I let out a soft sigh and I just can't think. I don't want to think any more about him being with any other woman. I want to be with him. I want to be the woman he comes back to, and not be a one-night stand. But how do I truly know he can do that? Can I trust that he would stay true to me? I haven't known him long at all. We've never even been on a date. "But you barely know me Ben and I barely know you."
He nods slowly understanding. "What do you want to know?" He asks me.
What do I want to know? I want to know everything, but where to start. It's like one of those things when you walk into a music store and you want to pick up some new music, but your mind goes blank on what band you wanted to look for. I just stare at him for a moment. Ben chimes in, "Why are you still a virgin? How did I manage to find most likely what is to be the last and final one in the city?"
Ha. He would have to bring this up. I shake my nerves and start to talk. "He was a couple grades above me. He gave me my first kiss, but then quickly tried to grope me and I wasn't ready. So when I told him "no" he didn't stop. He kept trying to force himself on top of me, by shifting his body across the bench seat of his pick-up truck and pinning me. My shoulders and head up against the cold glass window and his hands were running up my thighs to my breasts. I decided it was now or never and I swiftly brought my leg up just enough to nail him right in his sack." Ben winced at this part of my flash back.
"He coiled back, called me a "fucking bitch" and a "tease." I took the opening and bolted out of the truck and he drove off…" A tear runs down my cheek. I never spoke about this with anyone, but I feel like I can tell Ben anything. If all else fails at least I can say I opened myself up to him.
Ben wipes my tear and wraps an arm around my waist. "You don't have to tell me anymore if it hurts Tess. I understand."
Needing to finish my story not only for Ben but for myself, I go on. "No. I need to tell you everything…He abandoned me in the parking lot at a local park, at night, leaving me to walk five miles home. After that night I didn't go out on any dates. I stayed home on weekends, cranking my tunes and painting."
Ben gently kisses me on my forehead, "Thank you for telling me this. I am sorry you had to go through something like that."
I huff, if he only knew half of what I've been through…
"So, what about you Mr. Man Whore? Why all the women?" I ask. Hey if we're being honest here.
Rolling his eyes at my name calling, he starts in. "Well after being in a serious relationship for far too long with the wrong person, I may have taken the rebound phase a little too serious and kept rebounding."
"Sounds more like re-mounting" I say with a snicker. Yep too much alcohol for Tess…
Before I can say anything he continues. "I am not asking to sleep with you tonight. I am only asking that you become mine."
What the hell does that mean? "Yours?"
"Mine. I want to know that you won't go on any dates with any men. That you won't give yourself to them. I want that. I want to be worthy of being your first."
Oh.
I huff out, "You're not the one who needs to worry about that. You're the man-slut who can take home a different girl, every night or two a night." OK, that may have sounded harsh, but seriously, does he really think he has that right to ask me not to sleep with a guy? Considering I have NEVER slept with a guy?
At this point we are facing one another completely. No distance between our bodies. "I know I don't have a right to ask this of you, but I promise the same to you. I will not sleep with anyone. I will not take a woman on a date."
OK, that makes me feel slightly better. "What do you want to do then?" I ask.
"I want to take this as slow as you need to. I want you to trust me." He looks desperate. Why does this mean so much to him?
"Why though? You can go out and sleep with any woman. Who's to say I'm going to sleep with you? What if I said I was saving myself for marriage?" I test him.
His mouth pops open and he takes a moment to think about it… yeah I thought so, I'm not sounding so great, now, am I? Not if I'm talking about marriage and waiting to have sex…
"Uh huh! See!" I screech out. "There's no way you could wait that long!"
He grabs the sides of my face with his hands. "I would wait for you." He is serious. I can tell. Wow.
"Just so you know, I'm not waiting till I get married." I confess.
He gives me that killer sexy grin and says, "I don't want to say that I am relieved, but on some level I am, because I don't have a ring to give you right now." What?
I snort. "Whatever."
"I meant what I said. You would be worth the wait." He kisses me softly.
As we begin to kiss lightly I pull away slightly, I look into his eyes and I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks before I even say the words. "I'm not against other things in the meantime."
A low growl to which I have become accustomed returns from deep inside his throat. He pushes his forehead into the crook of my neck and shoulder. "You're going to kill me, you know that? Keep saying things like that and I will take you to your bed."
I take his hand and lead him to my queen-sized bed. Looking up into his warm eyes, I grab the hem of his shirt and pull it up over his head. I run my hands over his lean toned abs, but he grabs them and brings them up to his mouth and kisses my knuckles lightly.
"We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with. What is the most you have done?" he asks, but it doesn't offend me, which shocks me.
I shrug and look at our feet. "Nothing."
He lifts my chin with his hand and looks at me for a long moment. In his smooth-as-silk accent, he says, "Then I want to be the one to make you come first."
He takes my mouth with his passionately, exploring every nook of my mouth, and I can feel my knees shaking. No man has ever touched me. Anywhere. He runs his hands down my shoulders, my ribs, and rests them on my hips. He reaches around to my backside and I can feel him getting hard again. He's kissing my neck, down to the dip in my throat. I am holding onto his biceps for dear life. I feel like I am going to collapse at any moment. As if he can read my mind, he backs me up to the edge of my bed and lowers me slowly. I am on my back when he stands up and looks over my body. I have never felt so exposed.
I nod, knowing he's asking permission with his eyes to remove my fitted pants. He leans between my legs, I lift my hips, allowing him to slip his fingers beneath the waistband and pull them down over my backside, down to my knees, and off my body. He gasps when he sees my baby blue lace panties. He adjusts himself from the outside of his jeans. He looks almost uncomfortable. I sit up quickly and I startle him by the look on his face. I reach for the button of his jeans. He eyes me wearily, and stops me. He steps back, undoes the button, and slowly lowers the zipper. He's wearing black fitted boxer briefs and I can see his erection much more clearly now.
Wow.
Ben leans down and slowly raises the bottom of my black tee up over my belly and my small chest, up over my head. I didn't even realize that I didn't have a bra on…oops.
He lays me back on to my bed, tracing soft kisses from neck, down to my heaving chest. No one has been this close to me. The next thing I know he has my right nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive mound. A moan escapes me and I bite my lip to prevent another one to come out.
"Don't hide from me, baby. I want to hear you. I want to know that I am the one pleasing you. The first one." And so I do. I let out another soft moan as he makes his way to the left. I plunge my hands into his dark hair and pull. With that he groans and pushes his concealed length against the soft tissue at the apex of my thighs. Holy crap, this is amazing. I can't even imagine how good it's going to feel when he's actually inside of me.
I tease him back and raise my hips to meet his. He bites down a little on my nipple and I almost scream.
"Oh, not yet baby. I'm not going to make you come like this…well, not tonight." He talks in a breathy tone. I can feel myself getting wetter
and wetter. He reaches down to my panties and slips them off in one swift motion. I am completely bare before him now. He lowers his body to my bed, kissing a trail from my belly button to my hips, where he gives me a little nip and I let out a small giggle.
"Ticklish, are we?" His grin is sly.
He continues his journey down my body. To my knee, then down my calf. Thank god I shaved my legs this morning. To my ankle, and he licks my instep of my foot. He then repeats this trail back up the right leg before stopping at the core of my lower body. He flashes me a little grin and bows down to lick the slick flesh of my folds.
Oh. Oh my.
"You taste so sweet. And you're so wet for me. I want you to come for me, so relax, because I am going to take care of you." And with those last few words I fall for him. Because I know that when he says that he's going to take care of me, he means more than just pleasuring me.
He goes slowly at first, circling and circling. I am involuntarily moving my hips to his tongue. It's as if I have no control over my own body. As my panting becomes more rampant, he starts to suck on my clit. I begin to tense up and my body starts to shake. I can feel the build, and then he nips at me, and that's all it takes. I come around his face. My body is shattering and I don't want this to end.
"That's my girl." He begins to slow his pace, letting me come down.
I am his.
I didn't see Ben for the next couple of days. But he texted me often and called at night. He's been really busy at work; apparently he's really working on this huge piece for the magazine. Which is all right with me, because Dave asked me to cover for him tonight at the coffee shop, which means I'm pulling a double shift. I can use all the extra cash I can get. The late-night customers like to tip big. I think they like to show off to their dates proving they have money. I'm not complaining.
It's almost eleven o'clock and I'm wiping the counters down and re-stocking the mugs for the morning shift, about to close, when I get a text from Ben: So where is it that you work anyways?
I tell him, and he replies: OK, well, have a good night. Call me in the morning x. Oh, I'll have a good night thinking about him, and what we did the other night, and all the things I hope to do to him in the very near future.
Almost instantly after, my phone rings, I look at the caller ID; it's Erin.
"Where have you been? It's like you dropped off the grid or something!" She sounds exasperated.
"I am sorry. I have been...occupied." I can feel my cheeks go pink instantly.
"OH? What could be more important than calling your new best friend, huh?" She's trying to sound wounded, but instead I can hear the intrigue in her voice.
"Uh, yeah…I have been working and I went to this show with my brother…and got together with Ben..." I trail off.
"BEN? I knew it!" She is screaming at me, actually screaming, right now.
I'm rubbing my forehead with the left hand, just taking it all in. "Why didn't you call me? Text me? Anything!"
"I am so sorry, but I am trying to comprehend all of this myself."
She grumbles. "Meet me at Chatz in ten minutes. I know where you work and I will come kidnap you if I have to!"
Fifteen minutes later, I spot Erin in the far corner, where there is a grouping of deep purple sofas facing one another. She is chatting it up with a beefy blond guy in a three-piece suit; he obviously just left work himself. She looks up and greets me with a hug.
Erin introduces me to the beefcake. "Mark is an ad exec at Pillars Advertising." She spews lust as she says the words.
"Impressive." I try to sound intrigued, but I honestly don't give a shit. I am tired and cranky from a long day and night at work. But I will stay for one drink and make my way home.
When I reach the bar I see a small dark nook at the end. There's a blonde woman looking quite comfy on a man's lap. They aren't kissing, but she is obviously trying to nuzzle the man's neck. As I reach for my drink, they stand. And my heart sinks. The leggy blonde is leading Ben towards the door. My way.
Fuck! What the hell do I do? Confront the man who I was intimate with just over forty-eight hours ago? Or do I hide like a shamed little girl? I take a large chug from my drink, which sparks a howl from the bartender, obviously impressed. And that brought some looks my way. Well, if I had a chance of backing down before, I definitely don't now. Shit.
I stiffen my back and face the oncoming pair, face first. And the look on his face is fucking priceless.
"Tess!" he gasps.
Son of a bitch. "Ben."
"Um, what are you doing here? Didn't you just get off work? I figured you'd be home by now." He sounds nervous, as he should be.
Not that it's any of his business, but: "Erin called me after you texted me and begged me to come tonight."
He looks into the lounge and nods when he spots Erin. She is still talking up the beefcake. He looks back at the leggy blonde, who has her slutty hand holding his arm. "This is Nicole."
He looks me dead in the eyes like he's trying to tell me something, but I must be missing something, that or the rum I just downed is killing my brain's cells at record pace. He's never spoken about a girl by name before so I am not getting this little message he's trying to send me.
"Hi." I say, trying not to give her the look of death. I don't know why I am so angry. It's not like he's mine. But then again he asked me to be his…yeah, which number on the list? Then I am brought back to our conversation the other night, how he wants me to trust him. Well, buddy, you have a fat chance in hell of that happening now. And that hurts me. It hurts real bad. I was beginning to trust him.
"Would you mind giving me a minute?" he asks the bimbo.
She nods, and tries to kiss him, but he turns his face away avoiding her cotton candy glittery lips. She looks pissed and not so much at him, but me, because as soon as he dodged her glossy pucker she eyes me and looks back to Ben. "Yeah, whatever. Don't take too long."
Then she's off toward the restroom.
"What the fuck?" I spurt out before he can speak. He has to know I am pissed and that he better protect those family jewels, because they are about to meet the top of my kneecap.
He reaches out to touch my cheek, and this time I dodge him. "I can explain," he pleads. Yeah, I have heard that so many times in so many movies. He's about to tell me that she's the love of his life that got away and has suddenly returned, and his heart has been and will always be with her. OK, maybe I shouldn't watch so many movies or the CW...
"Then explain."
He shifts on his feet. "Not here. Will you come back to my place with me?" Now, that I did not expect to come out of his sexy mouth.
"What about 'Nicole'?" I mimic his light English accent. Yep, too much rum, too fast.
He steps closer. "What about her?"
As I am about to talk he takes a small sidestep to get the attention of the bartender. "You're just going to leave without a word?" I wait. Why am I being thoughtful of the skeez?
He leans in over the bar to tell the bartender something, so I wait.
"I left a message for her with Ron there," he says, while grabbing my elbow and leading me toward the doors. Shit! Erin!
"Hold on! I have to tell Erin that I am leaving or she'll worry."
He looks back at where Erin is sitting "I don't think so." He says and shoots his chin in her direction. I look over and she's practically straddling the beefcake.
"OK" I say, and he leads me out of the bar.
When we get outside, I whip out my cell and text Erin a quick message: Something came up have to go, I'll call you in the morning. Ben leads me to the back parking lot of Chatz. Which car is his?
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
"Of course you drive a motorcycle," I say.
He grins, and my insides melt. NO! You cannot make me fall apart like this! Not after what I saw you and that bimbo were doing in that dark corner! He hands me a helmet. Oh, here we go, what am I getting myself into? I take it from his hands and our fingertips
touch and I can feel that spark of intensity. Still trying to be angry, I take the helmet from his hand a little too hard and accidentally kinda throw it to the ground. Yeah, that's the way to look tough Tess…
Laughing, he bends down to pick up the helmet, and yes, I'll admit I checked out his ass. What's wrong with me? Fucking rum. This time, instead of handing me the helmet, he places it on my head gently. He throws one on his head next and throws down the visor, swings his right leg over the black seat, holds out one arm. "Get on," he demands, with a little force.
I roll my eyes and get on the bike behind him. I have never been on a bike before. I am nervous and yet excited to have to sit so close to him. I try to resist and sit as far back as I can. I lightly hold his ribs. When he kicks on the machine, the vibrations make me all tingly between my legs and I am not complaining! He reaches down with both hands grips the back of my knees and pulls me in closer behind him. That, mixed with the shaking between my thighs, makes me think I might come right then and there.
"That's better." He kicks into gear and soon we are speeding through the lighted city. I can feel my nails digging into his chest, but that doesn't seem to slow his speed; hell, I'd say it's probably turning him on. Soon, we're in a parking garage, and he's
leading me to an elevator. He presses the top floor button: 'PH' for penthouse. Of course he lives in the penthouse.
A moment later we're inside.
Whoa. For a dude's place this is pretty damn nice. Much, MUCH, nicer than my tiny studio. We walk in through the small foyer to an open floor plan studio suite. Tall ceilings and a wall of windows, overlooking the Seattle skyline. His walls are all different colors: white, deep red, and a single black wall holding a collection of guitars and basses.
He offers me a drink. I decline. He shrugs and gets a beer. I'm impatient.
"So you wanted to explain. Explain." I gesture with my hand to urge him on.
He looks ashamed. "I know it's not a good excuse, but I was pretty buzzed and kinda-sorta horny from our texts all day and I was having a hard time shoving her off."
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