“But one day,” Frank continues, “you will be ready, Todd Middleton.” Todd laughs and shakes his head. Frank’s dogged determination is what makes him such an excellent b-ball player. The man just never knows when to quit. “And when that time comes, just know this.” Frank bends down and lifts Todd’s face up by the chin. “I will be standing in the wings ready to sweep you up into my arms.”
“Okay, Frank.” Todd sees no point in continuing to resist since he’s won a stalemate, “but until then, please remember, we’re just friends.”
* * * * *
Salve!
Hadrian’s Wall Still Holding
HNN—Melissa Eagleton Reporting
Another wave of heterosexual barbarians attempted to force their way through a portion of Hadrian’s Wall and cross our border last night. This time, the attack was waged against the Mid-West Gate Battalion. According to Captain Collins, 12th Platoon commanding officer, “This was no regular army. Had it been, they never would have concentrated all their men on so heavily a fortified zone.” Having anticipated an intelligent military attack, dressing regulars like thralls, Captain Collins had immediately contacted the bases located fifteen miles south of the Mid-West Gate, those camps stationed near the electric wire fencing, warning them to be on alert for what he believed would be the real attack. However, no such attack came. It truly is a wonder that the hordes did not attempt an attack in one of these locations, which are, as Captain Collins assures us, the preferred location for armies or organized gangs to attempt breaking into Hadrian’s borders. Even so, rest assured, folks, that these border fences are not left undefended. We have watchtowers placed every fifty feet with trained snipers to keep the heterosexual barbarians at bay. At the Mid-West Gate, heavy fighting was reported by Captain Collins. After taking small arms fire, and coming under insurgent rocket attacks, the 12th Platoon used superior tactics and its upgraded M4A2 assault rifles to push back the enemy and seize the objective. The rifles’ extremely high rate of fire and 30 round 5.56mm magazines provided the necessary force multiplier to inflict maximum casualties with minimal losses. In fact, Captain Collins believes that last night’s attack was more of a suicide run than a battle. Considering the desperate living conditions of many outsiders, this does not seem so unlikely. “All the bodies of the heterosexual dead,” Captain Collins is quoted as saying, “were emaciated,” adding, “had they been successful at climbing the wall or breaking through the front gate, not one of them would have stood a chance in hand-to-hand combat against the men and women of Hadrian.” His eyes were filled with sorrow as he spoke, and shaking his head, he told me, “Even our oldest citizens would have stood a better chance. It was worse than an old fashioned turkey shoot!” A turkey shoot for those voc, or wave, viewers who are unfamiliar with the term, means having all the advantage. Apparently a turkey hunter would scatter the flock and then sit back and wait while all the birds reconvened in the same spot. He would then just sit back and shoot them at his leisure. I can assure you, folks, that under no circumstances did Captain Collins mean to suggest his soldiers and he shot the barbarian hordes at their “leisure.” Rather, for the soldiers of the Mid-West Gate Battalion, this turkey shoot was far too painfully easy. Many of our young soldiers have requested psychological aid, as their training did not include assisted suicide. Captain Collins has made a recommendation to his commanding officer that the military begin looking into the possibility of training our soldiers for what he believes will be more future acts of euthanasia. Once again, we are reminded of our good fortune, extending gratitude for the wisdom of the founding families in creating the only safe haven remaining for humanity on planet earth. Is it any wonder we have no crime in Hadrian? Is it any wonder we have no jails? Who, in his right mind, would commit a crime knowing that the only punishment available is banishment with the option of assisted suicide? It is truly amazing how many of our convicted criminals request black henbane when sentenced with exile.
For those viewers unaware, black henbane is a highly poisonous plant because it contains several alkaloids. It grows wild throughout most of Hadrian. To ensure its availability to those who would choose euthanasia, the plant is grown in a hothouse here in Antinous. Even our most hardened criminals do not want to live in the outside world, so daunting, so terrifying is the prospect. If put to the test, I daresay I too would choose death over exile. Really, when you think of the alternative—life outside our walls—wouldn’t you choose death?
Vale!
Enter the Vixen
“Frank,” Papa Dean calls from the front room. “Your friend Crystal is here.”
“Finally,” Todd mutters. He really does need Crystal as a chaperone.
“She says you guys have to study.” There is some trepidation in Papa Dean’s voice, a note Todd picks up on, but to which Frank appears oblivious.
“Thanks, Papa,” Frank hollers back. “Send her in.”
Todd shakes his head. “Why can’t you just open the door and talk like normal people, instead of yelling?”
Frank, very good at being coy, replies, “I’d have to walk all the way over there and I prefer being close to you.”
The door bursts open and Crystal enters. She is tall—5’ 11½”—but it has always irked her that she never hit six feet. She has never forgiven her mothers or the doctor for making her take heterosexual birth control in order to stunt her growth. “Gigantism,” her doctor had warned, “is a serious concern. An enlarged heart would mean a shorter lifespan.” This warning was enough to convince her mothers, so Crystal was required to stunt her growth.
With her short, dark brown hair swept up and over to the right side, accenting her oblong face, cute little nose, and jade green eyes, Crystal is truly beautiful. Like Todd, she refuses to wear makeup. Everyone, boys and girls, wears makeup these days. No one seems to care that a girl won’t, though. More girls than guys can get away with the natural look, even if their numbers are far and few between. At least Crystal isn’t the only girl at Pride who refuses to wear the goop. And a girl without makeup isn’t instantly tagged as straight. By comparison, Todd has set himself up for razzing because he is the only boy at Pride who won’t wear any facial enhancements. Even, still, Todd begrudgingly admits most people don’t wear makeup to look like sluts—only Frank’s boys! What Todd will never admit to himself, though, is that his perspective on this is more than slightly skewed.
“Hey, guys,” Crystal chimes as she walks across the room. When she reaches the middle, she gives a model spin so they can better appreciate her figure. “So,” she asks, beaming in their direction, “how do I look?”
“Wow! Girlie girl, you look amazing!” Frank stands up to admire her image more thoroughly. “Do you always dress like this for a study date with boys?”
Crystal giggles. “Silly, I have a date with Lolita after.” Spinning slowly to show off her beauty, she says, “I’m wearing this for her!”
“Do your moms know you’re dressed like that?” Frank utters his amazement.
“Don’t be insane,” Crystal replies. “They don’t even know I own this dress.”
Crystal is stunning in her light green dress, snug to the body. Thin straps reveal snowy white shoulders, a low cut bodice exposes a deep cleavage, and her hips are accented by the rippling of material sewn into elastic. The skirt is a mini and hugs her buttocks neatly. Frank leans in to inspect her backside. “Aren’t you wearing any underwear?”
The question is rhetorical, but Crystal answers anyway. “Of course not,” she giggles. “Can’t risk showing any lines.” Still twirling in constant show of her beauty, Crystal smiles. “What do you think, Todd? Do I look okay?”
Todd’s eyes are wide, his mouth hangs open and he is staring. He stutters, “You, uh—gee, Crystal.” Swallowing hard, he manages to say, “You look great.”
“What do you think, Frank?” Crystal swirls again. “Will Lolita like me in it?”
Frank is more than pleased with Crystal’s question. “She is goin
g to like you so much, girlie, you won’t last sixty seconds in that dress.” Crystal’s giggle suggests that that is the plan. “Let me dab some makeup on you,” Frank adds. “And I can cut that time in half.”
Turning coquettishly to Todd, Crystal winks, “What do you think, Todd? Should I let Frank doll me up?”
Frank notices Todd staring Crystal’s way—gawking actually. Jealousy rages as he slams back down on his chair. It creaks but doesn’t break. “Fuck it!” he spits out. “You look fine the way you are.” Todd blushes and turns away.
Crystal, ever the expert deflector, turns a teasing eye on Frank. “Oh, oh.” Feigning a little pout, she says, “Crystal came at a bad time, didn’t she?” Poking Frank, attempting to jostle him into good humor, she adds, “Were you trying to make it with the boy again?”
Frank, although not feeling very spirited, forces a laugh. To make it look like he’s giving in to Crystal’s jocularity, he spins gaily in his chair, retorting, “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
Todd turns, hoping to change the conversation. “Shouldn’t we start…” Red splotches now cover the whole of Todd’s face. “I mean…” Embarrassment causes him to stumble over his words.
Misinterpreting Todd’s bashful demeanor, Frank smiles Crystal’s way.
Giving Frank a knowing wink to deepen further his misconception, Crystal feigns concern as she bends forward to shake Todd’s shoulder, exposing her deep cleavage in the process. “Awe, Todd, are we embarrassing you?”
Todd bends his head down quickly; even the back of his neck is red. He mutters, “Can we study? Please?”
“First, you two kiss and make up.” Then taunting Todd, she adds, “Otherwise, I might think you’re a strai and attracted to me.” Looking up stunned, Todd is clearly hurt by the accusation. “Oh, I’m just teasing.” Crystal’s voice is not as reassuring as it should be. “I know you’re not straight. But seriously,” pouting again, looking to Frank to take the initiative, “I won’t feel right until you boys kiss and make up.”
Frank stands, taking full advantage of Crystal’s suggestion. Walking over to Todd, Frank motions for him to stand. Then, after placing both hands behind Todd’s head, and with his back to Crystal, he carefully mouths the words, “Make this look good.” Using his eyes, Frank gestures Crystal’s way. “She’s a gossip.” As he looks into Todd’s eyes, he waits for him to initiate the kiss. When their lips finally meet, Frank holds them together for over a minute. Crystal squeals in delight and claps during the whole ordeal. As Frank returns to his chair, Todd shakes before awkwardly sitting down on the floor.
“Wow, Frank,” Crystal remarks. “That must have been some kiss. You got the boy all a tremble.” She, too, sits on the floor in front of Todd. “You know,” she still goads Todd, “I love watching boys kiss.”
Frank smiles. “Well, that’s all you get to watch us do!” Although he is speaking to Crystal, his eyes are locked on Todd. That kiss has his whole body on fire. Reaching across his desk, he slides his personal slate over, using it discreetly to cover his groin.
Todd musters up the courage to speak, “Can we…” Even now, addressing these two is difficult. His hands, still gripping the school slate, shake it slightly for emphasis as he finishes, “study now?”
“Study?” Crystal claps her hands together, her eyes open wide in excitement and she gives her head a little shake. “Okay! Tomorrow’s test!” As always, Crystal is highly exuberant, (kids love associating with her due to her excessive energy bursts and constant upbeat mood). “Hadrian’s legal system. Tomorrow’s test will be on Procreation Laws, the impact of 6-13 on Hadrian’s foreign policy and conscription laws—”
Frank rolls his eyes in disgust. He is sorely displeased with the fact that all Hadrian’s youth must now serve four years in the military. Prior to 6-13, youth were only conscripted for two years.
Crystal ceases listing and begins to chastise him. “And what is your problem?”
“I wish we didn’t have to have conscription,” Frank mutters. Although he doesn’t like the idea of having to serve in the army, he, like every other Hadrian citizen, is required by law to do so.
“Exceptions are made for scholarship winners,” Todd reminds him.
“A very good reason to study,” Frank declares, posturing himself now for hard work.
“I disagree,” Crystal argues. “Conscription is essential.” Quite stern now, she adds, “Even if I win a scholarship, I plan to ask the uni to hold on to it until after I serve.” Both boys stare uncomprehendingly. “We are all responsible for helping to defend our country. Four years of service ensures more experienced men and women defending our walls, something we need considering that the world out there is getting more and more insane.” Shaking her head sadly, “Surely you remember 6-13?”
Todd certainly remembers, Frank thinks, as he watches his friend for any sign of emotional disturbance. Fortunately, there is none.
“Besides,” Crystal remonstrates, “you can’t depend on a scholarship.” Shaking her head disapprovingly, she says, “Sorry, Frank, but your marks are just not high enough. Todd may get a sports scholarship, but you are going to the wall.” Hadrian’s wall, although envisioned to surround the entire country (and one day it will!) only spans one hundred miles across those lands where the heterosexual barbarians have been known to concentrate the bulk of their attacks. There are, however, watchtowers and electric fences spanning the rest of Hadrian’s borders. “Unless,” Crystal smiles wickedly, “you expose yourself.”
“What?” Frank stands, face flushed with anger. Todd stands to calm him. “She’s just kidding, Frank.” Looking down at Crystal, miffed that she would upset Frank to such a degree, Todd says, “Tell him you’re just kidding.”
Crystal can barely get the words out from laughing so hard, but she does manage to execute an apology of sorts. “Don’t worry, Frank,” she finally utters after her stomach and diaphragm calm down. “No one in their right mind would ever believe you’re straight. Which again means, you’re going to the wall.” This brings on another fit of laughter.
Todd, knowing Frank’s temper, pulls the man in for a hug. “If you go to the wall, I go to the wall,” he whispers. “We go together.” This mollifies Frank, and he returns Todd’s light hug with his own grizzly bear. The physical contact, Todd rightly surmises, is just what Frank needs to get his mind off wanting to punch Crystal.
After kissing the top of Todd’s head, Frank whispers his appreciation. “Thanks.”
As the two boys resume sitting, Crystal, oblivious to her guffaw, smiles Todd’s way, whispering to him her dream. “I’m thinking of making the military my career.”
Suddenly, Frank is forgotten as the two have a brief tête-à-tête. “I thought you wanted to be a surrogate goddess?” Todd asks earnestly. “You’d look beautiful pregnant,” he blurts out.
Frank scowls as Crystal smiles and says, “Thank you.” To Frank’s further annoyance, she blows Todd a kiss. “I can do both. The military has great maternity leave benefits, and a surrogate goddess never has to get pregnant more than once every two years.”
“It seems to me a surrogate goddess would be ten months of wasted time and money for the military,” Frank utters discouragingly.
Impervious, Crystal insists, “It’s amazing how many compensations are made for a surrogate.” Then, smiling at Todd for encouragement, she adds, “I really could do both!”
“Cool,” Todd replies, finding everything Crystal has to say fascinating right now.
Frank shakes his head in disgust. “Typical Crystal, always wanting to be in the limelight!”
“You shall not dissuade me, Frank Hunter.” More determined now than ever, she states, “I shall be a surrogate goddess and make the military my career!” Now, looking back at the school slate in Todd’s lap, she smiles. “Let’s get back to our study list, shall we. Where was I? Oh, yes, listing off study topics. Procreation Laws, the impact of 6-13 on Hadrian’s foreign policy, and…” glaring at F
rank, “conscription laws, the resurgence of the anti-heterosexual campaign, and reeducation camps!” Once again turning to face Todd, Crystal opens wide her eyes. She accents the expression by sticking her tongue out of her mouth and rubbing her hands together while giggling. “Let’s start with Procreation Laws, shall we?” Trying now to recapture a teasing mood, Crystal slaps Frank’s thigh, “So, tell me, after you two boys wed, are you planning on having your babies right away or waiting?”
Before Frank can even answer, Todd’s head is shaking. “We’re not registered!”
“I know that,” Crystal laughs. “I said when.”
Frank steps in before Todd can reject him thoroughly. “Yes! We do plan to register!” The look he gives Todd brooks no objection, so Todd simply looks down at the slate in his lap and waits, wishing fervently for the other two to finish kidding around. Frank, however, has more to say on this issue. He wants to make sure everyone in the room is clear on his intent. “We’ll wait a couple of years, I think, but have them both within the first ten years. That’s what my dads did—and I want them close in age—like Roger and me. What about you? Right away or later?”
“Never!” Crystal says this a bit too emphatically.
“What?” Todd looks up, his face exposing disappointment.
Crystal shrugs slightly and then looks to Frank, almost as if he would be more likely to understand. “When I register…” Mischievously, she adds, “if I register, I certainly don’t want to add a child into the mix.”
“But you have to,” Todd admonishes. “And your partner will have to.”
Crystal pointedly ignores Todd. “A child just complicates everything.”
Frank looks concerned. “You and Mama Elena at it again?”
Crystal, dropping all jocularity, becomes instantly somber. Her eyes roll up into her sockets. “And then she and Mom go at it. Mom always takes my side and that pisses Mama Elena off. ‘Just because you passed her through your loins doesn’t mean she’s always right.’” Crystal shakes her head and joins the boys in laughter at her mimicry of Mama Elena’s shrill accusations. Crystal laughs, “Mama Elena’s right, though. Mom lets me get away with everything.” Taking on a stern expression for this imitation, Crystal shrills, “You’ve spoilt the girl rotten.” After they have all had a good chortle, she adds, “And I am spoilt—rotten. I could never have a kid, especially if she turned out like me.” Frank and Todd guffaw in agreement.
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