Tucker looked sad for a moment, like he understood the weight of the situation when he really thought about it. “I guess, but lots of kids have parents who live apart.”
“But she ran off to be with another guy.”
“Just don’t tell him that.”
“Then what do I tell him?” I snapped. “I don’t lie to my son. And he’s so smart that I can’t make up something anyway.”
He pulled his beer closer to him. “Yeah, I see what you mean.”
“I’ve never said anything bad about her because I never want to turn Derek against her…but she’s doing it to herself. I can’t keep covering for her.”
“You really don’t need her anyway. You have Cleo. Come on, Cleo is a better mother than Valerie will ever be.”
I’d made the mistake of assuming the same thing. “But she’s not Derek’s mother.”
“But she will be, someday, right?”
Now that she lived with me, it was difficult to imagine her moving out. We had our daytime routines, our evening routines. Sometimes she made dinner, and sometimes I did. When I needed to work on my laptop, she spent time with Derek. It was nice…really nice. The weekends came and went with us at the cabin or the beach house. We felt like a family. “Yeah…someday.”
He caught on to my change of tone. “What does that mean?”
“What does what mean?”
“You looked weird when you said that.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You never want to get married or something?”
“Didn’t say that.”
“Do you do want to get married?” he pressed.
“At some point.”
He finished his beer then got the attention of the waitress. “I’m gonna give you some advice—”
“You?” I asked incredulously. “Who has no children and no wife?”
He narrowed his eyes and took the beer from the waitress. “It’s because of me that you and Cleo are even together, asshole. If I hadn’t helped you, you’d probably still be just friends or some bullshit.”
I couldn’t deny that.
“When you’re in a serious relationship, the woman is gonna pressure you to commit at some point. If you don’t marry her in a reasonable amount of time, she’ll move on. Some women will settle for never getting married, but Cleo isn’t one of them.”
“I don’t think that applies to us.”
“It does. She’s got a clock on those ovaries.”
I drank my beer and broke eye contact.
“You guys have been together…six months?”
It felt more like a year, like our relationship really started the moment we met. The women I’d picked up meant nothing to me because it was all physical, but my emotional relationship with Cleo started instantly.
“Once you hit eighteen months, she’s going to have that conversation with you. I just don’t want you to get freaked out about commitment and getting remarried and all that—and lose her.”
“I’m not freaked out about commitment.”
“So, you’re open to the idea?” he asked in surprise.
“She’s already told me she wants to get married and have kids.”
“Seriously?” He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “She just blurted that out?”
I remembered the moment pretty clearly, making love at the cabin. “Yeah.”
“And that didn’t bother you?”
“It was uncomfortable at the time, but I grew past it.”
“Wow.” He nodded his head slowly. “Good for you. I just assumed after Valerie you would be totally against marriage.”
“I used to be that way, but Cleo isn’t Valerie. Cleo is…my person.”
He smiled. “That’s kinda romantic.”
I drank my beer, dropping my gaze again.
“You would do the kid thing again?”
I shrugged. “I haven’t really thought about it, honestly. But I know it’s important to her, so I would. Honestly, just trying to figure out how to give Derek what he needs is already a challenge. With Valerie leaving, I’m not even sure how I’m going to do this. So, having another kid anytime in the near future…is pretty much out of the question.” Unless Cleo was willing to step back and be a stay-at-home mother. I guess we could have a nanny take care of both Derek and a new baby, but with that age gap, it didn’t seem to make sense. They would need completely different things.
“What do you mean? You have Cleo.”
“She’s pretty dedicated to her career…”
“So, she wants to have kids but not necessarily sacrifice her career?”
I nodded. “We’re both ambitious people. I love that about her. But…if that’s what she really wants, something has to give. And I can’t stop my work. If I did something else, I’d be open to the idea, but I just can’t step back.”
“No, you absolutely shouldn’t.”
“And it’s a bit sexist to expect her to do it…”
“Not really,” he countered. “If she’s the one wanting kids? Then I don’t think so.”
I shrugged. “Anyway, since Cleo is going to keep working, I have to get a nanny.”
“Hmm…”
“Yeah, I’m not happy about it. But I really have no other option.”
“What about Mom?” he asked.
I shook my head. “It’ll turn into a job for her, and I don’t want that. And I do need someone to look after Derek sometimes if Cleo and I want to get dinner or go to the beach house or something.”
“I guess Valerie’s departure puts you in a bad spot.”
“Yeah. Now I realize I took her for granted in that respect.” She was always available to be with him, stayed home with him all day, dropped him off at school, and picked him up again. Now that I would lose that, I understood just how difficult it was to be a single parent, and it’d just been a week.
“How is it living with Cleo?”
“No complaints.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Come on, give me more than that. Is she driving you up the wall?”
I shook my head.
“Then you like having her there.”
“I love it, actually.” I liked the domestic partnership, sharing our meals together, working quietly side by side at the dining table while Derek slept in his bedroom. I liked going to bed and having her there, having a nighttime ritual of lovemaking before we rolled over and went to sleep. It was so different from my relationship with Valerie that I’d stopped comparing them. Now, I was in a good, healthy relationship with a woman who loved me from the bottom of her heart.
“Then why don’t you ask her to stay?”
“To permanently move in with me?” I asked in surprise.
“Why not? If she moves in to an apartment and then moves back in with you like a year later, it’s a lot of moving.”
“That seems pretty soon.”
“I mean, if it’s right…”
It was right. It was perfect. I was so hurt by what she’d done, but the second we were back together, I couldn’t slow our process. We accelerated, stuck together like glue, and we were happier now than we were before.
“Just an idea. You’re in your thirties. You don’t need to be with the same woman for five years to know if it’s right. And she clearly is the right woman so…”
It was true. There would never be anyone else. If she moved out, she would have to leave the office every night and walk home, and even if it was just a block, I would worry. And there would be nights I wouldn’t see her because we’d be in our own places. She wouldn’t always be beside me every night. She wouldn’t be there in the morning. It would be back to our separate lives. I hardly ever texted her anymore because there was no point. She was always beside me. “I’ll think about it.”
“Not trying to pressure you. I just know you don’t think about these things, and sometimes you need someone to force you to think about it. Because Cleo is the perfect lady for you, and I don’t wan
t you to ever lose her.”
I had a feeling I never could. “Thanks, Tucker.”
He clinked his beer against mine.
I was in my office when the email popped up on my monitor.
Dr. Hamilton,
We cordially invite you and your team to our Biotech Symposium to present your current research on cellular molecular effects on inflammation, C-reactive proteins, and immunity and its effect on unhealthy replication of carcinogenic cells.
I read through the rest of the email, seeing the location and date, as well as the fact that all travel expenses were included. This symposium was held every year, and I was almost always invited. It wasn’t the best time to leave the country for this, but it was too important to ignore. I’d have to talk to Cleo about it when I got home.
My excitement was momentary because Valerie’s name appeared on my phone.
I let it ring a few times before I answered. “Yes?” I had no patience anymore. I wouldn’t be polite or even tolerant. “I hope you’ve changed your mind about this whole London bullshit.” Selfishly, I wanted her to go. But selflessly, I wanted her to stay. I never wanted Derek to doubt that both his parents loved him.
“I haven’t. That’s why I’m calling…because I’m leaving at the end of the week.”
Was she fucking kidding me? “I can’t believe this.”
“You moved on with Cleo. I need to move on too.”
“Regardless of who I move on with, I’m still a father—and you’re still a mother.”
She was quiet.
I couldn’t believe this bullshit. Now that she couldn’t use Derek against me and there was no chance of getting me back, she was just going to dump him? Was my worst fear really true? “Valerie…come on.”
“I’ve made up my mind. I won’t change it.”
Jesus Christ. “Then how are we going to do this?”
“I’ll call him and stuff.”
And stuff? “Are you going to visit often?”
“We’ll play it by ear.”
“You know, his birthday is right after Christmas. Could you stay until then? Please?” I couldn’t believe I just fucking said please. Like a little bitch. Why did I have to beg her to be there for our son?
“Jake wants to get settled before Christmas.”
“And what does Jake have to do with this?”
“Well, I’m moving in with him.”
“Again. He has nothing to do with you, me, and Derek. I’m asking you to stay. Jake is not part of this equation.”
“I need to sell my place.”
No matter what I said, it wouldn’t change anything. “So, you’re going to miss Christmas and his birthday?”
“I’ll send him a gift.”
I slammed my hand on the desk. “He doesn’t care about gifts, Valerie.”
“Look, if you wanted to keep this family together, you should have worked it out with me.”
“Jesus Christ, I don’t love you! Don’t put that on me. We can still be a family even if we aren’t together anymore. How many times—”
Click.
I threw my phone across the room, made it shatter, and then slammed my hand onto the desk again.
The phone on my desk started to ring.
I already knew who it was. I put the receiver to my ear.
Theresa spoke with a timid voice. “Everything okay?”
No, it wasn’t fucking okay. “Get a hold of Cleo and ask her to bring me a new phone.”
“Alright…anything else?”
“No.” I hung up and fell back into my chair, furious, my vision red, my knuckles throbbing.
The phone rang again.
I picked up. “What?”
“Uh…Dr. Hawthorne is here to see you. Should I let her in?”
I knew exactly why she was there. We should be celebrating right now. But that stupid bitch ruined everything. “Yes. And get me some ice.” I hung up.
Kathleen must have been warned about my sour mood because she wasn’t as perky as she usually was. She approached the desk, studying me like I was a viper about to strike with its fangs. “I just got the email from the symposium. Have you read it?”
“Yes.” I took a deep breath to steady my anger. “It’s very good news.”
Kathleen watched Theresa come around the table and hand me a bag of ice.
I put it on my knuckles.
Theresa also picked up my broken phone and set it on the desk before silently excusing herself.
“Bad day?” Kathleen asked.
“Yeah, a bit.”
“Problems with Cleo?”
“No. My ex-wife.”
“Oh…I see. You want to talk about it?”
“Not really.” Cleo would be there in the next hour, and we’d have an extensive conversation about it.
“Then I’ll come back at a later time…when we can celebrate.” She turned away.
“I apologize for my rudeness,” I said. “This all happened at the same time…”
She turned back to me. “I completely understand. We all have days like that. But I hope we’ll be attending next month.”
I wasn’t sure how I was going to pull it off. Being a single parent was rough. I had new respect for all the people who were parenting solo. “Yes. Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Great.” She smiled and let herself out.
Eight
Cleo
When Theresa called me, I knew exactly what had happened.
Valerie.
I picked up a new phone and then made my way to his building just outside the city. I also picked up his favorite lunch, because a good meal might help him calm down. I entered the building and moved to his office. Theresa didn’t stop me from just letting myself in without warning him.
So, he must have told her I could do whatever I wanted…because I wasn’t just his assistant.
I entered his office and saw him at his desk, looking down at paperwork, his jacket over the back of his chair, his tie gone, and the top button of his white collared shirt undone. His hair was messy because he’d been fisting it anxiously. Even though he was having a terrible day, he looked so fucking hot.
I approached his desk quietly and set everything down.
He was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t notice I was there until the bag hit the top of his desk. His initial expression was full of rage, but once his eyes had a second to adjust to my face, that anger faded quickly. He rose from his chair, came around the desk, and then wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me in for the kind of hug I loved to receive. His powerful arms took up most of my back, and he squeezed me against him, his chin resting on my head. He held me like it was the only thing in the world he needed.
But I was the one who lived for these moments. They made the world stop, made time stand still, made me so deliriously happy. My lips rested against the skin of his exposed chest, thanks to the unfastened button. My arms hooked under his arms, and my palms flattened against his muscular shoulders. “I’m sorry, babe…”
He moved his lips to my forehead and kissed me. “I know you are, baby.” He gave me a final squeeze before he released me.
There was a warm ice pack on his desk, like it’d been on one of his hands earlier because he’d decided to punch something. His broken phone was there, the screen cracked, with chunks of the glass missing. I opened the box to his new phone and got to work. “I brought you lunch…if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks.” Maybe he just did it to be polite, but he opened the bag, took a seat, and started to eat.
I worked on his phone, syncing the device to his old one, so he would have all his emails, photos, and contacts. “Is your hand okay?”
“Yeah,” he answered between bites. “It’s fine.”
I finished getting everything ready before I presented him with the new phone. “Maybe we should put you on the insurance plan.”
He shook his head. “You’re disqualified if you break your phone more than twice in a year, so
…”
It was a bit comical, but I didn’t crack a smile. “So…she’s leaving, then?”
He stopped eating and leaned back in his chair, like he’d immediately lost his appetite. “Yes.”
“Well…” I really didn’t know what to say. It was so devastating, to know that Derek’s mother would leave him like that. He wasn’t even my son, and I had been crippled when Deacon ended things…because I’d lost Derek too.
“The worst part is…she’s leaving at the end of the week.”
“What? What about Christmas?”
He shook his head. “And his birthday is in January.”
I never liked Valerie, but this really made me hate her. “Why?”
“She said Jake wants to move now, and she’s moving in with him.”
“What does that matter?”
He sighed loudly and didn’t answer.
“Jesus…”
He leaned back and dragged his hands down his face. “I just… I don’t know what to say to him.”
I didn’t have any advice to give. There was no good way to handle this.
“And I need to find a nanny…fast.” His eyes shifted to the left, staring at nothing in particular. He was deflated, visibly defeated. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this…be a single parent. I’ve always had Valerie there, and now, I realize she did most of the work.”
“You’ll be fine, Deacon.”
“If I didn’t have to work so much, yes. But I’m torn between my work and my son.”
“You can have both. That’s what the nanny is for.”
“But I’m presenting at a conference in Sweden in January…and I don’t see how I can make that work. Can a nanny watch him for a week? Can I even handle the idea of someone watching my kid for a week?” He leaned forward over his desk, his hands coming together.
“I didn’t know about this conference.”
“I just found out a few hours ago. I’m going with a few colleagues.”
I immediately thought of Dr. Hawthorne but didn’t dare ask. It was the worst time to bring that up, and I shouldn’t bring it up at all. “I can take care of Derek.”
“But I know you have your own commitments—”
The Man Who Has No Sight (Soulless Book 4) Page 10