“Sure, I understand.”
He started rubbing his hands together like he normally did when he was nervous. I was so anxious to find out the big secret, that I scooted to the edge of my seat. He just looked at me, hesitating. There was no way I was going to let him get away with not telling me.
“Ash, you can't do this to me again. You have to tell me what's going on. If it’s that serious, then maybe I can help,” I said.
“Okay, here it goes... remember when you said you found that file in your dad's cabinet?”
“Yeah, what about it?” I asked.
“Well, you said there was a certificate or something in there that was related to clones, right?”
“Yeah, what are you getting at? What does this have to do with you?” I asked, still confused.
He had this look on his face that said, It's so obvious, but I still wasn't getting it.
“Wait, do you know something about the file?”
“No, I don't know about the file and why all that was mixed in with your things, but I do know that it’s possible,” he said looking down.
“What's possible? Cloning humans?” I asked.
I was so engulfed in the conversation that I was leaning over far enough for my chair to be propped on only two legs. At any second, I could fall out of my chair and I didn't care.
“Yes, it is possible to clone humans. In fact, it has been done before.”
“But I thought it was illegal to do that.”
“It is for public facilities, but not for private ones, especially since they are using their own money to fund the research and the process. There are a lot of things that have been cloned. It’s not that farfetched,” he said.
“I did some research on clones after I found the file and from what I read, the success rate wasn't that high, especially when it comes to cloning a human. I read that they die within the first couple of years depending on the development of the fetus.”
“Yeah, that's true, but that was a long time ago. Technology has grown and changed so much within that period of time, it is not impossible for a clone to live well beyond the years expected of them.”
“How do you know all this?” I said impressed with his knowledge on the subject.
He looked around still rubbing his hands together. He finally leaned in close and took a deep breath.
“Well, I, um. Okay,” he let out another deep breath. “The reason I know all of this is because...”
“Ash, you're stalling. Just spit it out,” I said.
“I'm...” he closed his eyes, “a clone.”
Everything stopped. My whole world just completely stopped. No one was walking around me, there was no noise, nothing. I slowly sat back in my chair and Ash opened his eyes. Was this a joke? I've known him for over two years now and he was just as normal as the rest of us. He just told me he was a clone. How can I believe this? I read the books that told me this was impossible, but here he sits, confessing to me this secret that he is a clone.
I didn't know what to say. He sat there silent, waiting for me to respond and all I wanted to do was think about what he just told me. I thought the nightmares and the murders were the strangest things to happen, but this definitely took the cake.
I thought about the day I called all of them together and told them what was going on with me. I told him about the file and he didn't mention this at all. There was no trust at all between me and my friends. Rach lied about hiding the letters and I still don't know what Michael is about, and now this.
The letters told me not to trust anyone and I was so quick to dismiss the warning. My friends helped me dismiss the idea that there wasn’t any danger or any reason to not trust them. What should I do now? He asked me not to look at him differently, but how could I not?
He was different to me now. He still looked like Ash, but he wasn't Ash. Who was he? Where was the original?
“I know you have a lot of questions and you're probably upset with me for not telling you until now, but there is a good reason that I couldn't,” he said reaching across the table to grab my hands. I pulled them back. I didn't want to be touched right now. “Please say something. Ask me anything and I promise I will be honest with you.”
I hesitated at first. I did have a lot of questions, but my mind was telling me to just get up and walk away. I thought I was alone last week, but this was on another level of loneliness. I didn't know what to believe anymore.
I looked at Ash, with his red pleading eyes. I couldn't just walk away from him, not like this. I couldn't walk away from finding out every detail of how he was cloned and what it felt like.
“So, you're a clone... how, I mean who... I don't know what to say. I do have a lot of questions, but where do I begin?” I said.
“My father...”
“Your father,” I cut him off. “You have a father? How does that work?”
“I call him my father because he was the one who, you know, created me I guess you can say.”
“So, if he created you, then where is the person he got the DNA from?”
“Well, I was cloned from a baby who died in the hospital. The parents were rushing to the hospital because the mother was in labor; they had an accident and the father died instantly. An ambulance was taking the mother to the hospital, but she died on the way there. They delivered the baby, but he died hours later. My father is a doctor at the hospital where the baby was born and he took the DNA from the baby boy and here I am,” he said.
“So, your father is a doctor, but how did he learn how to clone humans?”
“Well, he specializes in many areas.”
“This is so bizarre. You're a clone. All this time and you never told me. Why are you telling me now? Why couldn't you tell me this long time ago?” I asked.
“Because, my father was using the hospitals resources to do the research. That’s a public facility and if he would have gotten caught then that would mean big trouble for him. I'm alive illegally, so to speak. He made me swear that I wasn't going to tell anyone ever, but I couldn't keep it from you. I've wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn't know how. When you said something about the file, it made me think about how maybe this would connect us on another level.”
“But I'm not a clone.”
“I know, but obviously someone was cloned from you. Or they tried to anyway.”
I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but I had to because the proof was sitting right in front of me. And what he said about someone being cloned from my DNA was making my stomach ball up in knots. What if he was right? What if the person I've been dreaming about was my clone? The pressure was getting heavy.
“Do you think that maybe my clone could be committing the murders?” I asked.
“No. The certificate said the cloning process failed, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, then it wouldn't be possible,” he said.
“But what if someone tried again? I'm pretty sure your father isn't the only person who experimented with clones. What if someone tried again and this time it succeeded?”
“That still doesn't explain why the file was with your things,” he said. “I'm curious to know what your father has to do with this.”
“I was wondering the same thing, but my dad has all sorts of files on different things. It could be a coincidence. I believe he would've told me this.”
“Okay, so where does that leave us?” he asked.
“Well, what about your father has he made any others?”
“No, I'm the only one he’s made,” he said.
“The other thing that doesn't add up is the fact that the murders are in Rome.”
Ash looked away. Was there something else he wasn't telling me? He started rubbing his hands together again. I thought about asking him what was wrong, but quickly changed my mind.
“Yeah, it doesn't add up,” he said. “But Jamie, I need you to promise me that this will stay between us. No one needs to know anything.”
“I
promise.”
Here was another secret that I had to keep to myself. I was running out of room in my brain. Next, it will be Rach telling me something she doesn't want anyone else to know. I'm like the human, walking, talking diary.
We sat there for another hour and I asked every question that came to mind. He answered me truthfully because he knew I wouldn't tell anyone else. He told me about the test and examination he had to go through growing up, about his room and some other things. Things he never felt secure enough to share with me before. As the conversation progressed, I was more at ease with talking about it. I didn't look at Ash differently and I knew I wasn't going to. He was the same ole Ash to me and that's all that mattered.
When we were done talking, he paid for the check and we headed home. There wasn't much talking during the ride back to the dorm. We just turned up the music and sung along with the songs.
We pulled up in front of the dorm and he turned the truck off. We both turned around in our seats facing each other. All I could think about in that moment was, my best friend was a clone.
“So, are we good?” he asked.
“Of course. I told you that nothing was going to change that. But for future reference, please don't keep any more secrets from me. It just sucks not knowing what's going on with you,” I replied.
“Okay, I can do that. I hate keeping things from you anyway.”
“So, I'll see you later. I have to get some rest for class tomorrow.”
“Yeah, okay. I had fun today. We should make this a weekly thing,” he said.
“I agree,” I said leaning over kissing him on the cheek. “See ya babe.”
“See ya.”
I got out of the car and headed upstairs. Once I got to the door, I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls. I hadn't checked it since I left the room this morning. There were no missed calls, only a text from Rach. Michael must still be mad at me.
I opened the door to the room and went in. I put my things down and dialed his number. He still didn't answer so I left him a message apologizing again. I was too tired physically, mentally and emotional and I didn't want to get into another big discussion, so I let it go. If he didn't answer the phone tomorrow, I was going to go see him.
Rach wasn't back. I walked around the room for a minute to clear my head. I finally threw on some pajamas and got in bed. I closed my eyes and let the events of the day swirl around in my mind. The last scene played and I went to sleep.
Chapter Sixteen
I've been trying to get in contact with Michael for the past couple of days and he won't answer his phone. I can't believe he was that upset about me hanging out with Ash instead of him. I thought he would be more understanding of our friendship, but I guess I was wrong.
After class, if he didn't answer his phone, I was going to go over to his place and make him talk to me, just like he did me that day in the woods.
I went to my last class of the day and sat down in the front. I decided I was going to text Michael before class started. I sent him a text saying I wish he would call me. I felt like I was some maniac calling and texting him so much, but I needed him to understand there was nothing between Ash and me. He wouldn't talk to me, so how could I?
Thirty minutes into the class, I realized texting him was a bad idea. I was checking my phone every five minutes to see if he replied and he hadn't. I couldn't concentrate on what the teacher was saying and this seemed to be an important lesson.
I looked down at my notes and I only had two lines there. What am I doing to myself, I thought. I took my phone, turned it off, and threw it into my purse. I tuned into the teacher and began catching up on what I missed.
The class was over and I grabbed my things and headed to my car. I opened my purse and grabbed my phone to check for messages. There was none. I tried to call Michael again before I barged into his house; still no answer. This has gone on too long.
I drove to his place in a hurry. I only had an hour or so before I had to be at work so I had to make this quick. I couldn’t stand the fact of him hating me. Things shouldn't be like this. I know he told Ash that I'm not all there when were together and that I apparently talked about Ash a lot, but it wasn't like that at all. I loved Ash, but it was purely platonic. And I know my mind is elsewhere sometimes, but I explained that to him, I thought he got it. I tried to warn him, but he insisted on letting this go on and now we’re in this situation and he won't talk to me.
If he was going to end things with me, he could at least have the decency to do it to my face and not have me hanging on wondering. That was just mean.
I pulled up at his place and got out. I've never gone to anyone's house unannounced, but this was driving me crazy. I went to the door and knocked. I started looking around and then I got nervous. What if he had another girl over here? Would I be able to take it if he did? He wouldn't do that to me, would he?
He finally answered the door and he had a surprised look on his face.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey,” I replied looking down. ”You wouldn't take my calls or return any of them. I had to check on you.”
“Yeah, I've been busy.”
“Doing what? Are you seriously that mad at me?” I asked.
“No, I'm not mad at you. I've just been busy.”
My heart started pounding. He hadn't let me in yet and he was blocking the door. Was there someone else in there? I was so upset with him.
“Are you going to let me in or are you busy right now?” I asked.
He rubbed the back of his head and then looked behind him. He has been blowing me off and now he is acting like a jerk. What did I do to deserve this?
“My place is a mess, I haven't had time to clean up...” he started.
I pushed the door as hard as I could and it flung open.
“I'll live,” I said pushing past him and walking in.
I looked around to see if there was anyone there, but his place was empty. I calmed down a little and took a seat on the couch. He closed the door then came and sat down beside me.
“What is this really about? You're blowing me off and that's not cool. You told me we needed to communicate more and be honest with each other and you are doing the total opposite right now. What is it? Just tell me,” I said.
“It's Ash,” he yelled and I jumped at the rise in his voice.
“What about Ash?”
“Every time I turn around, it's Ash this and Ash that. Ash needs me and I'm so worried about Ash. I understand you guys are best friends and I know he was here before me, I get that. But what about me? I always come second to him. How do you think that makes me feel?”
I really felt bad at that point. I knew what he meant. It was just so hard to make everyone happy. I was trying my best and it wasn't working.
“I'm so sorry if I've been putting you second to Ash, but you know it's not like that with us. We've been friends for so long and he has always been there for me when I needed him, it never dawned on me that you would feel this way. I mean, he says I've been neglecting him for you. I just don't know how to please everyone,” I said.
He moved closer to me on the couch and his face finally softened.
“I'm not trying to make you choose between me and Ash, but I would like to know that our relationship has some weight or merit. I want to know that I do come first sometimes, that's all.”
“I get it and I'm really sorry. I just hate it when I think someone is mad at me, especially someone I love. Next time, just tell me. I'm trying to work on being a better person,” I said.
“Look, I can't blame this all on you. I should have talked to you. And I guess I could have been more understanding, but it was really getting to me and all I wanted to do was be angry.”
I tried to comfort him. I hated that he felt like this and it was because of me. I was so torn between my love for him and my friendship with Ash.
“I'm trying my best, so can I at least get points for that,” I said rubbing his cheek. �
��This is all new to me, you know, having a boyfriend. It's been awhile since I was in a relationship, especially one that lasted. So, it's hard for me to change my routine, but I'm getting better.”
He touched my cheek gently and looked deep into my eyes.
“I'll help you if you would like.”
I nodded and felt relieved we were passed this. I don't know why I was so worried that we wouldn't. I still had my hang ups about him, but I loved him and didn't want to see him hurt.
“I love you so much Jamie. You know that right?” he asked.
“I do and I love you, too. I'm glad we worked this out.”
“Me too.” he said and kissed me on the forehead. “I was about to cook something to eat. You hungry?”
“Yes, I am. I have to be at work in about a half an hour. I won't have time to pick anything up. What are you cooking?”
“Instant noodles,” he said laughing.
“Chicken or beef?”
“Which would you prefer?” he said.
“Beef.”
“I'm really not making noodles. I'm going to whip up something a little classier than that.”
“Okay, you do that and I'm going to watch some television.”
He got up and went to the kitchen and I looked around for the remote. He wasn't kidding when he said he needed to clean up. He had mail and papers everywhere, clothes on the floor and take out on the dining room table. On one of our bad days, this could have been me and Rach's dorm room.
I pushed aside some mail and found the remote, but one of the letters caught my eye. The handwriting looked so familiar to me. I looked toward the kitchen to see of Michael was coming. I heard the sound of pots and pans clattering in the kitchen and I knew it was okay for me to snoop around.
I grabbed the letter and noticed the senders name was an A. Thompson and the address underneath her name was from Rome. I gasped and dropped the envelope. The letters that were being put under my door were being delivered by him.
I had good reason to be suspicious of him. I knew he knew more than he led me to believe. It was starting to make sense now. The reason why he couldn't tell me where he was from and what he did for a living. Why when we suggested that someone was delivering the notes for this A person, he looked away and didn't say anything.
More Than One: A Novel Page 17