This is Hell, he thought for a thousandth time. No wonder that old guy was called Dante. Divine comedy indeed. A real hell isn’t just a place where your worst fears come true. It’s a place that laughs at your best fantasies, twists them and shows you how wrong you were to want them. This is all a big joke. I died, and I wasn’t a good enough boy, so I went to Hell, and this is it.
“Okay dude, don’t take this personal,” a big Brute named Zorg was telling to the dart-spitting little Shaman. “I mean the hell do I know. He’s the party leader, he comes back, he tells us. I’d say we raid this baby. We are here anyway. So what if it’s deep Human territory. We can pull out quick enough, no? Our portal is well-hidden I say. Well I hate Spiders but they creep up on us anyway, damn Spiders.”
“Well, I am happy these are not Skeletons,” the Shaman replied. “I can hardly bring down a Skeleton, and there are LOTS of them, and I mean what kind of AI is this? You know what the true goal of every AI is in the game, always? I mean this big rule these guys are supposed to follow if they want their game to sell, right? So their CEO spoke up at the latest Comic Con, and he explained all this stuff.”
“He’s fat and stupid,” said the big Orkish Brute, playing with his piece of a tree trunk. “I mean don’t get me wrong. Their success is totally random, these guys have zero original ideas all by themselves. They stole everything. Just look at me. Don’t you see? It’s all stolen from Warhammer. Even my warhammer is stolen from Warhammer. I’m sure they approached Games Workshop first. I’m sure they were told NO, and I’ll tell you why.”
“Why?” the Shaman asked.
“Because they’re stupid is why,” the Ork answered. “They are all a bunch of spoiled kids, people who own these corporations. And everything they make, it’s completely hype-driven, made for hipsters, made to look cool on purpose, while the real class, the soul is missing completely. They have no idea what they’re doing. They all sold out so long ago.”
“The AI,” the Shaman said. “So whatever, this is older than them in fact; this is like an old golden rule of making games or something. The main goal and purpose of existence of every AI enemy in this game and any other?”
“Yeah?”
“To lose graciously,” the Shaman said, looking wise if not for his voice and a long triangular nose glittering in the firelight. “It’s what these enemies are for. They only pretend they want to kill you. While in fact, the AI wants YOU to win. These mobs, they like serve themselves to you on a platter. They want you to win, just not too easily, because where’s the fun in that? They do it all for your entertainment, the fun and nothing else.”
“I’m not a fan of this fun,” the Ork said. “It’s like Super Mario fun. I always hated this kind of entertainment to be honest. It’s like you enjoy pain or something. Enjoy dying all the time on these moving platforms. I suffered and died on these platforms every time, you know? Level two, the moving platforms. Never made it past them. All progress lost, how about that?”
“Oh, but they’re so easy,” the Shaman said. “Man, what emulator did you use, what controller? Was that an original SNES?”
“Look, I only tried it once or twice because I’ve been told it’s a classic,” the Ork said. “I know people say I’m hardcore, but I never was very hardcore. I died ten times in a row on these platforms, I swear. I have no idea, they’re moving all the time, up and down, and there’s this abyss all around, and if you miss them just a little, you die, so it all just makes me nervous, and jumpy, so I miss them and die. Is it supposed to be fun? Is this entertainment?”
“Well, it’s just reflexes,” the Shaman said. “This game, it wants you to invest, sorta, to develop your skills, yeah? Every 80s arcade I played is like that. It wants to be more than just entertainment. It wasn’t built to make you happy, and it won’t make you feel cool an easy way, like modern games do. These old games, they’re like a training course. They demand you to become a superhero, with lightning reflexes, like, secretly superhuman amongst other kids. It’s like, you don’t need sports if you can beat Super Mario and Battletoads every time on the first run. You will fight like Neo then, dodge bullets and stuff.”
“It’s like this story, you know,” the Orkish Brute said. “This kid, he goes home from school, and he sees a little boy on this little bike, suddenly riding straight to the road, yeah, where the cars are, going straight under a bus.”
“Yeah?”
“Or maybe it was this big truck…” the Ork said. “Anyways, this kid, he grabs the little boy and his bike a second before the boy is dead, right? Like superhuman reflexes. The ambulance and police both arrive then, and they all want to test his reflexes, so it turns out he’s like this cyborg, you know. Like he’s more than human, this kid.”
“Like Neo.”
“Like totally trained to kill. I mean he says to this cop then, point your gun at me. So the cop is old, and cynical, so he does pull his gun on the kid, and the kid is like WHOOSH, disappears, you know?”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like he’s gone, and then he reappears at the same place holding this policeman’s gun and pointing it back at the cop!”
“Go to hell!”
“Hey, shut up, snotty. This is exactly what happened, I saw it on the news,” the Ork said. “So the doctors then used this slo-mo camera, you know.”
“The doctors?”
“Yeah, for there was also this little boy and his bike, and he was, like, scared, and maybe scratched a bit, so they called the ER, right? There was an ambulance. So paramedics used this slo-mo camera on the kid.”
“Where did it come from?” the Shaman asked. “I mean, it’s not a very medical thing, a slo-mo camera. It’s not like you can heal someone with a camera.”
“Well, they needed it to film dying people of course,” the Ork said.
“Dying people?”
“Sure. The cause of death. To prove they didn’t off some granny, you know. To rob her house or whatever. I mean it’s paramedics, they can knock you out with chloroform and the hell you can do, right?”
“They can take you to a secret lab,” the Shaman suggested. “And test you, I mean they often hijack people and make all kinds of experiments on them, and then play it out like aliens did it.”
“They can,” the Ork said. “They even make these circles in the fields and fly fake UFOs to make it seem like aliens exist. But I mean this is not the point. So those paramedics were not evil and they had this camera they filmed their patients with, to prove they don’t do anything evil.”
“Okay.”
“So they tested this kid, and what do you know? He has these superhuman reflexes, better than anyone on Earth.”
“Yeah?”
“And they ask him, on camera, I swear I saw this interview or maybe my dad saw it and told me,” the Ork went on. “They ask the kid, how come you are like this? These are some reflexes better than our secret agents and special assassins have. Like, not even ninjas have such reflexes. It’s like you’re a cyborg ninja assassin or something, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“So the kid says, well I am a gamer, I play a lot of games, is all.” The Ork shrugged, demonstrating the kid’s easy-going attitude. “And this was it; the kid was simply a gamer, right? And he trained playing games.”
“This is how I often feel,” the Shaman admitted dreamily, his onion-like head resting on his two hands. “Or, you know, I also play tabletop stuff a lot, also RPGs.”
“Right.”
“And there you do stuff in turns, right? And you have to take two actions for example and then wait for your turn again?”
“Right.”
“So I swear, I sometimes used to run across the street, like catching that green light before it winks out, and it’s sometimes like I would freeze in place.”
“Freeze? You mean, stop?”
“No, I mean like Neo,” the Shaman said. “Like everything else would stop. And then I’m t
hinking: oh no. I’m out of actions. My turn is over in the middle of the street. And then it will pass, and I’ll be like, phew. And everything will start to move again.”
“Superskills,” the big Ork agreed. “This is like you can actually control time.”
“Yeah.”
I probably look like Gollum, Zack thought. Hiding in here, totally alienated. Oh, I wish I had this precious Ring of his, to make me invisible. I probably look ridiculous, squatting here behind this stupid waterfall.
He was nearly ready to step up and start conversation with the Orks, talk things through. But something held him back. Some bad kind of feeling.
“So what he says is, we should go back to the Swamplands, go back to the spawn altar thingy,” the Brute with a warhammer stolen from Warhammer went on while Zack wasn’t listening. “Because you see, it’s not safe here anyway, and we’re better off next to our corpses if stuff will go down…”
“LOOK WHAT I’VE FOUND SNEAKING UP ON US!” A new voice thundered right behind Zack’s back.
Before Zack could realize what was happening, he was pulled back and frozen in place, a muscular green arm materializing around his neck.
MadDoc reveals Commando Grab!
Commando Grab: Cancel Shadow Game, reveal Self.
Immobilize target, drain Stamina.
“I knew it,” Zack breathed out. “There were three of you… A Brute, a Shaman…”
“And a Commando,” the medium-sized newcomer Ork replied into his ear, his scythe-like brutish blade pressed into Zack’s throat. “A bit of asymmetry. Not what you expected to find, hummie?”
“Look,” Zack groaned. “I know you’re not as savage and brutal as you guys try to look. I know you will understand me if I tell you what happened.”
“This being what exactly?” MadDoc inquired in his ear. “You have fifty more seconds before my Commando Grab times out. Then you die, so speak fast.”
“I am a victim of a secret experiment, I believe,” Zack said. “I was trapped inside this game by some mind-hijacking technology. If you’ll kill me now, I die for real.”
The three Orks looked at each other, making up their minds.
“You only say this so we let you go. You want us to let our guard down,” the Shaman suggested in his squeaky goblin voice.
“Yeah, you stole this idea in fact,” his gorilla-like Brute companion said, rising up, his tree trunk of a warhammer battle-ready. “You stole the idea we discussed with my friend here, which you had no right to listen to in the first place. And now you want to sweet-talk us and distract us until the rest of your party arrives to save you.”
“Look,” Zack said. “You understand this game is like a social test, right? It tests us. Like you said. It wants to know how humane we are.”
“There’s a reason why we are not Human,” MadDoc the Commando said, his blade still in place. “This is exactly why we play as Orks. We’re not really humane. We are not afraid to be evil. We are okay with being bad and strong and brutal. This is the spirit of the game we were looking for in the first place.”
“But must we always fight each other?” Zack asked him. “Simply based on a race? It’s just insane. Why Orks must always be bad and Elves good? I’m not playing as Human because I like Humans. I’m only doing this because I wanted to be an Alchemist, and this is a Human class.”
The blade was suddenly gone. Zack turned around, but only to find both Brute and Shaman step up from behind and crowd him, ready to take him down as a well-choreographed party. Even MadDoc looked ready to latch back onto his throat.
“Yes, my Grab timed out, and yet you’re still alive,” MadDoc admitted. “But this is only because I wanted to have this extra say. I know you have a party behind you. I know this is a trap. I am not a noob. Sorry, kid. We gonna have to kill you no matter what.”
“Wait!” Zack exclaimed, trying not to make any sudden moves resulting in him being instakilled. “Wait, just think of it! Why can’t we learn something humanist from this game? Why not refuse their command? They want us to fight and kill each other! Is this the kind of game you want to buy into? Is it the superpower you’d like to learn? Killing someone who’s weaker than you? For real? Even if he says it’s for real?”
They still didn’t attack him. Zack grew more assured with every second.
“Many of us were mistreated in high school or somewhere else,” he said. “We were taught being a bad kid is desirable. Everyone is afraid of you. No one wants to approach you, no matter what. You are no longer a nerd. You’re this mysterious lone assassin who is dangerous and hides many terrible secrets.”
“Yeah, you know what,” MadDoc said. “Now that you put it this way, I think we must kill you after all. Because you make it sound so cool. Die, Human! Yeah boys?”
“YEAH!” The collective answer was, and Zack saw the Brute’s warhammer raised high above his head.
TWANG! A bowstring echoed underground like a gong, and the Orkish Brute stopped, his hammer raised to crush Zack, a peacock-feathered arrow thrumming in his neck. The second arrow came, this one enchanted, flaming and raining sparks on the ground as it planted itself in the Brute’s eye.
ZorgTheCrusher was hit by AliceX and lost 54 hit points
ZorgTheCrusher was CRITICALLY hit by AliceX, lost 121 hit points, and was killed!
)))Illuminatus((( was CRITICALLY hit by AliceX, lost 73 hit points, and was killed!
TWANG! Another arrow whistled through the air and swept the fragile Shaman off his feet, instakilling him and nailing him to the cave wall behind his back, the Orkish blood painting the rock oily black in the eerie glow of mushrooms, like a big glistening shadow.
The muscular green arm of MadDoc wrapped around his throat again, and Zack felt the crude, scratchy, and cold Orkish steel pressed to his skin once more.
“I have him!” the Commando exclaimed, spinning him around, scanning the cave for the sight of the shooter. “I swear it, if you just…”
TWANG! Another Elven arrow, festive like a hummingbird, planted itself between his eyes, followed by two more, and MadDoc’s grip was suddenly gone. Zack breathed in, rubbing his neck. He could barely stand. His Stamina was drained for real.
MadDoc was CRITICALLY hit by AliceX and lost 65 hit points
MadDoc was hit by AliceX and lost 21 hit points
MadDoc was hit by AliceX, lost 16 hit points, and was killed!
The Orkish Commando collapsed, his body fading into shadows again, his Shadow Game aura still active due to his immobility.
The golden-braided Elf girl stepped over his blurring corpse, out of the shadows and into the bonfire glow.
“I decided to believe you,” AliceX said. “I mean, it’s much more intriguing than following our Conan around, I have to give you that. And I don’t trust this new Rogue fellow either, so. Permadeath, huh?”
“Yeah,” Zack said. He rubbed his neck again and smiled.
She frowned and squinted at him, her gracious little frame lit by the bonfire. She was beautiful like only a golden-braided Elf Ranger could be.
“You’re not a man roleplaying this Elven girl, are you?” Zack asked her.
AliceX shook her head.
“Though I cannot see how it matters,” she said. “You’re so obviously a loser anyways.”
Chapter 8: Differences of POV
“They will still kill me. I must go deeper. I must hide here, wait for them to move on,” Zack told her as they were looting the green corpses.
“Maybe they won’t,” AliceX replied. “If you go deeper, you’ll die for sure. Here, carry this Warhammer +26, it’s too heavy for me. I’ll tell them you helped us with these Orks. Right? Maybe they won’t. Sheesh. You’re like my little brother.”
“How’s that?”
“You’re also helpless. You’re both endangered species,” she said. “Let’s go. You have nowhere else to go anyway, do you?”
“I’ll stay here,” Zack said.
“Please,” he begged.
“No can do,” AliceX replied. “You’re a known griefer. And a camper. And a crab.”
“Okay, you know what?” Zack finally got angry. “You girls have this strange tendency to sacrifice us boys to something weird, make us do things you’ll maybe regret later. Okay. I will die, but I will go down fighting. And you will be sorry to see me killed.”
“Don’t try to put this on me,” AliceX said. “I’m on your side.”
“You will be very sorry. You will be watching this, and you will be very sorry.”
“Look, I am already sorry I saved you, okay?” she said. “Maybe it would have been easier. I mean you are SO pathetic. All you do is pity yourself. He will go down fighting, ha. Fight your way free, make me respect you, man! Kill them all and I’ll follow you. You’ve got Permadeath on? Go for the altar and switch it off, come on.”
“If only you would go with me,” Zack said. “If only you would, I’d show you the altar is gone. Broken. Doesn’t work anymore. No way to switch anything off. And I mean…”
He shook his hands and ran them through his hair, hoping to demonstrate to her he feels no VR helmet and no VR gloves on him, but AliceX paid his gesture no mind – maybe she took it for some emotional macro he used. Zack demonstrates his spineless attitude, something like that. This girl seemed to be as cruel as they come.
“Look, I realized recently this game is more than life,” Zack told her. “It’s a caricature of life. But maybe there’s a deeper meaning to all this! What if our paths crossed here for a reason? What if I AM your prince in this reality, someone you was meant to save, and care about, and…”
“Hey,” AliceX said, splashing on through the darkness in front of him. “Hey. I like this game for the stories it tells, yes. I enjoy the narrative component very much. I try to look for fun and meaningful stuff in this game.”
The Alchemist of Aetheria: A LitRPG Adventure Page 13