Your neighbor Carl here. Wish you could make some upgrades to your house but don’t want to spend the money on a contractor and laborers? Schultz Hardware is here to help! For the next 6 months if you buy your materials at one of our stores, we will help you with the renovations for a flat fee of just $100 a day. No matter how many people are needed for the job. You can’t find a better deal anywhere!
It went on from there, citing the specific improvements that Rosa’s home needed. As I flipped through, I saw that each one was addressed to a different person in the neighborhood. So this is why he carried his camera everywhere and had all those shots on his SD card. The one of Rosa half-dressed must have just been a fluke. I sighed with relief. He was just trying to generate more business and didn’t want to worry Cassie.
I grabbed the calendar and put everything else back in its place. On the way back to the living room, I saw that Cassie was in the kitchen and, as predicted, was refilling a tray with succulent raviolis. I scooted in to grab one and to give her the good news. As expected, her bespoke kitchen had everything I’d ever dreamed of. Including a large set of Messermeister knives.
“That’s great, thank you,” Cassie said, looking totally flustered.
“So you can stop worrying, okay?”
“Okay,” she answered only somewhat convincingly.
I tucked her response into the back of my mind.
* * *
“So, given that we know about when the drug shipment arrives, and when Tala will be deported, it looks like everything’s going to come to a head sometime Christmas week,” Sally said, standing back to survey the filled in boxes of the calendar.
“Perfect, that’s exactly when Marcie is coming with the grandkids.” Peggy was not happy.
“Well, hopefully we’ll have handed off enough evidence to Augie by then so that we can just relax and enjoy the holidays,” I soothed.
That seemed to make sense to everyone and they fell silent and tended to their wine.
“Now what?” asked Aimee, picking delicately at her slice of tart. Normally she wolfs down her food but she was still trying to shed some weight before the onslaught of Christmas confections. “I still think that we should leave this to the cops, they must realize by now that you’re not the murderer, Halsey. What if it is not any of those four, what if someone else had a bigger motive for Rosa needing to be dead?”
“That’s crazy,” said Cassie.
“But Aimee, I think we’ve made some great progress,” I said, looking at the running notes I’d been taking since the murder. “Once again, I believe that Musso and/or Tala are at the top of the list. I am leaning toward Tala, and here’s why:
• She was a mail-order bride summoned by a sugar daddy in Arizona
• When he rejected her, she found Musso, a softie dressed all in black
• No doubt she knows about his illegal business and is probably blackmailing him
• Her visa problems would be solved if she could get him to marry her
• But Tala found out that he has resisted because he’s in love with Rosa.”
“I’m still taking a real close look at Ray, especially now that we know Rosa’s will had been filed before her death, cutting him out any inheritance,” Peggy said. “Maybe Rosa was using the will change to force Ray into giving up his drug dealings, but it backfired and he killed her instead?” “You think that Inez is in on this with him?” Sally asked. She was still hoping that Ray was innocent.
“She may be just going along for the ride,” I said. “She’s got two kids and a sickly old mother. I don’t see how she’d have time for murder.”
“She has what?” Peggy asked and was quickly interrupted.
Before I could reply the two sequestered Chihuahuas came bolting down the stairs. We were all stunned and I saw Cassie turn fire engine red.
“TA-DAH! I want you to meet the two newest members of our family, Van Cleef and Arpels,” Cassie said, quickly composing herself.
Each sported bejeweled collars and orange nail polish just in time for Thanksgiving.
“Aren’t they just darling?” Cassie asked, gushing. “I’m going to give them the best money can buy!”
“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” Sally said.
Chapter 25
After Thanksgiving, which I’d enjoyed with Sally and Joe and her friends, I got hit with a serious case of loneliness. Jack had gone home for the holiday and most everyone on Rose Avenue was busy with relatives.
I’d decided to throw myself into making my home as festive as possible and that afternoon I set some time aside to hang Christmas lights outside. Marisol, obviously spying on me, came out and pretended to pick weeds out of the cracked asphalt in her driveway with BBQ tongs.
I have several lovely, big birch trees in front of my house and I wanted to string tiny white lights as high up as possible. My six-foot ladder didn’t quite allow me to reach my target top branch, so I ignored the ominous warning label and stepped on the very top platform. All was going well, but I really wanted to extend the lights to the very end of the branch. The shift in weight made the ladder, which wasn’t on level ground anyway, teeter and fall over. Quickly, I wrapped my arms around a limb, scraping my flesh on the rough bark but saving me from more serious damage. So there I dangled, for all passersby on Rose Avenue to see, wearing a lopsided Santa’s hat.
Marisol was there in a flash.
Have I ever actually seen her put one foot in front of the other?
While she uprighted the ladder I had a chance to survey the neighborhood from a totally new perspective. For example, I could now see over the fence in front of Sally and Joe’s house across the street.
“Hey, I thought this is the weekend that Sally and Joe were taking a two-day trip to the wineries in Paso Robles for his birthday?” I asked.
“Yeah it is, took his golf clubs too,” said Marisol as she quickly placed the ladder on level ground and climbed up to see what I was looking at.
“Then why is their front door open,” I asked, giving her an imploring look as I hung from the branch.
“I dunno, but I saw them leave. Lots of strange things going on here lately.”
Marisol was now perched comfortably on the ladder’s top rung, taking in the view. I wanted her to elaborate on the strange things but had a more pressing matter at the moment.
“A little help here?”
If I win the lottery, I’m buying her a cherry picker. With a mini fridge.
She finally got the hint, climbed down, and dragged the ladder over to me. “I’m going to call the cops.”
Oh no, not again.
The self-appointed “Mayor of Rose Avenue” was on a mission. I finished connecting my lights and plugged them into a timer connected to an outside outlet. This time I was staying completely out of any open doors on my street.
Marisol returned with a cushion from one of her kitchen chairs. She dragged the ladder over by my front steps where I was now recovering from my near death experience, and climbed on up, using the cushion to buffer her bony butt on the hard wood.
I guess she’s planning on setting a spell.
Not long after, the show began. From both ends of the street patrol cars appeared, I counted at least five. No sirens, no flashing lights. As the officers got out, they shouldered their rifles. Marisol recognized Augie and waved to him.
I hoped there was nothing wrong at their house but started thinking that all this police activity, with guns drawn, might flush out a murderer or two.
Augie didn’t seem to wonder or question why his aunt was sitting atop a ladder as she calmly explained the situation.
“I am just hanging Christmas lights, that is all,” I said.
Now to me, he looked askance. I guess it was okay to perch on a makeshift crow’s nest but something entirely different to be wearing a Santa hat in the middle of the day.
I heard a car start and saw Tala pulling out of her drive in a Porsche Cayenne. She was in such a rush that she hadn’
t adjusted the seat and looked very awkward trying to reach the pedals and the steering wheel at the same time.
I saw Marisol watching her as well.
Meanwhile across the street two pairs of cops pointing guns had formed a perimeter and were closing in on the house. Augie crossed the street to join them.
“What’s going on?” I asked, feeling like an idiot for asking this crazy old woman for a play-by-play, but I couldn’t see over the fence.
“They’re going up the front steps, and lining up on either side of the front door. Now, they’re going in!”
Well, at that moment I guess I crossed over to the dark side because I climbed up onto the porch railing using the vertical support post to pull me up. I needed to see for myself. Also, I figured if shots were fired from inside the house I could stand sideways and be protected by the whitewashed wood I was clinging to.
We watched in silence as they disappeared inside the house. After about five minutes, they started coming out. Augie came back to give us his report.
“There’s no sign of a break-in, although I did see a bowl of tiny zucchinis with flowers that were chopped into little pieces. That seemed a bit odd.”
“Squash blossoms, Joe’s favorite!” I exclaimed.
“You said they went on vacation? Is it possible they just forgot to shut their door?”
I saw Marisol shrug her shoulders.
“Well, we’ve closed the door but it is still unlocked. If you have their number, I suggest you contact them and let them know.”
“I’ve got a key, I’ll lock it,” Marisol said. “Don’t forget Sunday dinner, we’re meeting at Sizzler’s.”
He returned to the cars, and we watched as one by one they all drove off in different directions.
Godspeed, Officers.
Rose Avenue had been returned to its harmonious self.
Marisol back-stepped down the ladder as I hopped off the railing. We watched them go, and although we were happy that nothing had happened to Sally and Joe’s house, we did feel a little let down. That was when Marisol started laughing nonstop.
This woman really is about as crazy as an inflatable ashtray.
Finally I couldn’t take it any longer. “What’s so funny?”
She calmed down a bit and caught her breath.
“Did you see how fast that bitch raced out of here? I thought that she was going to slide off her seat and run right into one of them cop cars!”
That started another spate of guffaws, to which I joined in.
Crazy like a fox. Wait, she didn’t orchestrate this whole—Naaah.
I grabbed my cell, gave Sally a call, and told her about her door being open and the strange bowl of eviscerated squash blossoms.
“Impossible, Joe always double checks,” she said when I told her what had happened. “We almost didn’t go, Joe couldn’t find the golf shoes that match his plus fours. But then Cassie came over and literally packed us into the car.”
“Cassie?”
“Well, I guess I’m the next one on the list to be given a warning, but this is so very creepy and so damn personal. Ah well, we’re glad we went, we’re having a great time. Thanks so much for watching over us.”
I guess that Sally and Cassie are closer friends than I realized.
I looked over at Marisol who had given up any pretense of doing anything but spying.
“So come on, you live next door and I know you like to spy, er, keep tabs on the neighborhood, what can you tell me about exotic Tala.”
“I seen and hear things, those two fighting all the time. She does all the yelling, he usually ends up storming out and going for a drive.”
“What does she say when she’s yelling?”
“Stuff about how he doesn’t deserve her, some other guy paid good money to have her come here. How if he didn’t do this and that, she’d go to the cops. Tell them all about his car business and that he kidnapped her.”
“You get all that through the walls?”
“They going to leave their windows open then I guess they want me to hear what they’re saying.”
“What does he do?”
“Not much, but I can tell that he’s miserable.”
“Did you ever see her with Rosa? Maybe talking on the sidewalk?”
“HAH!”
“What’s hah?” I asked, backing away a bit. She was getting a crazed look in her eyes.
“Ooh, they had a knock down, drag out fight one day. Sounded like two hyenas were singing the National Anthem.”
“What happened?”
“Musso finally ran out and dragged Tala home. She was screaming at Rosa all the way into the house.”
“Have you told Augie about this?”
“I forgot, I’ll tell him on Sunday, before the family dinner.”
“He’ll want to know, this gives Tala motive. I guess Musso and Rosa once had a thing?”
“He loved her; they were going to get married but she called it off. Broke his damn heart.”
“How do you know all this?” I asked, but she had once again disappeared.
* * *
The next day started with a beautiful winter’s morning, perfect for a drive up into Malibu. The sky was an ice crisp blue and the Santa Ana winds calmed the ocean water to a glass-like surface.
As I headed north on PCH, I had to smile at the passing scenery. In some ways it was life as normal. Gardeners’ trucks were making the rounds, bikers were getting in their fifty uphill miles, and the Reel Inn seafood restaurant’s sign, which displays a different fish pun each day, was asking What If Cod Were One of Us ?
The people of Malibu had managed to work the holidays into the fabric of beach living. The palm trees were adorned with giant Christmas ornaments, forced-air inflated Santas dressed in swim trunks and sunglasses were waving at the passing vehicles, and many of the luxury cars were loaded up with both a surf board and a pine tree tied to the roof.
When I was in New York, if we saw images like this, we’d laughed at Californians’ air-headed simplicity and questionable taste. And harbor a secret desire to be transported there.
We turned off the highway and headed up a canyon road. Bardot’s nose was receiving tidal waves of scents, and she was squealing and fidgeting with excitement.
“Yes, we are going to visit Uncle Jack,” I said to her. At the mention of his name, she sat down quietly in the back.
Good to know . . .
Yes, after my outburst with Peggy, I’d done some soul searching and had given her crazy-sounding advice some thought. I decided to take the morning off so that we could surprise him. This time I was bringing lunch, and I was excited to see Bardot in action after all his training.
I had gone on the CARA website and saw that there was going to be a training session led by Mr. Jack Thornton. I did a run to the market, threw together a picnic, and Bardot and I headed out. I didn’t even stress about what I was wearing....
Okay, you know me better than that by now. After about fifteen minutes of closet trial and error, I chose a denim “boyfriend” shirt with a camisole underneath, white jeans, and Keds sneakers. I was going for an all American girl look.
God, it was beautiful up here. If money were no object, the best way to experience Southern California would be to have a house on the beach, one in the mountains, another in the Hollywood Hills, and a perched expanse on the Palos Verdes peninsula. I’d heard that there are wild peacocks roaming all over Palos Verdes. They’ve been running free since the 1920s. While beautiful at a distance, the noise and mess they create has spawned a cottage industry of all sorts of creature deterrents. My favorite is called “Terror Eyes” and I am thinking of carrying some around with me, just because.
These gems are inflatable two-foot balls with brightly colored 3D holographs of roving eyes that seem to follow you around. For under thirty dollars, you can scare the crap out of anything within one thousand square feet. Hours of fun for the entire family.
We turned into the CARA staging a
rea where I saw the rescue dog teams gearing up. I put the car in park and lowered the windows. It was seventy degrees, even up here. It wasn’t hard to pick out Jack, he towered over everyone and the sun reflected off of his shiny pate. He was having an animated conversation with a woman and her German shepherd. I could see her react to something he said and give him a light punch in the arm and laugh. He laughed as well and threw an arm around her shoulder.
That’s Jodi, I remember her from the last time.
I was surprised at my reaction. I felt heat rise up from my fingertips to my ears. It was fueled by both embarrassment and jealousy. All I knew was that I had to sneak out of there without him noticing me. I started the car. As I was about to put it in gear, Bardot saw Jack and jumped out the window.
“Shit, shit, shit,” I whispered, pounding my fist on the steering wheel. I watched her run up to Jack and do her usual “sit and wait for a command.”
“Bardot, what are you doing here?” he said, looking around for me.
Since I was busted, there was nothing left to do but get out of the car. He walked toward me with Bardot dutifully at his side.
“Hey, I didn’t know you guys were working up here today. It’s such a beautiful morning that Bardot and I decided to go for a hike,” I explained, trying to sell it with a smile.
Why do I keep thinking I can fool an animal behaviorist?
“Really? Your car is running, did you change your mind?”
He caught me casting a quick glance toward Jodi, who was watching the entire exchange.
“Just cooling off the car,” I said, heading back to it.
Sooo lame.
He cocked his head and gave me a look and a smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re here, it’s a perfect time for me to show you what Bardot can do.”
“Perfect time? I’m not so sure,” I said, watching Jodi and her dog approach.
“What, why?”
He got his answer as Jodi and her dog joined us. I didn’t know if they had any relationship besides CARA, but I knew damn well that Jodi was trying to protect what she had and go for more.
“Hi, I’m Jodi,” she said in a booming “outside voice,” extending her hand.
Full Bodied Murder Page 14