by Jemma Forte
Peeping over the top of her jacket, Jessica followed his gaze to his Rolex watch that was sporting a large scratch across the face.
It was ten past three. A large, very curious crowd was gathering so an unbelievably disappointed Jessica opened the door to the building and they both darted in.
‘What now?’ gulped Jessica, pulling her jacket back down, trying not to cry as they stood just inside the entrance, having shut the door on the chaos they’d left in their wake.
‘Well, you should probably go and offer the happy couple your congratulations, and I shall wait till things have calmed down outside then get Clare to find the nearest chemist and buy some Savlon,’ said Edward bravely, though his desolate face told the real story. Just then, however, a groom appeared through a door to their right. It was Graydon, decked out in full wedding attire, complete with hairy knuckles. There was no sign of the bride.
‘What the hell are you doing here?’ asked Graydon, looking almost as fed up as Edward, only much, much smarter.
‘I was just … passing?’ tried Edward. Despite her disappointment, Jessica couldn’t help it, she had to giggle at this ludicrous answer.
Edward frowned.
‘Sorry, Dad.’
‘Where’s Angelica?’ asked Edward. ‘I wanted to … congratulate you both.’
‘Like fuck you did,’ seethed Graydon. ‘Don’t you dare try and make a fool of me.’
‘Seriously, where is Mom?’ interrupted Jessica, suddenly genuinely concerned for her mother’s welfare. Graydon’s usually smooth composure seemed to have slipped and he looked vaguely unhinged.
‘Claridge’s,’ he snarled, looking hatefully at the pair of them.
‘What do you mean?’ asked Jessica.
‘She’s ditched me, and don’t try to pretend you don’t know why,’ he spat petulantly.
‘Actually, I’m not pretending,’ said Edward. ‘So why don’t you spill the beans because I’d love to get your insight …’
‘Well, Jessica not bothering to turn up certainly didn’t help but I suspect your daughter’s also been putting ideas into her head, confusing her,’ he added, making it sound as though Angelica was vaguely senile.
Jessica interrupted. ‘Look, I’m not being funny, Graydon, but you know as well as I do that you bullied Mom into this wedding so I can’t say I’m sorry that it hasn’t worked out.’
‘I don’t really care what you think,’ he replied stonily.
‘Oh, cheer up,’ said Jessica, who’d had enough and had also just realized that with the wedding off there was no real reason left to be polite. ‘It’s not like the person you love most in the world has jilted you. You’re still here, aren’t you? You should marry yourself.’
‘Jessica,’ reprimanded Edward. He liked what she was saying but paternal habits die hard and he didn’t feel able to condone such rudeness. Still, Jessica was past caring, as was Graydon.
‘You little shit,’ he blustered, rather revealing his true colours.
‘No, you shit,’ retorted Jessica. ‘Only apparently with some difficulty and never with your clothes on.’
‘How dare you? You bitch,’ spat Graydon, practically convulsing with rage.
‘Don’t speak to my daughter like that, you prick,’ said Edward.
‘Fuck you,’ retorted Graydon.
‘No, fuck you,’ said Edward, before punching him squarely on the nose.
36
Ten minutes later, having beaten a hasty retreat from Graydon and his bloody nose, Jessica, Edward and Clare found themselves back in the car again, heading optimistically for Claridge’s.
‘Mom, it’s me,’ panted Jessica into her cell phone. ‘Are you OK? Oh, gosh, don’t cry,’ she soothed. ‘I know … yes, I saw him. Oh, don’t worry, you’ve definitely done the right thing …’
Edward sat rigid, unable to cope with the tension of not knowing whether she’d agree to see him. It was obvious from the way Jessica was talking that Angelica was deeply upset and it pained him to think of her so unhappy.
‘I know,’ Jessica was saying, ‘but listen, I’m going to come there now. Yes … but just listen a second. I’m with Dad and I think you guys should talk …’
There was a pause. Edward cringed and not just because his scraped side was stinging.
‘OK,’ said Jessica, putting down her phone.
‘Well,’ said Edward, ‘what did she say? Tell me, for Christ’s sake.’
‘She said OK,’ said Jessica.
‘She did?’
‘She did.’
Half an hour later, Edward Granger was standing in the corridor outside the door to Angelica’s penthouse suite. This was the moment he’d dreamt of for over two decades and he could hardly believe it was happening. He was completely terrified. His mouth had gone dry, his heart was pounding and, worst of all, he was feeling incredibly paranoid about how he looked. Last time he’d seen Angelica he’d been a man in his prime, blond with the merest suggestion of grey, twenty pounds lighter and … vital. He also hadn’t looked like he’d been dragged down the road by a bus. His hand was poised to knock but, bottling it yet again, he lowered it once more. ‘I’m just not sure, what if –?’ he said, turning to Jessica who was standing behind him.
‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ said Jessica impatiently just as a maid came down the corridor. Stopping outside Angelica’s door, she looked uncertainly at the furtive pair who were clearly loitering with intent.
‘Edward Granger,’ said Jessica, as if that explained and excused everything.
‘Oh, yes,’ the maid replied excitedly. ‘Are you waiting to go in?’
‘He is,’ said Jessica. ‘But we really want to surprise Angelica. Could we borrow your key?’
‘Well, I’m not sure,’ she prevaricated, ‘but … I suppose it’s OK.’
Edward gave her his best movie-star beam, at which point the nervous maid seemed to accept that, despite the fact he looked like he’d been in a fight and was covered in tarmac, the famous occupant of the suite would be happy to see him. Fame got you everywhere, thought Edward, as she handed over her key card.
‘Go on,’ said Jessica impatiently. ‘I’ll wait for you out here.’
At last, taking a deep breath, Edward inserted the key and quietly let himself in.
‘Hello,’ he said.
Angelica, who had her back to him, spun round from where she was standing in front of a full-length mirror.
In that instant Edward realized she’d been scrutinizing her own appearance and, as it dawned upon him that she was as nervous as he was, his jitters miraculously disappeared.
‘Edward, you startled me. I was just …’ She blushed.
Edward’s heart pounded as he absorbed his first proper sight of her in over two decades. My God, she was beautiful. It was so good to see her and she was as exquisite as ever.
‘Don’t be embarrassed. If it makes you feel any better, it took me ages to select which shirt to wear today, and then I ruined it all by getting dragged under a bus,’ he said ruefully.
Angelica felt her entire body relax. Looking up demurely, she smiled at her ex-husband in a way that made him shiver with nostalgia. She had no idea what he was talking about but he hadn’t lost the knack of putting her at ease. A wonderful quality she’d always admired him for.
‘How bizarre,’ she said shyly in her accented voice. ‘I haven’t seen you for so many years but somehow now it only feels like yesterday.’
‘I know what you mean,’ said Edward. ‘Can I come in, by the way?’
‘You are – in,’ she said rather lamely.
An awkward silence ensued. Often the way, when there is so very much to be said. Eventually Angelica broke it, however, by saying, ‘You’re bleeding.’
‘Am I?’ said Edward jumpily. ‘So I am,’ he concurred, having noticed the drops that were falling at a fairly rapid rate on to the pale carpet. ‘It’s nothing really, just a surface wound,’ he added, though in reality the only thing keeping him apart fr
om accident and emergency was adrenaline.
‘Right,’ said Angelica, looking unsure. ‘Well, maybe you should at least take that ripped shirt off. There is gravel on it. Were you serious about the bus thing?’
‘Yup,’ said Edward, blushing to his roots and suddenly horribly body conscious. There was no way in hell he was getting his man boobs out.
Angelica picked up the phone to call housekeeping. ‘Hello, please could you find a gentleman’s shirt for me and bring it up right away? Collar size thirty.’
‘Thirty-six, actually,’ interjected Edward, mortified by how much chin he’d gained in recent years.
‘Oh – thirty-six. Merci.’ She put down the phone. ‘In the meantime, would you like to borrow a robe from the bathroom?’
‘A robe,’ said Edward, leaping upon the idea. ‘Yes, there’s one in the bathroom, is there? I’ll just grab it,’ he said, scuttling across the room to the bathroom and re-emerging a few moments later ensconced in a fluffy piece of robe heaven.
‘I’ve imagined this moment many times but somehow I never pictured myself wearing a lady’s robe,’ he said drily.
Angelica stifled a giggle.
‘It’s good to see you, Ange,’ Edward said, his face suddenly serious.
‘Why didn’t you reply to my letters?’ she said, cutting to the chase by asking the question she’d been wondering the answer to for much of her life.
Edward shook his head. ‘I never got a letter.’
‘Not a letter,’ said Angelica, trembling with emotion. ‘Letters, Edward. I wrote you hundreds of letters, hundreds. And in them I explained everything and begged for your forgiveness.’
‘Swear on Jessica’s life you wrote them.’
Angelica’s eyes flashed with anger. ‘How dare you insult me? Is it not enough that I have lived with your silence all these years, knowing that I hurt you so badly that you couldn’t forgive me? Knowing that I made a mess of the one thing that mattered to me? Of course I swear on Jessica’s life and my own.’
‘Didn’t you hear me? I didn’t get them,’ Edward replied. ‘And as it happens, Ange, you aren’t the only one who’s been hurt. You just upped and left. One minute you were there, my whole world. The next you were gone, only you didn’t think to talk to me first. Jessica said you were ill. Is that true, because if it is then I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me?’
‘I did,’ replied Angelica, all pretence at self-control having deserted her. ‘Or at least I did try, but you kept telling me it would be fine, not to worry, that I should have more help and to cheer up. Only it wasn’t the kind of help I needed, Edward. Truth be told, I was seriously mentally ill so “cheering up” wasn’t something I was capable of.’
‘OK,’ said Edward, a lone tear already coursing down his face. ‘I get that, but how could you have left our baby? She was three, Ange, and for years I had to figure out how to be her mother and her father all on my own, while the one person I would normally turn to when things got tough had buggered off. You weren’t the only one feeling down, let me tell you. I missed you so much it hurt. Really bloody hurt.’
Angelica hung her head in shame. All the fight seemed to have left her body and she collapsed on to the bed in a defeated heap. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said in a voice so faint Edward could only just make out what she’d said.
‘And why didn’t you ring?’ he demanded to know.
‘Because you made it very clear you wouldn’t talk to me unless it was through Jill, so I gave up.’
‘No, not then. I mean now, recently? I thought you were going to ring me after you’d spoken to Jessica, but you didn’t.’
‘I didn’t realize you wanted me to,’ said Angelica. ‘You made that pretty clear.’
Edward just shook his head in frustration. How had they made such a hash of everything?
‘So, these letters,’ he said eventually, sounding desolate. ‘Why do you think they never reached me?’
Angelica shrugged, but having spent years pondering exactly this conundrum the temptation to share her theory was too much. ‘I think Pam … maybe?’
‘Pamela?’ repeated Edward. ‘But why would she –?’
‘She never really liked me,’ said Angelica, ‘and when I was ill she just couldn’t grasp why I was struggling when I had everything I could possibly need. Plus she wanted a baby so badly but couldn’t have one …’
Edward shook his head, unable even to contemplate what she was saying. ‘No, I just don’t think Pam would do anything that underhand.’
‘Well, can you come up with a better idea?’ Angelica asked and she raised her face to stare Edward intently in the eye.
‘I don’t know, but it wasn’t Pam. She saw how devastated I was and she would never hurt me like that.’
Angelica gave the smallest of shrugs. If he wasn’t prepared to even consider what she was saying there was no hope.
Meanwhile, Edward just stared at her, drinking in everything about her. God, she was devastating in every sense of the word.
‘What?’
‘Nothing,’ said Edward. ‘It’s just so weird seeing you after all these years. It almost makes me feel young again.’
‘Don’t start getting all maudlin about your age now,’ said Angelica, smiling despite herself. ‘My God, at least you’re a man. Getting older has got to be easier for you than it is for us women.’
But Edward wasn’t fooled. ‘Oh, bollocks, Ange. I’ve seen your recent movies and you look happier in your skin now than you ever did, and still as beautiful.’
Angelica shivered. Hearing him call her Ange was such a thrill and one that evoked so much nostalgia. Equally thrilling was hearing him admit that he’d watched her movies. She’d always imagined he’d cut her off in every way, as if she had never even existed, but apparently not. She gave him a cautious smile.
‘Although, hang on, we don’t say that, do we?’ he said now. ‘Let me correct myself. You are still as wonderfully intelligent and engaging to converse with.’
Now Angelica flung her head back and let out a real belly laugh as she recognized the reference to what had been a private joke between them for years.
At one Hollywood party, not long after they’d got together, Edward had decided to count how many times people complimented his stunning girlfriend on her appearance. During that one evening alone it turned out she was told a staggering fifty-nine times that she looked ‘beautiful’, ‘breathtaking’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘stunning’. No wonder then that such platitudes had never resonated with her particularly. Later that night, as they’d talked in bed, Angelica had admitted that she’d initially fallen for Edward because one day on set he’d complimented her on how funny she was. Later, in private, she’d almost cried with gratitude.
‘Don’t you see?’ she’d said, snuggled tightly into Edward’s arms. ‘When you’re beautiful, all you want is for someone to tell you that you’re clever, or funny, or anything positive at all that refers to your personality. In fact, it takes a truly intelligent man to understand that in order to bed a beautiful woman he would do well to tell her that she’s clever. Whereas the plain girl, who has got by in life by making herself the funniest, the wittiest, the most profound person possible, really just wants to hear that she’s beautiful and desired. It’s that simple.’
Since that day Edward had taken great care not to hark on about how beautiful he found Angelica and to concentrate on all the other wonderful things about her that made her the woman she was. The woman he adored. Clearly, he still remembered.
Laughing, Angelica said, ‘The sad thing is, I know my looks are fading because these days I’ll take any compliments I can get.’
Edward laughed too. ‘I know the feeling.’
Angelica looked at him and, as their eyes met, their faces grew serious and a powerful frisson passed between them. Without thinking, Angelica stood up and reached for his hand. ‘You have no need to worry, Edward; you are still the most beautiful man I have ever known.’
Her touch was like an electric shock and Edward’s nerve endings instantly stood on end while impulses fired though his body, making him feel like the king of the world. Even while wearing a woman’s robe …
Emotions he hadn’t let himself feel for years flooded every part of him, though they were tinged with a huge sadness for all that they had lost. He was also experiencing a sudden, if not entirely unexpected, stirring in his loins. Gazing into Angelica’s almond-shaped green eyes he fought an almost uncontrollable urge to reach out and stroke her cheek, to trace the contours of those incredible cheekbones with his finger. To kiss her.
He gulped and, before he could get any more carried away, pulled his hand back. Angelica also removed her hand at exactly the same time, breaking the moment as quickly as she had created it.
‘Why didn’t you marry him?’ asked Edward.
‘I don’t love him,’ replied Angelica plainly. Having lived with years of unanswered questions, she wasn’t going to waste more time with anything less than the complete truth. ‘I haven’t truly loved anyone since you,’ she admitted and Edward’s stomach lurched alarmingly as again he was swamped by a desire to pull her into his arms. There was nothing he wanted more.
‘Whereas you clearly haven’t had that problem,’ she added slightly bitterly.
‘My marriage is over actually,’ interrupted Edward. ‘Betsey and I have split up. We just haven’t made the announcement yet.’
‘Oh,’ said Angelica, her green eyes stunned. ‘Right,’ she said briskly, furious with herself for feeling what she was feeling. ‘Maybe she was too young for you?’ she suggested for want of something better to say. ‘Sorry, none of my business.’
‘No, it’s not,’ said Edward, experiencing a stab of loyalty towards Betsey. Angelica looked mortified and terribly hurt, so he added quickly, ‘You’re probably right though. She is very young, though not as young as the women they’re trying to cast me against these days. I had a fucking awful meeting the other day with an utter prick of a producer and you wouldn’t believe who he cast as my love interest.’