“You know I always forget how observant you are,” I smiled and she rolled her eyes, the green flecks shimmering. Taking a deep breath, I let the guilt I had felt earlier fill my mind, “I’m afraid of what might happen if he does remember.” Saying the words out loud made them all the more real and I felt the pressure build behind my eyes. I swallowed loudly and yet, the lump inside wouldn’t move.
“What do you mean?” she asked, sounding breathless.
“You remember him,” I said and swiped at a tear of betrayal which had broken free from my control. “He didn’t want this, any of it. He had tried for so long to stay away from Morven and had succeeded until I came along, it was because of me he let them take him.” I gathered my strength and pushed back against the building sorrow in my chest. It would not win. “He was afraid of becoming the warrior, and look at what’s happened to him.”
“Are you afraid he’ll blame you?” her question was simple, and yet, it seemed to break me into a thousand pieces.
My breaths came unsteady, but my eyes remained dry, as I resisted the urge to give into the darkness.
“How couldn’t he?” I asked and stared toward the window, hoping the light would help to keep the wetness at bay.
“Lissie,” she said and patted my hand once more, the contact did little to still the trembling of my heart. “Patrick was afraid to become the warrior, in the same way you’re afraid to become the siren. If your roles were switched, could you blame him?”
I blinked quickly as I attempted to understand what she was telling me. Her words rang with truth, and yet, I had a difficult time applying them to how I felt. It didn’t matter if our roles had been switched, I wouldn’t have been able to blame him for what had happened, because Morven was the one who had orchestrated it all.
Even so, there was more to Patrick’s transformation than Kryssa knew. It was because he had thought I was dead, his mind became forfeit to his master. Remembering how angry he used to grow at the mere mention of Morven, was enough to remind me how much he would accuse himself for what had happened. But it was all because of me.
“It’s doesn’t help to blame yourself,” Kryssa offered, bringing my mind back to the conversation at hand.
“I know,” I said and took another steadying breath.
“But I still think you should tell him,” she said and waited until I looked her way.
“Okay,” was all I said, even though I knew I could never do such a thing. The fear of seeing the betrayal in his eyes, was something I knew I couldn’t withstand. “Maybe you can tell him,” I suggested, and she gave a short laugh.
“Maybe I will, when is he scheduled to visit?” her smile was contagious and I felt the quivering in my stomach settle, if only for the moment.
“You know what?” she said and pursed her lips, “we can get out of this room if you want.”
“What?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged, as though it was a minor detail she had forgotten to tell me. “I told you Tunder is beginning to trust you again. I guess this is his way of thanking you for what you did.”
“Really?” I said, feeling as though it was some trick. “I can just walk out that door right now?”
“Yep, although,” she held one finger up, “I would have to come with you.”
“Right,” I said, but decided to fight that battle another day. If it took months to prove my loyalty to Lathmor than I would simply have to do it. “Can we leave?”
“That’s what I just said,” she shrugged and when I stood up from the bed, she led the way to the door and into the empty hall.
Stepping out of the castle archways and into the cool evening air was like submerging into crisp waters on a stifling day. Feeling the world spread out around me and my hair drifting on the breeze brought the confines of my earlier situation into sharper focus.
I glanced to my right and caught Kryssa’s eye, the side of her mouth was raised into a partial smile. “Thanks,” I said and inhaled the salty air.
“Come on,” she said and padded down the stone steps onto the grass-covered hill leading toward the water. I hurried to catch up and felt my spirits lift with each step. The stones of the pathway were cool against my bare feet and the sea breeze rustled the trees, bending their tips as though bowing as we walked past. A bubble of laughter formed in my stomach and I let it go even though I knew it was entirely inappropriate.
“Elik should be out here somewhere,” my companion said, her look more serious than I would have expected.
“You won’t be mad at him, will you?” I asked, not wanting his silence about Zale to cause a rift between them.
“He should have trusted me with the truth,” she mumbled and continued on with powerful strides.
“He was probably just following orders,” I disputed, glancing at her face every now and again. I had to struggle to keep up with her large paces.
“Don’t worry,” she said and glanced my way, “I won’t accuse him.”
“Good,” I nodded, relieved.
We came upon a curve in the pathway and instead of taking the road down to the many houses below, we trudged into the cover of the trees and along the grassy knoll. The palace rose behind us, its once white-polished walls dim in the overcast night sky.
A sudden stillness settled within me. All around us, the Lathmorian island was taking on a life of its own; beckoning me into its embrace. Around trees and down sloping mounds, we walked along a path I knew led to the valley where Nixie’s wedding had been held.
Passing through the valley, the ground began to slope upward. I gazed through the darkness, trying to determine our course, but the clouds afforded me no vantage point.
With each passing moment, my curiosity grew. As the slope continued higher, I felt a throbbing against my legs at the sharp incline. My breaths began to come in larger gulps. I struggled to keep up and huffed loudly as the hill crested. We stepped onto a landing; it stretched for about one hundred yards to our right and left.
Kryssa didn’t pause upon reaching the flat bit of land and instead strode forward, her eyes on a large rock which stood before us. It was only upon getting closer I realized the rock was a structure built by merfolk hands; the stones piled on top of one another to imitate a boulder.
The shadow of a merman suddenly emerged from a hidden entrance in the rock formation.
“What are you doing up here?” The friendly voice of Elik called.
I almost answered, when I suddenly realized he was speaking to the princess beside me. It had been a long time since I had seen him so carefree. Ever since Patrick’s attempted rescue, he had been serious and resilient in the wake of everything around him. Seeing the difference was a welcomed sight, and I watched the rigidness in Kryssa’s spine relax as she turned toward him.
“I thought Lissie could use a walk,” she said and shrugged as he came closer.
The Lathmorian soldier stepped toward us with powerful strides and pulled up when he was roughly an arm’s length away from Kryssa. He smiled in my direction.
“Some walk,” he said, glancing at the steep hill behind us.
“You know what I mean.” Kryssa nudged his shoulder.
He smiled and nodded his head, only to turn his eyes on me again. “How are you?”
“Better,” I said, breathing in the fresh air. There was a gentle breeze up here which caressed my skin in the most delicious way. My attention was captivated by the high rushes on the flat landing which led my eyes back to the stone structure behind Elik. “Where are we?”
“Ahhh,” he said and spun on his foot to gaze in the same direction I was. “You haven’t been here before?”
I shook my head at the same time Kryssa said, “No she hasn’t.”
He looked back in our direction and smiled again, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you. After all, the siren should know.”
My stomach tightened at the word, but I tossed it aside, knowing he was only using it in jest. “Should know what?” I asked. With a h
and he beckoned me over his shoulder.
Stepping on the wispy ends of grass stems, I followed him over the twenty feet to the stone structure, tilted in a rounded arc about the height of a man. The stones were misshapen and chipped, stacked and smashed together to create a semblance of a rounded edge.
The more I looked at it, the more I realized its size and I followed it with my eyes. What I had thought was only a single, rounded stone structure turned into a long tunnel stretching to my left where the flat landing ended with a sudden drop. Only then did I feel the sharp tug of the ocean breeze on my hair and the whipping winds on my clothes. Without a word, I stepped to the right of the stone structure and gasped as I saw the sheer drop off of the ground below me. It plunged sickeningly, the height deadly and incredible at the same time. My mouth hung open and I leaned forward only to feel a large hand encircle my wrist.
“Try not to fall,” Elik chuckled and when I took a step back, he let go of my arm.
“What is this place?” I asked the question again.
“You’re on the other side of Lathmor,” Kryssa folded her arms over her chest, her hip cocked to one side. “This is what we call the Outpost.” She waved a hand in the direction of the arched stones. I mouthed the name and looked to Elik, expectantly.
“You’ve seen the front of Lathmor,” he said and nodded toward the land behind us. “Everything slopes from the palace down to the water, or mostly.” He shrugged on the last note, and I nodded knowing he was speaking of the low cliff walls bracing the island’s shore. Nothing so much as to inspire awe, but large enough to tempt one to climb to the top.
“What you are now seeing is the backside of Lathmor,” Elik continued. “When you walked here, you went down a slope through the valley, until you reached the bottom of this hill. This one is a little shorter than what we consider to be the main mound, but it has its strengths, due to being impenetrable.”
“Meaning, you only have to worry about attack from the front of the island,” I said and felt something click inside my mind.
In all the time I had spent here, I had never considered why the Hyven always attacked from the front of the island instead of around the back. I felt almost ashamed to realize I was unaware of all Lathmor had to offer.
“Exactly,” the soldier beside me said.
“Then what’s the building for?”
“It doesn’t hurt to have a lookout,” he smiled down at me. “We catch glimpses of Hyven scouts out in the waters from time to time, we’ve even had a few attempt to climb the cliff wall, but none have ever made it more than halfway to the top, before we disrupt their progress.” I nodded, guessing at his meaning.
“So are you on duty?” I asked, not really sure of what else to say.
“In a sense,” he shrugged.
“No,” Kryssa said from my other side. “He’s here to make sure the outlooks are doing their job. The guard has been doubled since my father’s death. We still aren’t sure how the killer got into Lathmor.”
I nodded, “That’s good.”
Thinking back, I remembered how easy it was for me to sneak into Lathmor undetected when the Hyven had attacked. I had shared my concerns with Tunder and it was nice to hear they were being taken to heart. Of course, that night the outer guards had already been killed by the earlier arriving Hyven.
“Sounds like you trust her now,” Elik said, with a hint of amusement.
“I think she proved herself this morning,” Kryssa responded to his remark quickly and I felt my chest lighten as I began to really enjoy the idea of her trusting me once more.
“I guess she did,” he said, even though there was a hint of something deeper in his voice.
Letting the awkward moment pass, I stepped in front of both of them. Peering harder at the stone structure, I spotted a small opening and had to duck, in order to glance inside. In the dimness, a small room opened before me, with a tiny window on the right side where a lookout could stand. The ceiling was just high enough for a merman to stand without having to bend over until the stone roof curved down toward a low hallway. I presumed the humps I saw along the landing each marked a stone room and had an outward facing window with which to keep an eye on the churning ocean below.
Pulling my head out from the room, the sea breeze lifted my hair once more and refreshed my face with its newness. I could only imagine how stiflingly hot the stone room could get in the middle of the day. Thinking of my place in Kryssa’s room, inside the palace, I realized how much nicer I had it than the outlooks of Lathmor.
“Pretty cool,” I said and straightened back up, looking at the pair behind me.
Their eyes lingered on me for a moment and looked away at almost the exact same time. I almost wanted to laugh at how similar they were, but opted to remain silent, as I waited for them to speak. My gaze landed on Elik and the way his jaw had grown sharp, when he turned to Kryssa, I saw the unspoken apology in his eyes.
“I should have told you,” he said and she nodded. Her fingers reached out and slid between his, accepting without speaking.
In some way I was amazed how far they had come. The Kryssa I had known, would have at least berated him, but this was a different girl than the one I had met on the island nearly a year ago. The war had changed her, much in the same way it had changed me.
It was my turn to look out over the ocean, my eyes scanning the horizon as they tried to grasp upon something other than the rolling dark shrouds of water which formed and disappeared without a trace. My thoughts drifted, as if on the breeze, wondering if Zale was out there in the water somewhere. I so desperately wanted to see some trace of his dark fins, shimmering in the water, but all I could see for miles was the deep emptiness of a disgruntled ocean. All around me, the waves crashed and the breeze pulled at my clothes.
“How do you know it wasn’t him?” Elik asked.
“I just do,” I shrugged, feeling the tingle in my left shoulder as I turned back to them. “I trust him.”
Kryssa nodded and squeezed Elik’s hand and looked away. My heart warmed at her acceptance of what I said. It took a strong person to look at something objectively and trust a friend without abandon.
“More than anything, it’s the way he spoke about how he was controlled by Morven.” They both stilled as I explained. “He told me it was the anger which left him in a sort of fog. No matter what Morven commanded him to do, he had a hard time going against it, because he lived in a clouded world where clear thought was far away from him. But when he saw me for the first time, he was finally able to think for himself.”
“But now Morven can’t control him,” Elik said.
“True,” I nodded, “but the anger can always return. Until this morning, I didn’t realize how powerful it could be.” The last words I spoke were more to myself, but they heard them anyway.
“What do you mean?” Kryssa asked.
I heaved a large breath into my lungs, “You saw what happened when I let the anger control me. At the end, I was trying to get her to tell me who had killed your father.”
“We know,” Kryssa said as though it was obvious.
“You do?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged and glanced at Elik. “We could understand what you were asking her.”
For a moment I remained silent, realizing how simple it really seemed. Of course they would be able to understand. The sounds I made were not dissimilar from the merfolk language we used beneath the water.
“I didn’t realize you would be able to understand,” I said and tried to think back. “I guess my brothers only grasped the gist of what I was saying.”
“Maybe,” she agreed, and I turned back to look at her. “You were saying something about the anger?”
“Oh, right,” I nodded, pulling myself back to the conversation at hand. “Well, when I was trying to clear his name, the more she fought against me, the angrier I got.” Merely thinking of the moment brought my frustrations back to the surface and I had to breathe deeply to still the tremblin
g of my hands. “I wanted so badly to bend her to my will, I didn’t realize how it was taking over.”
“So that’s what happened,” Kryssa said.
“I guess it was obvious, huh?”
“Basically,” Elik said and pursed his lips. “I’ve never seen someone concentrate so hard before. You know you could’ve used some of that determination when I was teaching you how to throw your dagger.”
For a moment we paused, and then the laugher left all of us at the same moment. “You would focus on that,” I said and shook my head.
I had forgotten about my first knife throwing lessons which Elik had orchestrated before our rescue attempt on Hyvar. Although they had proved helpful in my later lessons with Zale, I had shown little skill when I had first attempted to do as Elik bid.
Our laughter died on the breeze and carried away over the ocean, leaving us standing at the top of the hill in silence. The moment passed like so many had before it; a little glimpse of joy, only to be taken and tucked away in our thoughts. A treasured moment standing out as a shining light in all the darkness around us.
“What you did was important,” Elik said, letting go of Kryssa’s hand as he stepped closer to me. “I have to get back to it,” he jerked his head in the direction of the Outpost, “but I wanted you to know Kryssa and I are on your side.”
“Well thanks,” I said casually, even though a generous warmth spread through my stomach.
“Not to mention,” he held up a hand, “half of Lathmor is beginning to as well.” Shocked, I stood still as he passed by me, calling goodbye to Kryssa and ducking into the darkness of the stone arch.
I watched him disappear and turned back to my friend. She spun on her heel and I followed her as she walked across the flat landing until we reached the end, where the trees grew close together in tight packs of tangled branches and beckoning leaves.
It was there we sat, and for the next couple of hours we became what we had been before. We spoke of nothing of importance and only of what made us happy. There was no mention of Zale or Elik, we stayed away from the death of her father, and long forgotten were the moments of Verna’s interrogation. For a couple of hours we simply returned to the best part of ourselves and enjoyed being in one another’s company. But as with all good things, the moment came to an end, and as the sky began to lean toward dawn, Kryssa rose to her feet.
Torrents (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 3) Page 12