by Gail Sattler
For the second hymn, he had chosen "Hark! 'Tis the Shepherd's Voice I Hear." He waited for the congregation to find the right page in the hymnals, nodded, and counted four beats to signal Lorraine on the piano, joined her with his guitar, then started the congregation singing. As he looked up between verses, as often happened, Miranda was the only one in the congregation with one hand raised. But this time, he saw something he hadn't seen before. While the congregation sang the words of the chorus, "Bring them in from the fields of sin," tears were streaming down Miranda's face.
He'd never seen anyone cry during worship before. Of course, until today, he'd only watched the men's side, since it wasn't proper for him to look at the women.
During the next repeat of the chorus, since he had it memorized, he was able to scan the congregation, including the women, since they were now mixed with the men.
Not one other person had tears, although Pastor Jake had his eyes squeezed tightly shut and his hands pressed to his chest.
When the hymn ended, Ted stared at the hymnal. Silence loomed in the sanctuary as he silently read the words, perhaps thinking about them for the first time. He'd sung this song countless times, all his life, from the time he was able to read, and never really thought about the words.
He cleared his throat. "We are going to do something we have never done before," he said, speaking loudly enough so everyone could hear him clearly, all the way to the widowers in the back who were hard of hearing. "I am going to read the last verse and chorus without singing. I would like everyone to read silently with me, and think of the meaning and how this will apply to you, in your own life."
Out in the desert hear their cry,
Out on the mountains wild and high;
Hark! 'tis the Master speaks to thee,
"Go find my sheep where'er they be."
Bring them in, bring them in,
Bring them in from the fields of sin:
Bring them in, bring them in,
Bring the wand'ring ones to Jesus.
At the close of the last word, the only sound in the sanctuary was Miranda sniffling.
"Let us now sing this hymn again. From our hearts."
At the close of the hymn, Miranda was still the only one whose face shone with tears, but he clearly saw a difference in many in the congregation. His heart beat strangely in his chest as he finished off the worship time with the other hymns he'd selected, feeling different than he'd ever felt before, including the first time he'd led worship. This time, he'd really read the words as he sang them.
He returned to the pew to sit beside Miranda as Pastor Jake directed the congregation to open their Bibles to the verses for his message. While everyone else was turning pages, Miranda picked up her cell phone and flipped it open.
He leaned toward her. "What are you doing?" he spat out between his teeth. He had just had one of the most insightful moments of his life, and Miranda was about to make a phone call.
"Shh," she whispered as she hit a few of the buttons on the screen. "You're disturbing people."
He leaned closer. "And you will not be?"
She turned to him. "Where is your Bible? Did you forget it at the front? Here, I'll share."
Instead of holding out her Bible, which he didn't see, she held out her open cell phone. Tiny lines of print spread across the miniature screen. "Wait, if we're both going to do this, I have to reset the font." She poked a couple of buttons, and the print became larger.
Ted opened his mouth, but his words froze in his throat. On the screen was Luke 4:14, as Pastor Jake had directed everyone to find. The words of Jesus were colored in red, just like in his Bible.
His real Bible.
"What . . . What is this?"
"Shh!" She smacked the side of his knee with the back of her hand. "Do I have to send you away with the children? Follow what Pastor is reading."
It wasn't King James, but it was easy enough to follow.When it would have come time to turn the page, she hit a button with her thumb that scrolled the text. He continued to read the words but couldn't concentrate properly on the full meaning when he was looking at the backlit screen of . . .Miranda's cell phone.
He was reading God's Word on a telephone.
He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, she smacked his knee again.
"Knock it off," she hissed. "Can't it wait?"
It could wait. In fact, he needed some time.
As Pastor Jake presented his sermon, every time the congregation needed to read part of a verse, Miranda's cell phone popped up between them. He kept telling himself that the technology wasn't important—it was still God's Word despite the electronic medium.
But it wasn't the same. It felt wrong.
A number of times she touched buttons on the screen, then tapped sermon notes into her phone, then turned it back to the verse, and continued to listen to Pastor Jake.
It was driving him crazy. She was driving him crazy.
When Pastor Jake ended his sermon with the closing prayer, Ted once again took his place at the front to lead everyone in the closing hymn, "I Will Sing of My Redeemer." When he returned to the pew beside Miranda, she was happily tucking her cell phone back into her purse while quietly singing both parts of the chorus, all mixed up.
She looked up as she snapped her purse closed. "There you are. Now what was it that was so important you couldn't wait?"
He pointed to her purse. "I cannot believe that you have God's Word displayed on your cell phone."
She smiled broadly. "Yeah. Isn't it great? It's got a concordance with it, and all the cross references, and I can add all the notes and highlights I want."
"But it is not right."
Her smile faded. "I have news for you. Because it's in this format, I take my Bible with me wherever I go. Sometimes I read my Bible when I'm stuck in rush hour traffic. I'll bet you can't say you've ever done that. No. Wait. You've never been stuck in traffic." She waved one hand in the air. "Why can't you ever be happy for me? I thought I lost everything when it crashed not long after I got here, but I finally figured out how to reload the archive files that were backed up on my laptop.I've recovered years of notes. How would you feel if you lost the Bible you'd been making notes in since you were a teenager, and then found it again after a couple of months?"
"Well, I would feel very good."
She hugged her purse to her stomach, stood straight, and raised her nose in the air. "That's right. I feel just like the woman who lost the silver coin, then found it. And now I'm going to celebrate." She spun around so fast her skirt twirled as if it were a windy day, and she stomped off to join a group of young ladies. Without turning to acknowledge him, she walked away with Sarah and her parents.
Len and Lois joined him just as Miranda disappeared through the main door.
Lois smiled up at him. "Will you and Miranda be joining us for lunch, or are you taking her to your Onkel Bart's?"
He should have been relieved that for the first time since she'd arrived, he wouldn't be responsible for her during a Sunday lunch. Instead, he felt as if he had been slapped."Miranda is going to Peter and Susan's home. I am not going."
Lois's eyebrows raised. "Sarah is becoming good friends with her. But it is strange that you are not going with them.Would you like to come to our home for lunch?"
Ted stared at the door, watching people leave one by one.
"No. Danke shoen. I think I will just go home. I have some reading I need to do."
12
Remind me to ask if you are available the next time I must negotiate a sales agreement contract," Ted grumbled beside her while they waited for Pastor Jake to return to his office.
Miranda tapped her fingers casually on the wooden desk while Pastor Jake attended to a paper jam in the photocopier."What do you mean?"
"This is something Pastor Jake should have presented to the church board to approve. But he did not."
She smiled innocently at him. "What? I didn't say he couldn't run it past the b
oard. All I did was ask if he trusted me."
"It was not what you said, it was how you said it."
Miranda fluttered her eyelashes and puckered her lips like a kewpie doll. "What? Don't you trust me?"
She could see him grinding his teeth, something he used to do only occasionally, but now it seemed to be happening more often.
"I suspect that is one of those false questions where even though it appears that I have a choice, there is only one permissible answer I can give."
She bit her bottom lip until it began to sting. She didn't know how she answered with a straight face, but she did. "Trick question. It's called a trick question. Would I do that to you?"
One eye narrowed as he stared at her. "This appears to be another one, is it not?"
She stifled a giggle, which made him narrow both eyes."Maybe."
He sighed, bowed his head, and applied two fingers to his eyebrows. "This is not the way of my people. We have never done anything like this before. Many will not want to participate."
"But many do. I've already started to ask around. Subtly."
"You?" He made a sound that on anyone else she would have called a snort. "Subtle?"
Now Miranda gritted her teeth. "It's possible, you know."
"I have not seen evidence of this."
Pastor Jake returned and slid behind his desk, saving her the need to respond. He wiped his hands on a cloth, then stuffed the cloth into his pocket. "It is strange to be talking about Christmas preparations, when next week it will only be Easter."
Miranda suddenly perked up. "I love the Easter services.But I haven't heard anything about your Easter cantata."
Pastor Jake quirked one eyebrow. "Cantata?"
"Your Easter cantata."
He turned to Ted. "We have no special cantata planned for Easter. Do we? It is not our way to do that."
Ted shook his head. "No. We do not."
Miranda's heart sank. "But . . . this is the celebration of the resurrection. This is the reason Christ came, the fulfillment of His purpose for coming to Earth. Easter should be more important to celebrate than Christmas. We have to do something special."
Pastor Jake rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger."This is true. Ted, please add something to the service, to be special for Easter."
"But Easter is less than one week away. That is not enough time to organize anything."
"Then only do one song, but I think we should honor Miranda's request. This also will show Miranda how much we appreciate her." Miranda stared at Ted. She wasn't sure what he felt for her, but she was pretty sure it wasn't exactly appreciation.
Ted turned to her. "Our church has never added a special song for Easter before. Since your church has, how would you like to plan and organize this?"
"In less than a week? That's not enough time. Besides, I'm too busy with the Christmas drama. What about your church choir?"
Ted crossed his arms over his chest. "We do not have a choir."
"Not even for special occasions?"
"No."
"Surely you have a couple of people who could do a duet? Or a quartet?" Miranda's mind spun with possibilities. Since no one except Ted had ever sung from the front, this was a good time to see who would be brave enough to sing in front of a crowd and see how they stood up to the pressure. With two, or even four, people singing together, no one would feel alone, making it a good introduction to being on a stage, even though the church didn't have a stage. Yet. But they would.
Ted leaned back in the chair, his arms still folded across his chest. "Who do you think would do this, and who would have time to practice?"
"Sarah Janzen, first of all. Then Elaine. We need two men, but the only one I can think of who could do this on short notice is Brian."
Ted nodded. "Yes. I think this is possible. But we still need a tenor voice. What about Leonard?"
"He's too busy right now with exams at the school. Besides, I've heard him sing, and he wouldn't be my first choice."
"This is not enough notice to ask anyone else."
"What about you? Whatever song we pick, you'll know it. After all, we'll be selecting something from your music library."
A range of emotions flitted across his face, ending with resignation."Do I have a choice?"
"Uh . . . no."
He sighed. "Then I suppose that we will select something on Thursday evening, at my house, while Brian is there."
She forced herself to sit still, and not jump up and do a Snoopy Dance in front of the two men. Doing her best to keep a straight face, she glanced quickly at Pastor Jake, then concentrated on Ted. "Whatever works for you, works for me."
He made that strange almost-snort sound and stood. "It is time for me to return to work. I will drive you back to Leonard and Lois's home."
She shook her head. "No. If you wouldn't mind, can you drop me off at your house? I just got a great idea for the play, and I do my best work when I know no one else can hear me."
He hesitated for just a second but then looked up at the clock on the wall and sighed again. "Should I invite Brian over for supper?"
Mentally, Miranda calculated the time. "Yes, you should."
The ride in the car was silent, but she suspected that when Ted arrived at his house, her good fortune would be over.
One look at him as he stopped the car told her she was right. Instead of following his established pattern of getting out first and running around the car to open the door for her, he grasped the brim of his hat and straightened it, remaining seated behind the wheel. If his car had automatic door locks, she was positive this was a time he would have used them.Here, parked on the street, they could talk in private, yet be in full view of all his neighbors.
The day they talked long enough for the windows to fog up, he might have some explaining to do.
She hoped today would not be that day. She had ideas. Lots of ideas. And not a lot of time.
"Since you are obviously going to start writing today, is there a way I can get you to change your mind? I am not convinced this idea has the most wisdom."
"You've already changed my mind. I wanted to set this in a big city so it will be applicable to more people."
Ted leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest, although he looked rather cramped behind the steering wheel."But we are not doing what I wanted, either. My plan would be to show our culture and our heritage, to set this in the days when our church was founded."
Miranda turned sideways so her back pressed against the corner, half on the door and half on the seat, and crossed her arms, imitating his position. Although her knitted cap in no way conveyed the same intimidation factor as Ted's widebrimmed hat.
"The thing we did agree on was that the purpose is to attract new people from the demographic area. We have to show the positives about who you are, and what you're doing now. This can't be a history lesson."
Ted raised his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, then plopped his hat back on his head. "But we are changing now. Only a few weeks ago for the first time we have had husbands and wives and their children sitting together, on both sides of the church." His eyes narrowed. "And not everyone has noticed this, but I have seen your friends have been wearing . . . denim jeans, when they are together. I do not want to think of what will be said when word of this gets back to Pastor Jake. Or to their fathers."
"That wasn't my fault. I took them to buy blouses and pretty shoes that weren't black. I tried to get them out of the jeans department, but they wouldn't listen. But I don't know why it matters. They aren't little girls. All of them are grown women, the same age as me. They can wear whatever they want, as long as it's not indecent or disrespectful."
His body sagged, and he closed his eyes. "I try to tell myself that very thing, but it is difficult. It is not our way." He turned his head to look out the window, swiping his hand on the glass to wipe off the condensation that was beginning to accumulate."I am not sure what is our way anymore. The young ladies are gett
ing jobs, often outside of our town, and many of our young men are not coming back when they get their education.Even some of the older ladies are beginning to wear pants during the week. The young ladies have stopped wearing their prayer kapps except for Sunday and to Bible study. We have added musical instruments to our worship service."
He turned back to her. "These are not all bad things. But they are changes. Where will they stop? I do not want to become lost as they have in the ways of the cities."
There it was. As if a switch had flipped in her head, Miranda suddenly understood what his issues were. She wasn't sure what she could do about them, but she needed to reassure him that not everything was evil outside the boundaries of the ways of his father and forefathers. True, at her own church, even though it was fully and completely Mennonite to the core, most of the old-world traditions he so valued had been lost, just as he feared. This community was in a vulnerable position. Protected as they kept themselves from the outside world, whatever she put in the play, whether acted or sung, would expose something, or someone, that up until now had been kept private, whether individually or by the community.Whatever was exposed was vulnerable to injury.
"Why are you looking at me like this? I spend much time in the cities, and I see what happens there. How people act. They have cast God aside. I cannot allow that to begin here."
"I know that. You've got to trust me." Miranda yanked her hat off her head and wiped the entire passenger side window with it. "I'm going to go inside now, and you get back to work.Don't get out; I'll be fine. All I want you to think about is that I'm going to be making your supper."
He reached for his keys and began to wiggle his door key off the ring. "I am not sure how I am supposed to respond," he muttered as he pulled off the right key and handed it to her. "And I would like to know, what exactly is a trans fat, anyway?"