Amir Mamzer wasn’t too happy when he saw the prices that Scorpio intended to charge for the project. He ranted at Tom and Tania in a half hour conference call, alternately demanding and pleading for a bigger slice of the pie, but they stood firm.
‘Look, you were happy enough to sign up for the prices we suggested, and we’re giving you the administration of the rental scheme as well as any rents you can get from the apartments. How much better does it get?’ Tom wasn’t going to give an inch; he had a watertight contract.
Tania wasn’t for turning either. ‘We are spending a fortune on advertising, and taking huge risks, but we fully expect to sell this project in less than a month. That’s better than anything you ever did with your Israeli clients, and you have no marketing or agency costs. I’m sorry, Mr. Mamzer, a deal is a deal, but maybe we can make a concession on the next project if this one works well for us all.’
Reluctantly the Israeli agreed to the package. ‘Ok, let’s all get to work and move this project off the desk, we all got to make a living.’
The publicity was working; suddenly everyone was talking about Budapest. Tom had done several radio interviews in the past few days; this was a new approach by Scorpio. He explained the rental guarantee by claiming that they had done advanced deals with a number of multinational firms that were planning to open in Hungary, and if anyone questioned him further he invoked a confidentiality clause; nobody pushed it, and it quickly became accepted lore.
Amir Mamzer arrived for the weekend, curious to see how his project would be received; it was clear that he was impressed.
‘My project, is all over your newspapers, everybody talks about this Renaissance Quarter. Do you think we will sell many apartment this weekend?’
Tom was confident; the publicity had been incredible and he already had telephone reservations on nearly twenty apartments ahead of the show. Small investors were excited at the possibility of getting a guaranteed return on their purchase, and there was something of a stampede to grab the best apartments. He didn’t want to appear too confident to the Israeli, but he wasn’t going to downplay things either.
‘I think we’ll easily sell half the project, maybe more. We’ve invested a lot of time and money in the marketing side, so hopefully it will all come together this afternoon.’
Tom called his salesmen to a final meeting before the doors opened. He wanted the Hungarian project to move well, but he didn’t want them to lose focus on the core business, the project in Spain. Hungary was a gamble that might pay off hugely, but Spain was where the steady income was coming from and he didn’t want them to forget that.
‘Andrew, your role is key today. Try to separate the buyers at first point of contact and push most of the Hungarian ones to me; I know the project better than the lads and I’ll be able to sell it faster. We’re going to be stretched with doing two countries, but we’ll get used to it after a couple of hours and it’ll all go smoothly. Lads, don’t get carried away with the excitement of a new destination; keep selling Spain the way you have been, don’t lose your focus. Now, let’s go earn some serious money.’
Amir Mamzer called Tom aside. ‘Is looking good, Tom, I think you guys will do the business.’
‘Don’t worry, Amir, we’ll give it our best shot.’
‘Something else, Tom, your friend Andrew, is he Arab?’
‘Arab?’
‘You know, Homokos?’
‘Oh Andy’s gay, sure, but he’s still very good at his job, Amir.’
The Israeli shook his head. ‘I am not used to work with Arab, Homokos. In my country we do not have such persons.’
‘You have a problem with Andrew?’
‘No, no problem, he seems nice guy, but I just not used to being near to Homokos. I don’t know how to talk to him, what do I say to him?’
‘Say nothing, I don’t know, if you get into conversation, I don’t know, tell him a joke maybe. Just act normal, no big deal.’
‘Ok, thank you, Tom, I am just not comfortable, you understand?’
Andrew came back into the room. ‘Showtime guys, they’re lining up outside, we better open the doors.’
‘Ok, Andy, let them in, let’s put some money on the meter.’
Nobody had ever seen a property show like it. At one point they had to close the doors for half an hour to allow the crowd get small enough to make it manageable. Andrew was playing a blinder, but even he was under serious pressure. By Sunday morning every apartment in Amir Mamzer’s building was sold, and they had started taking names for future projects with rental guarantees.
Tania was beside herself. ‘Tom, we’re making a fucking fortune, this is going like a dream. I need to send you away more often, that rental thing was a stroke of genius.’
Tom was exhausted; he just wanted to get home to bed. They had sold over a hundred apartments in Hungary and almost ninety villas in Spain. He had no idea exactly how much money he had made, but it was an awful lot, probably well over three quarters of a million euro in just three days. He felt a sudden surge of pride at what had been done; so much for his smartass bloody teacher who had joked that he would end up drawing the dole. So much for Mister Maurice Milton who had duped him out of his money back in the electrical store. He was making a lot more than his father with his lousy building business. Thomas Murphy had arrived, with no help from anyone, just using his wits and nothing more.
Amir Mamzer was as excited as a small boy in a toyshop. ‘We did it, we did it, we make one hundred percent selling; you guys are the best, the best.’
Tom smiled at the Israeli’s exuberance, and at the way he was hugging all the sales team, including Andrew. ‘Just doing what we do best, Amir; you build them, we sell them.’
‘Is amazing, never did I see such a thing, is amazing. I buy you all dinner, is on me, I insist.’
Tom was too tired to think of eating, and he knew that the rest of the lads must feel the same, but maybe it would be good for all the team to sit down together for a meal and a few drinks.
‘That’s kind of you, Amir, maybe we’ll do that, it would be good after such a weekend.’
The mood was muted in the restaurant at the beginning but the team soon got their second wind as the wine flowed. Tom was sitting beside Tania; he tried for a while to limit her intake of wine but it was a lost cause, his boss was determined to celebrate in style. Despite having made millions from the business over the weekend, she was delighted that Amir Mamzer was paying for the meal and the drinks, and she was doing her best to get her money’s worth. Tom would never understand her mentality; this woman would never be happy with having enough.
He thought about his own situation; he was now a rich man, and the business was showing no signs of slowing, although he knew that it would have a finite life as buyers became more discerning and as more and more players entered the field. He just needed to make hay while the sun shone so that he could withdraw quietly whenever the inevitable downturn arrived.
The wine was taking effect; Amir and Andrew were telling jokes and keeping everyone amused. Andrew’s voice tended to become shrill when he had a few drinks on board, and the Israeli’s strong accent and loud voice meant that he also could be heard above the din. Andrew had the floor; he was trying to explain the nuances of a joke to his new friend.
‘It’s a nursery rhyme, Amir, like they tell to children.’
‘Ok, say again slowly, I understand, child verses.’
’Little boy kneels at the foot of the stairs,
Clutched in his hand are a bunch of white hairs,
Oh dear, fancy that,
Christopher Robin castrated the cat.’
The others howled with laughter, as much at Andrew’s very camp delivery of the verse as at the vulgarisation of the old nursery rhyme. Amir laughed along, but he looked puzzled.
‘’Who this Christopher Robin?’
‘He’s a character in Children’s stories.’
‘Ok, I see, but what is castrated?’
Andrew leaned close to Amir and whispered in his ear. The Israeli spluttered with laughter.
‘Yes, yes, now I understand. The little boy remove the testikal from the cat, yes? Very good, I learn that one, very good.’
Andrew turned to his new friend. ‘Your turn now, Amir, you must have plenty of jokes, tell us one of yours.’
‘Ok, there is man, goes to doctor, tells him, doctor, I have problem, every night I peepee in the bed.’
Everyone at the table was now all ears.
‘So the doctor examine him and say, all is ok, all is working good, no reason why you peepee in the bed. Then the man say, no, doctor, problem is that when I go to sleep a doo-off come to me in the dream and say, Did you peepee? and I say, no, not yet, so the doo-off say, is ok, you can peepee now. You understand doo-off?’
Andrew nodded, ‘yes, a dwarf, a small man.’
Amir took a long swallow of his wine and continued. ‘The doctor say to the man, is no problem, when the doo-off come to you tonight and ask you if you peepee, you just say, thank you, I peepee already.’
‘So the man come back to the doctor and the doctor say, is ok, no? Did the doo-off come to you last night? And the man say, yes he come, but is not ok. Doctor say, but did he ask you if you peepee?’
‘Yes.’
‘And did you tell him, no, is ok, I peepee already.’
‘Yes, I say to the doo-off, is ok thank you, I peepee already. But then the doo-off say, but did you make shit?’
The whole table erupted in laughter. Amir was in hysterics at his own punchline, he was bent over the table and pounding on his thigh with his fist. Andrew was repeating the last line over and over, and the other salesmen were choking on their food and heaving with laughter. Tania’s laughter level had gone up a few decibels; Tom knew that it would be time to get her out of the place very soon.
Amir was still laughing, pounding his fist on the table and almost choking on his drink. He moved up the table to sit opposite Tom and Tania.
‘I have another joke, very good joke. Is for you, Tom, you want to hear?’
Tom wondered at what was coming. ‘If it’s as good as the last one…’
‘Is better, is better.’ The Israeli was having trouble composing himself.
‘Let’s have it so.’
‘You know when you make the name ‘Renaissance Quarter’ for the area where is my projects? I show the newspaper reports from internet to the guys at town hall.’
Tom swallowed, he hadn’t thought of the fact that the story might get back so quickly to Budapest.
The Israeli was still laughing. ‘They love it, now they are going to call this area the Renaissance Quarter, already they spending money, cleaning papers from shops, fixing sidewalk, and they make some small park where was the bad ground across the street from Kover Amber Haz.’
Tom relaxed; this wasn’t bad news at all. He was amazed that his idea had been taken up so readily by the authorities; what could have been a problem had turned into a very good outcome. He raised his glass to Amir and toasted him. ‘Here’s to the Renaissance man, Amir Mamzer.’
They laughed at the story; it was funny, you had to admit it.
Mamzer was still laughing. ‘There is another joke, very funny also. You want to hear, Tom?’
‘Sure, Amir, we need a few laughs, it was a long weekend.’
‘Ok, ok, you know the rentals, the guarantee? You know we agree that I keep any rent I can get for the two years?’
‘Yes, that’s what we agreed.’ Tom was puzzled, what did the little man have up his sleeve?
‘You remember Monika, the girl in my office? ‘
‘Yes, I know Monika.’ Tom remembered the pretty girl who had brought them the cakes and coffees.
‘She is daughter to important man in Medical school. They are selling their old residence block; it will be redeveloped by private investors.’
‘Israeli investors?’ Tom was beginning to see a pattern.
‘Of course. Stupid lazy fuck Ungarians never make such business. But while this redevelopment is happening, they need accommodation for students. I have contract, I sign on Thursday, just before I come here. I rent all block for two years after is complete.’
Tom was astounded, and it must have showed on his face. The Israeli looked at him across the table. ‘Is good joke, Tom, no?’
Tom smiled; you just had to see the funny side. Fellows like Amir Mamzer had been around for a long time, living off their wits in a tough business, and you had to admire their initiative. He laughed along with the developer.
‘It’s a very funny joke, Amir, I have to hand it to you, you know your job.’ He raised his glass to the Israeli. ‘Here’s to your continued success in Budapest.’
Mamzer raised his glass in return. ‘And to your success also, we make good business together.’
The waiter brought more wine; he turned the bottle to show the label to Tom. Tania had been quiet; she was slightly drunk and still stunned by the revelations from Mamzer. When the waiter leaned in to show the bottle, she suddenly came to life. She jabbed her index finger in the direction of her own face.
‘Up here, my face is up here, ok? You never see tits before? Stop staring at my tits.’
Tom waved away the wine. ‘I think we’re ok, I’m heading off; it’s been a long day.’ He wanted to break up the party, to get Tania out of there before she made a scene.
Somehow, he got his boss out the door and into a taxi, but not before she had insulted the waiter and a couple of people at a table near the door. He returned to collect his coat. Andrew was very drunk, as was Amir Mamzer. The salesmen were by now getting down to lines of shots, and the Israeli was enthusiastically joining in. It was time to be off; he called Andrew aside.
‘I’m heading home, going to drop into the Willows for a quick pint with Walter and Harry, do you want to come along?’
Andrew smiled coyly. ‘Not tonight, Amir has invited me back to his hotel; he has a big cake and some Hungarian wine to finish off. We’re going to have a party.’
Tom raised his eyebrows. ‘You know what you’re doing?’
‘Oh yes, he’s a very nice man, he’s invited me to come and stay for a few days in Budapest, say’s he’ll take me to visit the baths and all that.’
Tom slipped out quietly and took a taxi to the bar. Walter and Harry were sitting in the corner; they looked exhausted.
‘Good weekend, lads?’
Walter nodded. ‘The usual, seems to be no bloody end to it, not that I’m complaining.’
Harry put a pint in front of Tom. ‘How was your show?’ Did you do ok in Budapest?’
‘We sold the lot, over a hundred units, and Spain did well for us too.’
Harry gave a low whistle. ‘We did pretty well in Budapest, ourselves, better than I expected; we did over forty units downtown. Or maybe fifty, I’m not sure about the last ten. There’s no doubt that your publicity drive helped us to put the place on the map, but you seem to have swept the board entirely, was it the rental thing?’
‘No doubt about it, we even have a waiting list for the next one.’ Walter was dubious. ‘Don’t tell me that it was genuine, Tom, I know you too well. You just added it on to the price, didn’t you?’
‘I have to admit, that was the original plan, but we managed to put a contract in place for two years; one of the medical colleges.’
Walter shook his head in disbelief. ‘I always used to say that you’d sell shoes to the footless, Tom, and nothing changes. You have a lucky streak in you; I don’t know how you do it, but try and keep it legal, or as near as possible anyway.’
Tom laughed. ‘It’s legal enough, they’re promised rentals, they’ll get them.’
‘Even if they are renting from themselves?’ Walter sounded a disapproving note.
Tom ignored the jibe. ‘What did you mean about not being sure of the last ten in Budapest?’
Harry contemplated his pint. ‘We sold ten in one lot this morning, but I’m not
too happy about them, I just don’t like that fellow. Mickey Macken, you know him?’
‘The racing commentator? I just know him from the telly, never met him.’
Harry sighed. ‘I never met him before this morning either. Heard a lot about him all right, small little fucker, used to be a jockey but he got too fat, there isn’t a horse in the country could carry him. He’s like something that came up in a trawl net.’
‘If you knocked him over he’d be taller.’ Walter didn’t like the celebrity broadcaster much either. ‘Women seem to like him though.’
Harry gave a chuckle. ‘I had a nephew who was a stable lad when Macken was a jockey, they had a nickname for him in the weigh room; they called him tripod.’
Tom laughed at the descriptions. ‘So is he buying property in a big way then?’
Walter shook his head. ‘I reckon he’s just a chancer; he called in before we opened and picked out the best ten apartments in the place, then told us he had buyers for them, playing on his name I think, cashing in the bit of fame and all that.’
‘So what’s the problem?’ Tom was curious. ‘Surely a buyer is a buyer, even that little jackass.’
‘He wants a grand each from us for making the deal, no real problem with that, but I think he buys first and then tries to sell later, I’d say he’ll break our hearts on this one. No deposits paid, nothing. Got stroppy when I asked him to write a cheque. Do you know what the little fucker said to me?’ Harry was angry with the TV personality.
‘What did he say?’
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