“So, how’d that compare to that fantasy of yours?” Roni said between labored breaths. The combination of our sweat glistened on her body.
I didn’t even know how to begin to respond. “So much better,” I said. “You are my wildest fantasy.”
Chapter 23
Jesse
Now that Roni and I were finally on track to something real, I knew I had to go back to her father. He was all she had left, and, if I wanted an actual chance with her, I had to get through him. Something told me this would be one of the hardest conversations I’d ever have to have. Just the thirty seconds I spent talking to Jerry a few weeks earlier had been enough to send my head spinning. Hopefully he’d had time to reconsider the idea of Roni and me.
Getting Roni back in my good graces had been different, and I knew that. I’d known that she’d had feelings for me, and we’d once shared a deep love. Jerry, on the other hand, had never been my biggest fan. I couldn’t say I blamed him. In high school, Roni and I had loved deeply and passionately, but I had also completely walked all over her. I’d taken her for granted and gotten her in trouble from time to time. Any less-than-perfect thing Roni did in high school was all my fault.
We were four and a half years past it all, but I wasn’t sure if it was too late. I nervously tapped on the steering wheel as I drove the familiar route to Roni’s family home. My entire motivation was Roni. “I can’t believe you’d do that for me,” Roni had said when I brought up the idea of clearing the air with her father. “Dad should be home most of the day.”
On one level, I regretted bringing it up in the first place. It hadn’t been Roni’s idea, after all. On the other hand, I wanted a future with Roni, and that meant a future that included both of our families. My friends laughed whenever I talked about my dream of family reunions and big holiday get-togethers. I supposed long hair and tattoos didn’t normally mix with Mom’s Christmas dinner. It was what I wanted, though, and now was my chance.
There was no use in trying to distract myself with the radio. All I could do to pass the time was make up ridiculous questions Roni’s father might ask me and come up with equally ridiculous answers. I pulled in front of Roni’s house and put the car in park. There it was: Jerry’s truck in the driveway and my last out. You have to do this, I told myself.
Before I could change my mind, I walked swiftly up to the front door and knocked twice. There was no answer, no trace of movement. Maybe Roni’s dad wasn’t home after all. Maybe this conversation wasn’t meant to be.
“Jesse.” I spun around to see Jerry at the bottom of the stairs.
“Oh, uh, hi, Mr. Vance,” I said. “I thought you were inside.” I’d been there all of ten seconds and I already felt like an idiot.
Jerry shook his head. “I was just watering Patty’s flowers,” he said. “Or what’s left of them.”
“That’s great of you.” I spoke carefully, trying not to choose any words that could be misconstrued in any way. “I’m sure Patty would love it.”
“Patty’s dead. And Roni’s not here. You can try again later.”
I cleared my throat and wiped my sweaty palms against my jeans. “I actually came to speak with you,” I said.
“Me?”
“Yes, sir.”
Without so much as an acknowledgment, Roni’s dad led me inside and sat me down across from him in the living room. “Is my daughter pregnant?”
I laughed until I realized he wasn’t joking. “Pregnant? No! Not at all!”
“So, what do you want from me?”
“Mr. Vance, I really care about your daughter,” I started. “And I’d like to believe that she cares about me, too. I know things ended badly for us in high school, but things are going really well for us this time. I just thought we should talk before I continue to pursue a relationship with your daughter.”
Jerry sat there in silence and rubbed his forehead. I couldn’t tell if he was thinking, or stalling, or trying to make me nervous, or some combination of the three. “And if I don’t want you to?”
“Sir?”
“Pursue a relationship with Roni. Will you continue to see her?”
“With all due respect, I want you to approve of me and Roni, I really do.” I drew in a breath. “But we’re adults now.”
“Can I be honest with you?” Jerry asked
Against my better judgment, I said, “Yes.”
“My daughter is an incredible young woman. She was involved in school, got a full scholarship to a prestigious art program, and believes the best in everyone. That includes you. You really think a kind-hearted art teacher and bad boy tattoo artist belong together?”
“I think we do.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing—or could I? I’d underestimated how deep Jerry’s disapproval of me ran. I tried to think of something, anything that could convince Roni’s father how much I cared about her, but I came up empty. We sat there in deafening silence as I absorbed his insult.
“I’ll be straight with you, Parker,” Jerry said. “I think you’re the same punk you were in high school. You may have Roni fooled, and you may have some of this town fooled, but you don’t fool me.”
I tried to hold back the tears that I feared would make me look even weaker than I already felt. It wasn’t that I cared so much about what Roni’s father thought of me. It was that she did care. It would’ve been nice to have gotten his approval, yes, but I could look past it. I wasn’t sure if Roni could. I thought back to our conversation. Roni said that her father would warm up eventually and not to worry about it. Sitting here now, however, I had my doubts.
“Mr. Vance,” I found myself saying. Jerry’s eyes met mine. “I love your daughter. I know I made mistakes. I’m willing to admit that and take responsibility for them. I was careless in high school, but I’m not that guy anymore. I’ve worked hard for everything I have. I work fifty hour weeks some weeks. I have a house, I have no debt, and I respect my parents. Most importantly, I respect Roni. I hate that I hurt her once, but I don’t plan on doing it again. I hope someday you’ll be able to accept that.”
I couldn’t take another rejection from Roni’s father, so I stood up and walked out the front door without another word. I hoped he’d consider the sentiment I’d left him with, but I wasn’t holding my breath. I was taking this blow a lot harder than I expected, and a small part of me worried that Roni would begin to listen to her father about me. He was so convincing that he doubted my own worth and my own suitability for Roni.
I had to get a grip. I was worth Roni’s time. I was better than I’d ever been. Roni cared about me. I just needed to give her father more time to accept that we weren’t who we were in high school, and that I was the man Roni wanted to date. When I got back to my car, I found a long text message waiting for me from Roni. Good luck, babe. I know my dad can be stubborn. I’m sorry. Don’t stress about him, regardless of how things go. We’ll figure things out! Xoxo. Somehow, that only made things worse.
I was sure that my parents were beyond tired of hearing about Roni, but I didn’t care. They were some of the only people in the world who fully understood my past with Roni, and they were also amongst the select group of people who believed and acknowledged that I’d changed from who I used to be. I marched into their living room with such purpose that they immediately paused the movie they were watching and looked up at me.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” Mom said. Her big, blue eyes were full of concern.
“I went to see Jerry,” I said.
The look on my mom’s face was that of horror, while my dad was too busy cleaning his glasses and didn’t seem to be all that concerned by my predicament. “And how did that go? I know he’s never been all that fond of you.”
“About how you’d expect if your child’s convicted felon ex came over and asked for forgiveness.” I wanted to scream, to get out all of my anger and frustration and vent about how unfair Roni’s father was being. Instead, I drew in a deep breath and took a minute to think about what I
should say. “I didn’t go well, Mom. He basically said that I’m not good enough for Roni and that I haven’t changed at all.”
“And do you believe that?” Dad chimed in.
I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I know I’m not the person I used to be. The guy I was in high school wasn’t good enough for Roni. He wasn’t even good enough to avoid getting arrested. But that’s not who I am anymore.”
“How so?” I knew that Dad was using one of the tactics he often used in legal cases. That was good old Dad, bringing his work home with him.
“I have a steady job, I work hard, I bought a house. I served my time and I haven’t done so much as speed when driving since I got out of prison.” Both of my parents glared at me until I admitted that it was likely that I had, in fact sped at some point or another.
Mom stood up from the couch and wrapped me in a hug. “Sweetheart, sometimes these things just take time. You know we love Roni, and I’m sure that, soon enough, Jerry will feel the same way about you.”
“But Roni didn’t break my heart,” I said, knowing I wasn’t exactly helping my own case.
“People change, Jesse. You said it yourself. You’re not the same person you were in high school.”
Getting a strong feeling that this would be a longer conversation than I intended, I plopped down in the recliner across from the sofa my parents were sitting on. “Do you ever have people ask about my prison sentence? About how it feels to have a criminal as a son?”
“Sweetie, you’re not—” Mom started.
“Every week,” Dad interrupted, and I was suddenly appreciative of his honesty .
I looked right into his eyes. “What do you say when they ask?” I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to know the answer for myself, or as a way of better understanding Roni’s father. Most of my friends and family members had long since moved on from my brush with the law. Jerry was the only one who just couldn’t seem to let it go or see anything other than my criminal past.
“I tell them you were young and did a stupid thing, but that that doesn’t make you a bad person.” Dad stopped and thought for a minute. “I boast about how well you’re doing for yourself and tell them about your job and your house and your kindness. By the end of the conversation, those bozos are apologizing for having even insinuated that you were anything less than a success.”
I felt my composure falling apart by the second. My mother echoed my father’s sentiments, telling me that, despite my rocky start to adulthood, they were proud of me. They left me with a long speech about how I had to be patient and wait for Roni’s father to see what they saw in me. It was easier said than done, but it was all they could do for me for now.
The defeat I felt rushed through my body like a wave. The only person who could make me feel better right now was the woman whose father was the source of my upset. I texted Roni to see if she could meet me and was disappointed to get a reply that she was shopping with friends. I was glad that Roni was adapting back into life in Linfield. I just hoped that, even with her father’s disapproval, I would still be a part of that life.
Chapter 24
Roni
Cannoli cake was the way to any man’s heart, right? I pushed through the doors of Pritchett’s Bakery, disappointed to see that Kayla wasn’t behind the counter but enamored by the smell of delicious baked goods. Jesse had cooked for me, and I wanted to reciprocate somehow. Since my cooking skills weren’t exactly stellar, cannoli cake was the move.
I walked up to the counter and placed my order—a slice of cannoli cake for Jesse, and some German chocolate brownies for us to share. Never in my life had I so much as heard of German chocolate brownies, but our shared love of chocolate made me certain it would be a hit. I felt myself grinning, excited to bring that sexy man of mine a surprise sweet treat. I only had another hour to kill until his tattoo appointments were finished for the day.
My focus turned to a trio of old ladies sitting at one of the three small tables across from the counter, munching on cookies. There was something about them that struck me as odd. They stared at me as if I was a piece of art on display, looking me up and down without a slightest hint of subtlety. I supposed that was what happened as you got older. You started caring less about what people said or thought about you, because, after all, you’d be dead soon anyway.
“She’s back with that Jesse Parker boy,” one of the women whispered, loud enough for me to hear. “He’s slept with every woman in town between the ages of twenty and thirty.”
“I heard he has half a dozen love children,” another woman, the one with the whitest of hair, offered up.
“Wouldn’t surprise me,” the third said. Could they not tell that I was right here, listening to them talk trash about my boyfriend—or whatever he was? The only thing that kept me from going up to the women and causing a scene was my father. He cherished the Vance family reputation in this town more than I could ever understand. I didn’t want to do anything to tarnish that.
“Miss, here you go,” the man behind the counter said, handing me a meticulously-wrapped bakery box. I felt tears forming in the corners of my eyes, so I rushed out of the store without so much as another glimpse at the old women. I felt hurt, defeated, and, at the same time, not all that surprised. I’d known what kind of guy Jesse was, and I’d fallen for him anyway.
In a rush of anger, I took my twelve dollars’ worth of baked goods and chucked them into the trash can on the street corner. I couldn’t go see Jesse. Not today, and maybe not ever again. I walked up and down the street, trying my best to clear my head, but the whispers around me only made things worse. Had everyone in Linfield chosen today to talk badly about Jesse and our relationship? Or had I simply never listened until now?
Even in Missy’s Chocolates, as I shoveled a half-pound of my dad’s favorite chocolates into a clear candy bag, I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I heard whispers of Jesse’s names with other words, surely bad ones, that I couldn’t make out. I couldn’t deal with this. I couldn’t go down this road again. With tears stinging my eyes and hurt filling my heart, I called Kayla and begged her to meet me. In this small town, she was one of the only people I could count on for the truth.
As I walked back to my car, which was parked around the corner, I was so far spaced out that I nearly knocked a woman off the sidewalk. “I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching out to help her. I recognized the face. “Tina?”
“Roni Vance,” Tina said. “It’s been a long time.” I couldn’t tell from the connotation whether or not she was happy to see me. Tina and I had been in a lot of the same classes, never quite friends but always cordial. In the midst of my tirade, I was glad she was the one from high school I ran into. She seemed harmless enough. She was a bit of a rambler, but I could deal with that.
“How have you been?” I asked, desperate for an escape.
Tina smiled, but I could tell it was only out of politeness. “I’ve been good,” she said. “I’ve been working in human resources, and I got engaged back in the summer.”
“That’s amazing! Congratulations!”
“Thanks. Took a lot of wrong turns and one-night stands, but I finally found someone worth sticking around for.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Our town had maybe two thousand residents, so the thought of anyone being able to have a one night stand without the whole town finding out about it was completely laughable to me. “One night stand? In Linfield? With who?”
Tina winked. “You’d be surprised,” she said. “Remember Evan Petty from the grade above us?” She waited for a nod before continuing. “Hooked up with him a couple times. Tim Reilly. And, of course, Jesse Parker.”
I could feel the look of horror appear on my face as Jesse’s name rolled off her tongue. Had Tina really been dumb enough to say his name right to me? “Oh,” I mumbled, feeling weak in the knees.
“I’m sorry, Roni,” Tina said. “I forgot you two were a thing back in high school. Don’t worry. It was long after you guys broke up, so
metime last year.”
I mustered up the best smile I could and told Tina about my job at the middle school until it was clear that we were both burnt out on the conversation. I offered up a lame excuse, which was half-true, about having somewhere to be, and continued on to my car.
I had Kayla meet me at a diner in the next town over from ours. I didn’t want to run the risk of hearing any more gossip, or of running into Jesse while talking about him. I stood in the open entryway of the diner three minutes before Kayla had said she’d be there and picked at my fingernails.
“What’s wrong?” Kayla asked as soon as she saw me. Her makeup appeared to be only half done, like she ran out the door to come rescue me. “You sounded really upset on the phone.”
“It’s Jesse,” I said, as we walked to the booth. We each ordered a coffee, and I asked for a slice of chocolate cake to drown my sorrows into. “What’s your take on him? I mean, Jesse now, not Jesse from high school.”
Kayla looked puzzled. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I’m not sure if I’m just imagining it, but I feel like everyone is talking about me and Jesse everywhere I go.” I looked around to make sure no one was listening. “These old ladies in the bakery were talking about rumors that Jesse has a bunch of children he doesn’t even know about.”
Kayla laughed so hard I was worried coffee was going to come pouring out of her nose. “That’s a tad ridiculous, don’t you think?”
“That’s what I thought!”
“Maybe one or two, but not a bunch!” I was sure Kayla thought she was hilarious, but the look on my face told her otherwise. “Just kidding. Roni, he had a life in this town before you came back.”
“But what kind of life?”
“You really want to know?”
I hesitated. “I need to know,” I said. “I ran into Tina… I can’t remember her last name… after I called you. She mentioned hooking up with Jesse like it was the most casual thing in the world. It’s like yesterday my world was completely normal, and, today, everyone’s coming out of the woodworks to make Jesse seem horrible.”
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