Lowering over me, he kisses me softly and I can feel him start to part my folds with his tip. Without thinking I instinctively raise my hips to meet his and his breath shakes when his tip slips into my moist flesh. Ooh. This is different.
"Slow, baby," he pleads. He slowly enters me. Filling me as slowly as possible, giving me a chance to adapt to his size. It pinches and stings for a short time, but it feels good. So good and so right. He never breaks eye contact with me. It's like he's trying to say something with his eyes, but I can't make it out. I start to become comfortable and I begin to move with him, in and out. Nice and slow. Raising and lowering my hips. I catch his eyes roll to the back of his head when I circle my hips, playing around with how it all feels.
"God, you're so tight," he groans. He begins to move a little faster. I can feel myself start to build. The depths of my belly and my core tremble and clench. I know I am close.
He growls. "Tess! Fuuu..." and with that I come. Hard, all around him. I feel my knees tighten around his hips.
I throw my head back. "Ben!" With that, he thrusts into me hard and his body ripples with his own release.
He stays inside of me for a few moments and we just stare at one another, me in amazement and awe, him I hope the same. He leans down and gives me the most gentle of kisses and slowly pulls out. I wince a little in discomfort.
"How was that?" I can't tell if he's being cocky or sincere.
All I can conjure up is a very, VERY satisfied sigh. He kisses my mouth and chuckles.
I wake up with the sun flooding the room with light. And the heat of Ben's long lean hot body coiled up into mine. Nine a.m. I have the perfect view of the fine tattoo work running from his chest and shoulder, down his arm. The black and gray work is crazy and the largest image looks like a stone angel, with the same black and gray work roses and smoke swirls. I can't help but trace the lines of his tattoos, and he stirs awake.
"Good morning, beautiful." His voice is sexy and sleepy.
Yum.
I give him a half smile. "Good morning yourself." I nudge my hips to his growing arousal.
Ben shrugs. "What? It's the morning and I have you in my bed. What would you expect?"
"An excuse to get me out the door, honestly," I admit.
"I told you. I am not letting you go."
I try to break the tension. "Well, how about letting me go, so I can get in a hot shower before you take me home?" I start to make my escape but feel his strong arms reach around my waist and pull me back down. All I can do is giggle.
"I like that sound," he says, nuzzling into my ear, sending shivers down my spine as I head for the shower. Ben, quickly at my heels, turns on the water and steam fills the all-white marble bathroom. We step in.
I still don't get it. I just don't know what he sees in me and I don't know if I ever will. I will just have to wait for him to get bored and to move on to the next girl that catches his eye. He will sleep with someone else while he's still with me. That's what men do, right? They say they are there for you and the next, they're gone. Or they don't get what they want, and with that thought, I shiver and my stomach churns. There is nothing I can do about Ben's past or his future endeavors, but I know I won't be his last.
"Hey." He breaks my depressing thoughts. "Where did you go?"
I just shrug and move my body into his. He squeezes silky body wash onto a loofa and starts to wash my back. Oh, this is heavenly. He massages my neck, and shoulders, and works his way down my back. And lower. He slips his fingers between my folds and rubs my mound, slowly, softly and he gradually begins to pick up pace. He slips one finger inside of me. I start to move my hips; this man makes me lose all control over my body. He can have it, it's his, and if he can do this to me in a few movements, my body is his for the taking.
I boldly reach back and grasp his rock-hard length god I love how I have this effect on him… A groan escapes him and his pace quickens, and so does mine. This is so animalistic, pleasing one another without even looking at each other. With his other hand, he reaches up to my breasts and rolls my nipple with his thumb and forefinger. I whimper under his touch, and he removed his fingers from inside me and presses down on my back, making me lose my grasp on him. He bends me over.
"Hands on the wall," he urges me, and I do what I am told. Holy hell, this is hot. "Hold on a second. Don't move," and he's out of the shower. He's back in a few moments, wearing a condom. I bite my lip in anticipation.
"This is going to be deeper this time," he tells me. Not knowing what to say or think, I nod. And then he thrusts hard and fast into me. Oh. My. God! I let out a scream, but not in pain but pure pleasure.
"Let it out, baby, I want to hear you. Don't hold back." He sounds demanding. So I let go, moaning and screaming with each thrust. His moans get deeper as he gets faster.
"Tess…fuck," he growls, and as he does, I let go. I scream his name and as my body convulses in his shower. The steam and the smell of him, the sound of him saying my name, just sends me through the roof.
After we start to come down, he turns me around and looks me in the eyes. He is breathing heavy and sporadically, just like me.
"I have never felt like this before. There is something you do to me, Tess. I can't get enough…obviously." He presses his forehead to mine and rests his eyes shut for a short moment.
I smile like a schoolgirl, and tip my head up and kiss him. He then steps out of the shower and grabs a large towel off the rack and wraps it around me as I step out.
"Thank you," I say with a smile. And not just for the towel.
While dressing, which by the way he had my clothes dry cleaned at some point since last night. I decide to ask him a question that's been on my mind.
"I was peeking at your amazing tattoo work this morning while you were sleeping," I begin.
"Which, by the way, I see that you have none," he says. This is true. I have wanted to get a tattoo since I was eighteen.
"I want one. I just want it to mean something."
"I think you'd look pretty hot with some ink."
"One day. So what's the meaning of yours?" I ask.
He is fetching a pair of his glorious fitted boxer briefs, when he stops and looks at his shoulder. I catch a soft warm smile crossing his face.
"It's for my mum," he answers.
I walk over to him and place my hands gently on his chest, running my fingertips over the stone angel. "I think it is beautiful." I kiss his chest and I can feel him take in a deep breath of air.
"Thank you. She was an amazing woman."
"Come to dinner with me to my family's house tonight?" he asks me. Whoa, meeting the family? I don't think so.
"What?" I need to hear this again.
He drops his eyes to his shoes, puts his hands in his pockets and looks up through his lashes. "Come meet my family tonight."
I slowly shake my head. "Not yet." I say honestly. I don't want to hurt his feelings, even though he is opening up little by little, but I am not ready to do whatever it is we are doing in front of his family. I don't even know what we are yet.
"Why not?" he asks, slightly wounded.
"How would you even introduce me?"
"As mine," he says oh, so simply.
"Yours? Your what?" I'm getting a little irritated. "Look, don't worry about it, Ben. It's so soon yet for me to be introduced to your family. It doesn't feel right yet. I am sorry, but I am just not ready."
He sucks in a deep breath. "Are you seeing someone else? Is that why?"
Whoa! Where the hell did that come from? Now I am a little more than irritated. "First" I start. "I am not seeing anyone, nor have I seen anyone in the concept of dating or being someone's girlfriend, well, pretty much ever. Second, Ben, get over your shit! You have 'dated' so many women that I am sure I would want to puke if I heard the number. So let's not get all pissy with me, because you THINK I am seeing someone else." Boosh! Take that!
He grabs his keys and two helmets, opens the front door, and I gr
ab my bag and rush past him. Not waiting for him at the elevator, I jump in and press the ground button. The doors begin to close, and Ben runs to catch it, but he's too late and I go down. His face was filled with worry and some anger, maybe even a little shock too…pfft. Probably never had a woman run away from him before.
I reach the lobby and practically run past the doorman, not allowing him to finish his "have a good day miss" spiel. Thank God it's a sunny day and not too cold. I manage about three blocks toward home in my heels when I hear the roar of a motorcycle zooming up the strip. The next thing I know, the tires of his Ducati screech to a halt just feet behind me next to the curb. He grabs my elbow and leads me into the Starbucks that we happen to be next to.
"What are you doing, Ben?" I could probably scream and have the cops here in the matter of minutes, but I think I need to get this off of my chest, because I know that if I don't now then I might never know. I won't cause a scene, but not because of him, but because
I don't feel like having any more sympathy from strangers. God knows I had plenty of that a couple of years ago...
"What do you want, Ben?" I continue. "Typically you fuck girls and tell them to get lost and then we do it and I leave before you can tell me to get the hell out and you panic?"
"I know, I know." He slumps into an empty chair and I sit next to him.
He turns his body and continues, "I am just as confused as you are, if not more. It wasn't right of me to accuse you of seeing someone else, I am sorry for that. But I have my reasons."
Oh really? "I'm listening." I urge him on with the roll of my hand.
"I was engaged once."
Oh.
He sucks in a deep breath of air. "We dated in high school. We went to the same college freshman year. We didn't want to separate, so we decided to apply at all the same schools. I proposed to her at the end of our junior year. We were engaged to be married."
Not what I was expecting to hear. "And…?"
He scrunches his face. "And…I caught her with our Western Civ professor. I was going to his office to talk about an upcoming exam. When I knocked there was no answer, the door was unlocked so I went in. I caught them right on his desk."
"Oh, I am so sorry…well, kind of." If he's looking for honesty, well, here it is.
He laughs lightly, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, I know. Better I had found out before the wedding, right?" he asks.
"Honestly, Ben," I say, and pause for a second trying to scan through what I am about to say for something wrong, but I have no filter right now. "I am glad it didn't work out with her, because I never would have had a chance with you. But I am not her. I am nothing like her. So don't ever EVER accuse me of being something or someone I'm not."
"I know." He grabs my hand and invites me to sit on his lap. I ease into the rich green velvety chair he's occupying, ignoring any stares we may be getting. I don't care.
"So, is that why you never dated or held a serious relationship? You were afraid of getting hurt again, weren't you?" I ask as softly as I can.
He nuzzles my neck and I can feel him breathe in my hair. Taking my breath away from me, making me feel something I have never felt before and it's not just the lust I feel for him, but something more.
"I think so. I think that's why I haven't ever attached myself to anyone before. Do you know what it's like to lose all faith in one group of people? I think I lost my trust in all women, until I met you. That scares the shit out of me, Tess. I don't want to be hurt that way again. I gave my whole being to Nicole and she tossed it aside like a scratched CD."
And I do know exactly what he means and how he feels. I had no faith or trust in any straight man other than my brother.
I nod and caress the sides of his face with my hands, and look him in the eyes. "I do."
Hearing her name rings a bell immediately. I remember the bimbo at Chatz. He never did explain who she was…he distracted me with his sexiness. "That was Nicole at Chatz last night, wasn't it?" I ask him.
He looks at me and nods slowly. "I guess I never did get to that point of the story that night, did I?"
I purse my lips. "No, you didn't. Instead you distracted me with your…well, you know."
"Yeah, sorry about that. It wasn't my intention to distract you from the situation. It's just that you make me forget all about that pain. You make life that much more bearable. You make it amazing."
I don't say anything for a moment. He softly rubs the small of my back. "Think we should order something before they kick us out for inappropriate touching?" He winks.
"Sure, I haven't come nearly close to my daily quota of caffeine intake." I giggle as he tickles my side. He takes my hand and leads me to the counter.
Leaning in, he asks, "What'll it be, Punky?"
I scrunch my face. "Punky?"
He gives me an ear-to-ear grin. "You heard me." I roll my eyes at the nickname. Damn Erin.
I speak in a low, sultry voice. "I'll take a tall, dark with a triple shot with caramel and whip cream on top." I end with a lick of my lips.
He closes his eyes. "Keep it up," he growls in my ear, "and I'll have you in a Starbucks restroom."
Oh my.
He then places his order: "I'll just have a venti black coffee."
He looks back at me. "I'm simple, unlike someone I know who has to list off twenty things just for a cup of coffee." He winks and bumps my shoulder.
"What can I say? I like what I like, and I am not afraid to get it." I tell him, and I know he knows what I mean.
We get our drinks and sit. "So tell me about your sister," I say. "You spoke very highly of her the other day."
His loving smile crosses his mouth. I like seeing him at ease and happy. "She goes to a private school here in the city, straight A's, and a little fashionista in training. She designs all of her clothes, never buys anything off the shelves. She has this sense of drive just like me and my father; that's how my mum was too. I like to look out for her and protect her. She calls me every other day to keep me in the loop. Now how many little sisters do you know that would confide so much in their big brother?"
"I do know what that's like. I am close to James.
I hope I meet Caroline one day."
He grunts and shifts his weight. "I invited you over today and you declined." Oh, right. Crap.
"Ben, I am sorry. It's just like you said about learning to trust someone. This is all new to me as well. I need to figure it all out." I feel like total shit now.
"What do you need to figure out? I am crazy about you. I am trying here. I am gaining faith and trust in you, in us."
I sigh. "I know. Please trust me?"
"OK." I know he means it just from the tone in his voice and the look in his eyes. This man cares for me, just as I do for him. We are both slightly broken and with enough faith we can mend our wounds together…once I can work up the courage to discuss my battle wounds.
He walks me up to my door and kisses me on the forehead. "I am going to call you tomorrow. No hiding."
He rushes me with a full-blown, knee-melting, mind-twirling, heat wave kiss. Then pulls away and smacks my butt playfully. "Bye, Punky" he says. Winks, and he's off.
I swoon.
When I get in, I notice that I didn't even unlock my door. What the hell? I remember locking it up, didn't I? Nothing is messed up. I take a look around. All of my electronics are here, TV, stereo, CD's and DVD's. Maybe I just forgot to lock up.
I text Erin, I need girl time. Wanna hang?"
"Hell's yeah! Let's go shopping!" Erin replies. Oh, it's been a while since I have gotten a new outfit.
She'll pick me up in twenty minutes. I change into some jeans, a gray thermal shirt with a cute royal blue scarf, and my black over-the-knee boots.
We decide to hit up the mall since it's raining now. Damn Seattle weather and its mood swings. At least at the mall, it's dry and warm.
"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Erin says.
I go into
all the details about going backstage, meeting the band, taking some photos, and then going back to his place.
"Did you?" she blurts out, causing a few passers-by to glance in our direction.
"Did I what?" I play innocent.
"Oh, you know what I mean, girl! Spill it! Like right now!"
I smile from ear to ear. "Yep," is all I say, and she screams loud enough to make the nearby people go deaf.
"How was it?" She bounces with excitement.
I sigh. "Really, really good."
All she says is "nice" and I willingly give her the juicy bits she was looking for, but she didn't have to ask. I trust Erin, which is a major thing for me.
We continue to talk about my sexcapades while skimming the racks for good deals. "When are you seeing him again?" she asks.
"I don't know. He invited me to his family's house for dinner tonight, but I told him no. I'm not ready for that yet."
She nods like she understands, and she probably does. "Well, in that case let's get you a smokin' dress, so when you do know you're going to see him again you'll knock him dead."
I pulled another double at the café today, before my evening art class. I'm kind of bummed that we are done with the human form lesson. Seeing as I won't be able to stare at Ben for an hour and a half…then again I don't want anyone else looking at him naked ever again.
Dave called in with the flu, so it's probably a good thing that I came early, that I beat him to the punch of asking me for the favor. The day goes by pretty quickly, even though I am constantly looking at my phone every chance I get to see if Ben tried calling or texted me. Nothing. Don't be that girl, Tess, don't be the girl who waits desperately for the guy to call, he said he'd call though…damn it! Knock it off! He'll call.
About an hour before my shift ends, with six cups of coffee in my system, he calls...finally.
"Hey baby, what are you doing?" He's casual.
I give him the bare facts.
He drops his voice. "Dave?"
"Gay."
His voice goes up a notch. "Good." Yeah, no worries, Benny boy, that boy very much so enjoys the cock, so I have heard…over and over.
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