by Anya Summers
The last thing he needed was to get emotionally involved with Lucy. But after last night, he knew he was already walking a hazy line. His normal Dom tendency to protect what he considered his had reared its damn head after their last bout of sex. He mourned for the little girl who had known nothing but a horrible nightmare in her early years. And something told him she hadn't given him all of the story. Not that he had told the whole truth, either—hardly the ideal beginning if they were going to have a true Dominant/submissive relationship. Jesse didn't even know if he could submit long term. Sure, in the interim, as he attempted to put his life back together, it was great. But how would he feel, six months from now, or a year? Because he could totally see himself with Lucy.
She had a wicked sense of humor, knew how to laugh and play—which, from the hard start she'd gotten in life, was a testament to her spirit—drove him absolutely wild whenever she laid a hand on him, and had begun clawing her way inside his chest. He had wanted to protect her last night, to cuddle her and make all her sorrows go away so that he could see her saucy grin. He'd fought himself, his urges to protect his woman, and had relented all control up to her.
"Well hello, Master," a vivacious voice from his past murmured behind his shoulder. He swore internally as he swiveled to find Veronica. She was as beautiful as ever, looking just like a Swedish cover model, and wore nothing but a burgundy negligée that stopped just below her rear. She had always liked putting herself on display. It was something that had drawn him to her in the first place. That and her mile long legs. Except any sexual attraction he felt for her, had been another life. In the clear light of day, unimpeded by drugs and alcohol, her edges were just a bit too sharp for his liking anymore. He far preferred rounded curves and hair the color of a fiery sunset.
"I'm not your Master, Veronica. Please do not call me that." It irked him that she was here; spoiling the first good mood he'd had in months.
She pouted in what was probably, in her mind, a come hither glance. "Pew, haven't you missed me? I've been waiting for you to come back to Monaco."
"Veronica, we were never that serious, you knew that. I'm sorry if you thought it was different than that, but I can't be with you." Veronica represented all the trappings of his old life. None of it, of who he used to be before the accident, held any appeal for him. Hell, even if FIA only issued a suspension instead of a lifetime ban, he wasn't certain he could ever return. That little nugget made his hackles rise as Veronica whined and rubbed up against him.
"Well, maybe…"
He despised whiners. And he didn't like that her touch tainted Lucy's scent on him. Sleeping with Veronica had been a mistake, in the long list of mistakes he'd made in his life before the accident. Jesse cut her off, removed her hands from his chest. "No. I don't want you. I'm sorry, but you shouldn't have come here."
A murderous glint entered her frosted ice blue eyes as she stomped her foot. Then, with a swirl of dramatics, she harkened back into her room with a 'fuck you' vibe rippling off her.
"You'll be sorry you ever gave up all this," Veronica tossed over her shoulder as she slammed the door shut. The sound reverberated down the hall.
All he could do was breathe a sigh of relief and issue up a prayer that she wouldn't cause any trouble for him. Although, knowing her, and he did, she was a vicious little harpy who tended to lash out when she didn't get her way. How had he ever found himself attracted to her? He must have been thinking solely with his dick at the time.
Jesse continued on to his room, his good mood had all but been extinguished after their little encounter. Veronica represented everything that had destroyed his career and his life. Everything he'd allowed to destroy him. He knew deep down he could never go back to being the self-serving jackass he'd been, more concerned with having a good time than actually taking responsibility for his life. Jesse wasn't sure where that left him. Did he even want to go back to racing if they only gave him a suspension instead of a lifetime ban?
He had no answer. If he wasn't a racer, then what was he other than an unemployed bum living off the bevels of society? What type of career could a washed up racer have? He had no skills other than what he could do behind the wheel and under the hood of a car. His blood pressure spiked as he slammed into his room and checked his phone. He had two messages. One from Declan's team of lawyers, and another one from a number he didn't recognize.
He listened to the first message.
"Jesse Noble, this is Theo Brown, head counsel from Apex. I wanted to bring it to your attention that the FIA wants a formal hearing with you. I know you're out of Monaco, but I wanted to see if you could come to our offices in London in the next week. If you could call me at…"
He listened to the number, jotting it down on a notepad. And then the second message played.
"I'm trying to reach Jesse Noble. This is Francois Dupre from the Paris Daily Times wanting your statement regarding the FIA's governing board decision. If you could please contact me as soon as you get my message, I can be reached at…"
Jesse sank onto his bed, and laying the phone down; he put his head in his hands. First Veronica, and now this. A decision had been made. Did he even want to know? Not really. But that was the coward's way of dealing, and the last time he checked, he wasn't a coward.
He shifted and picked up his phone, taking a deep breath as he called Theo Brown.
"Apex Industries, how may I direct your call?" A woman's voice chirped through his phone.
"Theo Brown, please. Please tell him Jesse Noble is returning his call." He blew out a breath. He could feel the moment of truth upon him. That all his waiting in limbo was over.
"One moment please. I'll patch you through. Have a nice day."
Jesse sincerely doubted it. The lost feeling he had lived with since April, the depression and inability to find even the simplest of joys, swamped his system.
"Mr. Noble, thank you for getting back to me so swiftly," the cultured voice on the other end said.
"It's not a problem. In your message you mentioned a hearing but I just got a call from the Paris Daily Times stating that FIA had reached a verdict," Jesse said.
"Well, yes, they have. That's the other reason I wanted to speak with you. FIA has issued you a lifetime ban on the sport, with a chance for appeal after two years," Theo James murmured.
Banned for life. It was what he deserved but hearing it, knowing it was done, was still a sucker punch to the gut. He cleared his throat at the unexpected tightness. "Then why do you need a hearing if they have already issued a ruling?"
"It's for FIA's official records that they will be submitting to the French guard to see if there will be any criminal charges filed against you. Considering the fact that you were under the influence when the crash happened, and the subsequent crash with Marco Fiortino's vehicle that has left him paralyzed from the waist down for life, for FIA it was an open and shut case. As much as we lobbied for leniency on the ban, they were unwilling to consider a suspension. I'm sorry but they are making an example out of you," Theo explained.
"In your professional opinion, do you think there will be? Criminal charges, that is?" He deserved no less, but he didn't want his freedom taken away, not for a simple mistake. He would do rehab and community service galore, but the thought of losing his freedom, even for a short period of time, made Jesse's chest squeeze.
"The potential is high. Can I say definitively? No, I cannot. Even though FIA's ruling is harsh, I think we will be able to soften the blow if there end up being criminal charges. We will work to get you probation on that account, should it come up."
"Good enough. Thank you for all you've done on my behalf. I can be there at the end of the week. Just tell me when and where and I will be there."
"Splendid. I will have my secretary get all the arrangements set and have her call you with all the details."
"Great. Thank you."
"Oh, and Jesse, don't speak to the press. Ignore the call you received from the Paris Daily Times. We d
on't want to exacerbate the situation any further than it already is," Theo cautioned him in his British tone.
"I hadn't planned on it."
"Good to know. My secretary will be in touch. Have a nice day."
"Thank you," Jesse replied as he hung up.
A lifetime ban. The finality of it, the surety that his life as a racecar driver was done, forever, made him more relieved than anything else. At least he was no longer sitting on the fence and wondering about the direction of life. He'd been sitting idle at an intersection, waiting to see whether he should turn left or right. And now that he knew one lane would forever be closed to him, it made moving forward, punching the accelerator and taking a new direction, that much easier.
Over all these months in which he'd mourned his old way of life, the way things had been, he wasn't sorry that part of his life was over. He wasn't entirely sure what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, but he had some ideas. Lucy's smile, on the verge of issuing one of her deep chuckling laughs, blossomed in his mind. And he knew one of the places he wanted to start.
Jesse showered and then went in search of Declan. He had some plans he wanted to run by his friend. No more sitting on the fence for him.
* * *
Lucy spent the day with Zoey, helping her make selections for her wedding with an eye toward the clock. She wanted to see Jesse again. After last night, she wanted to see why she seemed to have this incessant need for him. And why waking up to find herself alone in her bed had made her so unhappy. When she'd discovered she was alone, she was surprised at how dejected that made her.
What was it about Jesse that she found herself wanting more of? He wasn't a submissive, not really, but he was submitting to her. Did that lay the foundation for any type of relationship? She wasn't positive. But for the first time in a very long time, she wanted to see where a relationship might head, and wondered if he might feel the same.
It was new territory for her. Lucy had not had a serious relationship in six years. She'd done that on purpose. She had not been willing to make herself vulnerable to another man. Yet Jesse's submission, his willingness to do and be what she needed, had cracked open the wall she'd placed around her heart. Jesse made her want things, gooey mushy things that she'd never considered herself hankering for before.
It certainly didn't help that she was going over different wedding ceremonial vows with Zoey. All this talk of love and romance was severely scrambling the hardwiring of her brain.
"I like this one the best," Zoey said, shifting her laptop Lucy's way. "Read it for me and let me know what you think."
Lucy read the vows and tears pricked the corners of her eyes.
I didn't know what love was before you came into my life. You are my partner, the other half of my soul that I didn't even know I was missing until we met.
She sucked in a breath as her heart wavered into putty. It was bloody perfect as it continued turning her insides into cake batter. Lucy glanced at Zoey, who was just as bleary eyed over her response to the vows.
"I think you found a winner," Lucy admitted. On every front. Dammit. Her heart bubbled with happiness for Zoey.
Zoey blubbered through watery eyes. "I think so, too."
They sniffled into tissues and grinned. God, Lucy was going to miss her. She wiped at the tears, attempting to corral her softer emotions in line. Since she'd stepped onto Scottish soil her heart had been through the gauntlet, and she knew there was more to come.
"So Lucy, I've been dying to ask, what's going on with you and Jesse Noble?" Zoey cast her a bemused but knowing glance. Well, it seems a little bird has been talking between the sheets, Lucy thought.
She laughed at Zoey's expression. "Um, you mean did we have sex?"
Zoey snickered. "I figured something had happened there. Do tell?"
"I like him. He's unique." Lucy kept her reply short and sweet. She wasn't exactly sure what they were, but she wasn't ready to discuss it, even with her best friend.
"Uh huh. And do you plan on having sex with him again?"
"Well, I do plan on heading to the DFC tonight. If he's there, then yes, I will." Lucy left it unsaid that she had every intention of being with Jesse again. Her emotions when it came to the subject matter were too new to be dissected at length.
"Well, then. Why don't we go have dinner and get ourselves ready for this evening? I know Declan has some plans that he has been quite secretive about." Zoey shivered and Lucy could see the pleasure in her best friend's visage.
"Sure thing. Do you have another outfit I can borrow? When I packed for my visit I wasn't anticipating the amount of leather and spandex I was going to need. I was more of a mind to do a snatch and grab to get you back to Burbank with me."
"Come with me," Zoey murmured with a shake of her head. Lucy did just that as Zoey escorted her to the room she shared with Declan. The man had some rather fine BDSM equipment set up in the room that Lucy took note of as they raided Zoey's closet store of club couture.
Lucy chose a red number. It was a leather bikini bottom with leather suspenders that went up and covered her nipples. Then there were two strips about an inch wide that were fitted crosswise, one that supported her breasts and another that crisscrossed over the suspender strap on her nipples. She could envision the look on Jesse's face when he spied her in this. It was scandalous, sure, but she didn't care.
Zoey had dinner delivered to her room for them in order to give them time to prepare for the DFC. Excitement hummed in Lucy's veins as they stepped onto the elevator. Would he be down here? He had said he wanted to be with her while she was here. Was that still the case?
The breath she'd been inadvertently holding in her lungs at wondering whether he would be in the club or not expelled in a rush when she spotted him at the bar. He was gorgeous. The black leather pants fitted over his legs, hugging the muscled firmness to perfection. His chest was bare tonight and she almost groaned at the wealth of muscles rippling with each movement. Lucy nodded at Zoey, who had already broken off from their formation and headed toward Declan the moment she spotted him. Which was fine, Lucy had her own prey in her sights as she waltzed over to the bar.
"So, do you come here often?" she whispered in Jesse's ear, sliding her hands down the sides of his torso.
He shivered beneath her touch and swiveled his head toward her, stopping the conversation he'd been having with Jared, and his eyes widened. His hazel gaze snapped from interested to hungry in half a second. With only his eyes, he caressed every square inch of her exposed flesh. Lucy felt his gaze like he was stroking her with his hands, feeling her nipples pebble and harden under the leather suspenders. Nitroglycerin flames erupted in her belly at his perusal and she found that she was primed and ready to have him undulating beneath her.
"Only in order to get a chance with you, minx," he murmured huskily as she moved closer.
"Come with me," she murmured, his words sending volts of pleasure humming in her veins.
He slid off the bar stool without a backward glance at Jared, placing his hand in hers. She rarely felt dainty and feminine, but his big hand swamping hers as he threaded his fingers through hers, made butterflies flood her insides at how distinctly feminine he made her feel. Lucy led Jesse into one of the private rooms down the hall. This one had a spacious, king-sized bed and the obligatory armoire containing everything they might need.
She wanted to play with him in the worst way. There was a fantasy she couldn't seem to get out of her head that she knew would be a potential boundary line he wouldn't cross over. There was only one way, and that was to test him, to see if he would allow her the fantasy. Once the curtains were drawn, Lucy sauntered over to him, the heady punch of desire threading her veins from merely observing him. His whipcord lean, muscular body made her mouth water. His heated gaze sent shivers of anticipation racing along her spine. She took his face in her hands, thrilling over the feel of his stubble. She licked her lips, and then placed them over his for a devastating kiss.
&
nbsp; A smoldering inferno exploded between them as lips and tongues tangled. It didn't even faze Lucy when Jesse slid his arms around her, pulling her flush against his hard body. The proof of his desire bulged in his leather pants. Desire pulsed, her body thrilled at the taste and feel of him. If she could have crawled inside him during their kiss, she would have. Lucy couldn't seem to get close enough. And as much as she attempted to direct the progression of the kiss, she was as swept up by him as he was by her, it seemed.
She loved the way the man kissed with every ounce of his being, funneling all his needs through his mouth as he thrust his tongue inside her. It devastated her. Just his kiss. Her body trembled. Lucy noticed her knees shook from the force it took to remain standing as waves of heat crashed over her body.
On a groan, she broke the kiss. She gulped in a steadying breath, watching his chest heave with the force of his arousal.
"Undress, please, and get on the bed. Lie on your back for me."
"Yes, Mistress." He didn't hesitate in his obedience and it stirred her something fierce.
She stepped out of arm's reach, needing a moment to collect herself. He spun her world on its axis with a single kiss. She wished she could say that it didn't affect her, that she hadn't felt every ounce of his kiss straight at the core of her being. But she'd be lying to herself if she did so. She stripped off her barely there attire, comfortable in her naked skin. The heated look Jesse tossed her way as he lay on the bed made her toes curl. The sight of his rigid erection, standing at attention as he reclined on his back, made her mouth water and hunger pound in her blood.
Inhaling a deep steadying breath, Lucy went to the armoire, withdrawing a few items, and then joined Jesse in the bed.
"Put your arms above your head. Do not touch me unless I ask you to, understand?"
Jesse nodded; gritting his teeth slightly as an unfathomable look flitted across his features. She pushed aside the trepidation his look aroused inside her. It was nothing. At least that was what she told herself as she ignored her better judgement, preferring to act like the ostrich and push forward with her plans.