Having shook his head in wonderment, Jeremy mused, “Two years—and you two ain’t never—”
Dean lowered his head and shook it. “He won’t ever make me—he promised.” Taking a moment to breathe in and out with short staccato, he added, “He’s a man of his word.”
“Does he—” Jeremy paused, wondering how to put this. “Does he get it somewhere else?”
“No—sometimes I wish he would, but—”
“But yer glad he don’t.”
Dean shuddered with shame at the realization.
“By all that’s gay and glorious,” Jeremy muttered, “that man must love you.” Worried he might have touched on a sore spot, he asked gently, “And you, Dean, how do you feel about him?”
“I love him,” Dean blurted out. No thought had gone into his answer—only expressed emotion. He took a moment to take in what he had just said. “I do love Geoffrey; he’s a wonderful man,” Dean pleaded. “It’s just that I’m not that way, and it’s hard having to crawl into bed with him every night, knowing he wants me to do things I can’t seem to bring myself to do.”
“I can imagine,” Jeremy replied, nodding again for Dean to go on.
“I just—I just don’t know what to do. I can’t keep faking it—I can’t keep on hurting him like this, but…” Dean shuddered at the thought. “I can never go back to that place.”
“What was it like?” Jeremy asked with sincere interest.
“It was…it was…” Even with all of Jeremy’s ease and willingness to listen, with every ounce of the man inviting confidence, Dean could not bring himself to speak of what had happened to him during his time at the Northeast Reeducation Camp.
“It’s all right, son,” Jeremy said soothingly. “I don’t need to know.” That Dean was straight was something Jeremy had figured out even before the two men had arrived at The Cattle Ranch. Changing the subject, but only just slightly, Jeremy commented, “Your partner must be a very wealthy man.”
This comment seemed so odd so soon after Dean had just exposed himself as het’ro that he couldn’t help but bluster, “I don’t understand?”
“Notice how you and he are the only two guests here.” He paused to allow the young man a moment of reflection. “This is peak season. This time of year, early fall being so lovely, all our cabins are usually full. We can service up to six couples—men and women—don’t matter. Business is business. Though, we do tend to attract more men, being men ourselves.” Having given Dean a knowing look, he added, “Don’t see any women here about, do you?”
Dean pondered the implication. “He bought out the whole place?”
Jeremy smiled. “Rented out.” Dean blushed. That was what he had meant to say. “He even asked if we had any women hands.”
Dean sat up straight. “Do you?” His eyes opened wide to reveal both hope and fear.
Jeremy nodded. “Some. Cowfolk come in both sexes you know.”
Dean flushed an even deeper red. “I…ah…”
Jeremy pointedly ignored Dean’s obvious embarrassment. “I told him as much and he asked whether we’d mind keepin’ ’em outta sight while the two of you were here. He paid extra for the favor, so I sent the ladies up to the north pastures to help my little sister, Sissy. She tends to our sheep up there.” After having eyed Dean briefly, Jeremy rested his eyes on the faux fire. “Now. The way me and Jake figures it, if a man don’t want no women around, he’s either reeducated or has a real hate on for women. Either way, it likely adds up to his being straight.” He chuckled slightly. “There ain’t nothing straight ’bout your man…” He paused momentarily to wave his hands, “which leaves only you. Now yer twenty, why ain’t you at the wall? He’s a mite older, clearly been educated. Well, it doesn’t take too much to put two and two together. You was straight when you was younger, and as you jes’ told me now, you still is.”
“You…you…” Real fear flashed in Dean’s eyes. “You aren’t gonna expose me, are you? Have ’em send me back there?”
“No, son, I ain’t gonna do that to you. ’Sides,” he stated judiciously, “my understanding of the law says it is illegal to act on being straight and you ain’t been doin’ no straight acts far as I can tell.”
“No, sir,” Dean expostulated vehemently. “No, sir, I haven’t.”
“Ever done?” Although his curiosity was pushing the bounds of propriety, Jeremy simply couldn’t help but ask.
“N-no, sir—just the kissing stuff I told you about.”
“Well, that’s good, I suppose. But…” Here Jeremy paused, rubbed his chin, then sighed deeply. “Even if you did and I knowed ’bout it, I don’t reckon I’d turn you in.” Dean was stunned. Sitting before him, for the very first time in his entire life, was a man who wasn’t judging him for being who he was. Dean felt so overwhelmed and touched that he was unable to speak. Having sensed the need to change the topic, Jeremy offered up a song. “How ’bout a little good ol’ fashioned country fer ya?”
Dean smiled. “I’d like that.”
Jeremy turned to his right where his guitar case leaned against one of the vacant stump seats. After opening it and retrieving the instrument, he took a moment to tune the strings. “Let’s see now,” he said while retuning the G string; his ear was close to the string as he listened intently until he was sure the sound was just right. “How about a little more Tim Hus?”
“Who’s he?” Dean was clearly intrigued.
“Tim Hus, he was from Alberta country back when Alberta was still a part of old Canada. I sung y’all one a his songs yesternight, the one ‘bout a bull rider.”
“A bull rider?” Dean was intrigued, his eyes widening at the wonder. He remembered the song he just hadn’t put the picture together in his mind. Blushing Dean adds, “I, ah, thought a brauma bull was a wild horse.
Jeremy laughs. “You remembered that line, did ya?” Then shaking his head between chuckles, he adds, “No. It’s the bull they say no one can ride.” Unable to let a good joke pass he adds, “It also means the man with the big penis.” Dean joins in on the jocularity. Then nodding his head thoughtfully, Jeremy adds, “Anyway, cowboys—note girls ain’t added here—don’t think there were any women folk done this—men would saddle up the biggest, most ornery bulls they could get a hold of an’ try an’ ride ’em. Compete to see who could stay on its back the longest. Well, them bulls would buck mighty hard. I guess it was considered a real act of manhood to be able to ride on the back of one of them like that.”
“Were any of them ever killed?” The idea of risking his life to prove his strength above others was intoxicating to Dean.
“Oh, yeah. I reckon lots were. It would be mighty dangerous. Our old bull is one mean bastard. I sure wouldn’t want to git on the back of him—but these good ol’ boys did and made good money doing it, too. Anyhoo, this here song I’m gonna sing ya’s called ‘Silver in the Buckle’ and its ’bout a broncin’ horse rider.” Jeremy chose this song specifically for the one verse in which the Montana man meets a girl “across the line that stole his heart away.” Under normal circumstances, Jeremy would adjust the verse, even though most folk, he knows, don’t really listen to the lyrics. But not tonight—tonight Jeremy sings the song exactly the way Tim Hus wrote it. If he had judged the lad correctly, Dean would make out the intent of the lyrics. And when he was singing that verse, he would watch the youth closely to see whether or not he was game. Sissy was mighty lonely and Jeremy knew she needed a man in her life. He couldn’t keep up this charade; Jake was far too suspicious, and as much as he loved Sissy, his true love was Jake. The fear of losing him had been building up lately.
Jeremy was correct. Dean picked up on the lines, gasping as soon as he heard them—taking off his hat, Dean used it to cover his lap. Without even finishing the song, Jeremy chimed out, “Sissy? Sissy, little girl, is that you?”
Jeremy had turned the voc mic off so Dean couldn’t hear the woman’s response. “Jeremy? For Hadrian’s sake, don’t you know what time it is?”
>
“It’s late, sweetie pie. What you callin’ fer?”
“ME? Why you dirty ol’ swamp rat—” Jeremy blinked, turning on his eye cam to show her Dean. “Ohhh.” Intelligence dawned. Although he was obviously much younger than Sissy, she couldn’t help but find herself drawn to his masculine beauty. “Can he—hear me? Can he—see me?”
“Naw, little girl,” Jeremy teased. “You know I don’t got time to come running up there to help you herd in a bunch of sheep. Why didn’t you fence up them pastures like I told you to?” He then confused the young man by giving Dean a wink. “Why didn’t you jes’ call me in the morning?” Feigning chagrin, he added, “Now, little sis, you know I’m too busy. We got guests to entertain this week.” Having trouble containing himself, Jeremy laughed outright.
“So, what’s your game, Jeremy? Is he for me?”
“Maybe.” Grunting as if punched lightly, he added, “It might be possible.” His smile spread wide. “Of course you can meet them—well, one of them, one guest went to bed early. Here—” When Jeremy blinked on the holocam, the grainy image of a blonde, curly haired young woman in her mid-twenties appeared. She was sitting up in bed with the covers dropped down to her waist.
“Hello.” She spoke shyly, having never met a man other than her brother with straight tendencies. And since Jeremy is bi-sexual, she has to share him with Jake, who, she reasons, would likely kill her if he knew. The very idea of a fully straight man only interested in women excited her. Jeremy moved his head, bringing Sissy’s image closer to Dean. “I’m Sissy. I herd sheep for my brother up north.”
Dean looked up, smiling clumsily. “My name’s Dean Stu—Hunter.” Blushing crimson, Dean squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head.
Sissy giggled awkwardly, “Stuhunter. That sure is an odd name. What’s your cultural heritage?”
“No, uh…” Dean stuttered. “I…it’s just Hunter.”
“Okay, just Hunter.” Dean was so embarrassed by her teasing that he could not bring himself to look up. Beginning to feel sorry for him, Sissy added, “It’s nice to meet you, Dean.” Since Jeremy had placed her holo image close enough, Sissy reached up with her hand to touch Dean’s cheek. The cool thing about holo imaging through the contact voc is that the salt-based electric current charging it can be felt as a slight shock, which had given a whole new meaning to the concept of phone sex! Unfortunately, when Sissy’s holo fingers lightly feathered Dean’s face, he was stunned. His mind reeled back to reeducation and a bolt of lightning crackled in his brain, searing all of its energy out of his extremities. The suddenness of this impact caused the young man to have a seizure. Sissy quickly pulled her hand back, watching on in horror. When the attack finally abated, nausea set in. Turning his back on Jeremy, Dean vomited into the bushes behind his seat. When he finished, Dean got up, and without looking back, stumbled toward his and Geoffrey’s cabin, pausing briefly at the water trough just outside their door to wash his face and rinse out his mouth. Turning to look at her brother, Sissy inquired, “Jeremy, what just happened?”
“He’s a re-ed…” Then shaking his head, he suggested, “They must’ve done something.”
“For the love of Hadrian,” she gasped. “What?”
“I don’t know, Sissy.”
“Poor boy,” Sissy lamented.
Jeremy sighed. “I only hope he can adapt.” His eyes had followed Dean walking in the direction of his and Geoffrey’s cabin.
Sissy was miffed, “Like m—”
Jeremy never let her finish. His eyes had hardened, “Likely, yes, likely, I agree. It’s very likely.” After a pause and having softened some toward his sister, he said, “But what might have happened to him—it frightens me more than you can possibly know.”
Trembling at the implication, she inquired, “How so?”
“He could be—” Jeremy stopped himself in time. He knew he must avoid saying anything that might implicate Sissy. He had taken a foolish risk doing introductions over the voc—anyone on the government wave could have overheard.
For a brief moment, brother and sister stared into one another’s eyes. Sissy was the first to break the silence. “I really do need help—with—the sheep, Jeremy.”
“I sent you three women,” he replied dryly.
Closing her eyes, Sissy tried desperately to squeeze back the tears. “Please come,” she begged. “I really need you—your help.”
“All right, baby girl,” he answered soothingly. “I’ll saddle up first thing and get there by nightfall.” Although Jeremy and Sissy are brother and sister through their fathers’ marriage they are not genetically related. Even so, if anyone ever learned of their affair most people would find it disturbing.
Suddenly, Sissy blurted out, “I love you!”
Jeremy’s eyes grew stern again, and he responded quickly with, “I love you too, little sis.”
* * * * *
Salve!
Today’s Sexually Active Youth
HNN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting
Too many of today’s teenagers are sexually active. This is a concern for numerous of Hadrian’s parents. Many are seeking professional advice for ways to discourage our youth from beginning early experimentation. The fact is, early sexual experimentation has been a problem for parents of teenagers since the beginning of time. The accusation of outsiders that our teenagers are promiscuous due to our sexual orientation is balderdash. The teenage years are ones of sexual awakening. Teenagers’ hormones begin to pop and dash around like the ball from the old pinball machines in the arcade museum. That is not to say I condone early sexual behavior in our youth. I only say this to let parents know they haven’t done anything wrong if they suddenly discover their young adult is no longer a virgin.
Many young people find themselves hurt and confused by their first sexual experiences. What our children need to learn, through open and honest communication with their parents, is that touching, allowing another to touch you, is a very intimate experience. One becomes quickly attached to the person to whom she or he makes love. The greatest danger our youth face is the wretched psychological hurt that comes with a break-up. The pain of breaking up is compounded deeply if one has been intimate with another. Encouraging our youth to restrain from acting upon their sexual impulses at an early age is crucial. Early experimentation may shatter a child’s self-esteem, creating an emotional turbulence that can deter an individual from creating a stable emotional bond with a future partner.
No doubt, parents, you are wondering what it is you can do to help stave off your child’s sexual yearnings for a year or two. To begin, you need to be open and forthright with your sons and daughters. Be prepared to answer any questions they might ask regardless of how uncomfortable it may make you feel. And, yes, it is essential that you consider their questions about heterosexual behaviors. Remember, many of our citizens know what it feels like to be attracted to the opposite sex. Even though our geneticists have done a wonderful job isolating the gene for homosexuality, the fact still remains that some of our children are born with heterosexual tendencies. Let’s remember the Kinsey scale: anyone between a three and five is easily swayed to accepting homosexuality as the sexual norm. Youth who are a two, on the other hand, feel the heterosexual drive a lot more strongly than their latent homosexual tendencies. If you suspect your child might be a two on the Kinsey scale, you can help him or her release the inner homosexual. Encourage your children to reach deep inside and discover what they like most about their own sex. Nurture these inclinations and help your child turn them into honest desires. For a child who is a two, it really is just a matter of finding the right man or right woman.
Now, for parents whose children are easily attracted to the same sex, you need to talk to your children about how to move slowly, as they may not take the time necessary to formulate solid relationships. Many of our youth find they get involved too quickly in a sexual relationship and are ultimately hurt. Parents, speak candidly with your child. Let him or her know
what it was like for you as a young adult. Discuss how you controlled your sexual urges; or be honest, let him or her know about the hurt you felt when you gave of yourself too soon. It never serves a parent to mimic a virgin countenance. A false face forces even the finest into floundering. We are not saints; we are human beings, and we are all prone to flaws. Let us leave that “holier than thou” nonsense to the religious fanatics outside our walls, shall we? Rather, Hadrian’s parents need to help their children understand how emotional the sharing of one’s body is and encourage their children to restrain from entering into such a commitment at too young an age, and the best way to accomplish this is by sharing our own experiences openly. But perhaps the two most important pieces of advice I can offer you are these: be honest and never judge your child.
Vale!
Study Date
Frank’s room is huge. Todd laughed the first time he saw the bathroom attached. “By all that’s gay and glorious, man, your bathroom is four times the size of my bedroom!” Frank’s bed is a four-poster queen-size; Todd’s is a single. As soon as he enters Frank’s room, Todd always rips open the poster’s curtains and tosses himself onto Frank’s bed. “Man, I wish I could have a bed this size. And the mattress.” He always says this as he luxuriates in the feel of a mattress that actually bends and forms to his body, immediately placing him in the perfect rest position and realigning his spine at the same time. “Hadrian’s lover,” Todd groans in delight, “it just cracked my back for me.”
Frank laughs heartily. He enjoys watching Todd squirm in delight on his bed. “You can sleep over any time,” is Frank’s chirp reply, always knowing, but never fully prepared, for Todd’s inevitable response.
“Forget it, Frank. I’m not one of your tinsel tarts.”
“I think you’d look cute in makeup.” Frank never quits.
Hadrian's Lover Page 12