by Albion, Rex
“Oh, very droll!”
Chapter Eleven
Exploring the temple’s complex a little more, they’d soon discovered a series of rooms carved into the rock behind the statue of the Goddess of Love. The stone door was a huge slab of what looked like marble, and it slid smoothly aside when Vandal touched his hand to the stylised carving of a couple intertwined in a romantic embrace, which he now recognised as a symbol of the goddess.
The mechanism appeared to be magical, and it opened to reveal a long corridor. The dust on the floor was undisturbed and suggested that the cultists hadn’t been able to get into this area. Along the walls hung lamps, similar to the prison area, but of much higher quality. The magical illumination sprang to life when they stepped inside, hauling armfuls of loot.
At the furthest from the temple, they found a suite of rooms that seemed to be reserved for the high priest. A few side doors had revealed much simpler bedrooms, but this was clearly a grand affair. They entered the suite straight into a huge room, with doors leading off it. If they’d had a TV, this would be where Vandal would put it. There were comfortable sofas, and armchairs, although everything was covered in dust.
There was a large and well-furnished bedroom, with a bathing room en suite to it, and even a walk-in dressing room. Through another door of the main room was a combined library and office and then the final room was a kitchen, although in a far less high-tech style than they were used to.
They dumped the gear on the bed, which kicked up a little dust and then both wandered around, getting a feel for the room. It seemed likely to him that this would be where they’d live from now on. It was a hell of an upgrade for level two characters, even if it came with some responsibility and the mattress was old, but surely more comfortable than a fur flung over the altar in the temple.
Roxy had found a lectern by a writing table in the main room, and was leafing through a huge folio book, at least as tall as Vandal’s mighty forearm. He went over and put his arms around her, kissing her head and looking at the illuminated manuscript over her shoulder.
“It’s The Amorian Scriptures. It looks like it’s everything we need to know about the mythology of Amoria, and how to function as her priests.”
“That’s a relief. I’m glad we don’t have to improvise.”
Vandal found a dusty old blanket, folded up over the back of a chair and shook it out, which he immediately regretted. Coughing and spluttering from the dust he was thankful it hadn’t gone in his eyes. It smelled stale but at least everything in here was dry. It just needed out. Roxy clearly found his mistake amusing.
There was a nice wooden dining table and he spread the blanket over it to protect it. The table belonged to him and Roxy now, and he could picture his parents yelling at him for scratching the highly polished wood. It seemed natural to take care of it, after all, this video game was kind of their life now.
Carefully they laid out everything they’d got from the resplendent chest, and he sat down to wait for Roxy to do her thing.
Her first target was the colourful silk shirt, which he was already wearing. Once her spell had been cast, he was able to inspect the properties.
Stylish Spider Silk Shirt of Love: Level 2 - Legendary Clothing
Armour 2
Magic:
Stylish Demeanour - Charm vs Sapient Species +1
Aura of Comfort - Minus 10% Encumbrance From Chest Armor
Elven Lothario - +1 Stealth in Gardens and Balconies
VIP Access - Quality establishments have a high chance of treating the wearer as if they were a recognised notable, regardless of social rank.
Description: This fashionable shirt is made of exceptionally rare Spider Silk from the southern jungles, and is imbued with powerful magic dedicated to Amoria, the Goddess of Love.
“Stealth in gardens and balconies is a pretty weird bonus,” Vandal mused.
“Have you ever seen Cyrano de Bergerac? Or Roxanne?” Roxy asked.
“I can’t say I have.”
“Well, he spends a lot of time standing below Roxanne’s balcony, reading love poetry or letters so he can seduce her. So, perhaps that’s what it’s for, creeping around when you’re trying to seduce a conquest?”
“I think the Charm and armour value might be more useful,” Vandal said. “I mean, I’ve already seduced a sexy woman, so I don’t need to do that, but perhaps the charm helps with merchants or talking your way past guards?”
Roxy giggled. “Who seduced who?”
“Yeah, I suppose I might have that the wrong way round.”
“Anyway, aren’t you going to be seducing any more women?”
“What? No! You’re my high priestess, right?”
“Yes, but you’re going to build a harem now, aren’t you?”
“I hadn’t really thought about it. It seems you have though.”
“Of course, It’s part of the reason I picked New Albion,” Roxy said.
“So, wait, you’re actually encouraging me to start a harem?” Vandal asked, still not quite sure he should believe his ears.
“Definitely. Don’t you think it would be hot? It’s like a cross between a party and a big pile of snuggle bunnies, all devoted to you,” Roxy said, eagerly.
Vandal smiled and kissed her. “Of course, it would be, if you’re into it. I just didn’t think I’d meet anyone like you.
“Wild, isn’t it? Can you believe your luck?” Roxy grinned.
“No, not really. I mean, the bit where I got hit by a self-driving car seemed pretty unlucky.”
“Super unlucky. But after that? Now?”
“I think I’m the luckiest Barbarian in all of New Albion.”
“Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner ladies and gentlemen! Correct answer. Now, the sooner we get this done, the sooner we can do more fun things,” Roxy said.
“Such as?”
“Kissing, questing, fucking, fighting, building a harem, the usual,” Roxy said.
“What I used to do every day I suppose,” Vandal said, nonchalantly.
Roxy picked up the rather colourful leather trousers next.
Purple Paramour Pants: Level 2 - Rare Clothing
Armour 1
Magic: +1 Charisma, +1 Style
Description: With these leather pants, you’re sure to impress the citizens of New Albion, whether or not they are worshippers of Amoria.
“Seems like it’s time to ditch the loincloth then,” Roxy said. “I’d rather see you in these anyway. We can get you a custom loincloth when we have some money, and they can do that big package of yours proper justice.”
Vandal grinned. Purple wasn’t his favourite colour, but you didn’t get choices like this in regular life, and he’d already seen far more outlandish fashion statements in town before he came here. It was a relief to drop the loincloth, and Roxy subconsciously chewed her lip as she watched him slip into the deep purple pants.
She nodded approvingly, then turned back to the table to identify the dress.
Ravishing Ranger Dress of Amoria: Level 2 - Legendary Clothing
Armour 2
Magic:
Ranged Bonus - +1 to Ranged attacks, Magical, Thrown or Missile
Ranger’s Stealth - +1 Stealth in Woods & Forest +2 in Elven Lands
Magical Pockets - What has the Ranger got in her pockets? Everything!
Aura of Comfort - Minus 10% Encumbrance From Chest Armour
Legendary Power – Anti-chafing Chainmail
Wear chainmail over this item, and you’ll never experience chafing from the armour. Additionally, this power reduces the noise chainmail makes during movement, counteracting the stealth penalties normally associated with it and allowing a ranger to wear heavier armour.
Description: A slinky dress made for an Elven Ranger, this stylish viridian and russet dress for all occasions, flatters the figure at a feast while being practical for a day of vanquishing evil and protecting the forest! For the practically minded Ranger, it’s excellent for layering, highly breathable, an
d has inter-dimensional storage pockets to keep your gear stowed without spoiling the lines of your dress!
Vandal expected Roxy to need help getting into the tight-fitting green and brown leather dress, but she stripped off, and he barely got to admire her curves before she had it on.
“I see what they mean by ‘breathable’,” Roxy said. The dress displayed an impressive amount of her cleavage, had wide oval cut-outs that revealed her softly curved belly, and a lot of her back, and the skirt didn’t reach her knees. There was almost as much of her body on display as was covered. It looked great but didn’t seem practical.
Roxy took a few turns around the room and tested it out. It seemed a lot less restrictive than Vandal would have guessed a leather dress would be. It wasn’t going to impede her fighting.
Then she demonstrated the pockets. Though her fetish was quite large, once she slid it in the pocket on her hip, it simply disappeared. True to the description you couldn’t tell there was even a pocket there. “I wonder how big these are?” Roxy mused.
“Maybe you won’t even need a rucksack? It looks great on you. The chainmail buff sounds good, once we can find some for you,” Vandal said.
“Yes, I hate it when games make the magic users wear robes and not armour. It’s such last century game design.”
“Right? Or when they do that stupid thing where you can’t use a mace because you’re an archer or an axe because you’re not a dwarf?”
“Yuck. I’m loving New Albion so far,” Roxy agreed. They looked at the rest of the loot. They’d got a few small purses and counting out the various coins they contained, took a few minutes as they tried to work out what each one was.
Altogether they had about twenty-five gold in all. Neither of them knew how much that was going to buy them but it all counted. They’d also got four potions of Minor Healing.
Babydoll of the Boudoir: Level 2 - Rare Clothing
Armour 1
Magic: +1 Charisma, +1 Style, +1 Arousal, +1 Seduction
Description: This sheer babydoll is a terrible choice if you want to get a good night of sleep. Your lover is bound to come to attention when you wear this little number.
Roxy held it up against her body and grinned at him. “I don’t think you are going to need the encouragement, but I don’t mind not sleeping through the night,” she said.
“I’ll do my best to help you with that,” Vandal agreed.
They had some generic Elven vambraces and greaves, to protect their forearms and shins. They were made of dark green leather and padded with softer material. They were magical, but weren’t rare or legendary so they had very basic bonuses. With an armour value of one they didn’t add all that much protection, but their magic did make them 50% lighter which couldn’t hurt.
All that remained were the shield and Roxy’s staff, and they were of rare quality so turned out to be more interesting than the lower-level gear.
Shield of Evening Shade: Level 2 - Rare Shield
Armour 3
Magic: +2 Block, +2 Deflect Missiles, +1 Stealth in Woods & Forests
Description: This dark green shield is favoured by the forest Elves for its balance of protection, portability and contribution to remaining hidden until their foe is ambushed.
Lightning Rod: Level 2 - Rare Elemental Staff
Damage 2-5
Magic: +1 Wisdom, +1 Lightning Damage, +4 Lightning Defence, +1 Lightning Rage
Description: This staff was grown from the lightning resistant roots of a Dryad Holme, and embedded with a Galvanic Crystal. It focuses lightning magic for attacks and earths it for defence.
“That’s much better armour than you had, and easy to stow if you need a big weapon,” Roxy said.
“It’ll be good in a fight,” Vandal said, trying the shield on for size, “That staff is a big bonus though. Much better than the sword for you, I should think.”
“I can’t wait to fry someone with it, and it looks like I’ll have the upper hand against anyone with lightning powers of their own.”
“I’m honestly hoping we don’t meet too many of them, but it’s good to have all the same. I think it’s time to level up now.”
“Sounds fun, let’s do it.”
“Interesting phrasing.”
Chapter Twelve
They both sat on the bed, leaning up against the musty pillows, and opened up the notifications that were blinking away, telling them that they’d levelled up. It seemed more comfortable than standing up to do it.
It was very different actually being immersed fully in the game, than sitting in a chair and watching your character stand up, Vandal had found. The developers had given them a simulation of fatigue and sore muscles and a need for sleep. He was finding that he needed to take care of himself, even though he could heal from wounds that would kill a mere mortal.
His character information filled his screen. The view had a paper doll showing his equipment in the right hand third of the viewable area. It was an opaque window that his HUD displayed over his view of the room, and he thought of it as a screen. A list of his stats rested alongside it. The left half of the screen was where the actual options on what to get were displayed.
Vandal had been granted a whole three attribute points to assign to his stats. He looked at the list. Strength, Fortitude, Dexterity, Wisdom, Intelligence and Charisma were the primary stats which he could increase directly. Then there were some other stats which were derived from the primary stats and would increase a little when he buffed them. Reflexes, Stamina, Perception, Health Points and Magic Points were all reliant on a combination of two of his other primary stats, and his level.
Each skill and attribute had a tooltip, so he was easily able to verify they had the sorts of effects he was used to. Reflexes described his reaction speed and was based on his Dexterity and Wisdom. Stamina was based on his strength and fortitude and was used up during exertion, which the tooltip meant everything from running, to sex.
He hadn’t noticed it during sex yet, but then his body felt just like it had in real life, only a lot more muscular. Vandal still felt out of breath, just as he’d expect to. He sweated and breathed heavily. In fact, thinking about it, sex would be very dull without those sensations and the raw physicality of a human body.
Perhaps if he did as Roxy was suggesting and got a harem, he’d find out what it was like to deplete his stamina pool but it didn’t seem to be a problem now and for running about, acquiring a horse or other mount of some kind seemed like a good option to explore.
Health points simply used strength plus fortitude, like the others, divided by two and then adding his level. Which meant even if you didn’t buy physical stats, your reflexes, stamina and health points would still climb slowly as you levelled up. Perception was derived from intelligence and dexterity and used to alert him passively of things like stealthy characters, traps or ambushes.
Finally, his magic points would be intelligence, plus wisdom, divided by two and adding his current level. Because he’d invested more points in the stereotypical barbarian from his favourite sword and sorcery properties, and hadn’t obsessively read about the game, he just concentrated on the obvious physical stats in character generation. He knew that at later levels every class did get some skills they might use with magic points, but that not all skills required them, and some required stamina points instead.
There was nothing revolutionary about the game mechanics of New Albion, which suited him fine. Revolutionary usually meant some idiot had taken a perfectly good polyhedral dice and given however many sides it had an indecipherable pictograph which couldn’t be read across a gaming table as if that changed the fact it was just a random number generator.
Revolutions sucked. You never got what you wanted or deserved that way, just a massive mess that could only be improved upon incrementally. Vandal was fine with Strength dictating what he could lift, and how much damage he did with melee weapons. He was tempted to just put one point in each of Strength, Fortitude and Dexter
ity since they would all benefit his fighting style as a Barbarian. Before he did that a thought occurred to him.
“Roxy, what do you think I should put my stat points in? I was thinking of the physical attributes but then I was wondering about the priest side of things. Should I focus on that, do you think?” He’d realised that while his Barbarian side would mostly use skills that consumed stamina points and were based on his physical attributes, his priest abilities, whatever they might be, might use his wisdom, intelligence attributes and magic points instead. In fact, he was pretty sure that would be the case.
“I’m having the same dilemma. Do I want to focus on damage or healing stats, which for me means buying more Wisdom or Intelligence, respectively? Then there’s my new priest class as well. If we’re going to build this place up,” she said, gesturing at the high priest's bedroom around them, “we should probably look at what the secondary priest class is like before we decide, right?”
“Yeah. It could be a lot more useful than our main classes at this level. Hey, look, I’ve got a share screen option,” Vandal said, and mentally clicked the button to enable it.
“I got the popup,” Roxy said.
Roxy Lickspring has accepted your invitation to share character information.
Beside his own screen, he could now see Roxy’s stats and character levelling information too, and freely explore and compare their attributes and abilities. Much like comparing two weapons in the inventory, Roxy’s lower strength attribute showed up as red, while his was green.
“That’s neat. Look, we can skip making attribute choices for now,” Roxy said, dismissing that window for the time being. “Same with skills, and we aren’t getting access to new class abilities at this level. Right, here it is, secondary class, High Priestess.”