“Are you okay?”
No. “Yes.”
“I’m going to take another look at the radio. Maybe I can fix it.”
She nodded mutely. In this weather, the Coast Guard wouldn’t come unless they were out in the middle of the ocean. Like Taryn and Brent and Jason. Having a line of communication with the authorities could save their lives, though.
Daniela shuddered, considering the terrible danger the others faced.
Sean brought a multicolored blanket out from the supply closet, wrapping it around her like a hug. The thick wool smelled like sun and sand, as if someone had taken it to the beach on a warm summer afternoon.
“Try not to worry,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head.
She stared up at him, too tense to smile. They had a long day ahead, followed by another endless night.
Sean didn’t have any luck with the radio. There were parts missing and wires all over the place. He thought about crossing some of the loose wires, trying to create a basic SOS signal, but he didn’t know which ones to choose.
He was a scientist, not an electrician.
The phone lines were a different story. If they’d been cut, he could splice the edges together and slap on some electrical tape. If the satellite receiver had been damaged, they were probably SOL.
His other option was to destroy the signal at the lighthouse tower. Elizabeth wasn’t the only one who could trash equipment. Sean could make short work of the automated beacon, rendering it useless in minutes.
Interfering with the signal would create a major stir at Coast Guard Headquarters, and it probably wouldn’t cause any shipwrecks. Most boats were equipped with GPS, making lighthouse technology obsolete.
Smaller vessels needed the beacon, however, especially in an emergency situation, and he didn’t want to put any more lives in danger.
He’d done enough of that.
If Taryn and Jason didn’t make it to San Francisco, he’d never forgive himself. There were a lot of rough patches between here and there, and Brent was seriously injured. Worrying about them made Sean’s blood pressure skyrocket, so he tried to stay positive.
Having a stress-induced heart attack wouldn’t keep Daniela safe.
To his surprise, she’d fallen asleep. For the past two hours, while he’d been fidgeting with the radio and thumbing through repair manuals, she’d been breathing softly, snuggled deep in the wool blanket.
She looked so damned adorable. He wanted to kiss her lush little mouth and slide his hands beneath her cozy blanket.
Because she needed the rest, he didn’t touch her.
After several moments of watching her sleep, and thinking of all the dirty things he’d like to do to her, he put on his jacket, moving quietly toward the door. If he woke her, she’d insist on going outside with him. And he’d only be gone a minute.
He disengaged the lock and rotated the doorknob, very gently…
“What are you doing?”
Damn. Turning to face her, he said, “I was just going to check the phone lines. See if they’ve been cut.”
She straightened, running a hand through her mussed hair. Her eyes were half-lidded from sleep, her mouth curved into a sexy pout. Even when she was mad, she was beautiful. “What if I’d woken up while you were gone?”
He thought fast. “I’d have been back before you had a chance to worry.”
With a groan, she stood, letting the blankets fall away from her. “You’re not going anywhere without me.”
He held up a hand, warding her off. “Dani, this will take sixty seconds, tops. It doesn’t make any sense for us both to go. You’re safer here, and I don’t want to have to search the rooms again.”
After a moment of hesitation, she nodded. “I’ll stand right here at the door.”
“Fine.” He waited while she donned her jacket and grabbed the tagging spear, wielding it like a baton. His was resting beside the door. Instead of picking it up, he reached for her, needing one more thing before he left.
He took her in his arms and kissed her, hard. She made a little sound of surprise and melted against him, parting her soft lips. Taking advantage of the opportunity, he swept his tongue inside, plundering her sweet mouth again and again.
The metal pole slipped from her hands, clanging to the floor.
By the time he lifted his head, she was out of breath, speechless. He rubbed his thumb over her kiss-swollen lips, but he didn’t say anything. In this situation, “I love you” sounded fatalistic.
“Be careful,” she said.
“I will.”
He was good on his word, avoiding blind corners and staying alert. In the pouring rain, it was easy to get snuck up on, so he watched his back, too. Knowing that Dani was waiting for him kept him moving fast. He didn’t want to let her down.
As far as he could tell, the phone lines were intact. If the satellite receiver was broken, there was no easy solution for that.
Cursing, he beat a hasty retreat back to the house.
She shut the door and locked it behind him, shivering from cold. “Can you fix it?”
He took off his wet jacket. “I doubt it. I think it’s the sat ellite. At first light, I’ll go up to the tower and have a look.”
“What about the radio?”
“Parts are missing. And I’m no MacGyver.”
“Is there anything else we can do tonight?”
“I could wreck the lighthouse beacon,” he admitted, “but the Coast Guard probably wouldn’t investigate the incident until the weather improved.”
She nibbled on her lower lip, worried. “So we’ll just have to wait it out?”
Eyes on her mouth, he nodded, thinking of a dozen ways to distract her, all of which were wildly inappropriate for a life-or-death situation. “Cell phone reception is better at the tower, too. When the rain lets up, we can give that a go.”
“Okay,” she said, relaxing her shoulders. “When the rain lets up.”
It was going to be a long night.
“Are you hungry?” he asked, trying to reroute his appetite to food, rather than sex. They’d skipped breakfast, and missed lunch. “I think it’s my turn to cook.”
“We should eat something,” she agreed.
He made grilled cheese sandwiches while she heated up a can of vegetable soup. The meal they prepared wasn’t fancy, but it was hot, and he was hungrier than he thought. He ate his sandwich and half of hers.
The rain continued to come down hard, hammering the roof and gushing from the rain gutters, making the confines of the house seem cozier, more intimate. As she washed the dishes, his eyes were drawn to the nape of her neck, silky-pale in contrast to her dark hair, and the enticing curve of her bottom.
He couldn’t prevent himself from fantasizing about tugging down the back of her pants and pressing his lips to that cute little scar. Tracing it with his tongue.
She turned away from the sink, drying her hands on a towel.
It took him a half a second to drag his gaze up to her face. Her cheeks were flushed. She moistened her lips.
“I think I’ll wash up,” he rasped.
A tiny crease formed between her brows. “Are you going to shave?”
He rubbed a hand over his jaw, encountering about a week’s worth of stubble. Out here, he preferred some protection from the elements. “Do you want me to?”
“No.”
His gaze fell again, lingering on the swells of her breasts, the apex of her thighs. He used to shave every day, just to please her. On certain occasions, however, he’d come home scruffy as hell, and she’d welcomed him that way, too.
Enthusiastically, as he recalled.
“Fine,” he said, clearing his throat. “Come with me, though. I’ll feel better if we stick close together.”
She nodded, following him upstairs. He left the bathroom door open while he leaned over the sink, washing his face. Considering his next step.
He wanted Daniela, but he was afraid of screwing things up again. T
he events that preceded their divorce had been incredibly painful for both of them. One disturbing memory, in particular, kept resurfacing.
The year after the accident, Dani hadn’t interacted with him, or anyone else, on an intimate level. When he tried to talk with her, she avoided his company. She wouldn’t let him touch her. She rarely even made eye contact.
It was like living with a ghost.
He suspected that she wished she’d died with Natalie, and although he’d never voiced this fear, he’d been terrified that she would commit suicide.
Months passed this way, until he couldn’t stand the distance between them. He started pressing her harder, insisting she spend more time with him. He’d badger her into taking a walk on the beach. Instead of going surfing alone, he’d beg her to swim with him in the ocean. He’d do anything to get her out in the sunshine.
One day, they had a breakthrough. He hadn’t planned anything special, just a stroll in the park and a quiet dinner at a romantic restaurant. They saw a lot of babies that afternoon. It was difficult for her, but impossible to avoid. When they got home, he poured her a glass of wine and sat down next to her on the couch, expecting a typical evening.
She’d seemed distracted, not really paying attention to the book she was reading, so he leaned over and kissed her on the lips. To his surprise, she didn’t shy away.
For the first time in over a year, she kissed him back.
He wasn’t sure how it happened, but one moment they were sharing a simple kiss, the next he had his hands all over her. Not touching her for so long had a predictable effect on his self-control. Maybe if he’d been a little less eager, he could have prevented one of the biggest mistakes of his life. But he loved her so much it hurt, and having her in his arms again felt so right. He was desperate to keep her there. In that moment, he’d have promised her anything. Whatever she wanted. Another baby.
He hadn’t realized he’d made the suggestion out loud until she froze, retracting in horror. Right before his eyes, she retreated into herself, becoming distant and inaccessible, her heart locked away inside. All the work he’d done over the past few weeks was erased in one fell swoop. Destroyed with one misspoken sentiment.
The next day, she’d asked for a separation.
He’d panicked, trying to explain his position. He didn’t care about having a baby, but he cared about sex, and he cared about her. “I can’t go on like this,” he’d said, growing desperate. “I love you too much not to touch you.”
She’d covered her face with one hand, shaking her head.
“Don’t you love me anymore?” he asked, his voice a tortured whisper. He’d never felt so vulnerable in his entire life.
“I think you should move out,” was all she said. Breaking his heart. Destroying his ego. And bringing back the most painful memory of his childhood.
While he was growing up, his parents had fought nonstop. His father had always yelled and cursed and complained, and his mom hadn’t exactly been a delicate flower. She’d given it back as good as she got it.
He remembered, very clearly, the day his mother had asked his father to leave the house. His old man hadn’t gone quietly, either. He’d railed against her, calling her a coldhearted bitch in one breath and falling to his knees the next, begging for her to reconsider.
She hadn’t.
Sean refused to exhibit that kind of behavior. He would never be the kind of man who raised his voice to a woman; he’d rather walk away. Groveling wasn’t his style, either. Instead of arguing with Daniela about the separation, or pleading his case, he’d merely promised to see a lawyer and packed his things.
Looking back, he realized that his inability to articulate his true feelings, for fear of appearing weak and pathetic, like his father, had been the nail in the coffin of their relationship. He might not have been able to hold their marriage together without her cooperation, but he could have tried harder. Communicated better. Waited longer.
Sean pushed away from the sink now, running a thin towel over his face. He put on a clean T-shirt and opened the medicine cabinet, rifling through its contents. There was a box of condoms inside, probably left there by Jason. Appreciating his foresight, Sean checked the expiration date to make sure they were still good and pocketed a few.
Closing the cabinet door, he studied his reflection in the mirror, taking a good, hard look at himself. He’d promised to love, honor and protect Dani, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as they lived.
He wanted to follow through on that vow.
After a brief hesitation, he turned his back to the mirror and walked away from the past, making his decision.
Daniela sat at the top of the stairwell, her elbows planted on her knees, waiting for Sean to come out of the bathroom.
When he did, his eyes met hers, and her heart skipped a beat.
His clothes were worn and faded, his jaw scruffy. He looked fantastic clean-shaven, but there was something so appealing about his rugged style and earthy masculinity when he was working in the field.
Even dirty, he was sexy.
He continued down the hall, grabbing both of their sleeping bags out of his room.
Last night he’d smelled delicious, like cold ocean water and hot male skin. As he passed by her, she inhaled through her nostrils, straining for that scent.
“We should sleep downstairs,” he said. “And block the front door.”
She felt a flutter of nerves as she followed him, and not just because she’d rather be in a private bedroom with him than on a couch by the front windows.
They were going to have to talk.
Saying nothing, he moved the bookcase across the room, barricading the only door. The dual-pane windows would be very difficult for an intruder to get through. After a glance outside, he pulled the curtains shut and turned off all the lights except the one in the hall. He probably didn’t want to advertise their presence. She sat down on the couch, hugging her knees to her chest, and he settled in next to her.
Putting his arm around her, he stroked her back while they listened to the rain.
The last time they were alone together like this, she’d been eight months pregnant. She remembered him splaying his hands over her belly and touching his lips to her neck, waiting for the baby to kick.
“Where do you think Elizabeth is?” she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.
“I don’t know. I wish I did.”
“She must be cold.”
Out in the open, she was a likely candidate for hypothermia, and that condition wouldn’t help her think more clearly. If they didn’t get help soon, she could die. Daniela regretted not being able to continue the search.
She murmured a quick prayer, making a sign of the cross.
Sean had never been religious. She too had found little comfort in faith after their daughter’s death, so she couldn’t fault him for it. Now, instead of offering her empty assurances, he gave her his open arms, enveloping her in quiet strength.
She clung to the front of his shirt, blinking the tears from her eyes. Every time she looked at him, she was reminded of the way he’d touched her last night. Her body ached in secret places, hungry for more, and her heart swelled inside her chest, burdened with an impossible longing.
She loved him so much.
And she knew it was too late. She couldn’t ask him for a second try, or another chance. But maybe he would grant her some…closure.
Taking a deep breath, she snuggled closer to him, twining her arms around his neck. Beneath her fingertips, his muscles were tense. She could see the pulse point at the base of his throat, beating strong and fast.
They both wanted this.
In that moment, she didn’t want to analyze her emotions. She didn’t want to talk about broken dreams and lost souls. She didn’t want to consider the possibility that they would leave this place, and never see each other again.
She didn’t want to think—she wanted to feel.
But she knew she
owed him her compete honesty, and her best effort. This was no time to be subtle or halfhearted. The stakes were too high.
“I love you,” she said, her lips against his ear. “I love you, and I want you.”
His entire body went rigid. “You…what?”
“I want you.” She touched her tongue to his throat, tasting salt. “Desperately. I hate the way things ended between us.” His pulse throbbed beneath her parted lips. “I’m not asking you to take me back for good, but I would do anything to make it up to you. I’d give anything for one more night.”
“Just…one night?”
“Yes,” she said, panting against the wet spot her mouth had made.
He thrust his hands in her hair, forcing her to meet his eyes. “No.”
“No?”
“I could never be satisfied by one night,” he said, and kissed her.
Chapter 16
“I love you, too,” Sean said, dragging his mouth from hers. “I never stopped loving you. I will always love you.”
Daniela should have been all cried out, but fresh tears filled her eyes. “You will?”
He kissed her again. “Yes. But one night isn’t enough. I want to have you, over and over again. I want you, every part of you, forever.”
His words sent a thrill of pleasure down her spine. At the same time, she was afraid to pin her hopes on a shared future with him. She didn’t believe in happily ever after anymore. And there was no such thing as forever.
She hesitated. “Sean—”
“Never mind,” he growled, taking her mouth again. “Don’t say anything. Tonight, I don’t want to hear you say anything but yes.”
She climbed over his lap, accepting those terms, and he tightened his fingers in her hair, silencing her with a crushing kiss. With a low moan, she plastered her breasts against his chest and curled her tongue around his, returning his passion, sharing his desire.
Daniela wanted him to tear her clothes off, but when the kiss ended, he let his hands fall away from her. To her intense disappointment. “Tell me if I move too fast,” he said, sounding uncertain. “I don’t want to…push too hard.”
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