Chapter 15
Glycerine
It had been a long time since Duke had considered getting drunk. Years, in fact. But as he watched the coverage of Lenny flying high at the X Games, he thought about it.
He sighed and clicked off the TV. It wasn’t the fact that she was back, the center of a whirling media frenzy. It wasn’t that she had just made his niece look like a chump. It was that kiss she had shared with the rock star. Duke didn’t realize how much seeing something like that could hurt.
He checked the clock on the wall, it was too early for bed and too late to go back out. He shoved himself into a standing position and made his way to the front door. Maybe a drive in the mountains would help clear his head.
***
Being back on the tour was different for Lenny than it had been a few months ago. She couldn’t run errands anymore because the anonymity was gone. Not only did the press know her name but they kept plastering her face all over everything.
Carl was not pleased. He hadn’t said anything to her but she knew by the look he’d given her when they arrived in London that he was pissed.
“At least I’m not cross-eyed in this one.” Lenny observed the cover of a paper tabloid they were passing around backstage at the venue. They didn't chill on the buses like before because they were rentals for the overseas tour and Carl was afraid they’d trash them. So during their down time they hung out backstage or in the hotel suite.
“I didn’t think the last one was too bad, I mean, besides the face you were making.” Mike joked dryly as Lenny passed him the magazine.
“I’m sorry about that.” Luke wouldn’t stop apologizing. Lenny had told him that she was fine with it, it's not like she'd never been famous before. These were just different circumstances, the same rules applied. The media would hound you and try to find a reason to hate you and then move on when someone prettier or crazier came along.
“Don’t worry so much.” She waved it off. “Really, it’s not that big of a deal. I don't forget important things, like underwear, when I leave the house. I’m pretty boring, they’ll move on eventually.”
“Ten minutes,” Carl stuck his head in the dressing room.
The guys gathered themselves and headed for the stage area. Luke kissed Lenny lightly on the lips before leaving. She planned on waiting until they got situated before making her way through the crowd and joining Greg in the sound booth.
She was getting ready to exit the dressing room when Carl stopped her. She reversed her trajectory as his imposing presence demanded to have a conversation. He shut the door behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest and let out what Lenny could only assume was a snort.
“So how pissed are you?” Lenny asked, her mouth ticking up on the side.
“I told you that under no circumstances were you allowed to sleep with any of them.” His voice was restrained but the veins in his neck were pulsing at his pent up anger. He was more red than Lenny had ever seen him and she had a fleeting thought in regards to his heart health.
“Is that all your mad about?” Lenny asked cautiously.
“That was the deal!” Carl barked.
“Well, then we don’t have a problem.” Lenny said diplomatically, softening her features in an attempt to calm him down.
“What?” Carl snarled with a glare.
“We haven’t slept together.” Lenny stated matter of fact and stuck her hands in her pockets.
“What?” Carl asked again with less roar.
“Carl, I’m not like other girls, you should know that by now.” Lenny said patiently, the same tone she had used on her father many times. “Luke and I are not having sex. We haven’t had sex. And we aren’t planning on having sex. I have kept my word.”
Carl did a combination squint and grimace. He paced back toward the door and then back to Lenny. “But you guys are…together.”
“Yes, Carl. We’re dating. I like him and he likes me. I realize it’s unusual in this day in age for two people to just enjoy one another without getting naked but that’s just how weird we are.”
Carl almost smiled. “How long before…?”
“For crying out loud, Carl!” Lenny exclaimed, “I’m not thinking about that and if I were I wouldn’t discuss it with my boss.”
Carl, satisfied with her answer, moved to leave and he looked over his shoulder. “Good to have you back, by the way.”
Lenny shook her head. That guy.
She resumed her trek to the sound booth hoping she hadn't missed too much. The crowd was on it’s feet as the band played it’s opening song. Lenny slid into the sound booth and Greg gave her a cursory nod. She had missed this. The energy that reverberated between the band and the fans was breath taking.
The guys had warned Lenny that the overseas crowds were different the ones Stateside. They were right. They were even crazier, if that was possible. Not an angry crazy or a dangerous crazy. It was more like their love for the music was completely uninhibited. In a word, it was beautiful.
They hadn’t had time to rehearse before flying into Heathrow and only had a small sound check that afternoon. But they were on. Lenny was continuously blown away by how effortless they made it all seem.
Luke was magnetic on stage. The women literally threw themselves at him. Harrison kept kicking panties off the stage. Sway would sometimes grab a pair and hang them off the neck of his bass, but that only encouraged more throwing of undergarments. Lenny used to be amazed at the shamelessness of the women but now it didn’t even phase her. It also seemed to not phase Luke. He never acknowledged the suggestive antics of his female fans.
Lenny lost herself for a moment in the haze that was Luke Casey. She had never felt for anyone like how she felt for him. He was strong, dependable, sexy and all those things girls dream about in the perfect guy. But there were many other things that Lenny knew about him now that the rest of the world probably never would. Like, he also had this tiny scar behind his left ear that he’d gotten when he was seventeen while he was windsurfing with Harrison in Malibu. And he got too emotionally invested in the contestants on reality shows. And he sang the wrong words to popular songs to make Lenny laugh. He didn’t pretend to have it all figured out, he was constantly striving to make himself a better person.
Somehow, amidst the insanity of being a hugely successful musician, he hadn’t let the fame get to him. He was genuine and humble. In a world full of flakes, Luke Casey was the real deal.
And for some reason that Lenny hadn’t yet deciphered, he wanted to be with her. He didn’t just like spending time with her, he acted like she was a vital part of his every day existence. And she felt the same about him. It was strange, she had never believed that Shane loved her, no matter how many times he said it. But she knew, without question, that Luke loved her. It was in everything he said and did, the way he talked to her, how he touched her, leaving no room for doubt.
Lenny was afraid she had finally done what she said she wouldn't do, she had fallen in love with a rock star. No other explanation made sense for everything that was going on between them. It had become even more apparent to her at Aspen. He so willingly lent his strength to her to help her achieve things she hadn’t done in years. Her heart hurt a little because she knew the tour would be over soon and things would change.
She closed her eyes and tried to silence the scream that wanted to erupt from her lungs every time she thought about the coming end. How could she part with him? How could she say goodbye after they had come so far? The logical, realistic side of Lenny told her that this was always temporary, she should have guarded her heart better. But the romantic, idealistic side of Lenny wanted to hope that Luke would chase her home. They could get married and have fat babies. Maybe they could bring the whole family on tour and Lenny could compete in the off season. That could work, right?
Reasonable Lenny said no. The tour would end and so would their affair. They would go home. Lenny to the mountains where she would begin training again for the
Olympics. And Luke would go home to Boston and record a new album and forget all about her. That was always the plan, Lenny reminded herself. This was supposed to be about finding your way into a new life and moving on. Falling in love was never part of the plan.
The set was over before Lenny realized it and they were almost finished with the encore. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, contemplating the inevitable.
“You okay?” Greg interrupted her thoughts.
“What? Yeah.” Lenny forced a smile and stood up.
She exited the booth, making her way backstage as the band wrapped up their final song. Luke was descending the stairs and he saw her immediately. He scooped her up in a big hug, lifting her off her feet and making her smile. He brought her back to the earth slowly, being sure to kiss her deeply before letting go.
“You wanna get something to eat before going back to the hotel?” Luke grabbed Lenny's hand and they started for the green room.
“Sure, what do you have in mind?” She asked, enjoying the warmth of his hand against hers.
“Let's go on an adventure.” Luke raised his eyebrows at her as he held the door open.
“I like that idea.” She agreed and then laughed at his excited grin. No matter how much time they had left, she was going to enjoy every second of it.
***
The thing with touring overseas is that Luke felt more like he was on vacation than on tour. They didn't have to sleep on the buses, they had fancy suites in hotels every night. The travel was all by private plane so they had more time to explore the cities and countryside. Plus, they still got to play sold out arenas every night. Each band member had a tendency to go a little wild and really enjoy themselves.
Luke loved Europe. He'd split off from the guys and do his own thing, the whole time wishing he had someone he could share it with. Now, he had Lenny, he could share those things with her.
He had taken her to a small pub that he had discovered many years ago on one of their first trips overseas. They ate some of the local cuisine and talked and laughed until way too late, finally making their way back to the top floor of the hotel.
“Stay with me tonight.” He whispered in her ear after he had walked her to her door. He couldn't stand the thought of her staying in her room all alone. She was meant to be near him always. “I don't mean in the same bed, just stay in our suite.” He clarified, cupping her cheek in his hand and resting his forehead against hers.
He could see the debate behind her sapphire eyes and he stepped back, letting his hands trail down her arms and rest at her fingertips. “I'll be a perfect gentleman, you can have my room and I'll take the couch. It would be so much nicer waking up with you there instead of just Sway...I need a buffer with that guy sometimes.”
She smiled shyly, “You make it really hard to follow the rules.”
Luke grinned, “Then it's a yes?” He raised one eyebrow at her.
She sighed in pretend frustration. “Yes. But I have to get my things and I want take a shower tonight before going to bed.”
She retreated to her room and Luke waited in the hallway. He was...giddy. He wasn't sure if he'd ever been giddy before, it was all very new. Everything with Lenny was new. Even after they had returned to his suite and explained to Sway that she'd be staying with them, Sway didn't seem surprised. It's like she just fit. Into every part of his life.
When Lenny emerged from the bathroom she was showered, and dressed in shorts with a sponsor's logo and a t-shirt with a faded Double Blind Study band script on it.
Luke eyed the shirt thoughtfully as she took a seat next to him on the couch.
“That’s an old shirt,” he observed. Lenny didn’t respond so he added. “I thought you said you didn’t know who we were.” Referencing back to the day they met.
Lenny blushed, “I lied. I’ve always been a fan.”
Luke smiled and pulled her into his chest, resting his chin on top of her head. He didn’t care how she had come into his life, just that she was there now. He could sense something was bothering her, it had been just below the surface all night. But he decided to wait for her to bring it up. She was in his arms now, and that meant she was safe.
***
The sun began to peek through the cloudy skyline of the London backdrop and Lenny sipped her coffee from the couch. She had woken early, jet lag was confusing, and ordered room service. Luke woke up when the food came to the door and then headed to the shower right away. Lenny poured herself a cup of coffee and slipped into a melancholy repose.
One more show in London tonight. Two more weeks is all they had left. After last night, the feel of a real date for them, Lenny was falling harder and faster. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. She would never feel like she’d gotten enough kisses. Or smiles. Or embraces. She could and would try to soak up as much of Luke Casey as possible in the next couple of weeks. But then what?
She blinked back the sudden tears that threatened to overtake her. She couldn’t imagine the days ahead without him. She sighed with frustration at herself. She should have never let anyone become such a necessity in her life. Nothing lasts forever. And while Luke Casey was her best friend today, in a month she would just be some girl he used to know. She should end it before the awkward conversation of the logistics came up. That would be horrible. It was bad enough that she knew it wasn’t going to last, it would be worse to have him have to explain it to her like she was just another...groupie. She didn't think her heart could take that kind of a conversation.
“Good coffee,” Sway startled Lenny out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even noticed when he had joined her.
“Yeah, it's good.” Lenny agreed, having a brief thought about making sure someone brought coffee to Carl.
“What were you thinking about? It looked deep.” Sway asked.
“Just…stuff.” Lenny couldn’t come up with anything she really wanted to share. Too many thoughts, not enough words.
“You feeling okay?” Sway's eyebrows pushed together in concern.
“Yeah.” Lenny forced a smile in his direction but didn’t meet his eyes. “Fine, why?”
“Just asking.” Sway wasn't buying it but he dropped it anyway.
“How come you're splitting the suite with Luke instead of it being Mike?” Lenny changed the subject. Sway was never one to be insightful but she didn't need him suspecting her of anything and then telling Luke before she could tell him herself.
“Because Europe still turns Mike into a pussy and Harrison and Blake will be better at watching him than Luke.” Sway twisted his face in annoyance.
“What do you mean 'better than Luke?'” Lenny bristled.
“'Cause Luke's busy with you.” Sway picked around the fruit on the food cart and glanced up to see Lenny's offended expression. “Not that it's a bad thing. We all discussed it, it's the solution we came up with.”
“Why does Mike have to be babysat? That's a little condescending, don't you think?” Lenny said, knowing that that was what Carl had hired her for in the first place but still feeling the need to defend the drummer.
“Look,” Sway tried again, “Mike gets really emotional when we go overseas. He knows it, we know it. He has a lot of triggers here. London is where he met Ilsa.” Sway stopped talking and looked up at Lenny. She nodded, silently confessing that she knew the private details of their quarrel, guilt washing over her again. “He needs us to watch out for him, it's what brothers do.” Sway settled on a large pastry and came back over to the couch. He sat down next to Lenny, his face serious and thoughtful. “And Luke needs to be with you right now.”
Fresh tears started to form in the back of Lenny's vision and she swallowed hard. “What do you mean?” Her voice coming out raspy and thick.
“You guys are good for each other. And no one wants to get in the way of that. It's that simple.”
“How is the sexiest girl in the world?” Luke interrupted Lenny's stunned thoughts as he came into the room and bent low to kiss her on the lips.
“I’m okay, kinda gassy.” Sway replied, making Lenny and Luke laugh. “I think it was that salmon I ate last night. That was salmon, right?” He pretended to be embarrassed. “Oh, you meant Lenny. Never mind.”
“I’m good, how did you sleep?” Lenny looked into the most beautiful blue eyes in the world and her heartbeat quickened. His hair was still wet from his shower and he hadn’t put his shirt on yet. She tried not to stare at the body that she was positive was cut from pure granite by the hand of God. Now stop that! She scolded herself internally. You have got to get a handle on yourself.
“Fantastic.” Luke replied in a low voice as he leaned in for another kiss.
“Hey!” Sway jumped in. “I’m sitting right here.” He shook his head in mock disgust and got up for another cup of coffee.
“Sorry, man.” Luke stared into Lenny’s eyes. “I just can’t get enough of her.”
Uh-oh, here comes the jelly legs. Lenny could feel herself turning into mush, good thing she wasn’t standing or walking, or holding something highly valuable.
“You guys need to just do it and get it over with. The sexual tension around here is unbearable.”
Lenny’s eyes widened at Sway’s words. “Wow, Sway! Inappropriate much?” Sway rolled his eyes.
Luke slipped his t-shirt over his head and pulled Lenny to her feet. He planted another perfect kiss on her lips. He moved his arms around her waist and started kissing her neck.
“Go get dressed, I want to take you around London today before the show.” He murmured in her ear.
Lenny hoped she could walk, she wasn’t so confident in her knees ability to not buckle. She flashed him a smile and then hurried to change her clothes. Two weeks left, she wasn't going to waste it.
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