I thought of Alex, surviving somewhere in the corners of my mind. He had overcome all his obstacles. He was free of his fear of becoming like his father. He was free of Ruen. Could I do the same?
I sat down and slid my fingers up the keys, finding a high B with the third finger of my right hand. Poppy, I thought, her face bright in my head.
And I began to play.
DEMONS DO NOT EXIST ANY MORE THAN
GODS DO, BEING ONLY THE PRODUCTS
OF THE PSYCHIC ACTIVITY OF MAN.
—SIGMUND FREUD
FOR PHOENIX
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First and foremost, I wish to thank my husband, Jared Jess-Cooke. Thank you, my love, for your patience, for Alex’s jokes, for generally putting up with me while I wrote this, and for your endless encouragement.
To my agent, Madeleine Milburn, a kung-fu bow of respect, love, and a debt of appreciation for reminding me to follow my instinct. To my U.S. editor, Kate Miciak, thank you so much for your marvelous creativity and passion for this book. To my U.K. editor, Emma Beswetherick, Lucy Icke, and the rest of the team at Piatkus, I thank you all warmly for your help and for cheering me on.
The research I carried out for this book gave me a lot of respect for the people involved in children’s mental health in the U.K., particularly in Northern Ireland. In this regard, I am indebted to Dr. Marinos Kyriakopoulos, who helped enormously with my inquiries into early-onset schizophrenia, and who was generous enough to do not one but two very thorough fact-checking reads of drafts of this book. Thanks also to Dr. Stephen Westgarth for his help and advice on childhood psychotic disorders, to Dr. Aditya Sharma for his generosity and insights, and to Helen Stew for information on social services. All errors—including my deliberate sidesteps from fact during the pursuit of good fiction—are mine.
Love and thanks to my friends and family who championed me throughout, especially my mother-in-law, Evita Cooke, who was there to help out with child care at a moment’s notice. Having someone who was willing to feed, bathe, and put the children to bed while I was nine months pregnant and struggling to finish the first draft of this book was a true (and characteristic) act of generosity and kindness.
A warm thank-you to those readers whose kind e-mails—often including the line “don’t stop writing!”—serendipitously reached my in-box on those days when I most needed encouragement.
Finally, I want to thank my little ones—Melody, Phoenix, Summer, and Willow. There is no greater inspiration in my life than the four of you.
BY CAROLYN JESS-COOKE
FICTION
THE BOY WHO COULD SEE DEMONS
THE GUARDIAN ANGEL’S JOURNAL
POETRY
INROADS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CAROLYN JESS-COOKE was born to a musical family in Belfast, Northern Ireland. She is an award-winning author of poems and novels, as well as four nonfiction books. Her first poetry collection, Inroads, won the Tyrone Guthrie Award, an Eric Gregory Award from the Society of Authors, a Northern Promise Award, and was shortlisted for the London New Poetry Award. Her bestselling novel The Guardian Angel’s Journal has been translated into twenty-one languages.
www.carolynjesscooke.com
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