by Albion, Rex
“You’re cheating! You can’t do that. It’s not allowed!” Drumff whined. Vandal was pretty sure he didn’t have a case that would stand up in a court of gaming, and he slashed at the fool’s arm as he tried to fend him off, all the while gibbering nonsensical excuses at him.
Roxy had already let rip with another of her lightning spells and the scream had a different accent this time, so she’d decided to soften them up.
Drumff was too annoying for Vandal to leave behind him though, so he took care of the injured bandit.
Whirling Decapitation! You spin around and lop the head from your opponent!
Vandal was facing Roxy’s opponents as Drumff’s head flew into the river with a splash.
“You killed my father-in-law,” Garth howled, his eyes clearly manic as he advanced.
“Shit, sorry about that,” Vandal shouted.
“You will be!” Garth shouted.
“Some poor bastard probably lives down river from that filth’s corpse,” Vandal agreed. “I’m sure you’re right, there’s probably a fine for dropping big shits in the water supply, right?” That response only seemed to confuse and upset Garth more.
Behind Vandal, the other bandit had been trying to get up, but Vandal casually used another Slash and left him a gurgling, bleeding ruin, without even looking back at him.
Garth’s eyes bulged from his head in a mix of awe and terror at the casual lack of thought Vandal had put into it. Vandal did his best feral snarl. He’d honestly thought the flashy move wouldn’t work but he was feeling pretty cool right now.
“Roo! Shorn! Get that bastard!” Garth urged his remaining men.
Roo man was bald but wearing some kind of black eye makeup that was a poor choice, given the way it was mixing with his drug-crazed eyes and the sweat pouring down his face. It was probably supposed to make him look more masculine and intimidating but just made him look like a sad clown. Despite that, he was in better shape than the other one, who Roxy had burned on the thigh with her lightning.
“I think he’s high, you know,” Vandal muttered as Garth and his two idiots advanced on them.
“I think they all are. They’re idiots.”
“Criminals are a cowardly and incredibly stupid lot,” Vandal agreed.
“Let’s end this,” Roxy said, lifting her staff and pointing at the uninjured one.
Vandal charged in, slashing both Roo and Shorn, as Roxy’s lightning burned Shorn. He stepped past their wild swings and closed with Garth who was looking likely to flee. There was no way he was getting away from them today.
Hack: 8 damage!
Hack applies Numbing!
Vandal laughed as the inept younger bandit screwed up his face as if about to cry. “You’re cheating. You’re cheats!”
True to her word, Roxy detonated his head with her finishing move and Vandal was pleased he’d taken a few quick paces to the side once Garth dropped his sword. He avoided the fountain of blood as Roxy casually finished Roo and Shorn off too.
You killed one Bandit (lvl 2). 20 XP
Your finishing moves killed four Bandits (lvl 2). 88 XP
Battle Reward: Your actions have increased the security around the Watchtower. For dealing with five level two Bandits, you have earned a reward of 100 Battle Points.
“That was more satisfying than I expected,” Roxy said.
“It does help when they’re really obnoxious,” Vandal said.
Roxy hummed to herself as she started gathering up their weapons and checking for coins. Vandal looked up and down the road. No-one was in sight but he grabbed each corpse and hauled it to the end of the bridge so it wouldn’t obstruct any travellers. Sadly, Drumff’s head was way down stream already so there wasn’t much he could do about that. He really hoped the people in the next village boiled their water.
“Five swords, five daggers, some coin purses. I didn’t keep the food, it looked rotten.”
“They weren’t very good bandits, I suppose we can’t expect anything interesting in the way of loot,” Vandal sighed. “Come on, let's get going.”
“We’re a lot closer to having the tower repaired though!” Roxy said, cheerfully. Despite the gore, Vandal wasn’t really having much of a problem killing these people. Perhaps that’s why they were so vile, so he wouldn’t get upset by finishing off cultists and bandits.
New Albion was a lot less antiseptic than the average massively multiplayer game he’d played, and of course utterly lifelike in many respects so he could see it taking a toll that normal games wouldn’t, if it wasn’t so black and white about the good guys and bad guys.
Thankfully they weren’t accosted by any more bandits, though Vandal did flag down a passing patrol of guards on horseback. They didn’t seem in the slightest bit perturbed when he reported having killed five men on the road who were bandits.
“Thank you, High Priest Lionheart,” Sergeant Bercol said. “We’ll deal with the bodies, and you can pick up your reward at the Watch House in the town square this evening after we’ve made our report.”
“Reward, Sergeant? We don’t require a reward for our actions, we were just doing what any traveller would do if attacked. We picked up their weapons and a small amount of coin they had. Presumably we should hand in their ill-gotten gains at the Watch House?” Vandal ventured.
Sergeant Bercol laughed. “No, no need for that. You’re entitled to keep anything you find on them, coins or weapons and the like. If you found something easily identifiable like a family heirloom, or a monogrammed snuffbox, and want to return it, we might be able to help with that. Rich merchants, and noble families often give rewards for such service. The capital offers a standing bounty for bandits, and other criminals. It’s nothing much, but perhaps it can help you. I appreciate you asking though. Few adventurers are honest enough to even think of that. But then I suppose you are both priests, aren’t you? May I ask which god you serve?”
Vandal smiled, happy that they didn’t have to hand in the loot. He was much more comfortable with being mercenary about such things, but it was worth checking. Goodwill and reputation tended to be more valuable in the long term, especially with local government and guards. “We recently joined the Cult of Amoria.”
“Amoria, you say? The Elvish goddess of love? Are you passing through or is there a temple being founded?” the Guard Sergeant asked. He seemed amused and a little surprised, but not offended or lascivious in any way.
“We hope to have a temple available soon.”
“Good. I wish you every success, we could do with some of the less stuffy gods around here,” Bercol said. “A barbarian and a goblin shaman, becoming priests of Amoria. One day, you must tell my wife and I the story over a pint of ale. I’m sure it has to be a good one and she does love a good tale.”
New Acquaintance: You have made a new friend, contact, or ally, Sergeant Bercol, Tinshire Town Watch. 50 XP
New Quest: Tall Tales. You have a new quest from Sergeant Bercol to tell them the story of how you became Clerics of Amoria. Would you like to accept it?
“We shall do that, Sergeant, when we have the temple running as the goddess requires,” Vandal replied as he accepted the quest.
“Good day,” the Sergeant said, as he mounted his horse. “Come on you lot, burial duty awaits.”
“Not for you Sarge,” one of the soldiers pointed out.
“Privileges of rank son, privileges of rank,” Sergeant Bercol said, as they rode off.
“Well, that had me worried for a moment,” Roxy said. “I did wonder if they’d be upset about us killing people.”
“Me too. I wonder what the quest reward is, it’s a secret at the moment,” Vandal said. The Tall Tales quest simply showed a question mark where others might display some information about a specific item, reward or experience amount.
“We should probably come back and find out as soon as we’re ready to get visitors. He seemed interested, maybe it would help us find a congregation.”
“At the very least,
it doesn’t hurt to be friendly with the guards. They don’t seem to be antagonistic in Tinshire.”
“I’m glad because the aggressive local law enforcement trope can get tired quickly.”
“Let’s go and see if we can sell our epic loot, shall we?”
“I think we should hand in the quest first,” Roxy said.
“Okay, fine by me. Any particular reason?” Vandal asked.
“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”
“When do I find out?”
“If I’m right and look clever because of it,” Roxy laughed.
“That would work better if you hadn’t told me,” Vandal said.
“I’m pretty sure I can still seem like a big thinker around here,” Roxy cackled.
“Yes, but do you even lift, bro?”
Chapter Nineteen
As Sergeant Bercol had said, the Town Watch of Tinshire had a Tudor style building just off the town square, where the markets were held once a month. The square was comparatively quiet at this time of day. A few citizens sold meat pies, or simple goods but the main commerce was in the streets that led off the square. Vandal expressed surprise that most of the houses around the square at least, were three or even four stories tall and that most had a shop of some kind on the ground floor.
Roxy laughed. “It’s authentic actually. I know this one. If you look at medieval city streets, they’re really cramped, and the buildings are always taller than we’d expect. We look back and think they must have had low buildings before they had better techniques. But actually, they liked everything closer together.”
“I’m sure you’re going to explain why, and I’ll find it riveting.”
“I will, and you’ll nod politely and say, how interesting it is, if you know what’s good for you,” Roxy agreed.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
“Good boy. So, if you want to eat, or buy new shoes, or get a tool repaired, you’ve got to walk to the baker, or the cobbler or the blacksmith. You have to walk to a well or fountain to get water. You’ll notice very few people have horses that aren’t for pulling carts or for their actual employment, like the guards and I bet they only have a few they share for patrols. Horses are really expensive and not practical for urban life either.”
“So, you build close together and high, so more of the shops you regularly need are close by?” Vandal said, and Roxy nodded in agreement. “And the people in the town usually have a business of some kind, so they build their house above it where they can.”
“Exactly. Of course, it’s all different in New Albion because of magic and all sorts of things that affect the way life works around here. But the architectural aesthetic is drawn from real medieval buildings or ancient ones, and they took a lot of reference videos of real streets to do it.”
“Photogrammetry, I think. You can’t fault the world building; it looks and feels real. I kind of wish it didn’t smell so real.”
“I read they had to tone that down about 90%. Our sensitive modern noses couldn’t cope with the authentic atmosphere,” Roxy chuckled.
“If this is toned down, I’d hate to think what it smelled like when it was authentic. I don’t mind the odd bit of realism being sacrificed in the name of enjoying this,” Vandal said.
“Lead on then, I want to see what we’re going to get,” Roxy prompted.
Vandal led the way into the guard house, as if he’d actually been in there before. He hadn’t, he’d met Captain Myers in the town square when he’d been wandering around wondering what to do after first logging in.
He explained to the desk sergeant that he’d come to confirm he’d completed his assigned task, and within a few minutes, they were summoned to Captain Myer’s office.
“Please, take a seat, I’ll be right with you,” Captain Myers said. He was a silver haired, slender man with the type of tan that came from a lot of outdoors work, and a sort of world-weary demeanour. He barely glanced up from his paperwork when they sat down.
He didn’t even take the time to ogle Roxy, which a lot of the townsfolk had done on their way here. Actually, Vandal was pretty sure he’d been ogled a fair bit too, they really did need to find some clothes that fit them better and covered up a bit more too, perhaps.
It was only a few more minutes, during which time the desk sergeant brought three mugs of plain but sweet tea, which Vandal politely sipped while trying not to grimace. Roxy seemed to love it, but then it probably suited her British taste buds. He supposed developing a taste for it, and the local beer and wine wasn’t a bad idea though, so he stuck with it. He’d always found that he could power through new food and drinks and if not learn to love them, at least learn to tolerate them.
“My apologies for the delay, the paperwork never ends around here. You’d think I’d spend most of my time catching villains, but sadly at my rank you mostly report things to your superiors,” Captain Myers sighed and sipped his fresh tea when he realised the cup by his side was cold and empty.
“Not a problem Captain, it’s nice to just sit down and relax for a moment,” Vandal said. “This is my friend Roxy, by the way.”
“Pleased to meet you, I’m sure,” Myers said, politely. He didn’t stand and start shaking hands, or anything but he wasn’t rude or dismissive. “Can I assume that you had some success with the bounty I offered?”
Vandal nodded. “Yes, it’s all taken care of.”
“Well done. I was sure it would all turn out to be nothing. The missing people probably encountered wandering monsters or bandits. But you can’t be too careful with such rumours so thank you for investigating it for me,” said, Myers. “Did you find any explanation for the rumours or the missing people?
Vandal frowned. “Yes, I found a cult operating from a cave deep in the forest. I rescued Roxy from their dungeon,” he explained.
Captain Myers looked genuinely surprised. “Well, I never! That is good work, good work indeed. Were you able to deal with them, or do I need to organise a raid?”
“We took care of them after I freed Roxy.”
“Even better. I’m sure a handful of cultists didn’t give you and your party of Awoken much trouble.”
Roxy almost spat out her tea and Vandal slapped her back to clear her throat.
“Dear me, are you alright, young lady?” Myers asked, passing a handkerchief across the desk so she could wipe her face.
“I’m fine, thank you, Captain, but it wasn’t a handful of cultists that Vandal rescued me from. It was more like two dozen.”
“And I didn’t have a party with me, I was on my own until I found Roxy.”
“No party?” Captain Myers gasped incredulously. “Dear gods. Are you quite mad? What were you thinking of? Fancy attempting such a task on your own!”
“Err. Well. I didn’t think so, but I’m beginning to think I may have been confused.”
“I’m sure I marked the bounty correctly. Do you have your copy?” Myers asked.
Vandal cleared his throat, “No, I’m afraid not.”
“No, matter, I know the Awoken often seem to memorise the bounties and not keep the paperwork,” Myers chuckled. “I probably shouldn’t say this, but I heard that some of them use them in the forest when they’re caught short.”
Vandal laughed. “They don’t know how to use the three shells?” Myers looked puzzled. “Never mind. A joke from my barbarian homeland. It doesn’t translate well.” Myers had got it in one though, that’s exactly what Vandal had done with it. Which reminded him to look for some three-ply, aloe vera toilet roll, if Tinshire wasn’t sold out. Getting stabbed and feeling it wasn’t the only downside of New Albion’s realism.
Myers laughed politely. “You’d think they’d get a Never-ending Ablution Roll before they got in trouble,” he said, and guffawed at their apparent stupidity.
“The fools,” Roxy chimed in merrily. Vandal cleared his throat and brought up a shopping list screen, to make note of that option.
“Don’t their parents teach them anyt
hing?” Vandal said. He was slightly regretting not reading more of the prompts the game had offered him early on.
Myers had been shuffling through a stack of paper on his desk, as they spoke and triumphantly held one up. “Never mind, here's my copy. Thank the gods, it was correctly marked. See, it’s quite clearly a party quest,” he said, his face relaxing with relief, as he turned the poster up the right way for them to read and pointed at an icon.
Vandal looked blankly at Roxy.
“Oh. Oh dear. Am I to take it from your expression that neither of you are familiar with these symbols?” Captain Myers asked. When they shook their heads, he winced, “I’m sorry terribly sorry, it didn’t occur to me when we spoke that one of the Awoken might not know our system. It’s expected that adventurers new to the town will spend some time familiarising themselves with the area and if they do the signs the Watch use is something they learn. Just like going around and joining the Guilds you want to or picking up odd jobs in town to get familiar with the area.”
“Ah well, I may have skipped that step I suppose and just looked for adventure as soon as I arrived,” Vandal said. He had, indeed, skipped the tutorial quests which seemed to want him to walk all over town meeting people and picked up the quest from Myers when he saw one offered.
Myers pulled open a drawer in his desk and withdrew two cheaply bound pamphlets. The printing was rustic to say the least but readable. “Here, before I put my foot in it again, can you both read the Common Tongue? This is something we put together to help visiting adventurers, and most people get a copy immediately.”
Vandal looked at his copy, which bore the title, A Guide to Watch Code: The Secret Signs of the Tinshire Town Watch. Inside were illustrations of various symbols he could see on the bounty posters around the office, with text explaining their meaning.
New Skill: Secret Signs: Tinshire Town Watch. You have gained a new skill through in-game actions. 50 XP