not to mention, she’d been gathering info about him.
She tugged on his belt, groaning in frustration when it didn’t come loose for her.
Finn took over, releasing the belt and the button and unzipping, which gave him some badly needed room to breathe.
She stared at him in awe that made him feel like Superman. “I don’t know where to touch you first.”
“I can give you some pointers, if that would help.”
She giggled, and the lighthearted sound of it made him smile. He wanted to hear more of that giggle.
With her hands flat on his back, she dragged them down and into the back of his pants to cup his ass. When she gave a little squeeze, he nearly passed out as half the blood in his body headed south in one massive wave of need. Then she pushed his pants down, laughing again when they got caught on his hard cock.
“This is no time for laughter,” he said in a teasingly stern tone. Being undressed by her trumped the kiss in the kitchen to become the most erotic experience of his life. “You’ve got me on the verge of losing it, and you’re laughing.”
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You’re here, you’re breathing, you’re touching me, and you’re mostly naked.”
She looked up at him. “That’s all it takes?”
“With you, it takes even less than that. All you have to do is be in the room, and I’m a goner.”
“Finn…”
“I know.” He kissed her, released the clasp on her bra and looked down in time to watch it fall away, revealing her gorgeous breasts to him. “One night. I heard you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want so much more than one night.” Before she could respond or object, he kissed her again, this time with more serious intent while allowing his hands to roam over her delicious curves. He cupped her firm ass and pulled her in tighter against the hard length of his erection, moving against her as he kissed her.
The press of her breasts against his chest had him gasping. If being around her had left him feeling electrified, being naked with her had him completely captivated.
Finn needed to slow things down, to find some semblance of control, so he put his arms around her and held on tight for a few critical minutes, focusing on breathing.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m so much better than okay.” Lowering her to the bed, Finn hovered over her, taking in the sight of gorgeous skin, the ink, the tight nipples and flat belly. “You’re a fucking goddess, Chloe.” He wanted to kiss her everywhere, but started with her collarbones, moving to the deep valley between her breasts and down to her belly.
Her hands tunneled into his hair, and her hips came off the bed, seeking him.
Cupping her breasts, he skimmed his tongue over her left nipple before drawing it deep into his mouth.
Her sharp cry of pleasure made him crazy for more.
Before this, he would’ve said of course he’d experienced real desire, but he would’ve been wrong. This was the real thing, and it was nothing like anything that had happened to him before. He focused exclusively on her, moving to her right nipple and then kissing his way down the front of her until he hovered over her core. All he could think about was giving her so much pleasure that she pleaded with him for more than just tonight. A pipe dream, maybe, but it was worth trying. He already knew that if this was all they ever had, the memories of this night would haunt him forever.
Tugging on the silk that covered her, he finally bared her completely. His heart jolted in a way that would’ve concerned him at any other time. He arranged her feet on the edge of the mattress and gently pushed them apart. As he leaned in, he noticed yet another small tattoo, a tiny flower right above the small patch of hair between her legs. He kissed the flower and then dropped to his knees to kiss the rest of her.
“Finn…” She sounded nervous, hesitant.
He couldn’t have that. “Relax, sweetheart. Let me love you.” Opening her to his tongue, he set out to ruin her for all other men. Nothing had ever been more important to him than what would happen tonight in this bed. If she still walked away, at least he would know he’d done everything he could to show her how incredible they could be together.
With his fingers and tongue, he stroked, caressed and sucked, keeping it up until she screamed her way through the first of what he hoped would be many orgasms. Moving quickly, he found a condom in his wallet, rolled it on and pushed into her, riding the last waves of her release.
Oh God… Oh my God. Hot, wet, tight. This has to be what heaven feels like.
Her hands on his ass pulling him deeper into her body were nearly his undoing.
With one deep thrust, he buried himself inside her and then froze when she cried out in pain. He immediately recognized the difference and withdrew. “What hurts?”
“My hip.” Her face flushed with embarrassment. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Should we try it another way?”
“No, it’s okay this way. Just go slow.”
“I can do that.” He moved into her again, watching her closely for any signs of distress and, not seeing any, held still, waiting for her to catch up to him. “Is this okay?”
“It’s so good.”
“Stop me if it hurts?”
She nodded, and when her lips parted, he leaned in to kiss her, wanting to be connected to her in every possible way. If only he could stay connected to her in every possible way—forever—he would never want for anything or anyone else. One minute inside her, and he got why his brother had lost his mind over Nikki, why his cousins were so slavishly devoted to their wives. If it was like this for them, he got it now. He would do anything, anything at all, to hold on to her forever now that he’d found her.
“Chloe,” he said, sounding as breathless as he felt, “you feel so good.”
“So do you.”
They moved together like they’d been doing this for years, but all the while, he watched for signs of discomfort. He wanted this to be as perfect for her as it was for him. He wanted it to go on forever, but when he felt her internal muscles clamp down on him, he reached between them to give her the push she needed.
She exploded, crying out and clawing at his back as he rode the waves of her climax straight into his own, the pleasure so sharp and all-consuming, he nearly passed out.
Holy. Shit.
As he came down on top of her, careful not to crush her, his mind raced with plans, scenarios, possibilities. He would do whatever it took to keep her right here in his arms where she belonged. If he lost her now, he’d never survive it.
Chapter 19
Having sex with Finn had been the biggest mistake she’d ever made. In fact, the minute he’d removed his shirt and revealed his magnificent chest and abdomen, she’d known this was going to be a huge mistake. She’d courted crushing heartbreak by allowing this to happen.
Here in her arms was the man of her dreams—handsome, sweet, funny, thoughtful, sexy as all get-out and tied to a family that anyone would want to be part of. He was the full package, and not for nothing, he had a rather full package.
The thought would’ve made her laugh if she hadn’t been trying so hard not to cry.
How could she have been so stupid as to think she could do this once, get him out of her system and move on with her life?
Instead, she’d allowed him so far inside her, she’d never again be free of him.
She ran her fingers through his hair, over and over again, because she could. Soon enough, this evening would be a distant memory to treasure when he had moved back to the mainland and she had gone on with her life, richer for having known him but always sad because she hadn’t been able to keep him.
“Am I crushing you?”
“Nope.” She would pay for this tomorrow, with aches and pains that would be exacerbated by the
physical activity. As her condition had worsened, she’d had to give up her workouts at the gym and the nature hikes she had enjoyed in order to conserve her stamina for the long days at the salon.
“Do you want me to go?”
“Not unless you want to.”
“I don’t want to.”
He wasn’t leaving yet, but he would leave in the morning, and that would be that. The ache in her chest was the most concerning of her many aches and pains.
She had survived worse, or so she told herself. It took effort not to become bitter at the various backhands life continued to hit her with. Hadn’t it been enough to lose her parents the way she had? Why did she have to keep being dealt such shitty cards to play? Too bad she wasn’t a selfish bitch. If she had been, then she could’ve gone all in with Finn by saying to hell with the consequences for both of them. So what if she ended up being a burden to him?
But that wasn’t how she was wired. Never had been. She had been looking out for herself for far too long to change now. No, her problems were her own, and she’d never inflict them on a sweet guy like Finn.
He stirred, brushing his lips against her neck. “I’ve got to get some water. You want anything?”
“Water sounds good. Glasses are to the right of the sink.”
He raised himself up on his arms, kissed her and withdrew.
Chloe watched him go first into the bathroom, noting that the rear view of him was almost as good as the front. Nothing was better than that face, those eyes, that thick dark hair… She shivered. He was the hottest guy she’d ever slept with, that was for damned sure.
The toilet flushed in the bathroom. As the light went on in the kitchen, she remembered that her medication was sitting on the windowsill where he was sure to see it.
“Damn it.”
* * *
As he downed a glass of water, Finn tried not to look, but curiosity got the best of him.
Methotrexate.
Prednisone.
He’d never heard of either of them, but they sounded serious. Staring at the prescription bottles, he began to understand what she wasn’t telling him. The situation with her hands was something more than aches and pains. And her hip, just now, when they’d been having sex…