I could feel it in my veins, surging forward and overcoming all logical thought. I wanted to make him feel the way I had; to make him beg for me to let him go.
No sooner had the thought entered my mind, then I blanched and everything between us dropped, disappearing as though it had never existed; a mere shadow of something that had been.
Silence fell between us, the water pushing between our bodies and our chests heaving.
Sorry, I murmured, the sound no longer musical. My hand came to my head and I rubbed my brow. My arms were trembling.
I don’t think we need to worry so much anymore, he said casually, and my head shot up. The corner of his mouth lifted as he leaned in to me. If we had been on land, our breaths would have mingled. He kissed me gently. Even Morven had better watch out, he said, and I smiled.
Will you tell them? I asked, the worry of overpowering him with my voice was disappearing.
You can tell them yourself, he shrugged his shoulders. I wasn’t sure I even wanted to leave you behind. Now I see we don’t need to.
Thank you, I said, even though I knew he was fudging the truth a little bit. Of course having my ability was helpful, but in terms of actual hand to hand combat, I wasn’t the best.
Again, he said and jerked his head backward.
I didn’t have any more time to think about my voice for the rest of the day. He put me through moves over and over again until I had slightly mastered them. I wasn’t allowed to use my voice, it immediately gave me the upper hand. I had pointed out it made the fight fair, but agreed with him when he told me I needed to develop my physical fighting skills so I wouldn’t have to use my voice.
He was more aware than anyone, how easily the anger could take over, and though he approved the advantage the voice had, he knew it was dangerous to trifle with. His reasoning only helped to confirm my own fears.
We fought deep into the night, but as my exhaustion became apparent, he brought the lesson to a halt. Without a word, he took my hand and together we dove beneath the waterfall, resurfacing on the other side.
As though of one mind, we pulled ourselves onto the rock and he wrapped me up in his arms, my head lying on his chest. Our tails lay upon the smooth stone, every now and again lifting or sliding against one another.
I sighed heavily, and felt my eyes relax as he traced little patterns over my shoulder. Skin to skin and scale to scale, we were close to one another, relaxed in our embrace. The spray from the waterfall kept us damp, and as my eyes closed, I felt my mind drift away. The memory of my voice filled my mind, even as my body was covered in a blanket of water.
And in my dream when the siren called to me, all I could do was grin and answer back.
_______________
Late morning light crept in and found us, after hours of lying on the hard stone. Magical rainbows danced in the spray from the water and I had tried desperately to remain still, not wanting to lose the moment, but when Zale leaned over to kiss me on the head, it was time to wake. His fins had pushed against mine and I slid into the cool embrace of the pool, watching the lavender light splayed against the sand floor only to be joined by black fractures of shadowy light a moment later.
I had left him at the waterfall, transforming easily and strapping the extra daggers around my waist as I jogged toward the cabin. Inside I found some dried meat and changed into a pair of simple shorts and a top. They wouldn’t dry as quickly, but for just today I wanted to be something other than a soldier.
My arms laden with food and my Lathmorian clothing thrown over my shoulders, I strode back to the waterfall. Upon arriving, a very different sight than I was used to met my eyes. Zale was diving into the depths of the water, his legs kicking him to the bottom, where he would resurface with one or two fish clamped in his strong grip.
“What are you doing?”
“I prefer fresh meat,” he said, tossing two more fish onto the little pile he had created near the water’s edge before pulling himself out of the water. My mouth went dry as I watched the droplets course down his bare chest. There were times I forgot how much larger he was than before.
His wide shoulders and sculpted arms, corded with muscle, proved the strength he held. With each breath he took, his chest rose and for a moment his abdominal muscles stood out before releasing. Before Morven had changed him, he had been strong, incredibly so. But now, his strength had doubled, his arms thicker, his chest larger. I wondered if the clothes he used to wear would even fit him now.
The hint of a grin tugged at the corner of his mouth, and I looked away quickly, aware I had been staring. Heat flushed my cheeks and I squinted in the sunlight, as though I couldn’t really see. The smirk he wore told me my efforts were futile.
He sauntered forward and emptied my arms of the small load. As he walked away, I wondered if he was purposefully trying to make me look at him. His back was straighter than usual, the scars from Morven’s whip standing out in rugged trails; their presence overlooked by the dark glimmer where Nerissa had placed her blade.
As my eyes grazed over the pattern, I realized I had never truly looked at them before. I had touched them, seen them, but I had never really allowed myself to see them for what they were.
The scars were his past, his pain, but also his hidden strength. He had overcome what was supposed to defeat him.
The realization left me standing awkwardly between the water’s edge and the trees. As soon as I realized I was staring again, I hurried to join him.
“Do you think the Lathmorians can win?” I asked as I sank down to the soft grass and he handed me one of the fish he had quickly scaled. I grabbed the fresh meat and popped it into my mouth, letting it slide down my throat the same way I would an oyster.
“Perhaps,” was all he said, as he continued to gut another fish. He placed the raw meat in his mouth and reached for another.
I stretched over to the pile and grabbed a particularly small fish. Each move he made I copied—having done it so many times before at the restaurant—and when the deed was done I let the fresh meat fill my mouth again.
“It all depends,” his deep timber moved around another mouthful, “on what Morven wants to happen.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, trying to ignore the chills his words gave me.
He glanced my way, the soft breeze rippling his hair. “Morven is smarter than the Lathmorians give him credit. He knows what he’s doing. I wouldn’t be surprised if he already knows they’re coming.” He shrugged his shoulders as though it didn’t really matter. “When I was in Hyvar, he always seemed to have an idea for what would happen.”
“Like he has someone on the inside?”
“No,” he shook his head and pursed his lips. “More like he has a knack for reading merfolk. He can figure out what you’re going to do, long before you do it. There were a few times, when I was trying to leave Hyvar to see you, when he showed up unexpectedly. He always appeared innocent, but I couldn’t help wondering if he knew what I was up to.”
“Really,” I said, more in interest than in question. Thinking back to the few times I had seen Morven, I wondered if what Zale said was true.
Normally, when I was in the Hyven leader’s presence, I was frozen with fear, but there had been times when he had predicted my actions. In particular, the time he had kissed me and I hit him. It had all led to my being placed in the dungeon cell next to Patrick’s. Somehow he had known I would tell Patrick what had happened. Maybe Zale was on to something.
“I guess that makes some sense,” I acquiesced, gutting another fish. My hands were getting slimy and I didn’t want to think about how bad they smelled. Of course, I was now part fish, so it didn’t really matter.
Almost laughing at the thought, I wondered if I smelled. If it was anything similar to the salty musk Zale had, I would count myself lucky.
“What I’ve really wondered though,” he said solemnly, his hair shining like molten gold in the sun, “is what his motivations are. He doesn’t really hate the
Lathmorians the way they hate the Hyven.”
“Maybe it’s about power?” I proposed, and he made a face.
“Possibly, but I think it’s more than that.” He shook his head as though it would help to assemble whatever thoughts he had. “There’s something else driving him.” The way he spoke with such affirmation made me wonder if he could be right about this as well.
We continued to gut the fish, our knives working in unison, even though I noticed my hands weren’t as quick as his. He had his own way of taking off the scales in a few smooth strokes. I had never been adept at this task, but my brothers had taught me well. Compared to when I had first learned on a rocking ship, sitting in the grass was much easier.
“Dominance,” he said. I looked up from my work—our earlier words coming back to me. “That’s what he wants.”
“Isn’t that the same thing as power?” I asked.
“Not entirely,” he shook his head. “Power is given. He has power, but that’s only because the Hyven give it to him. Dominance isn’t given, you have to make it. Take it.”
“But they go hand in hand,” I pointed out.
“Yes, and no.” He lifted his eyes to the other side of the cool water before us. “You can have power without dominance, but not the other way around.”
It was my turn to shake my head. “Isn’t power domination?”
“Not necessarily. Think about it this way,” he sighed. “You said Nerissa placed her blade within me and wanted to change me into her warrior. You told me when I originally met her, I was willing to do as she bid. I gave her the power. But when I resisted, she began forcing me to her will.”
“True, but then what do you consider Morven has over you, power or dominance?”
“Neither,” he said and looked back at me. His dark brown eyes seemed to melt. “He used to have both.”
“When I first met you, you were his. You called him Lord Morven.”
“But I broke his hold on me.” He said simply, and sighed as though I wasn’t fully comprehending his point. “You don’t understand what it was like to wake up in that dungeon, not knowing who I was, or if I was even alive. When I heard his voice for the first time, I couldn’t think about anything but what he told me to do. It was like living in a fog. When he told me to stand, I pushed through the pain and did as he said. That’s dominance—not being able to think for yourself. But as I began to see the world open up around me, I was able to shift the power. I gave it back to myself and pushed against the control he had over me.”
I nodded my head. “You mean Morven wants to force his will over others, not simply receive respect.”
“Exactly,” he shrugged. “Tunder has power over the Lathmorians, but that’s because they give it to him. Morven doesn’t want that. He forces us to bend to his will.”
It was all slowly falling into place.
“Actually,” he shifted, popping another hunk of fish into his mouth, “it’s no different from your voice.”
“How?” I asked, a little taken aback.
“When you use your voice, what do you do first?” he asked, even though he knew the answer. I felt as though I was being guided to a solution I couldn’t quite grasp.
“I reach out,” my tone was light.
“Yes, and once you get them to allow you in, you take over. Placing your will above their own.”
“It’s not exactly like that,” I said, although his words were making perfect sense. I simply didn’t want to face the truth.
“Oh, but it is,” he replied, a smirk turning his lips. He was enjoying himself.
I sighed heavily, “All right, I guess you have me.” I put my hands up in surrender. “I am a horrible mermaid in pursuit of domination.” I nearly laughed as the words came out of my mouth.
“Now that’s more like it,” he leaned closer to me, the knife and fish forgotten. For a moment I thought he would kiss me and waited for him to do so, but in an instant he was standing with a hand extended in my direction. “Which of these do you want to jump off of?” He asked as he pulled me to my feet.
Without waiting for my response, he ran toward the large boulder beside the waterfall. He scaled the side of it with a skill I had seen once before, where upon reaching the top, he ran, leapt off the edge, arcing in the air to hurtle toward the water, he hit with a tremendous splash.
I laughed, and when he broke through the surface, he joined me. Shaking the water from his hair, it dried almost instantly. When he yelled for me to join him, I realized this time I could. I didn’t have to hide any secrets from him.
I ran to the rock with an urgency I didn’t know I possessed and climbed up. My toes and fingers scraped against the stone, but I hardly noticed, as the top came closer. Scrambling, I reached the flat surface and paced to the end. It was higher than I thought it would be, I was at least three stories up, and seeing Zale’s upturned face made me smile. He looked so human treading water, waiting for me to join him.
Taking a huge breath, I ran across the top and into the empty air, feeling as though I was flying for a moment before plummeting toward the water. I landed with a smacking splash and felt the wind swoop out of my chest. I had forgotten how hard water could be. Pushing to the surface, I came up laughing and choking.
Zale grinned and the little drops of water near his eyes from my splash seemed to make his eyes shine brighter than I had ever seen them. For the rest of the afternoon we continued to climb up the rock, sometimes jumping together while holding hands.
Once, he even wrapped me up in his arms and lunged off the ledge in a flip. I had screamed when he did that, but the water caught us all the same, even though his back took the brunt of the fall.
It was wonderful to feel so human. The clothes from the cabin were soaked through but I didn’t care. It was delightful to have something remain wet and press against my skin. With the fabric taking forever to dry, I could feel the drops coursing down my body even as I climbed the boulder after another successful plunge into the depths of the pool.
Somehow, now that I was fully a mermaid, I felt more human than I had when I was partially transformed. More than anything, it was this wonderful blessing to remain wet and stay that way. By not having to transform into a mermaid in the water, I was given a piece of my past back and was so thankful for it.
The sky was magnificently changing colors. During one jump, I watched the bright strips of orange disappear above my head as the water rushed closer, and on another, the purest pink splotches dotted the horizon. The sunset turned chartreuse orange once more, the light reflecting off the frothing pool below and I felt as though I were plummeting into the sky itself.
I broke the surface once more and was about to beckon Zale to join me at the top of the boulder when I noticed him looking at the waterfall. I opened my mouth to ask what had captured his attention, but before I could say anything, he moved toward it, his arms moving powerfully through the water.
Thinking he was going to the other side, I moved to follow until he grasped part of the rock on the outskirts of the waterfall. The edge of the roaring curtain poured down against his back and when he started to climb I held my breath. The muscles beneath his scarred flesh trembled as they worked to make it to the top of the slick wall. Once or twice he almost fell, yet he somehow regained his hold, only to push on farther.
He reached the top and I applauded him. He was heaving in large breaths and shook his head like a dog, the spray flinging out to the sides. When he looked back down at me his hair was nearly dry and I had to shelter my eyes with a hand to see him. The top of the waterfall was a story or two higher than the rock I had just jumped off. He was silhouetted against the sky.
Biting my lip, I waited for him to jump and when he did it with such elegance, I found myself laughing as he crashed into the water. Not waiting for him to resurface, I kicked to the side and climbed out, my clothes dripping. I ran to the boulder, ready to scale it once more, and only smiled brighter as I heard him approaching behind me.
>
Hurrying, so he wouldn’t catch up, I reached the top and stood on the edge looking down into the pool below. My hair rippled on the breeze and I could hear him reach the flat part of the rock, but instead of coming to my side, a sharp gasp reached my ears.
Spinning on my foot I stared at him, his face had gone pale and his chest was heaving harder than it had after he climbed the waterfall.
“Zale?” I asked, my eyes wide. Something about his gaze wasn’t right, my heart began to accelerate as my mind started to piece together what was happening.
It was an instant, a mere fraction in space and time, but it changed everything.
There had only been one time in my life where I had felt such overwhelming change in one passing moment; the day I had been thrown overboard from my father’s boat. What came after was life changing, but when the wave hit me, it was the one clear definitive moment I simply knew my life was never going to be the same. The wave had smashed into my body, flipping me over in its clutches and pulling me overboard. Inside, I felt the wave gripping me again and I was at its mercy.
I watched as he struggled to breathe and tears pooled in the bottom of his eyes. He shook his head, never taking his eyes off of me, and I simply knew. His hands trembled and he seemed to be unable to move closer.
I mouthed his name again and he negated it with a shake of his head, once more. And that’s when I saw it.
His eyes—where there had always been a storm hiding—had lightened, and when he nodded, my heart leapt out of my chest.
“Patrick?” I asked, my voice breaking around the name, and one of his tears escaped making a trail down his cheek.
He nodded.
I ran to him with everything I had in me, slamming into his chest with more ferocity than I knew I possessed. He wrapped me up in his arms, crushing me to his body. His chest was heaving as he struggled to regain his breath and I murmured to him, inconsequential little nothings. And still he held me.
I reveled in his embrace, knowing it was what I had given up and still been longing for all this time. He molded to me perfectly, his arms surrounding my body with an embrace which brought more tears to my eyes. Somehow, I felt known, understood.
Torrents (DROPLETS Trilogy Book 3) Page 27