She wanted to do more. She understood where the line was, and that by trying to do more she would insult them. Lien would never do that.
She squeezed Joe’s fingers. ‘Regan is a smart kid. And kids are more resilient than we think they are. He knows he has you. He knows he has his grandparents who love him. He also knows that his family is a little different from some of the other kids around him.’
She saw him blink and recognised the unshed tears in his eyes. Every instinct told her that Joe didn’t normally let anyone see him cry. She could bet he’d shed a million tears over the loss of his wife, but Joe was the kind of guy to do that in private. His face for the outside world would be stoic. He was revealing parts of himself that he wouldn’t normally.
Maybe it was being in a different country with unfamiliar people that was amplifying things for him. Or maybe he felt the connection between them that she tried her best not to think about.
She spoke quietly. ‘Joe, I know this is hard. And I know there will always be dates, or occasions, in the future that will hit hard too.’ She was thinking of special birthdays or Christmases. ‘But I just want to tell you I think you’re doing a great job. And Regan? He’s a great kid. Smart, cheeky, with a big heart. You can’t ask for more.’
Joe sucked in a deep breath and the expression on his face softened. The deep lines on his forehead smoothed out. He untangled their fingers and turned her palm over, tracing little circles with one of his fingers.
It was soothing. It was comforting. But it also sent a whole host of little zings up her arm.
Those green eyes met hers under heavy lids. ‘How did I get so lucky?’ he asked.
‘With Regan?’
He shook his head. ‘No.’ His gaze was steady. ‘With a colleague like you.’ He lowered his gaze now. ‘I don’t like to wobble. I hate to feel that I can’t be everything that my kid needs. On the few occasions I wobbled back home, my mum and dad helped paper over the cracks. We didn’t talk about it. I’d just get up the next day to find my mother had crept in overnight and left a big pot of soup on the stove, or had done the mountain of ironing that I’d left. Or I’d get home from work and find my dad had mown the lawn that had been in danger of turning into a jungle.’
She gave a little laugh. The heat was spreading up her arm.
‘Well,’ she said softly, ‘I certainly don’t have—what do you call it, green fingers?’
He nodded and she continued. ‘Neither am I particularly great with ironing. But I can tell you where all the best restaurants and stores are. I can find a thousand ways to amuse a kid without spending any money, and I can loan you another thousand bedtime stories.’
Joe sighed, and his finger kept tracing circles in her palm. ‘I feel so weird about all this.’
‘Why?’
He looked up, straight into her eyes. ‘Us.’
Her back automatically straightened. Her mouth almost asked the question, Is there an us? But Joe started talking again.
‘I feel as if I was meant to meet you. Meant to come here.’
She laughed. ‘Your mother bought you the tickets.’ She was doing her best to make light of this conversation because she was nervous. Nervous about what he might be about to say, or ask.
‘She might have. But this time, this place...’ He looked around and held out his hand. ‘A crazy diner in the middle of Vietnam...it just feels...’ he took a breath before the next word as their gazes meshed ‘...right.’
It was as if something unfurled inside her, like a flower bud opening to blossom. She could feel the heat spread out through her abdomen. She hadn’t expected this. She hadn’t expected anything. But she couldn’t deny the crazy connection she was feeling.
She took a deep breath. ‘You mentioned Scotland—’
She didn’t get a chance to continue because Joe’s eyes lit up and he started talking straight away. ‘Yes. Think about it. Why not give it a try? The scenery is just as good as Vietnam.’ He smiled. ‘Maybe not the temperature. But there’s so much to do. So much to see. Even I can’t believe the similarities I see between Glasgow and Hanoi.’ He reached over and grabbed her hand. ‘I’d love to show you around Glasgow, just like you’ve done for me and Regan here. Who knows, you might even want to stay.’ His eyes sparkled as he said those words and her heart sank like a stone. ‘You can stay with us—we have plenty of room.’
She swallowed, her mouth dry. A few seconds ago their connection had felt stronger than ever as he’d told her about his worries about Regan. He’d confided in her enough to tell her that. She could see he was brimming with enthusiasm now and she couldn’t find the right words. Their cultural and social backgrounds didn’t just feel different at this moment, they felt like a vast abyss. She would never realistically leave Hanoi again—not for anything other than a holiday. Her heart rested here. With the people who needed her most.
She licked her lips. ‘Thanks for the offer,’ she said as casually as she could. ‘Lots to think about.’ She stopped there. She didn’t feel up to this conversation going any further.
The waitress appeared with a bright smile and put the plates on the table with a loud clunk. Both of them looked up sharply and Lien pulled her hand back. Regan had obviously spotted the food because he appeared at their side. ‘Is that my burger?’
‘Sure is, buddy.’ Joe pulled him up into the booth with them and shot her a quick smile.
She nodded back. This conversation had to be over for now. But as she picked up her knife and fork the turbulent feelings inside her stayed, and somehow she knew as she tried to sleep tonight her brain would be awash with a million other thoughts.
It was the first time he’d been openly affectionate towards her. It was the first time he’d looked at her and said the word ‘us’. In just a few months he’d be going back to Scotland—with an expectation that she might want to go too.
And even though there was only a few inches between them, she’d never felt further away.
CHAPTER NINE
‘I DON’T WANT you to get too excited, but today we get a day off.’ Lien appeared at their hotel room door just before seven a.m. She was smiling, standing in the doorway wearing a loose bright orange top and a pair of white linen trousers. Her hair was in a ponytail tied up high on her head.
Joe opened the door rubbing his eyes, but at her words he automatically perked up. ‘What? Really?’
Lien nodded. ‘We’re just down here to cover for holidays. Plus, we’re only about fifty kilometres from one of the most beautiful places on the planet—it’s even a world heritage site.’
He wrinkled his nose. He was still waking up and his brain was playing catch-up. ‘Where’s that?’
‘Hạ Long Bay. I feel kind of obliged to take you there and show it to you. Nobody should come to Vietnam and not see it. Plus there are some gorgeous hotels to stay in overnight, and watching the sunset there at night is just magical.’
He gave her a curious stare. For some strange reason he felt a sweep of jealousy. ‘How often have you done that?’
She tapped the side of her nose. ‘More often than you need to know about.’ She was teasing, he knew that, but it was strange how his brain was working. That sharp twinge of jealousy remained, along with a lot of curiosity.
‘Can we go, Daddy?’ Regan had appeared beside him and was instantly excited. ‘Is there swimming?’
Lien walked over and bent down beside him. ‘Sure there’s swimming. Want me to take you in?’
Regan was already excited, jumping around. ‘Yeah! Find my swimming trunks, Daddy. Let’s go!’
Joe couldn’t help but smile as he watched her bending down with his son. It was still playing on his mind—persuading her to think about coming to Scotland with him and Regan. Maybe today would be the perfect opportunity. Lien had a large brown paper bag in her hand. ‘What’s that?’ he asked.
‘Aha.’ She gave them both a wide smile and opened the bag, letting the aroma of fresh Vietnamese bread spread throughout the room. ‘This is breakfast. We can’t start a day without snacks, can we?’
They piled into the car after finishing their breakfast and headed down towards the coast. Even though he offered to drive, Lien waved him off. ‘Let me, I’m familiar with this road. It gets a bit twisty later on.’
She was right, of course, and while the busy traffic of the city wasn’t quite replicated on these roads, there were still numerous motorcycles that seemed to dodge in and out of the sometimes stationary cars.
As they moved towards the coast the traffic built up again. Lien turned to them both. ‘Okay, I have to warn you. This is an absolute tourist hotspot. This place will be busy.’ She shot over her shoulder, ‘Regan, you always need to hold someone’s hand.’
‘We have a few of these in Scotland too. Not World Heritage sights,’ he said quickly. ‘I mean tourist hotspots. The castle in Edinburgh practically buzzes with people. As do the Christmas markets.’ He gave her a smile, as he could see them in his head, bright lights, decorations and the smells of chestnuts and wine. ‘I think you’d like them.’
Lien pursed her lips. It was almost as if she hadn’t heard those words. She, instead, continued their previous conversation.
She nodded ahead. ‘The good thing is, you’re here with me. I’ve booked us into a hotel just a little way up the coast that sits practically on the beach.’
‘Doesn’t it get overrun with tourists too?’
She smiled and raised an eyebrow. ‘They don’t take international bookings. They’re not on any website to speak of. They don’t need to. You can only book by phone and you have to speak Vietnamese to book.’
Joe pulled a face. ‘Then how did we manage to get in?’
She patted her hand on her chest. ‘Because you guys are with me. Plus they know Khiem and Hoa. Our doctors regularly have a night or two down here.’
She wound her way through some back streets and pulled up outside a hotel that was set on stilts like the hospital. Except this building looked very modern—it was white with large glass windows. They parked at the back and checked in at Reception.
‘Don’t look out of your bedroom window, you two, just get changed into your trunks, keep a T-shirt on, and I’ll meet you back down here in five.’
Joe resisted the temptation to pull back the large white curtain from the glass doors in the room, and changed quickly, taking a few minutes to cover both him and Regan in sunscreen with mosquito repellent. He didn’t want to take any chances, so he also threw some light long-sleeved tops and trousers into their beach bag.
Lien was waiting for them near the top of a flight of stairs. ‘Are you ready?’
She was smiling as she waved them up. ‘Take a look at what I think is one of the wonders of the world.’ She smiled.
Joe stepped out. In front of them were hundreds of little islets in a bay of bright green water. Some of them were topped with thick jungle growth and a whole host of them were dotted all along the expanse of the bay. Further down, there were numerous boats, motor cruisers, Vietnamese junks and smaller fishing boats. A few rowing boats were bobbing underneath them along a wooden pier. ‘Wow,’ he whispered.
Lien’s arms brushed against his as she leaned on the wooden railing alongside him. ‘Yep—wow.’ She pointed to the islets in front of them. ‘There are more than sixteen hundred islets. They’re made of limestone and they’re all different sizes. Some big enough to have their own lakes, and a large number of them are hollow inside with gorgeous caves.’ She sighed as she looked out across the bay. ‘This beauty is the result of five hundred million years of tropical downpours.’
They stood for a moment just admiring the expansive view.
Lien nudged him. ‘There are lots of tours and special cruises that go around the caves—particularly at night. Some of the caves are lit up in spectacular colours, oranges, purples, pinks. There are also lots of tours where you can go diving in the middle of the bay.’
She looked up out of dark eyes.
‘Anywhere you can do that in Scotland?’ There was the glimmer of a faint smile on her lips, even though it looked a little sad.
Joe shuddered. ‘Only thing like this in Scotland is what we call the “stacks”. Stacks of rock in the sea up and down the coastline of Scotland. Most are around the Highlands, and you definitely wouldn’t want to swim in the sea there.’
Lien shuddered. This time her face brightened a little more. ‘Let’s stick to Vietnam, then.’
They stood watching as one of the sleek white cruisers, packed with people, prepared to head into one of the sets of caves in the distance.
‘What are we going to do, Lien?’ asked Regan, practically bouncing on his toes.
She bent down to speak to him. ‘We are going to go down and take one of the rowing boats. See those islets out there? We can row over to any of them and explore. You pick.’
‘Really?’ Regan’s head whipped one way and then the next. ‘I can choose?’
‘You can choose.’ She beamed at him.
Joe’s heart swelled at how sweet she was with Regan. And it came naturally to her, it wasn’t forced at all. He could see that, and it made it more special.
He looked down at the array of boats. ‘Have you done this before?’
‘Of course. Lots of times. It’s the best way to explore the bay.’
She held out her hands, one to Joe and one to Regan, and led them down the narrow path from the hotel to the bay. They climbed into the boat they chose, Regan laughing nervously as it rocked, and donned the life jackets inside. Lien leaned back for a second, closed her eyes and just breathed.
Regan shot Joe a questioning look.
Joe couldn’t help but keep his eyes on Lien. It was almost like he was witnessing her little ritual. A wide smile spread across her face before she opened her eyes again.
Now it was all business. The business of fun.
She clapped her hands together. ‘Okay, so we’re at the quieter end of the bay. Like I told you, hardly anyone knows about this hotel in the fishing village. There are around seven hundred and seventy-five formations in a space of just three hundred kilometres in the main hub of the bay.’ She turned to Regan. ‘It’s almost like a baker stood above it and sprinkled it with chocolate chips.’
He let out a laugh. ‘Want to sit next to me and help me row?’ she asked.
‘Can I?’ Joe could see the excitement gleaming in his eyes.
‘Sure,’ he said as he took his position at the other oar. Together they pulled away from where the rowing boats were moored and made their way across the perfect green sea.
‘It doesn’t seem real,’ Joe murmured as their boat cut across the water.
It only took a few minutes for Regan to frown and say, ‘This is hard work.’
Joe laughed. ‘You think?’
Regan pointed to the nearest stack of limestone covered with thick green foliage. ‘I pick this one.’
Both Joe and Lien laughed. She shook her head. ‘Lazybones. There’s another one, just a bit further out. It’s got a cave we can take the boat inside. It’s like a private lagoon. I think you’ll like it more.’ She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. ‘Maybe we’ll spot some pirates!’
Regan gasped, a gleam appearing in his eyes. ‘Row faster!’ he exclaimed.
Around them other boats appeared. A party of around twenty kayaks glided past them, gathering at the bottom of one of the more impressive tall islets. ‘It’s a rock-climbing tour,’ said Lien as they kept rowing.
‘People are going to climb that?’ asked Regan, his eyes wide as he tilted his head back and stared at the towering stack.
‘Every day people climb that.’ She nodded. ‘This place is really popular with rock-climbers.’ She paused and s
hipped her oar. ‘Want to watch for a bit?’
Regan nodded and they shipped the other oar and leaned back in the boat, watching the intricacies of people attempting to climb a stack in the middle of the bay.
It took the climbers a while, and Joe reapplied their sunscreen and mosquito protection as they watched. Lien let him finish, then smiled. ‘How about we take a dip in the water while we wait?’
Joe leaned over. The emerald-green water was clear, but he had no idea how deep the bay was. Lien must have read his thoughts. She tapped the life jacket she was wearing. ‘Let’s just keep these on,’ she said. ‘There are no currents around here, so we have nothing to worry about.’ She turned to Regan. ‘Will I go first, then you can jump in and join me?’
Regan nodded enthusiastically, so Lien positioned herself at the side of the boat, let out a yell, pulled up her legs and jumped.
It was a perfect dive bomb. Not at all what he was expecting. In his head he’d pictured her diving into the bay in one smooth move, but of course she was wearing a life jacket, and diving properly into the bay wouldn’t work.
He already knew that Lien didn’t need the life jacket—neither did he—but she’d wanted to make sure that Regan would be happy to keep his on, which was why she’d mentioned it out loud.
‘Can I do that, Daddy?’ asked Regan straight away as Lien pushed her wet hair back from her face and bobbed, laughing, just in front of them.
She held out her hands towards him. ‘Come on, kid,’ she said, her eyes sparkling.
Regan didn’t hesitate. He let out a yell and copied Lien’s dive bomb, flying through the air and splashing into the green water.
Joe automatically held his breath, waiting for the second when Regan would bob back up.
He sighed as Regan burst back up, coughing and spluttering. There was always just that moment when his irrational brain kicked in—fearing that something had happened to his son.
Healing the Single Dad's Heart Page 11