Kroke shrugged.
“Unbelievable. Well, he’s staying so get over it.”
“You’re the boss.”
Jonrell left the mercenary without adding anything else to the conversation. He was too frustrated by everyone’s treatment of Kaz and he knew he’d say something he would regret. What is everyone seeing that I’m missing? He shook his head to clear his thoughts and made his way up the end of the dock. Looking out across the muddy waters of the bay and into the starry night, he tried to relax and enjoy the breeze, but it was no use. The sound of activity behind him still echoed in his ears as preparations continued. They would set sail with the rising sun.
Plenty of time to rest once we’re out to sea, though I doubt I’ll be able to relax any.
Chapter 16
“When will you be back?” asked Elyse, tears streaming down her face.
“When Father isn’t around anymore,” said Jonrell in a voice cold and hard.
“You mean when he’s dead?”
“Yes.”
“How can you say that? How can you be so cruel?”
Her brother threw up his hands. “Cruel? It’s the truth. I’ve been away studying with Amcaro for over a month and what does Father do when I return? Does he welcome me with open arms? Does he ask what I’ve learned? Does he tell me that he misses me? No, of course not,” said Jonrell his arms shaking. “He takes the first opportunity he can to belittle me, to embarrass me…”
“Maybe he was having a bad day,” said Elyse, trying to find some excuse for the king’s behavior.
“Having a bad day? He struck me! For nothing!” He threw up his hands. “Every day has been a bad day for him since Aurnon died. It eats him up inside knowing that I’m in line to take the throne and not his first born. I know he blames me for Aurnon’s death.” Jonrell’s voice trailed off. “And maybe he’s right.”
“Don’t say that. You were only five.”
Jonrell shook his head. “Don’t try. You weren’t even born yet. And you’re only nine now.”
“So. I know the story just the same.”
“Then why are you defending Father?”
“I’m not. I promise I’m not,” sobbed Elyse. “I just don’t want you to leave me.”
Her brother went down to one knee and hugged Elyse. “I don’t want to leave either, but it’s for the best. I know you don’t understand now but one day you will.”
“But what happens if Father gets mad at me too?” asked Elyse, pulling away to look Jonrell in the face.
Her brother smiled. “He won’t.”
Elyse hung her head and sniffled. She felt a hand under her chin pushing her head up. Jonrell reached back and pulled a necklace from his neck and put it around hers. She looked down and admired the jewel. “You’re giving this to me? But you love this necklace.”
Jonrell smiled again and Elyse saw a tear fall from his eye. “It does mean a lot to me, but not as much as you do, little sister. I want you to promise me you’ll never take this off.”
“I won’t.”
“Good. As long as you have this on, you’ll always know that no matter where I am, I’ll be with you and I’ll come back home.” Jonrell turned his head to the side, wiping his cheek.
Elyse reached up and wrapped her arms around Jonrell’s neck and squeezed as tight as she could, hoping that if she squeezed hard enough he wouldn’t leave. “Please,” she whispered.
Jonrell slowly undid her arms and pulled away. “This is something I have to do.” He kissed her on the forehead and turned away. He left her room without sparing a glance back.
The little girl stood there alone, grasping the necklace around her neck, trembling in sorrow.
* * *
Elyse was on her knees, sobbing just as she did as a girl of nine. As the years rolled by, she hadn’t realized how hard she had worked to put the pain and hurt of those memories away. But with the reports that came in this morning, all those feelings of abandonment flooded back from the far reaches of her mind.
It took everything she had to keep her emotions under control during the council after hearing the news. Within moments of the meeting coming to a close, Willum and Hadan whisked her away, where she retreated to the only place she felt true solace could be achieved. Yet, even in the great cathedral, in the presence of the One Above, she felt little relief.
I’ve been away too long. Since becoming queen, I’ve spent my time in meetings or in books. I’ve rarely prayed with the fervor I once did. Is it any wonder that being here fails to bring me the peace I desire? He has forgotten me just as I have forgotten him. She put her hands over her face as her tears came on again. Maybe if I pray hard enough, he’ll forgive me.
A slight touch on Elyse’s shoulder and a soft voice made her jump. “Child, what troubles you?”
She looked up and saw High Priest Burgeone looking down at her. His face was full of concern and Elyse wiped away the tears, sniffing as she composed herself. “I’m so sorry, Your Grace. I had thought I was alone.”
The High Priest smiled and inclined his head to the statue above the altar. The One Above was depicted there, embracing children who swarmed in from all sides, each vying for his attention. A smile was carved into his face and warmth resonated from his marble eyes as he looked upon the boys and girls. That image had always given Elyse comfort when she was a child, though now the effect was lost.
“You can never be alone here, child. Not so long as our creator is watching over us.”
Elyse smiled back but otherwise stayed quiet. She was unsure what to say with her faith so shaken.
The High Priest gestured toward the pew and Elyse made room for him to join her on the kneeler, honored by the gesture. His bones creaked as he took up position next to her. He let out a small sigh once settled. “Each day, it gets harder to do that,” he said with a grin to cover his grimace.
“If it’s more comfortable for you, we can sit.” said Elyse, making a move to do so.
Burgeone touched her arm. “No child, this is fine. Suffering for a few minutes each day is nothing when one thinks of all the One Above has done for us.”
Elyse nodded.
After a moment the High Priest cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen you here since your father’s funeral.”
The queen bowed her head in guilt. “I had just reached the same realization, Your Grace.”
“And is that why you were crying?”
“Yes. Well, no. I mean, not exactly. Other circumstances brought me here, I’m ashamed to say.”
“The burden of ruling a kingdom.”
“Is it that obvious?” asked Elyse in a tired voice.
“If you know what to look for, it is. I’ve felt the pressure that comes with a position of power. Having so many rely on your decisions can seem quite daunting at times.”
Elyse bowed her head again. “I was so caught up in my own worries that I didn’t notice my own lapse in faith.”
“I see.”
“You must be disappointed in me.” She let out a slow breath. “I know the One Above is.”
The High Priest looked startled. “What would make you say such a thing?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t feel as close to him as I once did.”
“Then you must mend your relationship with him.” The High Priest gestured to the statue again. “He embraces anyone who does his will just as he embraces those children. But we must choose for ourselves to allow him to love us.” He paused and his voice softened. “Child, I have been in your situation before.”
Elyse looked up, surprised. “You have?”
“I am human, after all,” Burgeone said with a small chuckle. “The weight of my office can grow heavy. Overseeing all the churches in Cadonia is not an easy task and sometimes the administrative duties have a tendency to get in the way of spreading the truth, even if they are a necessary part of the job.”
The queen had never thought someone as pious as the High Priest could struggle through
the same problems as her. “How do you set yourself back on the right track then?”
“It’s amazing,” he said, a sense of wonder in his voice, “but oftentimes I think that the One Above does it for me,” added the High Priest, a far off look in his eyes as if in deep thought.
“What do you mean? You just said that we must choose to follow him ourselves.”
Burgeone blinked. “Yes, we do. However, he is the one who provides us with the opportunities to make those decisions. A sunny day, a hearty meal, why even a chance meeting with an old friend can all be a reminder to us on what is important in our lives. For the One Above provides all.” He smiled, tapping her hand.
Elyse looked down at his hand, confused. A chance meeting? “Are you talking about now?”
Burgeone smiled again, his nose crinkling in turn. “Yes. I hadn’t even realized it until just now when I thought about my own relationship with our creator and how I too have slipped in my faith. Though to be honest, it isn’t the first time that you’ve inspired me.”
Elyse couldn’t believe her ears. How could I inspire anyone when it seems all I do is cause trouble? “Really?”
“I seem to remember a time some years ago when I found a little girl crying behind the altar, hiding from the rest of the world and feeling abandoned after an older brother had run away. I never told anyone this but I considered leaving the faith altogether that day.”
I was just thinking of that same day. Elyse looked up to the statue of the One Above. “I remember that day, too. You spent hours talking to me about the One Above and his fight against the One Below. That was the moment I dedicated myself to the faith.” She paused, realizing the implication to Burgeone’s words, she added. “Were you lying to me that day?”
“Not lying. You see, as I spoke the same speech I had told hundreds of times, something happened. The look in your eyes renewed my own passion and I realized that you were sent to me not only so I could help you, but so you could in turn help me. Again, the One Above provides us with the opportunities, but it is our job to take notice.”
“…and the opportunity has changed little after all these years,” she whispered, thinking of her brother.
“What do you mean child?”
She let out a sigh. “We received word today that someone resembling my brother and using his name was spotted on Slum Isle.”
The High Priest grunted, his eyebrows bunching as if in thought. “Haven’t those reports surfaced before?”
Elyse nodded. “Yes. But there is something different this time. The message continued by saying that the man was in a hurry to return to Cadonia. He could arrive almost any day now if the reports are to be believed, and we have no reason not to trust the information.”
“Well, then that’s wonderful news if it’s true!” He paused. “Isn’t it?”
“It should be, I suppose. For years all I wished for was his return. But since becoming queen, I had finally begun to move on. I assumed I would never see him again. The thought of coming face to face with him now is bringing up all sorts of emotions.” She paused, shaking her head. “And that’s only part of it. The council started to get out of hand this morning when the reports were read. I think many are hoping the news is true, simply because they would rather see Jonrell on the throne than me.”
“But by leaving Cadonia, your brother denounced his birthright.”
“As queen I can reinstate it.”
The cathedral fell silent as the two stared forward, looking in the direction of the One Above. “Which could cause its own set of problems.”
Elyse shrugged. “Or perhaps resolve the ones that are present.”
“Perhaps.”
“You don’t sound convinced?”
“I do not mean to sound so indecisive, but in truth, those decisions are not for me to make. And although I hear a few things here and there, I’m sure there are others who can provide you with better advice.” The High Priest spread his hands out toward the wide open cathedral. “I’m afraid the most help I can be to you is here,” he said in a solemn tone.
Now I know why the One Above chose him to come to me. Elyse reached out a comforting hand and placed it on the High Priest’s arm. “That is nothing to apologize for, Your Grace. In fact, that may be the help I need most of all.”
Burgeone smiled. “Thank you, child.”
“Do you have anywhere you need to be at the moment?”
“No. I don’t believe I do. Is there something I can do for you?”
Elyse’s eyes welled up again, catching her off her guard. Quickly, she wiped her cheeks. “I have some free time myself and I was wondering if you would stay with me a while longer so that we might pray together, like when I was a girl.”
The High Priest nodded and turned his head back to the altar. Bowing his head, he began to recite the prayers he first taught Elyse. After taking a moment to compose herself, she joined in, chanting melodically to Burgeone’s praises. As she focused on the One Above, the stress, the hurt and the pain slowly faded away.
* * *
Dabbing her brow, Elyse walked through the armory and past the forges. The old blacksmith labored away just as he had weeks ago during her first visit. The same young boy from before was now accompanied by several new apprentices, each scurrying about at the slightest command. Eleven other smiths hammered away at mail, sword, and shield, each with their own set of aspiring helpers.
Activity to her other side mirrored their industry as a gang of fletchers churned out arrows and quarrels, others crafting or repairing bows and crossbows.
So intent on their tasks, none noticed the queen enter the armory.
Perhaps they have become accustomed to my presence and see no need to show me special treatment? Some of the nobles she knew would take that as a slight, but Elyse welcomed the anonymity after being pulled and prodded by others.
Making her way through the armory, she looked over its stores. For every row of polished and repaired mail, there seemed to be another ten rows rusted and untouched. For every barrel filled with arrows, a dozen more stood empty. Elyse could not deny the improvements Grayer had made, but she still felt sick to her stomach.
How can we ever stand a chance with so much work to do? Rather than dwelling on her thoughts as she would have just days ago, she remembered the calmness she had gained in the cathedral. Taking a deep breath, she recited a short prayer to herself, asking the One Above for strength.
General Grayer, as usual, sat in the back. Leaning over a stack of papers that seemed to grow larger with each visit, he reached for his plate of pastries, shoving one into his mouth whole.
Elyse noticed how the mountain of sweets had grown to absurd proportions. I guess we must all find ways to handle the pressures of our jobs.
The general wiped the sweat glistening off his forehead with the same hand, unaware of the sticky residue he left behind. She suppressed a laugh. It was obvious Grayer suffered from the heat, but since Elyse had caught him off guard, he had been more cognizant of his appearance and wore his best armor when he knew she would drop by. She appreciated the gesture but thought the decision impractical.
Elyse’s footsteps were drowned out by the rhythms from behind. She was not surprised when Grayer jumped in his seat as she cleared her throat. He rose quickly from his chair and bowed low. “Your Majesty, I apologize for my rudeness.”
“Please, General. Must we go through this every day?” Elyse said. Grayer waited for her to seat herself before retaking his own.
“I appreciate you being so forthright with me, Your Majesty. But I am a military man, and have been my whole life. I cannot help but treat you in the manner you deserve.”
Elyse shook her head. “So be it. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here to see you in several days. It’s good to see so much activity. How are things?”
“Better, Your Majesty. Though we are still far behind.” He gestured toward the weapon stores. “The amount of work is quite daunting and we were only able
to fill out the positions a few days ago.”
“Why is that?”
“Truth be told, I think people are scared and want to make sure they don’t get caught on the wrong side, Your Majesty. Many are simply cautious and looking out for themselves.”
No one has confidence in me then. “Then what has changed?”
Grayer shrugged. “People’s worries seem to go away when you give them more money. I hate to see how much it will cost to run a second shift.”
“A second shift? Is that how things were once run?”
“No. But if there were enough hours in a day, I’d even go so far as to hire enough for a third shift. But alas, the One Above saw fit to only provide twenty-four hours in a day,” he said, throwing his hands up.
Elyse shook her head. I understand his frustration but I mustn’t let him shake my faith again; not so soon after rediscovering it. She changed subjects. “Are the number of recruits improving?”
The general grunted. “That is a double edged sword.”
Elyse inclined her head. “I’m not sure I follow you.”
“I apologize. What I mean is that we desperately need soldiers but it seems the only ones eager to join are too young to know any better, or are so poor that they’d take a free meal and roof over their head from just about anyone. Regardless, neither group can afford their own armor, nor do we have enough ready to arm them ourselves.” He shook his head. “And training them is a completely different story.”
“The state of the armory is hindering your training as well?”
“Not completely, Your Majesty. We can train with wooden swords and shields. The bigger problem is a lack of competent officers to oversee the training. I’m worried these recruits are starting off on the wrong foot,’ said Grayer reaching for a pastry before remembering Elyse was there and returning his hand to his lap.
I sent away his best men to Conroy. And I haven’t heard a word from the Duke or from the forces I sent to him. The queen jumped in her seat as a side door burst open, slamming against the wall. A young boy came running through the door in tattered clothes, a letter in his hand. “Sir! I have an urgent message for you.”
Rise and Fall (Book 1) Page 30