by Bella Andre
“I’ve got a couple of pictures I can send,” he said to his caller, “but we were working on a car, and he’s not looking straight at the camera.” He paused. “Yeah. Sure. As soon as I hang up.”
They’d taken off half an hour ago, after Will had awakened the flight crew in the middle of the night and obtained clearance to fly within the hour. He had everyone back in San Francisco looking for Jeremy—his staff, the police, the detective.
But he couldn’t change the fact that they had to sit on this plane for almost ten hours. While Jeremy was out there. Alone.
What if something terrible had happened to him?
What if she never saw her brother again?
“Anything to report?” Will had his phone to his ear again as he signaled the steward, pointing at the coffee service on the sideboard and miming that the man should pour a cup for Harper. Even now, Will was taking care of her, taking care of everything.
“Call the minute you hear anything, find anything.”
She wanted to blame him. For making her come to London. For taking Jeremy out of the grocery store and into that job up in the city. She wanted to scream at him, shout that it was all his fault. If he’d never come into their lives, if he hadn’t seduced Jeremy with his cars and his friendship, if he hadn’t touched her, everything would have been fine. Had she been able to make the blame stick, she’d have done it in a heartbeat. She needed someone else to condemn so badly that she felt bile push up from her stomach.
But she couldn’t blame Will. She’d understood who and what he was right from the beginning. A man who knew what he wanted and hacked through whatever obstacles stood in his way.
This was her fault.
Hers alone.
She’d forgotten the one thing she knew to be true in her life—Jeremy had to come first. Her mother had drilled that into her long ago, after Jeremy had come out of the coma and they’d known he’d never be the same.
“Jeremy’s going to need all the help you can give, Harper. He needs you. And if anything ever happens to us, you’re going to have to take care of him.”
Harper had always done everything in her power to take care of her brother. Until now. Until she’d allowed herself to be wild and free.
To fall head over heels in love.
She was Jeremy’s guardian. She was all he had. But she’d let the rush of speed, and Will’s charm, blind her to her responsibilities.
Will didn’t know how Jeremy sometimes reverted to a frightened little boy. Will didn’t understand how utterly trusting her brother was. He would believe anything a stranger told him. Will had wanted to give him more freedom, more challenges. But she was the one who knew Jeremy’s limits. And she’d let it all happen.
She’d seduced herself with the attention, with the nights in Will’s arms, and she’d started wanting more than she should have. Started thinking she could actually have more.
The steward set their coffee down, with cream and sugar for her, black for Will. She looked at the milky coffee without picking it up, realizing that she’d forgotten the two china cups back in Will’s London penthouse. And she was glad, because they would always remind her that while she’d been off having wild sex in foreign lands, something bad had happened to her brother.
Will laid his phone on the table between them and turned the handle of his cup to pick it up, thanking the steward. When they were alone again, he said, “We’ve got a long flight. Why don’t you get some sleep in the cabin? I’ll stay by the phone.”
“I can’t sleep.” Her voice sounded dull and totally without emotion.
“There are some over-the-counter pills in the bathroom cabinet.” His eyes were weary, his brow lined with worry, his features sharp. “You haven’t slept much since we left San Francisco.”
She hadn’t. Because she’d been too busy making love with Will.
But she’d finally remembered her brother was her true duty. And she would never, ever let anything happen to Jeremy again. Because when they found him—God, please let me find him, I’ll do anything you want—things were going back to the way they had been before they’d ever met Will Franconi.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Harper’s silence made Will’s gut churn. He needed to know what she was thinking, what she was feeling. She meant everything to him—she and Jeremy both did—and he would give up literally every penny he had just to have her brother safe and sound again.
And to know that he hadn’t lost her love.
Right now, he was praying for at least one out of two to come true, since he couldn’t imagine Harper ever saying she loved him again. Not after he’d done the exact thing she’d been so frightened of...
“I’m so sorry, Harper. I shouldn’t have let this happen.”
The cords of her neck were taut, and her mouth thinned to a hard line. She was biting on the inside of her lip, as if she was trying to keep everything in.
He didn’t know what to do for her. He’d been so busy on the phone calling absolutely everyone he could think of to help that every other thought had been pushed out of his mind. But now there was nothing left to do but wait. Nothing left to say except that he’d screwed up royally.
Finally, she spoke. “This trip was ill-advised. I shouldn’t have agreed.” The coffee sat untouched in front of her, the steam fading, the cream rising to the top and coagulating.
He wanted to rewind back to the day he’d asked her to come with him. He shouldn’t have pushed her to come. He should have accepted her excuses. “We’ll find him, Harper. He’ll be okay.”
As if he hadn’t spoken, she continued, “Letting him go up to the city to work every day, where I wasn’t close by if he needed me—that was wrong, too.”
Will had loved the routine and Jeremy’s happy chatter when they’d picked up dinner on the way home to Harper. Those quiet evenings sitting with her on the sofa, her body tucked close to his, had been the best he’d ever known.
But she was regretting it all.
“He was better off at the grocery store,” she said in a firm tone. “He was better off with his regular routines.”
Will had been telling himself the same thing, that he should have had the clerk fired and left Jeremy where he was. Where everything was familiar to him. But no, he had to have what he wanted. He had to choose the method, the job, fix the problem. He had to stick his nose into her affairs.
And he’d screwed up every damn thing.
“I didn’t even call him.” Her voice was higher, harsher.
Every word out of her mouth killed another piece of him. “It’s not your fault, Harper. I was wrong. I didn’t think. We should have called him together.”
“I’m not blaming you.” Her cheeks were tinged an angry pink. “I’m talking about my choices. I should have listened to my instincts.”
Instead, she’d listened to his. And now, they were here, waiting, fearing.
Just that quickly, the anger, the hardness, the grim set of her mouth drained away, replaced by a pool of tears welling at the rims of her eyes. “Oh God, Will, what if something terrible has happened to him?”
“He’s going to be fine, Harper. We’ll find him.” But he knew they were useless words when they were stuck thirty thousand feet in the air.
And when her tears spilled over, he didn’t think, just instinctively rose, stepping around the table, to reach for her.
Her hands shot out and she pushed against his chest before he could even get close enough to put his arms around her. She whirled in the swivel chair, away from him, getting out on the other side as she scraped the tears off her cheeks.
Will froze. Every muscle, every organ, the breath in his lungs, the beat of his heart. He wanted to calm her, comfort her, take her in his arms and stroke her hair. He wanted to promise her that everything would be all right. But he’d already broken every promise he’d made to her, because Jeremy was gone.
“You’re right.” Each word was raw. Broken. “I should take a nap. Or at least lie
down for a while.”
“That’ll be good.” He could barely keep himself from begging her to let him hold her. To let him try to do whatever he could to take her pain away. “Take the pill. Then you won’t be lying there with a bunch of worries running through your mind.” It was a pathetic offer, and he felt as helpless as he’d been as a kid, with no right words to say, no action to take, nothing to do to fix things. “I’ll wake you with any news.”
If anything happened to her brother…
No, he couldn’t let himself think that way. He had to believe that Jeremy would be found, that he was fine, just as he’d told Harper. Because if Will allowed any other scenario into his head, he wouldn’t make it through the flight.
Harper walked to his cabin with slumped shoulders. Defeated. He’d done that to her. He’d done it to Jeremy. He thought he knew best. He planned and arranged and argued until he got what he wanted. He’d dragged her into his life when she clearly hadn’t wanted it, not in the beginning, at least. But he’d made her want it.
The bedroom door closed with a click he could hear over the jet engines, one that sounded so final. Like the lock closing back down on a heart that had only just been set free.
She’d lain in his arms last night and whispered that she loved him. But it hadn’t taken Will more than a couple of hours to show her that he didn’t deserve her love.
* * *
Harper didn’t think she’d sleep. Yet she was aware of nothing until Will stroked her arm. He sat beside her on the bed, his phone in his hand, not touching her except for that one brief caress.
“They found him. Your brother is all right. He’s just fine, Harper. Totally fine.”
She put a hand to her mouth to stifle the cry. The sudden wave of relief was physical, a warm rush of sensation that seemed to flow up from her belly and wrap around her heart. Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you. She’d been praying when she’d fallen asleep.
“He wants to talk to you.”
She grabbed the phone. “Jeremy?”
“Hi, Harper.” Jeremy’s voice was loud, as though he wasn’t still thousands of miles away.
“Are you okay?” Her pulse was like the roar of the jet engines in her ears.
“Yeah, Harper. I got lost. I was dumb.”
“You are not dumb, Jeremy.” She turned away from Will, rolling to her other side, hugging the phone close to her ear with two hands. “Where are you now?”
“I’m at the police station in San Francisco. Benny came to get me.”
“Good.”
“Are you mad at me?” came his plaintive question.
“No, sweetie, I’m not.” Later, when she’d come down off the relief high, she’d probably do a bit of yelling about how badly he’d scared her. But for now, she only cared that he was safe.
“Is Will mad?”
She didn’t turn, didn’t look at Will. “No, he’s not mad. But you’ll need to tell him you’re sorry.”
“Yes. Promise.” It reminded her of Will’s promises, and her heart ached. “Hey, Harper, I have to go. They brought pizza. I’m really hungry. I didn’t get to eat dinner.”
He wanted pizza. She wanted to cry. But he was all right. Everything was all right. “Okay, honey. You better get home and get some sleep. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Harper. Benny wants to talk to Will again, okay?”
“Sure, sweetie.” She held the phone over her shoulder, not looking, until Will took it. “Benny for you.” She lay there, her eyes closed, her back to him as she struggled to keep her breathing steady.
“We’ll get in around six in the morning your time,” Will said. “You can pick us up then.” He paused, listening. “Yeah. That’s fine. I’m sure Harper would like that.”
When he disconnected, she rolled back to him. “He sounds okay. But I have to see him for myself, make sure he’s fine.”
“I know.” Will’s eyes seemed sunken, with dark circles under them and lines on his face that hadn’t been there yesterday. “Jeremy wants to come when Benny picks us up. It’s probably better if he takes the day off school as well as work and goes home with you.”
“All right. That’s good.” She glanced at her watch, but she wasn’t sure whether she was on London or San Francisco time and she was too tired to figure it out. “How long before we’re there?”
“Six hours.”
She groaned. They weren’t even halfway there.
“Where was he? What happened?” She almost put a hand on Will’s arm, before she stopped herself. “He said he got lost.”
Will flexed his jaw. “He went to the Exploratorium.”
“The Exploratorium?” That didn’t even make sense. “But he was working.”
Will blinked. He didn’t move another muscle, not to touch her, not to lie down beside her. His lids were hooded, masking his expression, his voice a monotone when he spoke. “A guy in the supply room has been telling him the Exploratorium is awesome. So when he wasn’t very busy in the afternoon, he asked his supervisor if he could leave early. That was about three o’clock.”
“His supervisor just let him walk out?” The fury that wanted out trembled on the edge of her voice.
“Yes.” No expression leaked into his tone, it was simply flat, no reaction.
“How could that happen, Will? His supervisor should have known better.” And she should have called Jeremy during the day, before he asked to leave. He would have told her what he planned, and she would have told him to wait until she got home. God, she’d been so stupid. “And how did he get all the way over there from your office?”
“It’s been moved into one of the pier buildings. It’s not that far from Market Street, so he walked there.”
“Without his jacket or phone.” She’d always tried to impress on Jeremy how important it was to carry his phone everywhere.
“He made it there fine. But he got lost coming back, got himself turned around and didn’t recognize anything. Eventually he found a cop who helped him. But Jeremy didn’t remember our office address.”
And the only phone number Jeremy had memorized was hers. She closed her eyes.
“You’re tired. Sleep. That’ll make the trip go faster.”
Will’s face had always been the most beautiful one she’d ever seen. From the start his eyes had given away everything to her—his appreciation, his attraction, his love. And now? Now she could see his frustration, his guilt, and his regret.
Regret so deep that it was tearing through both of them.
Unable to take any more of it in, she rolled away from him and closed her eyes. Jeremy was safe, thank God, but anything could have happened to him while he was wandering around San Francisco.
The last thought she had before pure exhaustion claimed her against her will, was that her mother must be rolling over in her grave.
* * *
Jeremy was safe. It was the only thing that kept Will from losing his mind.
He left Harper to sleep away the rest of the seemingly endless flight, and poured himself a glass of Scotch. It burned going down. But it couldn’t burn away his thoughts.
His blood powered up with the need to fire every damn last one of them, from Benny to Jeremy’s supervisor to the kid who’d told him about the Exploratorium. Every freaking one of them. Come out with his fists swinging, just like the Road Warrior inside him. Hit first, think later. Smash and hack his way through.
But he’d come far enough to know that the fighting had been a symptom of his powerlessness, his inability to truly control everything around him. It had never fixed anything. It never even made him feel better.
And the fact was, he should have prepared his employees better. Much better. He should have stressed that Jeremy was disabled. Only, Will didn’t think of him that way, and the idea of putting any stigma on him by giving his issues a name hadn’t sat well, especially after the grocery store incident.
Now, Will knew that the clerk should have called him an idiot instead of Jeremy. Be
cause being clear regarding Jeremy’s limitations wasn’t about stigma. It was about ensuring his safety.
He took another slug, let it burn, then catalogued over and over the mistakes he’d made during the past two months. Mistakes that had just cost him the love of his life and a boy who had become very important to him, as well.
When they were forty-five minutes out of SFO, Will ordered breakfast, and his crew had it waiting so that Harper could eat before they landed. He knocked lightly on the door to let her know.
“Did you sleep?”
She nodded. She didn’t talk much. She didn’t eat much either. It would have been easier if she’d yelled it all out, reamed him a new one. He was used to Harper speaking her mind. But she was completely closed off from him now, the lounge of his jet seeming as big as a cavern between them.
He knew what he needed to do. He wasn’t good for them. He didn’t deserve them.
But how could he ever get the words out to let her go when she was everything he’d ever wanted? Everything he’d ever needed.
They landed. He thanked his crew. He didn’t dare touch Harper, not even to help her down the stairs.
Benny had the car waiting on the tarmac. And Jeremy ran over the moment he saw Harper, throwing himself into her arms.
The lump in Will’s throat grew larger, the tightness in his chest clenching harder. Harper and Jeremy were a family that he wasn’t a part of. That he would never be a part of.
“I’m sorry, Harper. Don’t be mad, okay? I won’t do it again.” Jeremy stepped back, his lips pressed together in a sad pout. “Mrs. Taylor said I scared everyone.”
“You did.” Will noticed how gentle Harper kept her voice, even though it was clear she was still right there on the verge of shattering. “You know you shouldn’t go anywhere without your phone. We’ve talked a lot about that.”
His head drooped on his neck, and he wagged it back and forth. “I know.”
“And what do you say to Will?”
Turning, his shoulders slumped, he was like a puppy who’d been picked on by his littermates. “I’m sorry, Will. Do you still love me?”