by Jemma Forte
Gingerly, Jessica sat down on Bradley’s armchair, first moving what looked suspiciously like a panty girdle, which she placed on the table before turning her attention to what was happening on the monitor.
‘Next up, ladies and gentlemen, we have a world exclusive for you,’ Bradley was announcing to lots of accompanying ‘oohs’ from the audience. ‘For my next guest,’ he read from the hastily written autocue, ‘is one we’re incredibly grateful and thrilled to have on the show. She’s the Bond girl of whom I personally have extremely fond memories … as does my right hand –’
‘Cut!’ yelled Julian down everybody’s earpieces. ‘For fuck’s sake, Bradley. Too much, mate. Stick to the autocue, please? OK. Standby everyone, running up and … turnover.’
Jessica frowned. Bradley could be such a dick.
On screen the presenter cleared his throat, still determined to embellish what he thought was a rather mundane intro. Adjusting his tie, he started again. ‘She’s the Bond girl who shall forever be linked with the words “black bikini”. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m slightly aroused to introduce to you Ms Angelica Dupree.’
The audience went mad. A huge cheer went up as they clapped and whooped enthusiastically and finally a clearly very nervous but dazzlingly beautiful Angelica walked on set. Jessica’s heart lurched. The crowd’s warm reaction to her mother made Jessica feel quite moved, overwhelmed by a sense of proud affection.
Angelica had dressed for the occasion in top-to-toe Armani. She was wearing a silk dress with a pair of matching, oyster-coloured, satin heels and looked beyond stunning and incredibly elegant.
‘Welcome to the show,’ said Bradley, trying not to dribble.
‘Thank you for having me,’ said Angelica, looking terrified.
It was then that the enormity of what she’d done hit Jessica. Just how much of a trial would this be for her mother? What had she done?
‘So firstly may I just say, Ms Dupree, that – like a fine wine – you’ve aged fabulously well. Don’t you think, everybody?’
The audience duly responded with more ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ and a smattering of applause. Angelica smiled politely in their direction.
‘And am I right in saying that this is your first appearance on a chat show, either here or in the States, for well over twenty years?’
‘That is correct.’
‘So what made you decide to come on now, after all this time?’
Angelica paused, as she considered what to say. Fortunately for Jessica, she didn’t settle on the truth. ‘Well, Bradley, I don’t usually do much promotion but recently I’ve made a film I feel very proud of. One that, I hope, has given me the opportunity to show I can really act.’
‘Fantastic,’ said Bradley. ‘And we’ll come to your new film in a minute but firstly – and I apologize because I know you’re probably bored of talking about it – but where’s the infamous black bikini these days? Tell me you still put it on from time to time?’
Jessica was busy cringing when the door to Bradley’s dressing room creaked open. She jumped out of her skin. It was Paul.
‘I’ve been looking for you. Why are you in here?’ he asked curiously. ‘Doesn’t Kerry need you?’
‘I – er … came to see if Bradley needed anything and then got side-tracked watching the – er …’ She trailed off, but Paul just motioned to her to budge up. There wasn’t room for both their bottoms on the leather armchair though so she ended up sitting on his lap.
‘How’s it going so far?’ he enquired.
‘OK,’ mumbled Jessica vaguely. She didn’t want to miss a word but now felt obliged to make sure her thighs were the ones taking her full body weight as opposed to Paul’s. As a result, said thighs were starting to tremble. She hated sitting on men’s laps.
On screen Angelica was saying, ‘I’m not one hundred per cent sure but I think the bikini is in a Hard Rock Café somewhere, though I forget which one, so no, I don’t ever put it on, though I doubt I’d be able to anyway. I was a young girl in The World in Your Hand. I also had a baby not long after, plus of course I’m fast approaching fifty now.’
‘Wow,’ said Bradley. ‘An actress who doesn’t mind talking about her age! That’s a first, but I think we all agree that you haven’t lost your figure at all, Angelica. You look amazing, doesn’t she, ladies and gentlemen?’
Angelica looked visibly irritated by yet another reference to her beauty, but smiled politely. Apart from anything else, Angelica found talking about her looks incredibly boring.
‘So what are your secrets then?’ said Bradley flirtatiously. ‘Do you work out a lot? Are you permanently dieting? Because I read a fascinating article about you recently claiming that unlike most actresses of your age you haven’t ever had Botox. Would that be correct?’
‘Oh, gosh,’ replied Angelica a little testily. ‘That’s certainly not my idea of fascinating. I mean, does anyone even care? I didn’t notice you asking Daniel Craig about how he keeps in such good shape or making comments to Christopher or John about their looks.’
‘Yes, but in the eighties not every single man in the country wanted to make the beast with two backs with them, did they?’ shot back Bradley smugly, earning himself a furious yell in the ear from both Julian and Mike up in the gallery, which culminated in cameras being instructed to ‘CUT!’
‘Oh, God,’ said Jessica faintly, unable to bear it any longer. ‘If he keeps saying things like that, she’s going to freak.’
Paul looked puzzled and Jessica immediately tried to look like someone who didn’t know that for sure. Meanwhile up in the gallery, Julian was busy lecturing Bradley and instructing the studio on what to do next. While this was going on Jessica saw Kerry appear on set to placate and reassure the by now rather flustered Angelica Dupree. Robbie dashed in to powder them both then the cameras turned over again. For the sake of the edit, Bradley was told to briefly revisit his banal enquiry about his guest’s face, on the understanding that afterwards he would move on to more substantial questions. The questions he’d been given. On ‘action’ he asked her again.
‘It is correct, yes,’ replied Angelica wearily. ‘I have not had Botox and I don’t ever intend to either. How can I act if I am devoid of all expression?’ she said, gesticulating wildly. Bradley may not have realized it yet but he was skating on very thin ice.
‘Fair point,’ he said cheerily. ‘Now, you mentioned earlier that you had a baby so I’m sure you won’t mind me bringing this up, but there was quite a scandal when your marriage to Edward Granger broke up, wasn’t there? Rather unusually, wasn’t it him, if I recall correctly, who retained custody of your child?’
Angelica’s hands gripped the side of her chair, her knuckles completely white. In the gallery they went ballistic.
‘What the hell is he thinking?’ yelled Julian. ‘Someone get Natasha and find out if she knew he was going to ask that – but keep rolling,’ he added, in case anyone wasn’t sure.
‘So why was that?’ pried Bradley, oblivious to the commotion upstairs. As far as he was concerned, at this point he was only doing as he’d been told.
Angelica froze and, for an awful second, looked like she might be about to burst into tears. Just as quickly, however, she seemed to recover and, summoning up as much dignity as she could, prepared to answer. The studio fell silent. Audience members didn’t dare even crunch on a sweet in case they made a sound. Backstage everyone was equally gripped and by now Jessica could only watch through her fingers. She was so tense. Part of her felt like swinging on set like Tarzan and scooping Angelica up and away; the other wanted to grab her by the shoulders and give her a good shake while yelling, ‘Answer the question, I beseech you!’ loudly in her ear.
Paul, although similarly spellbound by this rare insight into such an enigmatic star’s life, had a rather more pressing concern – how to get Jessica off his lap without offending her. She’d stopped caring about trying not to squash him a while ago, so he’d been taking her full weight for some
time now. As a result his legs had gone numb and he had terrible pins and needles in his right foot. He gave her a little squeeze but she was so engrossed she didn’t even seem to notice. In fact, she was so absorbed by the show she looked like she wouldn’t mind trying to climb into the screen. In the end he sort of tipped her to the side and slid out of the chair from beneath her.
‘Shhhh,’ said Jessica, which he thought was a little harsh given that he’d temporarily lost the use of his legs.
‘If you don’t mind,’ said Angelica, who was so stunned it hadn’t even occurred to her to throw a diva hissy fit and stop recording, ‘I would prefer not to talk about that. It was a long time ago and it’s a very private matter.’
In the gallery Julian looked at Mike to see if he should stop recording but Mike shook his head. Bradley’s handling of the guest might not be ideal, and he’d have to have a serious word with Natasha, but this was TV gold.
‘What I will say is that I’m only human,’ Angelica continued bravely. ‘I’ve made mistakes over the years but some things need to be kept between myself, Edward and my daughter.’
‘Spoilsport,’ remarked Paul, shaking his leg about vigorously to get rid of the last remnants of pins and needles. Jessica stared at him blankly, not really registering what he was saying.
‘Oh,’ said Bradley. ‘Well, I apologize if I’ve upset you in any way, I just presumed that with your break-up having happened such a long time ago you wouldn’t mind talking about it. However, I can tell I’ve touched a nerve so let’s move on and –’
‘You haven’t upset me,’ said Angelica defensively. ‘Not at all. My marriage is in the past. I just prefer not to discuss it.’
‘I understand,’ said Bradley.
Upstairs, Julian pressed the button to speak into his ear. ‘Move it on now, we’ve got the clip of her movie ready. Ask about her film please, before she loses it.’
‘One last quick thing on the subject,’ Bradley said, glancing at his cards, ‘and then we’ll move on. Are you and Edward friends nowadays? I only ask because those of us old enough to remember you as a couple saw the two of you as a genuine love story, the romance of the decade. When the marriage ended, the news came as a genuine shock to your legions of fans, which is why it would be so lovely for us now to know that you still hold one another in some form of high regard or affection.’
Jessica squirmed as she watched her mother in the spotlight, trapped like an insect under a magnifying glass. This was awful, especially since it was all her doing. Equally, she longed to hear her answer.
‘Bradley,’ Angelica said calmly. Too calmly. ‘I have so much to talk about. I have worked on some amazing films in my time, been to incroyable places, met some very talented and interesting people. Enfin, I could sit here and converse with you about so many things. So why would I want to talk about personal stuff from my past that I barely understand myself?’
‘Right,’ said Bradley. ‘So it’s complicated?’
‘Yes, it’s complicated,’ raged Angelica, her composure disappearing rapidly. ‘Of course it is. Edward is the love of my life, but that was then and this is now. I have another man in my life now so this really is not appropriate.’
‘Is the love of your life?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Is … you said is …’
‘I did not.’
‘You did,’ insisted Bradley. ‘Not that I want to argue with you, of course, but you did say “is the love of my life”.’
‘If I did, it was a slip of the tongue,’ said Angelica, looking ruffled. ‘Look, if you insist, I will tell you. Edward and I did not stay in touch after we broke up. I tried but … anyway, the point is, I will always love the father of my child because he is the father of my child. He was a huge part of my life, you can’t just switch that off, and yet, if someone doesn’t want to know, you have to move on.’
‘But I thought you left him?’ said Bradley, sensing a scoop.
‘Yes, I left ’im,’ said Angelica, her French accent growing more pronounced by the second.
‘She sounds like René from ’Allo ’Allo,’ remarked Paul, earning himself a furious glare from Jessica, who apart from anything else had never heard of the hit show from the eighties.
‘Sorry I spoke,’ Paul added. He was starting to get a bit irritated by his girlfriend’s complete absorption in the show.
‘But it wasn’t as straightforward as it might have seemed at the time,’ Angelica was saying. She was starting to look really upset now. ‘I did write,’ she said quietly. ‘I wrote every week for a long, long time. I tried to work things out, but I think he was hurt and so …’ By this point Angelica’s huge aquamarine eyes were looking dangerously watery. Then it suddenly seemed to occur to her that millions of people (including Graydon) would be watching this interview when it went out. ‘Anyway,’ she said more brightly, visibly pulling herself together, ‘none of that matters any more because actually I have some wonderful news.’
‘Really?’ said Bradley, who couldn’t have written it better himself.
‘Yes, and I had planned on telling my daughter first, but since I know she will be watching anyway, I am pleased to announce that I am engaged to be married.’
‘Fantastic,’ gushed Bradley, who knew this was the interview of the year and was already visualizing the Bafta in his downstairs loo. ‘Who’s the lucky man?’
‘Graydon Matthews.’
Jessica’s heart sank to her boots.
‘And when’s the big day?’
‘Well, obviously I can’t tell you that,’ replied Angelica, ‘but let’s just say it’s imminent. After all, when you reach my stage in life, once you’ve made up your mind there’s no point waiting around.’
Jessica could almost hear Graydon saying precisely this, desperate to get the deed done before Angelica had the chance to see the error of her ways.
‘OK,’ said Bradley, sensing that he’d pushed his guest enough. ‘Now let’s see a clip from your new movie, which the critics are hailing as a strong contender for the Oscars …’
‘Blimey,’ said Paul, as Bradley segued into the clip. ‘What a booking. Clips of that are going to be shown for the next fifty years. She was amazing. Incredibly cagey and prickly in one way and yet at the same time more … God, what’s the right word, more … open than celebrities usually are.’
Jessica nodded dumbly. Astonishment had rendered her mute and she was completely choked by everything her mother had just said. What letters could she possibly have been talking about and how could her mother even think about marrying hairy-ape features? And why had her dad never said anything about any letters?
She sprang to her feet, keen firstly to find her mother so she could ask what the hell she thought she was playing at, and secondly to retrieve the tape of the show from Ross. As she sprinted off (to Paul’s surprise), the word her boyfriend had probably been searching for suddenly occurred to her. Her mom hadn’t been open, she’d been honest. Something she was starting to think she probably should have been herself from the beginning.
34
The next day, Edward Granger was in the middle of a meeting about his upcoming party with, amongst others, party planner Pierre.
‘So,’ continued Pierre, who was as camp as Christmas, ‘I’m thinking arum lilies, in three different shades of red, intertwined in giant glass domes and mounted on top of gold columns. What do you think?’
Edward thought nothing. He literally had no opinion on the matter. In fact, the only thing that had occurred to him was that when Pierre had used the word ‘mounted’, it had sounded faintly sexual. But maybe that was an awfully homophobic response, an antiquated hang-up from his youth? He proceeded to answer, with as much enthusiasm as he could muster (so not much), ‘I don’t know really, though if you say those ar– those … lilies would be great, I’m sure they would.’ Maintaining the peace was the only reason he hadn’t told Pierre to stick his lilies up his ar–
‘Arum, darling, arum,’
said Pierre in an unbelievably patronizing tone.
Edward sighed. He couldn’t concentrate. All he wanted to do was watch the DVD Jessica had FedExed to him again, so that he could search Angelica’s face for more clues. He’d only received it three hours ago, but had already watched it eight times. When Jessica had phoned, insisting he watch Angelica being interviewed as a matter of urgency, she’d said a lot of strange things and now he didn’t know whether he was coming or going. His head felt like it was about to spontaneously combust. She was getting married. He couldn’t bear it. Not only that but it seemed Angelica had finally talked to Jessica about why she’d left, just as he’d asked her to. According to Jessica she’d come up with some pretty solid reasons too and now there was all this talk of letters. None of which made any sense. His eyes felt suspiciously moist. Tears were trying for an invasion, which wasn’t surprising. Having spent nearly a third of his life mourning and grieving the fact he was no longer with Angelica, if he were to find out that things could have been different he wasn’t entirely sure he could cope.
Suddenly Edward noticed Betsey glaring at him, which brought him back to the here and now. ‘Er, where were we?’ he said hastily. ‘Ah yes, flowers.’
Things were rather delicate between himself and Betsey at the moment. Finally having accepted that their marriage had run its course, they’d taken the decision to end it, at which point the level of sadness which had swamped them both had surprised them. When Betsey had insisted upon leaving the marriage with only the minimum amount of alimony, Edward had even felt a pang of quite tangible regret, despite knowing deep down that it was the right thing to do. In order to gain some much-needed breathing space they’d agreed to put off the announcement until after his party.
As Pierre prattled on about chandeliers and lighting, Edward found himself wondering if there was anyone left in the world, apart from his estranged first wife and his sister, who remembered, or cared for that matter, that prior to becoming a rich, famous Hollywood movie star he’d simply been Teddy Bender from Pinner. That he’d grown up in a modest bungalow and that as a young man his idea of high-octane glamour had been a splash of Brut aftershave, dinner at a Bernie Steakhouse and going to a party where no one got into a fight. Angelica was the one person who had managed to both unearth and accept all the different layers and facets to him. She had understood how his less sophisticated roots occasionally made him feel like an alien in his own home, yet hadn’t seen anything wrong in how easily he’d adapted to his new luxurious lifestyle. She hadn’t judged him for erasing some of his old identity, like his name and his accent, and used to laugh with him about the more frilly and ridiculous aspects of being famous. God, he missed that. It had pained him so much to hear Jessica pleading with him to come to England to try and persuade Angelica not to get married. Like she’d listen to him! Even if she did listen to him, according to his panicked daughter the wedding was taking place tomorrow. Angelica had decided to have a small, private ceremony and apparently didn’t see the point in waiting, which surely meant she must be desperate to marry Teenwolf’s cousin. And it wasn’t as if she’d phoned him back after having spoken with Jessica as agreed. At least he thought they’d agreed … hadn’t they?