Wicked Witches of the Midwest 9

by Amanda M. Lee

  I caught glimpses of magical wisps as they darted around us, myriad colors brightening the darkness as we created a new light to entice the spirits. The overlapping chants built to a crescendo as the sky split with lightning and thunder shook the deck.

  “Did you do that?” Marcus asked, nervous.

  That was a good question. I risked a glance at Aunt Tillie and found a puzzled look on her face.

  “I don’t think we did that,” Thistle said, glancing around. “I … do you hear that?”

  I didn’t at first, but once she said the words I recognized the telltale sounds of whispers on the wind. The sky picked that moment to open up. Rain pelted down on us and I could hear something in my head – it sounded like drums, which I instinctively knew was ridiculous. There’s no other way to describe it, though.

  “What’s going on?” Sam yelled over the sound of the wind. “Is this what you expected to happen?”

  “Not even close,” Aunt Tillie said grimly, clenching her jaw as she stared at the far end of the deck.

  I followed her gaze, my stomach constricting when I saw the streaks of light heading in our direction.

  “What is that?” Landon asked, stepping toward me.

  “It’s the inhabitants of the ship,” Aunt Tillie replied. “They’re extremely ticked off.”

  “What do we do?” Marcus asked, terrified. “Should we run?”

  “I think it’s too late to go down the ladder,” Sam said, racing toward the side of the tanker that faced away from the dock. “We need to jump.”

  “Are you crazy?” Clove barked, horrified. “We’ll die.”

  “It’s not that far down,” Sam argued. “It might hurt a little bit, but we’ll hardly die.”

  “What about Aunt Tillie?” Thistle asked. “She can’t make it over the railing.”

  Landon already figured that out on his own. He scooped Aunt Tillie in his arms and raced toward the side of the tanker.

  “Knock that off!” Aunt Tillie shrieked, smacking his shoulders. “It’s undignified. I don’t need to be carried like an infant.”

  “I don’t have time to mess with you,” Landon snapped, shifting her over the edge and meeting her gaze. “If you curse me for this, just remember that I’m trying to save your life.”

  Those were the last words he said before dropping Aunt Tillie over the side of the tanker. I heard a splash seconds later … and then a string of curse words I hadn’t heard leave her mouth since I was a teenager. I turned back toward the approaching ghosts – they were close enough now that I could see their eyes glowing red with fury – and sighed.

  “What do you want?” I asked.

  The ghosts didn’t answer, and I was forced to turn away from them when Landon grabbed my arm.

  “Come on, Bay,” Landon ordered, pulling me in the direction of the railing. “We’re leaving right now.”

  “But … .”

  Landon firmly shook his head. I could see Marcus and Sam helping Thistle and Clove over the railing. “We’re going, sweetie,” he said. “It’s not safe here. I know you want to protect Annie, but we’re going to have to think of a different way.”

  I merely nodded. Landon helped me climb over the rail and met my gaze before I took the plunge.

  “I love you,” Landon said. I didn’t get a chance to respond, because he unclasped his hand from mine and shoved me before jumping after me.

  I hit the water hard, the cold water stinging. I was momentarily confused as the dark underwater smacked against me, but somehow I managed to right myself and surface. I gasped for air and almost jumped out of my skin when Landon slipped his arm around my waist.

  “Are you okay?”

  I nodded as I gave him a hug. Then I remembered the rest of my family and turned to find everyone moving toward the dock. “Is everyone okay?”

  “Other than our pride, we’re fine,” Thistle said, treading water near the dock ladder. “I don’t think that’s what Aunt Tillie had in mind when she decided to force them toward the light, do you?”

  I shook my head and found Aunt Tillie’s gaze. “Now what?”

  “Don’t worry,” Aunt Tillie said. “I have an idea.”

  More frightening words were never spoken.

  “Well, great,” Landon muttered. “If I have to carry her up that ladder again, there’s going to be a mutiny. I’m just warning you now.”

  “Oh, hey, I just realized I got out of carrying her down,” Marcus mused, grinning. “Tonight must be my lucky night.”

  “I’m totally going to beat your ass when we get on dry land,” Landon said. “You’ve been warned.”

  “And yet I still feel lucky.”

  THIRTY

  “How do you feel?”

  Landon was warm as he snuggled closer the next morning, pushing my hair from my face so he could study my features. I could already tell my bedhead was completely out of control. We took the bath Landon seemed eager for before the séance went to hell and then turned in with wet hair. His messy hair made him look handsome. I had a feeling I resembled something scraped off the bottom of your feet during a pedicure.

  “I’m okay,” I said, resting my cheek against his chest. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay.” Landon rubbed the back of my neck. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get out of bed. “What happened last night was … odd.”

  I snorted. “That’s a nice way of putting it,” I said, leaning my head back so I could look at his face. He seemed well rested and awake, but looks can be deceiving. “Did you sleep?”

  “I slept hard,” Landon answered. “I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.”

  “Did you have nightmares?” I had no idea why I asked, because for some reason I knew he did.

  “I had a few wild dreams,” Landon replied. “One involved you and a coconut shell bikini.”

  “Landon … .”

  “I had a few nightmares, too,” Landon conceded. “I kept seeing ghosts chasing you. There might’ve been some fire involved as well. Don’t worry about it. I think our two cases are converging in my head. It’s to be expected.”

  I wasn’t so sure. “I’m sorry things went so wrong last night.”

  “That’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

  “I’m still sorry,” I offered. “You wouldn’t have even been on the tanker if it wasn’t for me.”

  “Bay, there are a lot of things I regret in life,” Landon said. “I once shaved my hair into a mohawk, for example. That was not a smart move. I don’t for a second regret going on that tanker with you.”

  “You had a mohawk?”

  Landon grinned. “Why doesn’t it surprise me that you latched onto that?”

  “Do you have photos?” I pressed. “I would love to see what you looked like as a kid. I’ll bet you were cute.”

  “I’ll ask my mother to scan some in and email them to me,” Landon said. “You have to show me photos of when you were a kid, too. That only seems fair.”

  “You saw me when I was a kid,” I reminded him. “We were trapped in Aunt Tillie’s memories. How could you forget that?”

  “I’ll never forget that, but I still want to see the photos,” Landon said, stroking the back of my head. “Speaking of Aunt Tillie, what do you think she meant when she said she had another idea?”

  “Nothing good.”

  “I already figured that out myself,” Landon said. “She seemed surprised by what happened last night. I don’t think she was expecting it.”

  “None of us were expecting it,” I said. “We thought we would be drawing the spirits to us so we could talk. If everything went as planned, we would be able to help them move on. Instead, they went after us and we didn’t even get a chance to talk to them.”

  “Maybe they can’t talk,” Landon suggested. “Maybe they’re warped ghosts or something.”

  I chuckled, delighted. “I think all ghosts are warped in some form,” I said. “If they were well-balanced they wouldn’t remain beh
ind. As for the rest, I think the power of living together has somehow corrupted them. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

  “Well, we’ll figure it out,” Landon soothed, stroking my hair. “I think Aunt Tillie considers it a challenge to go after them.”

  I had a feeling he was right. “She’s not going to take any prisoners when we face off with them again. She doesn’t like being made a fool.”

  “That goes for both of us,” Landon said. “I don’t care what happens, though, I’m not carrying her up that ladder again. That was the worst climb ever.”

  I giggled. “Did your hands slip?”

  “Into places I didn’t know existed,” Landon said, kissing my cheek. “So, how would you feel about a shower and a big breakfast? I have a feeling we’re going to have a long day ahead of us.”

  “How about we cuddle for five more minutes and then take a shower?” I countered.

  “Sold.” Landon tightened his arms around me, seemingly content and happy. Then he spoke again. “Do you think there will be bacon for breakfast?”

  I couldn’t stop myself from groaning. “Seriously? Is there ever not bacon when you’re here?”

  “I keep thinking there will be a bacon shortage one day,” Landon admitted. “Those will be dark times. It will be like the zombie apocalypse. I’m worried I’ll lose my will to live if that happens.”

  “You’re a strange man, Landon Michaels.”

  “And I love a strange woman,” Landon said. “Get your cuddling in. I need bacon, woman.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Landon smirked. “Okay, you can have an extra five minutes of cuddling for calling me sir.”

  “Do you find that a turn-on?”

  “I find everything you do a turn-on.”

  “Oh, and for that you can have my serving of bacon, too,” I said, laughing as he tickled me.

  “I always knew we were the perfect couple.”

  “OH, GROSS,” Aunt Tillie said, making a face as Landon and I walked through the back door of the inn shortly before breakfast. She sat in her usual spot on the couch in front of the television, a dour look on her face. “I think you guys have been sinning all morning, haven’t you?”

  Landon arched a challenging eyebrow. “Sinning? I don’t really consider it that. Although … that somehow makes it dirtier and more appealing. Yes, Aunt Tillie, we’ve been sinning our tails off.”

  I snorted as Aunt Tillie made a horrified face. “Ignore him,” I said. “We haven’t been sinning. We slept in and then got ready for breakfast. That’s all we’ve done this morning.”

  “I’m not stupid,” Aunt Tillie said, getting to her feet. “I am hungry, though. Your mother said we couldn’t eat until you guys showed up because we have a lot to discuss.”

  My mouth dropped open when I got a full gander at Aunt Tillie’s wardrobe choice for the day. She was wearing leggings again – which shouldn’t have been a surprise – but this pair was somehow worse than the rest combined. They featured a bevy of dragons swooping around castles, but the biggest dragon was strategically located in her crotch and appeared to be blowing fire in a specific spot.

  “Aunt Tillie!” I was flabbergasted.

  “I see my outfit has the exact effect I was looking for,” Aunt Tillie said, puffing out her chest. “That’s a good thing. I can’t wait for your mother to see it.”

  That’s a good thing? That was hardly a good thing. “Aunt Tillie, those leggings are obscene,” I said. “That dragon is … .”

  “Smiting his enemies,” Aunt Tillie supplied. “That’s exactly what I want him to do.”

  I risked a glance at Landon and found him to be just as mesmerized as me. “You need to stop staring at it,” I whispered. “People will think you’re a pervert.”

  “I’m pretty sure that memo has already been sent,” Aunt Tillie said. She seemed delighted by our reactions, which meant my mother and aunts would melt down in terrible fashion.

  “I can’t look away,” Landon muttered. “That dragon is staring at me. I think he wants to kill me.”

  “I think it wants to kill everyone,” I said, grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the kitchen. “Don’t look. Think of it as Medusa. If you stare too long, you’ll turn to stone.”

  “Turning to stone would be preferable to seeing that.” Landon let me lead him away, yet he kept staring as Aunt Tillie followed us. “Seriously … turn me to stone.”

  “You can’t eat bacon if you turn to stone,” I pointed out.

  “Huh. For once I found something that’s stronger than the lure of bacon,” Landon said. “I just … I think I might pass out.”

  He wasn’t the only one.

  We found everyone else sitting around the dining room table. Annie was there, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, excitedly chatting with Marcus. Other than Maggie and Richard, the only people in attendance were friends and family. That was good, because we had a lot to discuss.

  “How was your night?” Chief Terry asked Landon, grinning. “I heard you had to … oh, holy hell!” Aunt Tillie stepped out from behind Landon, and Chief Terry caught sight of her leggings.

  “That’s what you get for making fun of me,” Landon said. He was feigning being blasé, but I could tell he was still rattled by the sight of Aunt Tillie in her newest ensemble. “You were going to make jokes, and now you’re scarred for life. I believe that’s called karma.”

  “What is that?” Mom asked, her hand flying to her mouth. “Is that … .”

  “It’s Smaug,” I said, smirking. “He’s about to kill all of the townspeople to protect his … cave of gold.”

  Landon barked out a laugh as Mom frowned.

  “That is not funny, Bay!” Mom exploded. “That is not funny at all!”

  Despite being traumatized, I couldn’t help but find it a little bit funny. “She’s your aunt.”

  “Where are the dwarves when you need them?” Thistle intoned, her face ashen as she stared at the dragon. “We need Bard. Someone get Bard.”

  “What are you talking about?” Clove asked, confused. “Why would singing help? I can sing if you think that will frighten away the dragons.”

  Clove’s offer was enough to snap Thistle out of her reverie. “No one needs to hear you sing,” Thistle snapped. “That’s cruel and unusual punishment for everyone. I would much rather put up with the dragons than your singing.”

  “You’re just jealous,” Clove sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “I think you have a lovely singing voice, honey,” Sam said, patting her shoulder. “Now is not the time for song, though. Thistle was talking about Bard from The Hobbit. She wasn’t asking for a bard.”

  “Oh.” Clove wrinkled her nose. “Who is Bard? Bay and Thistle made me watch the movies, but I got really bored because there were a ton of hot guys but none of them took their shirts off.”

  Now it was my turn to make a face. “You’re a disgrace to fantasy fans everywhere.”

  “I never said I was a fantasy fan.”

  “We’re getting off track,” Mom said, her voice strangled as she stared down Aunt Tillie. “Where did you get those leggings?”

  “The internet.” Aunt Tillie didn’t seem bothered by Mom’s attitude. In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it. That spoke volumes about Aunt Tillie’s personality. Whatever war she’d been waging was won. I had no doubt about that. No one could look in the face of the dragon and not cede the war.

  “You cannot wear those leggings,” Mom snapped. “They’re … terrible.”

  “I think they’re neat,” Aunt Tillie said, a pretty smile on her face as she sat in her usual chair and reached for her napkin. “They weren’t expensive either. I’m thinking of ordering more. They have some with big phallic snakes that I’m interested in.”

  “Don’t even think about it,” Mom seethed, extending a finger. “You’ll be sorry if you do.”

  I had no idea who Mom was talking to because Aunt Tillie had already won and everybody knew it.r />
  “Can someone pass the pancakes?” Aunt Tillie asked, purposely avoiding eye contact with Mom as she stared down the table. “I need the syrup, too.”

  “Apparently the dragons are ravenous,” Landon muttered.

  I shoved the bacon platter in his direction. “Eat up, hon. You’re going to need the fuel if you expect to make it through the day with those dragons without passing out.”

  Mom sat slumped in her chair as Aunt Tillie focused on her breakfast. For a few blissful minutes the only sound filling the room was flatware clinking against plates. That all changed when Annie decided to speak.

  “The ghosts are still around,” she announced. “I saw them through the window last night.”

  “We know the ghosts are around,” I said, forcing a smile. “We tried to talk to them last night, but … well … it didn’t work out very well.”

  “You can say that again,” Thistle said. “That water was cold and I think it stunned my … dragon … when we landed.” She laughed hollowly at her own joke as Mom, Marnie and Twila glared at her. “Oh, that’s funny! We’re going to get so much mileage out of those dragons.”

  “We’re never going to speak about the dragons again,” Mom corrected. “Aunt Tillie is going to retire the dragons and we’re going to burn them during the autumnal equinox.”

  “Oh, that sounds delightful,” Aunt Tillie said. “You’ll have to pry them off my cold, dead thighs, though.”

  Landon reached for another slice of bacon and kept his focus on his plate. “We need to talk about the bigger problem,” he said. “Your plan clearly backfired last night. We can’t go on that tanker a second time without being better prepared.”

  “My plan didn’t backfire,” Aunt Tillie argued. “Everything went exactly according to plan.”

  “We ended up in the lake,” Thistle pointed out.

  “It was cold and it hurt when we landed,” Clove added.

  “But it told us a lot about our enemy,” Aunt Tillie said. “I know exactly what to do now.”

  “Oh, I’m almost afraid to ask,” Landon said, pressing the heel of his hand to his forehead. “What are we going to do?”