His Brown-Eyed Girl

by Liz Talley

  She had to open her world so she could breathe.

  After finding the photos, she’d been ready to pull the gates shut and man all stations to protect herself from every potential hurt…including Lucas.

  Her initial reaction was to blame him for letting her guard down. He’d invaded her world and she’d let things slide—forgetting her cell phone and not feeling the presence of danger. Allowing the Finlay children in her house, leaving doors unlocked and distracting her from her vigilance had seemed a huge mistake. She should have kept her mouth—and her legs—shut.

  But maybe Shelia was right. If she tossed away what she thought she had with Lucas because of Robbie, who would win?

  Not her.

  Perhaps a leap of faith was long overdue. Tonight she could tell Lucas about Robbie and the threats and show all her cards. No more shutting emotional doors with him. If they ended badly, it wouldn’t be because she’d hidden her past from him on any level. Sharing her fears with Lucas, being honest about who she was and what she wanted could only be the right thing…unless Lucas didn’t want to bother with a woman who had a huge helping of crazy on her plate.

  Her stomach heaved as nerves latched hold. She reached for an antacid and glanced out the window as if Robbie might suddenly appear.

  In the blink of an eye her life had changed.

  *

  MONDAY NIGHTS made Lucas want to drink. In fact, he now held a tumbler of scotch and soda. He’d found some Glenlivet in the pantry behind the saltines.

  He’d intended to find some time to see Addy, but between massive amounts of homework, taking Charlotte to dance class where she did nothing more than hop around for fifty bucks, and picking Michael up from lacrosse, he hadn’t made it over and it was almost ten o’clock.

  “Uncle Lucas!” Chris called, his high-pitched voice slamming into Lucas from upstairs as he was finally sinking into the recliner.

  “No more water. You’ll wet the bed,” he called up, not moving even a toe. Damn, he was tired out.

  “I forgot to tell you I have to go to Nola tomorrow and I gotta have my bike.”

  “What’s Nola?”

  “It’s my racing school,” Chris called down, with the slightest hint of “duh” in his voice.

  “We’ll talk in the morning,” Lucas yelled, praying Charlotte didn’t wake up. He’d read Creampie and Calico Kitten three times before she’d finally closed her eyes.

  “I gotta go. Mr. Pete wants to do my qualifying.” Chris was anything if not persistent.

  “Okay. We’ll get it set up.”

  “’Night,” Chris called.

  “’Night,” Lucas returned, closing his eyes and pretending the messy living room away.

  But it wouldn’t be messy for long.

  New beginnings.

  After declaring he’d put the past behind him with Courtney and Ben, Lucas had decided he’d start in a literal manner. This morning he’d gone to the home improvement store, matched the paint on the porches and started the sanding process. He’d worked all day preparing to repaint the porches, and he’d called a maid service to give the house a good cleaning. He figured the last thing on his sister-in-law’s mind would be cleaning and repairing. If Lucas wasn’t going to get much of his work done, he might as well get the house in better shape.

  But the sanding, stripping and taking care of kids had taken its toll. He needed a minute to sit.

  The vision of a laughing Addy flitted across his mind. She’d been such a sight, laid out naked on that bed, talking about how much she loved watching The Big Bang Theory and how she’d once romanced the idea of being a microbiologist. Her hair had fallen messily around her pretty face and her warm whiskey eyes had glowed with good humor. She’d been the sexiest thing he’d ever seen and she’d filled up his heart.

  Was this love?

  He’d told Addy he didn’t believe in romantic love…but that wasn’t necessarily true. Yesterday’s conversation had taken a strange turn and he’d panicked. Seeing the disappointment on her face told him all he needed to know—he’d screwed up.

  He’d always believed love wasn’t something found as easily as it seemed to be in movies or books. Commitment was built on mutual respect, friendship and like goals. Not a business arrangement per say, but more like two like-minded people choosing to travel the hard road of life together.

  He’d always thought lasting love had to be intentional and chosen by both parties involved…and that was why it hadn’t worked with him and Courtney—she’d turned her back on commitment to him.

  But with Addy things felt different.

  So had he been wrong all this time?

  Lucas shifted deeper into the warmth of the recliner and sighed at the sweet silence. He’d seen Addy earlier, following some guy wearing a navy jumpsuit, nodding as he pointed out what looked to be a new security system.

  He wanted to see her again, taste her again and find out about that security system. But he needed a few more minutes to decompress.

  Shouldn’t she have already had one installed? In fact, Courtney and Ben needed one, too. When he went over to Addy’s to say good-night, he’d get the guy’s card and see about adding one here.

  He yawned and sighed again.

  And fell asleep.

  Chapter Nineteen

  ADDY POURED ANOTHER cup of coffee and tried not to look out toward the Finlay house.

  Lucas hadn’t come by last night like he’d said. Something about his easy dismissal of her stung. He’d struck her as a man of his word, so perhaps something had come up? But that was part of her issue—man of his word. What did she really know about Lucas? She’d known him for two weeks, hardly long enough to truly know what kind of man he was.

  Logic told her it was a good enough reason to forget about their budding relationship and focus on her present. Just like the orchid she’d snipped weeks ago right before Chris had crashed into her world, his uncle trailing, she’d have to cull the weak part of herself to protect the whole. Her strong intentions of opening herself to Lucas and the potential for something more than a weekend together had dissipated as doubt grabbed her. Shelia had been wrong about going to Lucas.

  Addy had needed Lucas…and he’d failed her.

  She eyed the alarm system panel, its red light blinking, feeling comforted about the protection it brought and about how easy it was to use. After waiting up with a kettle of hot water and two cups of chamomile tea for her and Lucas, she’d armed the system and gone to bed, aggravated he’d baled on her when she needed him most. She’d expected not to sleep a wink, but she’d slept hard and dreamless.

  “Morning, buttercup,” Aunt Flora said, rubbing her eyes and looking around for the coffeepot.

  “It hasn’t moved,” Addy said, pointing toward where the Bunn coffeemaker always sat.

  “I know that,” Aunt Flora said peevishly, schlepping over in her ratty old slippers. “I may be old, but I ain’t stupid.”

  “Never said you were.”

  Flora sighed. “You’re as grumpy as I am.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” Addy conceded.

  “Would you mind going over the alarm system with me again? I’m still foggy on it.”

  “Sure.” Addy struggled to her feet and beckoned Flora over. After showing her repeatedly what to push, she decided it would be easier to make Flora a cheat sheet and put it by the phone near the door. After writing out the procedure and taping it to the counter, she turned to go get dressed for the day, but she saw a dark head appear in the back door window.

  Her heart leaped into her throat.

  She refocused. Not Robbie.

  Lucas.

  Flora opened the door and the alarm shrieked.

  “Oh, dear,” Flora screeched, her hands flapping as she lunged toward the security pad and started jabbing random numbers.

  Addy covered her ears and hurried over. “Don’t just push numbers,” she yelled, tapping the card.

  Flora read the instructions. Finally, the shrieking of th
e alarm stopped.

  “Oh, Lord, I’m sorry. I panicked.” Flora looked as if she might cry. “We never should have let your father put that thing in.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” Addy said, patting her aunt’s back. “It’s new for both of us and there’s a learning curve. We’ll get the hang of it.”

  “This is the reason I need to get out of your hair. I’m a liability,” Aunt Flora said.

  “That’s not true,” Addy said, knowing it was indeed a little true. But she didn’t want Aunt Flora moving out. She didn’t want her world to change, but she guessed the good Lord wasn’t listening because she’d been turned on her ear.

  While Addy had dealt with the alarm, Lucas had stood patiently inside the door, strong, silent and looking a bit stressed.

  Addy turned to him, lifting a questioning eyebrow.

  “Sorry about last night. Sounds lame, but I fell asleep in the recliner,” he said, giving her a sheepish shrug. “Guess between the busy weekend and all the kids’ activities I wore out.”

  Logical reason, but still Addy felt out of sorts. She’d wanted to share her fears, her revelations…that having a partner in the floral shop freed her to travel to, say, West Texas upon occasion. But now in the light of the morning, the whole thing sounded asinine. She’d been naive to think she meant more to him than what she was—a friend and onetime lover.

  “I’ve got to run—Michael has to make up a test early, but I wanted you to know why I couldn’t come by for tea.” He gave her a wicked smile, but instead of inflaming her, it made her uncomfortable.

  Fine. Things happened. She understood. Still, she pulled away from him and all he represented.

  Part of her protection?

  Or maybe her inner alarm system told her it was time to shut that part of her life down for the time being. She’d thought she was ready to take what they had a step further, but now she wanted to do nothing more than draw her defenses around her.

  “No big deal,” she said, trying to sound casual and not like Aunt Flora when she forgot where the coffeemaker was. “Monday’s exhausting for me, too.”

  He smiled. “Good. Thought I had screwed up. And speaking of screwing up, I wanted to talk to you about that last conversation we had Sunday.”

  “What conversation?”

  “About—” The horn honked in the adjacent driveway.

  “Better go,” Addy said, feeling like her words held more meaning than the obvious.

  He moved toward her as if he might steal a kiss, but Addy gave a slight shake of her head.

  He frowned. “Later?”

  “Maybe.” She tried to smile but her face felt tight.

  His eyes narrowed but the horn sounded again. “I’ll come by tonight after I get home. I need to talk to you…Ben is coming home this weekend.”

  Addy’s heart pinched as dread sank into the pit of her stomach. He was leaving. For good. Something about that finality, about the casual way he said it like it was no big deal to go back to Texas, made her feel so much more fragile than expected. Yesterday after talking to Shelia, she’d felt strong, but now she felt frayed around the edges, clinging to wholeness, knowing it was impossible to hold herself together.

  Lucas leaving New Orleans, leaving her, festered like an open wound.

  Hah.

  She’d fallen in love with Lucas at the absolute worst time in her life and the bitter irony rubbed her like a new shoe.

  The horn sounded again. Three sharp beeps and then a long drawn-out wail.

  “Go,” she said.

  So he did.

  Flora closed the door and shot Addy a puzzled look. “What’s up with you this morning?”

  “Besides the fact Robbie is out there on the streets and Lucas stood me up last night?” Addy said, dumping her cup into the sink.

  “I see,” Flora said, crossing the kitchen, half-full mug of coffee in hand.

  Addy waited for her aunt to explain, but she said nothing else. “What do you see?”

  “The same girl I’ve always seen. Pushing back, drawing in, closing ranks to protect herself.”

  Throwing her half-eaten bagel in the retro trash can, Addy put her hands on her hips. “What? I shouldn’t do that? The man who nearly raped and killed me and who still stalks me is out there somewhere, and Lucas is leaving this weekend. No sense in pretending this will have a happy ending.”

  “Oh, my dear, if you expect to get shit on, you will.” Flora finished filling her mug and walked out.

  Frowning, Addy followed her aunt, but she didn’t try to make her understand the reality of her situation. Aunt Flora had been in her shoes before, but hadn’t even tried to change Mr. O’Boyle’s mind. Even if she had made her feelings known, he likely wouldn’t have left his wife, children or the life he’d created because of Flora’s love. It was easy for her to spout off advice when she hadn’t taken the risk herself.

  Addy knew what needed to be done—she needed to end things with Lucas and focus on protecting herself against the immediate threat. After all, what good would it do to tell Lucas about Robbie and the threats over the years? He wouldn’t be here to protect her.

  So she’d protect herself. On all fronts.

  And like her aunt, she would cling to the memory of what she’d had with Lucas. Two days of sun-filled, happy memories—a lifetime packed into a weekend.

  Small comfort in her lonely life, but better than no comfort at all. She had no regrets about Sunday…but she wasn’t about to leave herself open for more hurt in her future.

  *

  LUCAS HAD SPENT the day working on the front porch. He’d put a new coat of glossy black paint on the chairs and started painting the porch flooring while the rockers dried in the sunshine. The day had been gorgeous and it had felt good to have warmth on his shoulders and purpose in his stride. He was a walking John Denver song.

  Tuesday afternoon had gone much more smoothly than the day before. Homework was light and Michael had no activities and thus could watch Charlotte while Lucas took Chris to his motocross practice. He’d never understood why his brother and sister-in-law had allowed Chris to participate in such a dangerous activity, but after seeing the boy on the bike, leaning into curves, looking like he’d been born on a motorbike, he understood. Chris had a passion for going fast…and perhaps channeling his reckless spirit into something he loved gave respite.

  The kid’s qualifying time seemed to please his coach and the Nola Springtime Classic was set for Friday night.

  Maybe Addy would want to go with him. Could be fun watching the daredevil, who’d caused them to meet school some kids older than him on the course.

  So once he got the kids in bed, he grabbed a bottle of chilled Riesling and walked over to Addy’s.

  She’d left the back porch light on and opened the door before he even stepped onto the concrete steps.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He hoped the gift of wine and his silver tongue would erase any lingering aggravation. He’d felt horrible about standing her up last night, but knew she’d understand. If anything, Addy got him, and that was what had him thinking about their future together. Surely, fate had handed him a gift when he’d agreed to come watch his niece and nephews, and he wasn’t interested in returning this gift. He thought he might like to keep Addy forever.

  “Hey.” She stepped back so he could slip inside. She popped her head out and looked around before closing the door and sliding the dead bolt in place.

  “Locking me in your lair?” he cracked as he sat the bottle on the counter and opened a cabinet door, looking for the crystal she’d brought out on Sunday. “Don’t worry. I’m not running from you, babe.”

  “Don’t.” Addy dropped her head and shook it.

  “You don’t want wine?” he asked, reaching for her, sliding his hands around her waist.

  “No, and please don’t,” she tugged at his hands, stepping back from him.

  “What’s wrong with you?”

  She lifted her eyes and in the depths he sa
w something he didn’t want to see—dismay.

  “Addy?”

  “Look, I don’t want things to get weird, but this morning I realized the moment I dreaded was here—you said you were leaving and that got me thinking about what we’ve been doing.”

  “I’ve been thinking about what we’ve been doing all day long.” He reached for her again, wanting to knock down the bricks of distrust she piled between them. He wanted his sweet, funny Addy back.

  “Seriously.” She pushed against him. “I need you to stop.”

  “What’s wrong?” Lucas dropped his hands and crossed them over his chest. “You’re shutting me out…because I’m leaving?”

  Addy sucked in a deep breath and refused to make eye contact. “Look, we both know this was a moment in time sort of thing. We live in two different worlds. Sunday was great, but I think since you’ve got things under control and since you’re leaving in a few days, we should stop hanging out.”

  “Why?” He raked his eyes over her, trying to figure out why she’d grown so cold. There had been no indication on Sunday night she didn’t want to continue what they had. What had happened to change her mind in such a short time?

  “Because.”

  “Your answer is ‘because’?”

  She lifted her gaze to his. “I don’t have regrets, but I don’t want to—” she stopped and seemed to gather herself.

  Lucas waited, giving her room.

  “Truth?” she asked.

  “It’s usually the best policy.”

  She bit her lip. “You and the kids are distracting, and I need to go back to my world. These past few days have been a fun interlude, but reality is knocking, Lucas. For both of us. Time to get on with our lives.”

  Her words were cold water down his back. He’d never expected this from her. “So you’re done with us? That’s what this is?”