Instinctively, I stepped forward away from his touch. Ever since I had heard my diagnosis, I was afraid people would be able to see or feel the lump. I had acquired an arm’s length personal distance and a new set of padded bras since.
“No,” I said, looking into his eyes. “This is fine. I like trying new things.”
He seemed a tad hurt but it soon faded into a softened glow.
“Table for two it is, then,” Nate said to the host, and we were led to our table on the rooftop.
The host proceeded to light the candle in the center of the table while I peered out at the view of the city. Light music played as background noise from a quartet. My eyes met the dance platform and quickly shot Nate a glare.
“Really?” I said as he chuckled. “You think it’s that easy to crack me?”
“Don’t assume, Molly,” Nate said as the host uncorked the bottle of wine Nate had pre-ordered before our arrival. “It makes an ass out of you and me.”
“You’re so clever,” I said.
The host handed me the menu and after one glance, I set it down and blew out a sigh.
“Yes?” Nate said, scrutinizing his menu.
“I don’t understand what any of this means,” I said, feeling ever more inadequate with each new obstacle this restaurant threw my way. “You are going to have to order for me.”
“Have you never been out of the country?” Nate said, his eyes peering over the top of his menu at me.
“In fact, I have,” I said. “I’ve been on world tours.”
At that, Nate laid his menu down and looked at me as his hands folded at the edge of the table.
“Now this is something I have been waiting a week to hear about,” Nate said.
My shoulders shrugged and I watched his eyes trail the mesh bust of my dress.
“I’m not really the bragging type,” I said.
“I don’t recall asking you to,” Nate said. His eyes slid up my neck and lips to meet mine, and I saw his pupils dilate as they fixated on their new home.
“I-” I began before being cut off by our waiter.
“Can I get you started with any appetizers, Mr. Evans?” the waiter said.
Nate proceeded to order things whose names sounded like deeds out of the music video Lady Marmalade. When the waiter turned to leave, Nate’s hand gestured to me to continue where we had left off.
“I, um… I am a backup dancer for bands, mainly one but,” I said before I got distracted by the character splayed across his face. A freckle blotted the middle of his right cheek while two splashed across the left side of his neck. “I also teach dance here and there. I graduated from Julliard, so I have kept up with my connections there.”
“Wow,” Nate said. I shrugged to keep modesty an option. “I can see that you are in love with dance.”
“Love is a strong word,” I said, choking a little at the sound of its syllables. “I enjoy it.”
“No,” Nate said, leaning into the table confidently. “You are enamored by it.”
I leaned back as far as my chair would let me and turned my head away from him.
“And what do you think gives you to the right to assume what I do and don’t enjoy?” I said, still not looking him in the eye.
“Point taken,” Nate said. A light laugh curled his lips. “You know, I have been searching for a girl who is not afraid to bust my chops. I think I’ve finally found one.” He picked up his wine glass and lifted it into the air. “To having no filter.”
My eyes traveled the miles. I sat forward to lift my own glass.
“Easy enough,” I said and clinked glasses. The wine played with my tongue the same way I wished Nate would.
A waiter set down two fresh plates of seafood appetizers and served each of us a piece before exiting.
While I was skeptical with how it looked, it won me over as soon as it met my mouth.
“Caviar,” I said, filling the silence.
“Indeed,” Nate said, polishing off his remaining portion. “So, you graduated from Julliard and dance as a backup dancer on world tours. I fail to believe you are only one-dimensional.”
I expressed my amusement while I finished eating.
“By the looks of this restaurant,” I said. “It’s hard for me to believe you are but one.”
“You’re judging me already, Molly?” Nate said.
“You are putting words in my mouth,” I shot back. “And really delicious food.”
He chuckled. “Now remember, you are paying for this.”
“That’s right. What did you do, pre-pay the waiter the difference?”
“Everyone has their secrets.” The smile faded on my face as the dark thoughts surfaced for the second time tonight. I turned my head away once more to compose myself and was happy when I saw my dinner plate being served.
Before the waiter refilled my glass, I took a gulp of wine when Nate wasn’t looking.
“I, uh, I love to cook,” I said. “Did I tell you that?”
I know I had, but I was starting to feel bad that this conversation was becoming all about me.
“You did mention that the night by your car,” Nate said. “I bet that’s why you’re judging me right now.”
“No, no,” I said, playing with my curls before throwing my hands under the table. I mentally scolded myself for my bad manners. “I’m not judging you.”
“Well, that’s good to know,” Nate said shortly, not looking up from his plate. This made my hands fly back up to my hair.
“Did I say something that offended you?” I said. I can’t believe I allowed guys to make me feel this vulnerable.
“No, not at all,” Nate said. He set his utensils down. “No, I… sorry. Sometimes I get so caught up in my love for eating that I lose track of where I am. I’ve been on this protein diet for the past three months that consists of boiled chicken and brown rice for every meal. I can’t tell you when the last time I ate real food was.”
I smiled with glee, still playing with my hair.
“Maybe I will get to cook for you some time,” I said. It was at this point that I realized the wine was kicking in. “I mean, because sometimes I host venues.”
“Oh,” Nate said. “You are like the Molly of All Trades.”
He perused my neck line once more before piercing into the windows to my heart. Again, the majority of me wanted him to stop, but the inebriated snip-it allowed his wandering eyes to continue their journey.
“You know what?” Nate said, sitting back in his chair for the first time tonight. It was then that I realized I was sitting with my legs crossed, leaning to one side like a goddess. “I want to dance.”
My eyes scanned every one of his muscles as they lifted his mass from the chair and scooted mine out. I rose an inch from his bowed face and gingerly stepped away so that he could scoot in my chair.
“I don’t think you know how to dance,” I said. “Am I going to have to lead?”
The corners of his mouth turned upward as his hand guided the small of my back to the dance floor. I watched as the waiters covered our food in warm plates and capped off our glasses once more. As he took my hand in his and pulled me gently closer, we side-stepped in unison to the beat.
“Oh, we have a natural,” I said. Despite being a foot and a half taller than me, our lips were so close I could feel his hot breath hit mine in waves through his parted mouth.
“I think you still take the cake on that one,” Nate said, before I led him into a swing that swept the edge of the dance platform. His muscles tensed beneath my hands.
“I won’t let you fall,” I said.
“And nor will I,” Nate said.
Two hours and another bottle of wine later, I was led up the sidewalk to my Manhattan abode. I turned around while I fished for my keys and saw Nate leaning against the railing one step down from where I stood.
“Um,” I said, awkwardly.
“You don’t have to invite me in, Molly,” Nate said, caressing the length of my arm as
I handed him his suit jacket.
“Good,” I said. “I mean, because I’m not that kind of girl.”
“I’ve met too many of those types of girls,” Nate said before taking my hands in his. “I had a good time tonight.”
“Me too,” I whispered as his lips grazed mine. I felt the tingling shoot to my loins as they made contact. I became lost in the moment and let words slip out of my mouth unfiltered. “It’s the wine.”
“What?” Nate said with a smirk.
“Nothing,” I said pulling away in embarrassment.
“I agree,” Nate said. He was doing everything in his power not to bust out laughing. “It makes you soft.”
“Mmm,” I said. I knew I had an inappropriate smile painted on my face but, as hard as I tried, I couldn’t wipe it away.
“Goodnight, Molly,” Nate said.
“Goodnight, Nate,” I said.
I turned in for the night without looking back. Self-control reactivated.
Chapter 5
My phone chirped a tri-tone in the middle of my class’s routine, making everyone fall offbeat at the rarity. I hadn’t told anyone about my date five days ago, partially because I had wanted to forget about it as well.
As I watched everyone slow around me and stare at my phone across the room, I curbed my routine and tried to conceal my panting.
“Great-great work guys,” I said, holding my chest. “Mellissa, great form. I told you, it does wonders for your posture. You are already starting to hold your head up higher.”
Another tri-tone sounded from the corner of the room and, after letting out a sigh which in part was to help steady my breath, I turned to my class and curtsied.
“You are free to go,” I said, still out of breath.
“Miss-” Mellissa said.
“Please, call me Molly,” I said, toweling off.
“Are you going to get that?” Mellissa said. I wasn’t a fool. I knew my text messages weren’t the reason she was lingering.
“Yeah,” I said, trying to make my response sound natural. “I was just going to dry off first. Get going – you are going to be late to your next class.”
She gave me a wry smile before turning on her heel and bouncing towards the double doors. Moments later, I was left to stand in an empty dance studio swallowing my pride. I knew this day would come.
Picking up my phone, I read the two messages in my inbox.
Hey, I haven’t heard from you in five days. I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and tell myself you were busy.
I looked away from my phone and took a deep breath. According to the dating rules I played by, I wasn’t the one who was supposed to continuously pursue my interest. Furthermore, I was still dead set on not starting a relationship with anyone right now.
I scrolled down to the subsequent message.
Anyways, dessert tonight at 9? I’m back on the East Coast.
I couldn’t tell if the reason it sounded condescending was because it was a text message or because of its phrasing. I admit I was a little embarrassed by how much I had drank and the way I had carried myself the night of the date. I had chosen the wrong way to bury my sorrows and, up until just now, I was sure I had scared him off.
Wasn’t it just my luck that he was still chasing me?
I already made plans for this weekend, I typed.
My thumb hit send and I heard my phone confirm that the message had left the draft box. I set it down on the table to get dressed for the subway ride home only to have it buzz two seconds later.
Don’t think you are getting off that easily.
My eyebrow rose as if to challenge him before tossing my phone my in bag and commuting back to my apartment.
Chapter 6
“So, Moo-Moo,” Adam said, wiping the remnants of his meal from his mouth before flashing me his immaculate smile. “How goes everything?”
He was the lead singer of the band I had toured with across the world. We shared a past more or less and, whether I liked it or not, Moo-Moo was the nickname he had given me years prior.
“I’m doing just fine,” I said, lying through my teeth. “Been dancing, bartending… you know.”
“Huh,” Adam said. “So, are those the only reasons you turned down performing in our world tour?”
I let out a shaky laugh before nodding.
“I see,” Adam said. He fed me another bite of our dutch apple treat. “You make a horrible liar, Molly.”
“And you make a horrible effort at being humble,” I said.
His lips stretched over all thirty-two of his teeth at my comment. He was scrawny with character scattered across his body. I had found my favorite pockets under his clothes years prior, and the thought of seeing them again tonight took my insides to new heights.
I looked up to return Adam’s smile but found my eyes focusing on a face in my peripheral vision just past Adam’s pierced earlobe.
My fork fell from my mouth as I noticed it was Nate, who had snapped his head back to the woman sitting across from him as soon as our eyes locked. She had gorgeous flowing blonde locks with complementary silver shadow tinting her fluttering eyelids. Her crossed slender legs had a brilliant sheen in the mood lighting under their table.
A pit formed in my stomach as I realized these are some of the features I would lose on my body in a few months when I underwent chemotherapy.
I turned my head away as tears clawed at the edges of my eyelids, begging to be released.
“You OK, babe?” Adam said. His hand grazed the top of my arm ever so gently. Nate’s neck snap back to our table at Adam’s show of affection and I wanted to sink into the floor.
“Yeah, I just....” I started but I couldn’t bring myself to suggest what I wanted – to leave.
Adam’s napkin fell to the top of the white tablecloth as he laid money on the table.
“Come on,” Adam said, offering me his hand. “Let’s get out of here. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
He guided me out of the restaurant with his patented protective stance. We made it outside and I watched his figure pace as he called for his personal driving service. My phone buzz and I regretted reading its message.
He’s dangerous.
The anger bubbled up inside of me. After the past month of everything out of my control dictating my future, it sickened me to hear someone else try to tell me what to do.
Tears streamed down my face as Adam returned to my post. His hands cradled my face in their palms and he looked into my eyes.
“Adam,” I whispered through soft sobs. “I have breast cancer.”
Adam drew back as his driver pulled up to the curb. The door was opened for us to get in moments later and breaking eye contact with him was one of the hardest things I had ever done.
As soon as the car door shut, Adam slammed the divider between the driver and pulled me into the tightest embrace.
Chapter 7
I woke up the next morning on the other side of my bed. My fingers combed my hair back as I sat up to look at the clock. A note of scratchy scrawl covered the time.
I smile stretched my lips.
My flight back to LA changed times on me, but don’t think I’m done kissing away the ‘imperfections.’
~Adam
My breasts tingled at the thought of his lips hiking their mountainous terrain again. He had called them his Hollywood Hills which had produced the first giggle since the restaurant. While it was probably a bad decision to let him stay over, a warm body next to me was exactly what I had needed and I wasn’t ashamed.
Throwing on my silky Japanese themed bathrobe, I tiptoed barefoot into the kitchen before breaking out in dance. The sound of the doorbell halted my routine in its tracks, and after a moment’s pause I walked over and pressed the button to speak.
“Yes?” I said, almost certain it was someone who had pressed the wrong apartment button.
“Uh, hi,” the shaky voice called back, and my heart dropped as soon as I recognized it. “I
brought breakfast.”
I peered out my window to the front door of the complex. On the porch, I saw Nate’s broad figure dressed in a brown leather jacket and dark jeans slouched over the intercom system.
I debated for a moment more as the curtains swung back into place and then buzzed him in.
My hand cradled my head as I listened to each one of his heavy footsteps make their way to my front door. Wrapping my bathrobe tighter around my naked body, I opened the door to Nate.
His eyes met my tangled hair and I was sure he could smell the sexed aroma in my apartment. My hands reached to fix my matted locks out of nervousness. Instead of combing, they pulled out more strands than usual.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Nate said, slowly turning back to the door.
I jolted upright and, after swiftly throwing my free strands in the kitchen trashcan and painting on a cover-up smile, I looked to him.
“No, it’s quite alright,” I said. “I was awake already. I’m just slow to rise. Let me go change. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”
I pranced out of the room to my closet where I pulled on a cotton dress and a few swipes of deodorant.
“Why do I find that hard to believe?” Nate called. I could hear that he found the plates and silverware with ease. “Do you always lie to make others feel better?”
I eased into the kitchen ringing my hands in nervousness. Never had anyone called me out on that before.
“You could call it one of my bad habits,” I said with a frown. I took my seat and watched as he served me a tall coffee and two different halves of gourmet breakfast sandwiches. “Thank you.”
I saw the color rise to his cheeks as he opened the top of my coffee.
“I didn’t know how you liked your coffee,” Nate said, ignoring my comment. “So I kept it black so that you could teach me.”
I stared at him in silence watching him fidget with his own plate. I had never seen him act like this. He acted as though he was more vulnerable than I was in this situation. With each new act of kindness, a new string attached to my heart despite how much I fought it. It was going to be so hard to break his heart.
“I just wanted to make sure you were OK,” Nate said, finally filling the crippling silence.
Manhattan Muse: A Contemporary Romance Page 2