by Judith Keim
“You and your mother...”
“Don’t get along. Never did. Never will.” Resentment crept into Tiffany’s voice. “You’d think a grown woman would stop being cruel to her daughter, but it hasn’t happened. Out-and-out jealousy is what my therapist called it.” Tiffany took deep breaths before continuing. “See, my mother won a small beauty contest in the tiny town of Lovell, in western Kansas, back when she was in high school. It was the highlight of her life.” A sad sigh escaped her. “According to my mother, I ruined her life by being born and making her stay in Kansas.”
Sukie’s heart constricted. “Oh, hon, that sounds so sad.”
Tiffany gave Sukie a wobbly smile. “Yeah, well it’s just the way things are between us. Now you understand why I would never go to her. I’d rather die first.”
Sukie couldn’t hide her dismay. “Are you in trouble?”
“Sorta.”
Sukie’s gaze rested momentarily on Tiffany. “Do you want to postpone the shopping?”
Tiffany shook her head. “No way. I figure we can talk about my problem at lunch. After that, I’ll need to do something fun.”
“All right. You’re married to someone named Beau. How long have you kids been married?”
“Almost a year.” Tiffany’s chin quivered. “Our anniversary is next week.” She let out a sigh and stared out the window for a moment before turning back to Sukie.
“So, how’d you get the name Sukie?”
Sukie smiled at the memory of the family story. “My maiden name was Susannah Keane. When I was little, I pronounced it Sue Kee and it stuck.”
Tiffany grinned. “Cute.”
Sukie found a parking place at the mall and they headed inside.
“What do you feel like for lunch? Another Fat Friday?” Sukie asked gaily.
Tiffany gave her a weak smile. “I shouldn’t even do our regular Fat Fridays. I have to watch my weight. From the time I was little, my mother weighed me every day. She said she couldn’t go around with a fat daughter; it would ruin her image even further.”
Sukie felt her eyes widen. “But...”
Tiffany raised her hand. “I know, I know. Pretty screwed up scene.”
Sukie took a deep breath, wondering what she’d gotten herself into. Tiffany was a very insecure young woman from a background layered in rejection.
Inside the Salad Bowl restaurant, lettuce green walls were offset by orange-topped tables and chairs whose cushions were covered in an orange, green and yellow print.
After they were seated and their waitress left with their orders, Sukie turned to Tiffany. “Are you ready to talk now? You have me concerned.”
Tiffany took a deep breath. “Before Beau and I were married, I had to sign a prenup. I was so in love with Beau I never questioned it. Now Beau says he’s given me a whole year to myself, but we have to start a family; it’s part of the agreement. He wants a baby now, and he’s refused to discuss postponing it. See, it’s a big deal in his family. They’re waiting for a Beauregard Wright the fourth.” Her eyes filled. “You’d think they were fuckin’ royalty or something.”
Sukie frowned. “Didn’t you and Beau discuss all this before you signed any agreements? That’s a pretty major thing.”
Tiffany let out a sigh. “We talked about having children, just not so soon. That’s not all. He wants me to look perfect all the time. What is being pregnant going to do to me? To us?”
Sukie looked her straight in the eye, well aware of the physical results of her pregnancies. “I’m not going to lie to you, Tiffany. Having babies can change your body. But is that the only problem?” Sukie knew there had to be more to the story. Tiffany’s hands were shaking.
“Beau has become somebody I don’t know anymore. He’s gone from being willing to defy his parents to doing everything they say. It’s all about money. He told me I have an image to uphold, that his father is about to be appointed a federal judge like his grandfather. The whole family is scheduled to have a photograph taken for a national magazine.” Her eyes welled with tears. “I’m supposed to be perfect all the time. I just don’t think I can keep it up. Beau grabbed me the other day and dragged me inside when I went out to get the newspaper in my robe. It really hurt, him grabbing me like that.”
Sukie felt the blood drain from her face. “My God! Does Beau hit you?”
Wide-eyed, Tiffany shook her head. “No, he never has. It’s just this image thing that seems to make him so mad. It’s all so stupid.”
Trying to understand, Sukie’s mind raced. “Carol Ann mentioned he’s handsome. Is he?”
Tiffany’s features became hard-edged. “All Carol Ann thinks about is what Beau looks like and that he has money. No one seems to understand what living with him is really like.”
“Have you talked to the other women in the Fat Fridays group about it?”
Tiffany shook her head. “I didn’t dare bring it into the office. It would be bad for the Wright image and all that.” Her laugh was sour. “Get it? Wright? Right?”
Sukie nodded, letting Tiffany’s words sink in. It sounded like something out of a soap opera.
“Image has always been important to his family,” Tiffany continued. “Funny, I hadn’t thought of it before, but Beau and I are both from backgrounds where appearance was more important than anything else.”
“That’s too bad,” said Sukie. Appearance had been important to her parents, too, but only as it applied to their image in the church. They’d been furious when they’d learned she was already pregnant with Rob when she and Ted had rushed into marriage.
“You should have seen his mother at the wedding,” said Tiffany, blinking back tears. “She planned it, you know.”
“She did?”
“Oh, yes.” Tiffany wrinkled her nose. “Even though Beau and I wanted something small, our wedding became a highlight of the season in Charleston. Nothing was too good for Muffy’s only child. I was so stressed out I was sick to my stomach for weeks beforehand. And after, when we went to Hawaii for our honeymoon, it took me a few days to begin to enjoy myself.”
“It sounds dreadful.” Sukie would have hated a wedding like that.
“Like I said, it was a big social thing. You know how they handled me? They told everyone I was their little Cinderella and they’d rescued me, which was why I had no family at the wedding.” Tiffany let out a snort of disgust and then wiped her eyes. “It’s true. I’m a frickin’ nobody.”
Sukie straightened in her seat and took hold of Tiffany’s hand. “Oh, honey, no. We’re all somebody. You can’t let anyone else take that away from you.”
Tiffany blinked back tears. “What do you think I should do? What would you tell your daughter?”
Sukie thought of Elizabeth going through something like this and her heart ached for Tiffany. “I’d tell her to go to marriage counseling, that no one should have to put up with that kind of harassment.”
Tiffany’s sigh spoke volumes. “The way I see it, I can’t win. I can’t tell anyone what’s going on because of the image thing, but, Sukie, I don’t want to quit work to have a baby. Not now. Maybe not ever with Beau.”
Sukie set down her fork and gave Tiffany a steady look. “Are you talking about divorce?”
Tiffany shrugged, looking confused. “I don’t know. I don’t like the person Beau becomes when his family is around. And that’s more often than not. His parents gave us our house for a wedding present. Now, they feel they can come visit us anytime they want. I hate that I never know who’s going to be there when I get home from work.”
“Take it from me, divorce is an ugly thing,” Sukie said. “On the other hand, you don’t have children yet, so it would be easier at this stage in your life to do it now, if that’s what you’re determined to do. But, Tiffany, that’s a huge, huge decision. No one can make it for you, and I certainly won’t try.”
Tiffany bit her lip. “Our anniversary is next week. After that, we’re going to try for a baby.” Her eyes welled with tears.
“Whoa! You just told me you didn’t want a baby.” Sukie frowned. “Why are you saying this?”
“Beau is going to throw me out of the house if I don’t cooperate.”
Sukie had gone through enough maneuvering with Ted to be enraged. She slapped the table with the palm of her hand. “That’s blackmail.”
“But what can I do?” Tiffany sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. “I have a big home and a nice car—in his name, of course, but mine to use. And, Sukie, if I were forced to leave, I couldn’t make it on my own. I have huge debts from college, I don’t make all that much at my job and there’s nobody else to fall back on.”
Sukie fought for the right words. “Tiffany, there’s a lot going on that I’m not sure I understand. I want you to think things through before you make any decisions. And if you can, find a therapist. That’s something I’d tell my own kids.”
Tiffany nodded and blew her nose.
“Do you want to cancel our shopping plans?” Sukie asked.
“No!” Lines of distress spread across Tiffany’s forehead. Her eyes filled once more. “I need this time with you, Sukie. Please.”
Sukie nodded. “Okay.” She understood all too well the importance of filling time in difficult situations.
“I knew I could trust you to listen, really listen, to me.” Tiffany’s voice flooded with gratitude. “For once, my instincts were right.”
Sukie gave Tiffany’s hand a squeeze of encouragement and wondered if anything could help Tiffany’s marriage.
###
Tiffany led the way in and out of stores. Sukie soon discovered Tiffany not only had wonderful taste, she had the innate artistic ability to tie together any outfit with the proper accessory to make it seem especially designed for her.
“Not bad,” Tiffany said, as Sukie twirled in front of her in black silky slacks and a pink cashmere sweater, both on sale.
“Does it make me look hot?” Sukie teased.
“Oh, yeah.” Tiffany fanned herself with her hands, and they both laughed.
By the time Sukie had stretched every dollar she could, it was four o’clock in the afternoon and she had several heavy bags full of bargains. She shot Tiffany a grateful smile.
“How about a cup of coffee? My treat.”
Tiffany checked her watch and grimaced. “I can’t. I need to be ready when Beau gets home from work. I promised I’d fix a special meal for him.”
“Okay, we’ll do it another day.”
“You mean it?” Tiffany’s smile brightened her features.
“Of course. It’s been fun. I hadn’t realized how much I needed this. You young women today are really something. Know that?”
Sukie’s own young life had seemed so regulated, so full of expectations compared to the freedom of younger women. But then she realized Tiffany wasn’t free, like Elizabeth; she was caught in a golden trap.
###
Driving into Tiffany’s neighborhood, Sukie took a closer look around and understood how intimidated Tiffany might feel. Her house, so large for such a young couple, seemed menacing now that Sukie realized why Beau’s parents had given it to them. No wonder Tiffany felt threatened by Beau and his family.
Sukie pulled into the driveway and patted Tiffany’s back. “Be sure to call me if you need me.”
Tiffany nodded. “Wish me luck.”
Sukie drove away, weighed down by the thoughts she’d pushed away all afternoon. From a wealthy background, Ted had introduced her to his friends and a lifestyle she’d never experienced. He’d led her to believe anything in life was possible. She’d loved him with all her heart.
It had been difficult telling Ted about her pregnancy. His look of dismay had turned to sharp disappointment, striking at the heart of her. She’d burst out crying, saying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” over and over again, as if it were totally her fault. Ted had put his arms around her. “I suppose we were heading there, anyway. Don’t worry, I’ll marry you.” She shook her head at the memory. It wasn’t a very romantic way to begin a lifetime together. She wondered at her willingness to accept it.
Seeing things in a different light, she thought maybe Lynn Hodges was right. This whole divorce thing might turn out to be something good. If only she could get through all the humiliation, anger, and self-doubt.
CHAPTER SEVEN
SUKIE
Foil covered a good portion of her curls as Sukie sat in Henri’s Hair Designs, deeply embroiled in a gossipy magazine she wouldn’t be caught dead buying. She looked up as Katy Hartmann waltzed into the beauty shop, dressed in workout clothes. Wiggling her fingers to everyone, Katy made her way to the back.
She stopped and studied Sukie. “Why, Sukie, bless your heart, I didn’t expect to see you here. Have you lost weight? You look fabulous.” Katie poked her in the arm and gave her a teasing grin. “Maybe I should get rid of Jim, tell him it’s okay to play around, if that’s what divorce does for a woman.”
Telling herself, it wouldn’t do to choke a customer in Henri’s place of business, Sukie forced herself to remain seated. If she made a scene, Henri might never let her come back. And in the future, she was going to need him a lot.
Unaware of Sukie’s self-control, Katy continued. “By the way, I just came from the gym. Emmy Lou is looking a little ragged around the edges. Guess morning sickness must be getting to her.”
“Wha-a-at!” Sukie’s pulse pumped icy water through her body. Pregnancy had never been part of the equation—or so Ted had led her to believe. Betrayal burned brightly. The ice in Sukie’s veins disappeared in a rush of heat.
“Oh, sorry, thought you knew.” Wide-eyed, Katy covered her mouth with her hand.
Sukie looked away. She’d desperately wanted more babies after Elizabeth but it hadn’t happened. Her doctor finally took her aside and suggested she enjoy the two children she had and stop trying for others. It was ruining her health.
“I really am sorry, Sukie.” Katy’s gave her a pitying look before moving away.
Sukie told herself it didn’t matter, that Ted’s doings weren’t her business anymore, but the news stabbed her heart. She pinched her lips. Why couldn’t Ted and his bimbo have moved out of town where she wouldn’t have to see or hear about them?
As Henri washed, cut and styled her hair, Sukie tried to concentrate her thoughts on her new friends and her new job. After blowing her hair dry, Henri fluffed the streaked curls into a soft halo around the drawn features of her face. He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’re lovely, Sukie. Keep that in mind.”
Grateful for his sensitivity, Sukie smiled at him. Inside, she was weeping.
Leaving the hair salon, Sukie decided to go to the library to check on reading materials for the upcoming computer course.
Julie Garrison, the head librarian, greeted her with a friendly wave. “Aren’t you a ray of sunshine on this cold, wintry day! I love what you’ve done to your hair.”
“Thanks. I’m here to pick up any material you have for the computer courses. I have to find a job. In college, I wanted to get a library science degree, but I got married instead. So, I guess administrative work is for me.”
Julie’s eyes rounded. “But didn’t you attend some library science classes? I seem to remember that.”
“I snuck into some courses, just to listen while my husband finished college. That’s all. Why?”
A smile spread across Julie’s face. “We’ve been looking for a children’s librarian for some time, but the right person hasn’t come along. The teacher we were going to hire decided not to take the job. You’ve been such a good volunteer, would you consider applying as a temporary fill-in?”
“Me?” Sukie’s heart pounded. She’d always dreamed of working with children, introducing them to the joys of reading. Her own children were avid readers because she’d started them reading books at a young age.
“You’d be considered a temporary employee until someone with the proper degree comes along. It
could be a matter of weeks or months. No guarantees on timing, but I’m sure, with my urging, the board would approve your temporary appointment,” Julie’s face lit with enthusiasm. “Are you willing to take a chance on something like this?”
No guarantees? Weeks? Months? Nothing permanent? Sukie hesitated, then, mentally waved away her concern. “Sure. Give me an application.” She’d learned the hard way there were no guarantees in life.
###
On Friday, Sukie drove to the Fat Friday luncheon eager to see everyone. The new clothes Tiffany had helped her purchase, the bright streaks in her hair and the fact that she’d applied for the job at the library combined to erode some of the despair that had undermined her these last few months. Even the news of Emmy Lou’s pregnancy had been put in proper perspective, though there was a part of her that secretly hoped the baby would turn out to be colicky and on the ugly side.
She pulled into the parking lot of Bea’s Kitchen. The low-slung, white clapboard building, a landmark in the area for years, was known for its down-home southern cooking. Their collard greens, butter beans and fried chicken were perfect for a Fat Friday meal.
Sukie entered the restaurant and joined Lynn and Carol Ann at a table covered with a red gingham vinyl cloth. “Where are Betsy and Tiffany?”
“They’re coming along,” Lynn responded. “Betsy’s boss needed her to oversee lunch brought in for a meeting. No big deal. She was right behind us.”
Carol Ann’s eyes widened as she studied Sukie. “What did you do to your hair? I love it! And that sweater! Yummy! Tiffany told me y’all shopped together. You look great!”
Sukie playfully twirled around for them.
Tiffany and Betsy arrived in time to see her do it.
“Teee-rific! Betsy exclaimed, giving Sukie a quick hug.
“Your hair looks really wonderful,” said Tiffany. She pulled up a chair alongside Sukie’s and edged in her designer-jean-clad rear.
Lynn glanced at the menu. “What’s everyone gonna have?”
The aroma of fried chicken wafted around Sukie in tantalizing whiffs. “I’m having the fried chicken breast special. I haven’t had it in ages.”