by Imogene Nix
What a mess I’ve created! “I thought that I had to be focused on my career. I always believed I was doing the right thing. Not once did it occur to me that I would feel so alone, or that in doing the right thing I would hurt you too.” He opened his eyes and shrugged, knowing his words sounded like a pale, weak excuse, but he refused to give her anything less than the full truth now.
“Why? Why didn’t you ask me? I was always honest with you.” She continued to face the door, one hand flung out to clutch the doorjamb, as if she needed the support. Need chewed at him to support her, physically and emotionally, but it was clear she wouldn’t welcome his touch. “Why didn’t you give me the chance to have my say?” The anguished words fell between them.
“Kera, I’m sorry.” His feet moved, against his better judgment, as he stretched out his hands. When he touched the cloth of her flight suit, she shrugged him away, turning around with anger and fury clear on her face. Her fists clenched tightly, and her lips compressed, little white strain lines apparent around her beautiful mouth.
“You know what? Sorry just isn’t good enough for me. You’ve had years to turn this over in your mind. This is the first time you’ve acknowledged any feelings to me. It’s not like tonight is the first time you knew how I felt. You’ve known for a long time. Years.” She straightened, pushing back shoulders that still shook. “So, that’s where the situation ends. I can’t do this anymore. Not with you. From now on, we are commander and admiral. Nothing more and nothing less.” She made a cutting sign with her hand. It slashed through the air, illustrating her deep anger. It felt as if he had been physically cut by her movements.
“Kera...”
“No. I’m leaving.” She swiped her hand over the palm screen, turning back just once, her face pale and tight. “Make sure you lock this. Just like your heart.” With that last sharp shot, she left, not waiting for the door to slide closed.
Gustav stood there, watching the door. His heart had been thoroughly trampled, and he rubbed the aching spot where the damaged organ lay shattered.
The man many hailed as one of the greatest strategists in the Empire couldn’t say or do the right thing with the one woman he’d wanted for so long. He shook his head. Tomorrow, in the cold light of artificial day, he would roll it over in his mind. Perhaps with a clear head he would find some way, something to save the situation.
He turned slowly, emotional exhaustion dragging at him. Heading back to the table, he picked up his half-empty glass. Gustav stared at the red wine glowing under the lights before carefully placing the glass back on the table. Alcohol would offer nothing except a temporary escape.
Chapter 5
Jerrold had apprised the others of the information. The woman heading their team, bitch though she was, had seemed pleased with the intelligence he’d already gleaned.
Turning, he noted the jerky movements of the ashen-faced commander as she scurried away from the door of the admiral’s private quarters. Her emotional state told him something unpleasant had occurred. He smiled, knowing Crick would be pleased with this report.
Remaining in the shadows, Jerrold followed her down the hall, his feet silent on the treads. His long hair caught on the stucco of the wall, and his skin felt abraded from the bite of the gritty surface through his thin uniform.
He smiled as he formulated his latest communiqué in his head.
Crick would no doubt wish them to move swiftly and head off the threat to his plans. The woman needed to remain uninvolved. Best of all, the person who’d suffer would be the admiral. The one who had made sure Jerrold had no future in the Admiralty. How he would regret that once everything they worked for came to pass.
At her quarters, he saw the palm plate on her door glow red, indicating she was already inside, and he swung away. Nothing more to do tonight. And with that thought he turned back to the doorway leading out of the building. While he made his way to his own dingy apartment nearby, he allowed his mind to wander to the food he would eat after he found release. That need always came first.
Excitement zinged through his blood, and he gripped the printed image in his pocket. Her picture would offer enough incentive for his pleasure that night. He laughed, feeling his erection moving against the cheap clothing as he entered his apartment block. Slapping a dirty hand to the palm unit, he shoved his way inside and tore at his buttons.
Chapter 6
Kera moved down the stairs, dashing at the few tears which had escaped with the heel of her hand. Her eyes burned as the pain in her chest ballooned, threatening to choke her, but she held the sobs inside. She wouldn’t lose her dignity here, where anyone might hear her despair and share the news. No, she would wait until the relative safety of her apartment encompassed her. Even so, thoughts of Gustav’s deception skittered through her mind, and she tried to slam the mental door shut.
He knew but never said anything. He experienced the same emotions, and even knowing her feelings, his decision was to push them...push her away without even considering her needs or asking her thoughts. That was unconscionable to her.
With eyes blinded by tears, Kera made her way to the door. Fitting her palm over the reader, she waited for the panel to turn green then lurched unsteadily inside. The door whooshed shut behind her, and she let go of her tenuous hold of the grief ripping through her entire body. Great heaving shudders and sobs rent the air, scorching her throat and eyes.
“Nooo...” Kera slumped to the floor, the cool of the tiles battering her senses as much as the hot tears, and she rocked back and forth against the door. The sobs quieted, spent of emotion, her body and mind welcomed the numbness gradually invading. “I’m not going to stay here. I can’t.” Not now, she couldn’t.
She would finish her short-term placement and consider a transfer to anywhere else. She would take a position somewhere safe, where she could rebuild her life far away from Gustav. She clambered to her feet, struggling as if old and brittle.
With a groan, Kera stripped off her clothes, moving slowly. As she clumsily stumbled through the echoing rooms, she thought about options. “I’ve got a job to do, and I’ll find the infiltrators and see them apprehended. Then I’m going to build a new life.” The words didn’t help though; instead, she welcomed the cold emptiness filling her chest. Kera didn’t want to experience the hurt, anguish, and betrayal so she embraced that empty feeling.
She pulled her exercise clothing over her body before retreating to the lounge. Grabbing the holographic glasses from the small table, Kera fitted them on while reaching for the matching holographic laser sword—which snapped to life in her hand. She would work off the aftermath of her meltdown in front of Gustav in a hot, sweaty fight session.
The unit winked to life, placing her in the training center, and Kera prepared herself. Rolling her shoulders, loosening the muscles of her legs, she watched as the holographic attacker came at her swiftly. She sidestepped the telegraphed blow. Her opponent launched at her, and Kera felt the zing, generated through the unit, sing in her arm as sword met sword. Sparks flew as they touched, and she grunted.
Again and again she met the resistance from the opponent, and she relished the burn in her muscles. He came at her again, swords locking onto each other, and with a tremendous heave, Kera sent him flying backward onto the safety mats. Rolling her shoulders, loosening the tense muscles, she waited. The opponent stood, a grimace on his features.
A communicator buzzed and Kera gave a short command. The hologram stilled as she ripped the goggles from her head. Snatching up her communicator, she tossed the holographic sword on the chair.
“Aarens. Go ahead.”
“Transmission received. We’re working on pinpointing the location.” Commander El Jarad’s voice filled the air, and she smiled. The holographic scene be damned. She had a better way to work off her anger and frustration. A real opponent.
“Keep running the scans. I’m on my way.” She turned long enough to snatch up the black laser sword she preferred for close combat,
together with the laser pistol. She pulled her ID lanyard around her neck before slipping through the door. Kera paused long enough to ensure it locked and then set off at a lope along the darkened passages of specially toughened plas-glass toward the security offices.
Looking out through the plas-glass she saw the twinkling of stars even as the bulk of smaller asteroids crowded around the artificial atmosphere dome. She’d read the dome had been erected when Admiralty had relocated to Aenna.
Her footsteps were silent as she neared the security station. Kera slid her ID over the unit, and once the door slid open, she entered the office. A sense of calm reigned throughout the rooms as she moved toward El Jarad’s door.
“What have you got for me?” she asked.
The muted colors of his monitor highlighted his alien features. His gray tentacles quivering, his green fingers plying his estrad keyboard fitted for his numerous, gnarled digits. She was thankful the Admiralty had mandated that everyone speak the Earth Basic language.
“Incoming transmission received at 2100 hours. Encoded to Alpha-two-four-four.” He scowled, and his gray-green eyes followed the scrolling information that glowed before him.
Kera pulled a seat over next to him, easing down and watching the screen. “Okay, can you pinpoint the receiver?”
“Yeah, the general laborers’ quarters. Somewhere in the middle.”
“Barsha! You can’t get a better reading that that?” She eyed him, and he stopped what he was doing.
“Commander, there is only so much this technology can do. If we had a working STAD, we might be able to get a closer reading.”
“I’ve been out of this for a while. STAD is what?”
“Standard Tracking Audible Device. We’ve been working on the next generation for the last couple of months, but we’re not sure it’s quite ready to deploy.”
“I’ve heard of them.” Kera frowned. “Hang on, you have one here?” She peered at the Estvanian before narrowing her eyes.
“Actually, we have two. Both are prototypes of their generation. Why?”
“Because I think this would be an excellent time to trial them. What’s their range?” Kera pulled out her palm unit, bringing up the schematics of the building as El Jarad watched her.
“What?” His eyes widened with surprise, and she huffed in frustration.
“When we have an advantage, we have to use it. Now, the range?” She tapped her foot on the floor.
He turned back to his unit, and she watched as he slowly entered a search string, and then turned back. “If we place the units here and here,” he said, pointing to two central points, “we should get enough coverage.”
Kera nodded. “Fine. You know who to ask, so get those decoders in place, and I mean tonight. Make sure no one is aware of your people installing them. Oh, and add me to the list of data streams straightaway.”
She stood abruptly, turning away from the Estvanian, and strode out of the room, heading for her office. Thoughts lurched around in her head as she plotted and planned.
Entering her office, Kera slammed the door shut. “If I have El Jarad cobble the system together, thereby avoiding use of any comp-techs, we can bypass any possible data-stream tapping. If I can keep working this, keep a lid on the information and employ a secondary team, running bogus investigations, I might be able to deflect them.” She murmured the words to herself, pleased with the plans she made.
* * * *
The coffee hit her system, dark, rich, and potent. Kera inhaled the scent as she scrolled through the reports on her desk screen. Weariness dragging at her senses, eyes blurring every now and again as she sipped the brew. A yawn escaped, and her head dipped once more.
Her tiny personal communicator buzzed, and she glanced down. Him. Again. Ignoring the admiral doesn’t make him go away. More the pity. I’ll answer his hails soon. “Not yet though.” She let the words whisper into the silence of her office. How did he even get this communication address? Kera pushed the thought away. If Gustav truly needed help, he’d use her Admiralty issued communicator.
Since the transmission hours ago, she hadn’t rested. Time was of the essence. Three hours on the lumpy couch in the office with a handscreen didn’t constitute as downtime. Her back still twanged a little as a result, and she needed to change. Sitting in the smelly exercise clothes she’d worn when answering the hail the night before was unpleasant. Kera wrinkled her nose. Maybe if she headed back to her apartment, showered, changed, and grabbed something to eat she would feel better.
At the thought of food her stomach rumbled, and she checked the chrono on her battered desk. 0800 hours! Kera scowled at the monitor as she logged out and stood up. She twisted and stretched before checking her laser sword and pistol were secure at her waist. Collecting the communicator, she moved slowly down the corridor and out of the security offices.
The early shift crews filled the walkway, making their way toward checkpoints. Kera squeezed between the bodies, catching some interested glances and feeling self-conscious in the slim-fitting clothing. She kept moving toward the building looming ahead.
The door to her apartment in sight, she closed her eyes, and a wave of vertigo washed over her, her stomach churning with hunger and exhaustion. Kera swiped her hand over the plate. The door slid open, and she stepped in. She looked up to see the admiral waiting in her living area.
Nooo! The protest screamed in her head, but she was a commander and he was her superior, so she squared her shoulders and met his gaze. “Admiral? Is there something I can help you with?” She congratulated herself for being smooth, efficient, and professional.
“Kera. I heard about the transmission. Is there something—”
“No, Admiral. The situation is under control. I will contact your office to arrange a meeting later today so I can brief you. However, I need to change, so if you don’t mind...” She glared at him and noted he had the grace to blush and appear uncomfortable. Something twigged in her mind. “Where is your security detail, Admiral?”
His mouth quirked. “Well, since I’m only here in the quarters—”
“Admiral, I know you’ve been instructed to make full use of the security detail until this problem is neutralized.” She cut him off. “Now, I will contact them and have them escort you to your office immediately.” She moved her hand toward her communicator. He stepped forward, surprising her.
“Please, Kera, just give me a minute to explain.”
She shook her head. She wasn’t ready to listen to his excuses. Not right now while she felt raw. “I need to change and get back. There are so many—”
“You can escort me.” His words were quiet.
“Excuse me?” What? Her, escort him? Let him wait, while she showered and dressed? “I don’t—”
“It’s the perfect solution.”
His words had her shaking her head slightly. She wanted to argue, but the knowledge he spoke sensibly ended her argument.
“Fine. Wait here. I won’t be long.” Her stomach chose that time to gurgle with hunger, and she rolled her eyes as her body conspired against her. “Barsha! Have you eaten? Because I’ve been in the office since 2300 hours and I’m hungry. Can you order breakfast while I dress? That way we can get out of here quickly.”
Without giving him a chance to answer, she turned away and strode toward the bedroom. Kera muttered under her breath while her pulse quickened at his proximity.
She closed the door and leaned into it, the reassurance of the metal cooling her slightly fevered skin. She could strip down now and walk out to him and safely be assured he would accept what she offered. Her blood pulsed in her veins, the thought arousing her.
She shook her head. Not the right time, and definitely not the right man, she reminded herself. That didn’t stop the wanting though. Pushing away from the door with both hands, Kera headed for the bathroom.
A quick shower and change of clothes would improve her state of mind. Such a shame she couldn’t give in to her urges, she told he
rself.
* * * *
Gustav sat down, jiggled his feet a little, then stood back up. He cast his gaze around the empty apartment. No pictures or personal items filled the space. Funny, she’d always decorated with photos and bookpads on the Ishtar.
He touched his communicator and ordered their breakfast, instructing it be delivered to the apartment. He imagined Kera beyond the door, peeling the skin-tight exercise pants and top off. The first flush of arousal crept through his system, tightening his body and causing his heart to thud double time.
“Don’t be an idiot. She made her thoughts clear last night. She doesn’t want you anymore.” Hearing the words aloud didn’t help him. I still want her.
Closing his eyes, his imagination took another giant leap as thoughts of skin, bared for his touch, rose behind his closed lids. He swallowed hard as the sound of water running met his ears. He pictured her in his mind: long limbs climbing under the water, her supple hands gliding over every inch of bare skin, soapy bubbles caressing her naked length. His arousal, confined within his pants, jerked at his thoughts, and he breathed heavily.
“Don’t think about her.” Gustav tried to banish the image of Kera’s naked body from his mind. But the sounds continued to emanate from beyond the door, and a thin trickle of sweat snaked down the back of his suit, itchy on his burning skin.
Gustav stepped as far away from the door as possible, not wanting to listen to the arousing sounds from beyond. He moved with an uncoordinated gait, and he wiped away the sweat dotting his upper lip, while blood rushed through his veins. His heartbeat accelerated even as he damned himself for being foolish.
The water turned off with a reverberating hiss, followed by the clunk of the water hammer. He forced his mind to concentrate on the situation with the infiltrator and not on the towel currently sliding over Kera’s naked form. She will find them, he reminded himself.