by Jake Mactire
“You got a way with folks, Jeff.”
“I was half afraid they were gonna think that I invited them to One Eyed Jack’s just to talk up the ranch.”
Mike laughed at me. “The thing is you didn’t do much of the talkin’. Everyone else did. It tickled me somethin’ funny to hear Smitty call you the ranch’s ‘proprietor’ and me its ‘general manager’.”
“I reckon those are our titles.”
“Yeah, but they sound kinda stuffy to me.”
“Actually to me too, buddy. When I registered us for the rodeo, I said we were bein’ sponsored by the Lucky Jeff Ranch. We get a mention with our website in the program. I want to get your opinion on somethin’ too.”
“What’s that, Jeffy?”
“Well, all the rodeos have a tent or building where there are vendors, a bar, food, that kind of thing. I want to see what you think about us havin’ a booth at the different rodeos.”
“But I never been to a gay rodeo before.”
“That’s why you’re perfect to look at it and see. Besides, you are the general manager, and marketin’ falls under you.”
“And just what falls under you?”
“You do, Mike.”
He started to say something and then noticed my grin. “You sure are one cocky bastard.”
“Yeah, but I’m your cocky bastard, and don’t you forget it.”
“SO ARE you guys headed off to the rodeo in Phoenix?” Mike and I were on the plane from Seattle to Phoenix. I’d paid for an upgrade to first class, so we had plenty of room and plenty to drink. The flight attendant was obviously one of “the boys” and had been really attentive.
Mike answered real quick. “We sure are.”
“Are you just watching or are you competing?”
“We’re competin’.”
“So are you guys weekend cowboys?”
I chuckled. “Hell no. We’re the real thing. I first rodeoed in grade school at junior rodeos.”
“Great! I have the weekend off, and Phoenix is my home base. I’m sure I’ll run into you at the rodeo. If you guys go out to Charlie’s, save me a dance.”
I stuck out my hand. “Sure will. Name’s Jeff Connelly, and this is my partner, Mike Guidry.” He shook both our hands in turn.
“Pleased to meet you. Jack Sullivan.” We chatted a few more minutes, and he headed off to see if anyone else needed anything.
“I can’t believe he asked you to dance, Jeffy.”
“I reckon he was askin’ us both, buddy. Notice how he said ‘you guys’.”
“I guess so. You’re just a lot friendlier than I am. I still think it’s funny the way you was talkin’ to those ladies when they were askin’ about cowboyin’.” Mike and I were both duded up. I had on my black Stetson, a black Wrangler Pro Rodeo shirt, a big belt buckle I’d won last year in the Denver gay rodeo, and my ostrich-skin boots. Mike had on a Canvas Brushpopper shirt striped in several shades of blue, a black Stetson, a rodeo buckle he’d won in the Winslett Fourth of July rodeo, and his Rocketbuster boots. When we’d changed planes in Seattle, we had gotten quite a few questions from ladies, usually starting out with, “Are you guys real cowboys?” Mike had mumbled, “Yes,” and found his boots really interesting. I talked with the ladies, and quite a few of them wanted to flirt. Some guy had even told me, “Nice shirt.”
“Does it bother you if I talk to other folks?”
“I reckon it does a bit. I don’t know why, but I didn’t like it when you was flirtin’ with those ladies. I know you ain’t interested in ’em, but for some reason it just grated on me. Stupid, huh?”
I thought a few seconds before answering. I really think jealousy can be a horrible and destructive emotion, yet Mike was decent enough to explain to me how he felt. “Jealousy is a natural emotion, Mike. As far as bein’ stupid, if you feel that way occasionally, but you realize it’s just human nature and you got no reason to be upset, it’s not stupid. It is stupid if ya get all bent outta shape and mad at me for nothin’. Think about it. All the folks we spoke to are all happy and gonna tell all their friends two hot, hunky cowboys were flirtin’ with them. That probably made their day, or at least gave them nice feelings about themselves. Hell, I reckon they’ll probably say the blond one was the cutest, but really bashful.”
He smiled at me and took my hand. “You’re somethin’ else.”
“I sure am, and you’re lucky to have me. But, I’m even luckier to have you. None of the folks we saw, or will see, are any threat to you. As far as I’m concerned, you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread. Or since they added wintergreen to Skoal.”
“It’s real nice to have someone to rodeo with.” He squeezed my hand.
“For me too. I always have seemed to attract the buckle bunnies. Speakin’ of buckles, I reckon that the team ropin’ buckles have our names on ’em.”
“In the wild drag race, who’s goin’ in drag?”
“Did you bring any drag?”
“Hell, Jeff, you know I don’t got anything like that.”
“Well then I saved your ass. I brought a cheap old housedress and a wig.”
“You saved my ass? So you’re sayin’ I’m gonna be the one goin’ in drag?”
I made a big show of sighing loudly. “Nah, I reckon it’ll have to be me. The person in drag is the one who rides the steer, and if we want a chance of winnin’, it’s gonna have to be me. I reckon Jeanette can dog the steer well enough, so you can just look pretty.” He caught me smiling right away and punched me lightly on the arm.
“You ain’t any better at bull ridin’ than I am.”
“We’ll see who gets the buckle then.” I winked at him.
“Hell, it might not be either one of us.” He laughed.
“It might not be,” I agreed.
Just then the captain announced we were beginning our descent into Phoenix. Mike looked out the window. He’d never been to Arizona before. “Wow, it looks awful barren and brown.”
“It is the desert, buddy. It only looks like that though. The desert is really beautiful up close.”
“I’m just happy to be seein’ it.”
“And I’m happy that you’re seein’ it with me.” He squeezed my hand again and beamed at me.
IT WAS a warm seventy-five degrees with practically no humidity. We got a rental car and headed off to the host hotel. There are actually two host hotels, one near the rodeo grounds in South Phoenix and one near the bars in Central Phoenix. I’d opted for the one in South Phoenix. It’s being close to the rodeo grounds outweighed being close to the bars. I reckoned we’d have to be up at about six thirty to get to the rodeo grounds in time to buck.
Mike was looking all around and commenting on the sparseness of vegetation. We got to the hotel and checked in. Mike was shocked by the number of gay men and women at the hotel, and most of them were all duded up. I’ve been active in the rodeo circuit long enough that quite a few folks know me. I got a good share of hellos. I made sure I introduced Mike as my partner, and every time he found his boots real interestin’, I’d put my arm around him.
One thing I did notice was there was quite a bit more security around than normal. In fact, Mike even commented on it. “Jeffy, is Phoenix really unfriendly to gay folks? I’m seein’ a lot of security officers around.”
We headed up to our room. It was nice, with a balcony overlooking the pool and a big king-sized bed. Mike was reading over the rodeo handout, which showed all the events happening this weekend, connected with the rodeo.
“Now I understand the security. Look here in the handout, Jeff. It says that although the West Coast Cutter has not struck in Phoenix, the Arizona Gay Rodeo Association wants you to be safe, so has contracted extra security.”
“Shit, Mike, it seems we can’t get away from that maniac, wherever we go.”
“Yeah, but ain’t it a good thing they’re tryin’?”
“I reckon so.”
Hey, Jeffy, it says here there’s a pool party goin’
on now. I reckon that’s why there’s all the folks by the pool. Were you gonna go down there?”
“No, we’re gonna go down there.”
“I didn’t pack my swimsuit.”
“I packed it for ya.”
He got a big grin on his face. “Thanks! So let’s get dressed and go down.” We shucked our clothes in record time. I rummaged in my suitcase and got out our suits. I handed Mike his and took a good long look at him naked.
“You are gorgeous, you know that, cowboy?”
“Reckon that makes two of us.”
“Ya know, buddy, I seen you bare-assed every day for almost six months now, and I still can’t help but admirin’ the view.”
“We’re in the same boat there.”
“Let’s get these skimpy things on and get down to the pool. I keep lookin’ at you, and I ain’t gonna be able to get into this.” He laughed and we got into our suits and then threw on our jeans, boots, tank tops, and Stetsons. We grabbed some towels and headed down to the pool. Once there, we got two chairs and stripped down to our Speedos.
“I feel like I’m on display, Jeffy. There’s sure a hell of a lot of guys lookin’ at us.”
“You’re the one that bought these suits, buddy. I reckon that even if we were dressed in board shorts, we’d have an audience. You’re mighty easy on the eyes, and I reckon, I ain’t too bad.” Just then I heard a familiar voice.
“Jeffrey, Michael, hello!” It was Robert, my ex-boyfriend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mike stiffen.
“Hey, Robert. You been here long?”
“I just arrived this afternoon. How are you two?”
“Fair to middlin’.” Before I could even ask about him, Mike jumped in.
“I’m happy as a steer in new grass. How are you doin’, Rob?”
“I’m doing well, Michael, and it’s Robert.”
“That’s what I said.”
“So things are still going well?”
I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I answered. “They sure are.” He sighed and looked at Mike, then at me.
“I’m happy for you two. Now that I’ve gotten over the pain and the shock of your breaking up with me, I can see you two are much better suited for one another than you and I were, Jeffrey. Just looking at you two, I can tell you’re very happy. Besides, Michael, Jeffrey obviously adores you. I could never get him to wear something that skimpy in public.” I almost laughed out loud. I ain’t modest in any way, shape, or form. In fact Robert used to always nag me about walking around the house bare-assed or in my underwear. A couple times we had gone to secluded beaches, and if there were others there sunbathing in the buff, I would if I wanted to and had no problems with it.
“He does look awful fine, don’t he, Rob?”
“Robert. And he does. So do you.”
“Thanks, and that’s what I said.” Just then a waiter came by and asked us if we’d like anything to drink. Mike and I answered, “Bud,” in unison.
Robert laughed. “You two really do see eye to eye. Are you both competing?”
“We are. We’re actually doing the team ropin’ and wild drag race together.”
“I’ll be cheering you on.”
“Thanks. What have you been up to, Robert?”
“Just working. I guess I lead a boring life.”
Mike looked at him. “You’re always welcome to come and visit us, Robert. And this time, no son-of-a-bitch stew or major hot sauce.” Mike was referring to the time Robert came up to the ranch right after my dad died. He and the cowboys, particularly Mike, had taken an immediate dislike to one another. Mike made a cowboy dish called son-of-a-bitch stew. It’s the liver, kidneys, tripe, heart, and marrow gut of a beef with lean meat and lots of red chile. The other cowboys put some super-hot hot sauce in Robert’s food.
“Thanks, Michael. I think I’m going to walk around and see who’s here. I know the San Francisco contingent was asking about you, Jeff. I’m sure they will be happy to see you again. Janet was asking about you also. She really read me the riot act when I told her you’d dumped me.”
I sighed. “I don’t reckon you were exactly dumped, Robert. Anyway, it’ll be nice to see Janet. She’s a real nice lady.”
“See you two later.” He walked away.
Mike looked at me. “Who’s Janet?”
“She’s this really nice straight lady from outside San Francisco. She’s married and likes country and Western stuff, rodeo, and shit kickin’, and her husband doesn’t. She goes to all the gay rodeos, and he’s fine with it.”
“That’s really nice.”
I drained my beer and looked at him. “You ready for a swim, cowboy?”
“Hell yeah, I love to swim.” We stood up and walked to the edge of the pool. We both dove in. I surfaced and began my clumsy desert-boy stroke to the other side of the pool. Although the valley is wooded where we live, most of it is desert. I learned how to swim in the river, stock tanks, and the few lakes close by. It wasn’t a regular thing though. Mike, on the other hand, knew what he was doing. He surfaced and began a graceful breaststroke which carried him across the pool much quicker than I was able to swim. He looked like a dolphin, gliding effortlessly through the water. I caught up to him as he rested, holding on to the edge of the pool. I grabbed the side with one arm and slid the other around him. We shared a chlorine-tinged kiss.
“I gotta be able to do somethin’ better than you, Jeffy.”
“It ain’t a competition, buddy. There’s a lot you do better than me. It complements me. And what I do better than you complements you. That’s why we’re such a good team.” We kissed again. I heard a few catcalls and whistles from the guys around the pool. Mike smiled at me and pushed his hips against me. We were both hard.
“We’re gonna have to stay in the pool a while.”
“You reckon so?”
He laughed. “I do.” We started swimming around, splashing each other and just having a nice time. After about a half an hour, we both climbed out and headed back to our chairs. The waiter came around and Mike ordered us two more beers. I’d just been lying back enjoying the warm sunshine. I watched Mike and the waiter. The waiter kept staring at my crotch. Mike looked at me and laughed. I looked down. When I’d gotten hard it had pulled the waistband of my Speedo down in front. About an inch of black hair showed above the waistband. I was still half hard. In the wet Speedo, I might as well have been naked.
“You’re puttin’ on a real nice show there, Jeffy.” I looked at him. He was half hard too. He was so furry it was hard to tell if the hair I could see was belly hair or his pubes. He quickly reached down and pulled up the waistband.
I laughed. “You’re the one that bought these.”
Just then the waiter returned with our beers. “Here you go, guys. Are you just visiting, or are you competing in the rodeo?”
“We’re competing,” I answered while Mike fumbled in his wallet.
He stuck out his hand. “My name’s Gabe.”
“Howdy, Gabe, well met. I’m Mike and this here’s my partner, Jeff.”
“Nice to meet you guys. Um… are you guys going out later?”
“I reckon we’ll hit Charlie’s for a little close dancin’.” He tore his eyes away from my crotch long enough to stammer out an invitation.
“Um… uh… maybe I could meet you at Charlie’s. We could come back here. I’d really love to be in the middle of a cowboy sandwich.” He kept looking at my crotch. Mike’s mouth was hanging open. He was new to gay culture.
“Gabe, thanks for the invite, and that’s a nice compliment, but Mike and I are monogamous.”
His face fell. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” He looked over at Mike and Mike’s crotch. “Maybe, if I run into you at Charlie’s, you two could save me a dance?”
Mike stammered now. “Uh, sure.” Gabe smiled at both of us and then went to see if anyone else needed something.
Mike looked at me. “I can’t believe he asked that. Ain’t it obvious we�
�re together?”
“It is, but a lot of gay couples have open relationships.”
Mike looked stricken. “He couldn’t keep his eyes off your basket.”
“He was lookin’ at you too, bud. Should I have handled the situation different?” He thought a minute. I reached over and took his hand.
“No. You told him we’re partners and monogamous right away. I just can’t believe he’d assume we was available.”
“Mike, for a lot of gay guys, sex is like a game or a sport. Then there’s others like us for whom it’s a real special thing that ya only share with someone ya really love and who you’re committed to. Look at it this way. I ain’t tooting our horns or anything, but we’re both good-lookin’, we’re in good shape, it’s obvious we’re both hung, and we’re real cowboys, we ain’t twinks or all feminine. A lot of these guys fantasize about men like us. They don’t know we’re exclusive unless they ask. Way ya gotta look at it is that it’s a compliment to us both.” I squeezed his hand.
“You’re right. This is all new to me, and sometimes gay culture can be different.” He changed the subject. “What time do we gotta do the contestant registration?” I looked at my watch.
“It started a half an hour ago. Wanna go, get dressed, register, and then have dinner? I reckon afterward we can go dancin’, and we can come back here, and I can show you just how special you are.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He smiled at me. We pulled on our jeans, socks, and boots and headed back to our room.
“LOOK here, Jeffy! They got calf fries on the menu!” Mike and I were in the Stockyards Restaurant in Phoenix. I’d heard it had great steaks. The fact it had calf fries put it a few notches higher in my book.
“That’ll hit the spot. What are you thinkin’ on orderin’?”
“T-bone steak rare, with a baked potato, and a salad with ranch dressing.”
“How’d you read my mind like that, Mike?”
“Great minds think alike.” The waiter came and took our order. Mike and I both had beers, and Mike asked for two orders of calf fries. The waiter brought the beers, and I took a swig.