I slept past sunrise. Normally I awoke with the morning light, but this time a commotion outside the door of my hut was what pulled me from my dark and heavy sleep. First there was a scream.
“Get Herthe,” someone called.
“Hurry,” said another voice.
I wanted to see what was happening, but wondered how they’d react to seeing me after so much time away. Would they send me away again?
“Twee, are you okay?” someone else said.
Was something wrong with Twee? How far along was she in her pregnancy? Maybe it was time for her to deliver. Maybe that was what was going on.
“Twee?” the voice said again.
“Is she okay?” someone else asked.
I couldn’t sit inside listening any longer. If something was wrong with Twee I needed to find out what. I opened the door flap of my hut expecting everyone around to look over at me and ask me where I’d been. That didn’t happen. In fact, hardly anyone looked in my direction at all. It was as if I’d never been gone.
Twee lay in the grass a few feet from my hut. I expected to see a crowd around her but there were only three souls, one squatting beside her and the other two standing looking down on her unconscious form. She was the same as she had been in most regards except for one notable one. Her stomach was large and round as if she’d stuck a great rock beneath her dress. Her stomach rose up from the ground like a giant termite mound as she lay there.
“What’s wrong with her?” I asked, but no one answered me. They didn’t even turn to acknowledge that I’d spoken. They all continued to look down at her.
I was wondering if I were invisible when Herthe came barreling toward us on her wide feet, her robes fluttering in the wind as she ran. She dropped to her knees at Twee’s side. “Stand back,” she said. “I’m dealing with this now.”
Obediently the others walked away, but I used it as an opportunity to get closer.
“Always doing the opposite of what you’re told.” Herthe looked up at me shattering my theory of my newfound invisibility.
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She’s had a rough couple of weeks.”
“How?”
“If you were here you’d already know.” Twee’s body began to shake, her head moving to and fro. Herthe put her hand on Twee’s forehead. “Shhhh,” she said to her. “You’re going to be all right now.”
“What’s happening?”
“Seizures. She’s been having them for a few weeks.”
“Does this have to do with the pregnancy?” I eyed her stomach. I’d been told about pregnancy before, we all had, but this was the first time I’d witnessed it. It seemed like such a painful ordeal to bring another being into this world. I wondered why mortal women continued to subject themselves to all of the pain and discomfort. When Twee had agreed to carry the vessel to term for some reason I never thought it would be like this. Her stomach was so large it seemed like a ripe fruit ready to burst. I was surprised it hadn’t. Maybe that’s what was getting ready to happen now.
“I don’t know,” Herthe said.
Twee’s body began to shake more violently and her eyelids fluttered. “Will she die?” I asked. It didn’t seem like Herthe was doing anything to help her at all.
“I don’t know.” There was a desperation in her voice that I’d never heard before.
Twee’s eyelids fell open, but the eyes they revealed didn’t seem to be Twee’s at all. Instead of the normally deep, dark brown that bordered on being black they were a yellowish green. The pupils were long and narrow like a serpent’s. I gasped and jumped back. My hand over my mouth, I let out a tiny yelp.
Then Twee’s eyes closed again and her body settled. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her breathing was raspy and shallow. She opened her eyes and they were dark brown again. She looked around, confused and frightened at first until her gaze settled on Herthe.
“There, there,” Herthe repeated in her motherly tone, her hand stroking Twee’s forehead. “You had another one of those spells.”
“How long was I out?” she asked.
“Only a few minutes.”
Twee closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“You can relax here for a while if you like. Whenever you’re ready I’ll help you get up.”
Twee rolled to her side. “It’s hard to relax lying on my back with this thing inside of me.” She put her hand on her swollen belly.
Herthe nodded as if she understood, but in reality none of us could. “Someone’s come to see you.” She angled her eyes toward me. I stepped close to Herthe so I could be in Twee’s line of sight.
Twee pushed herself up into a sitting position slowly then she narrowed her eyes at me. “You left me here.”
I looked at Herthe nervously. “No, I didn’t.”
“You told me that you’d help me and then you left me here alone.”
My heart started beating quickly as I looked at Herthe and shook my head slowly pretending I had no idea what Twee was talking about. “I had some things I needed to take care of on my own, so I went to the other side of the island for a little while.”
“It’s been ages.” Twee motioned to her stomach. “Look at me.”
“I see.”
“You’ve just been through something very stressful,” Herthe said. “Why don’t we get you up and to your hut where you can rest more comfortably.” Herthe stood up and reached both of her hands toward Twee.
Twee took her hands. I quickly bent down and took hold of Twee’s elbow in order to help her up. With two of us she wasn’t that difficult to help up. As soon as she was standing she shook her arm out of my grip. Then she glared at me with hardened eyes.
“I’m here now,” I said.
“You were almost too late.” She hobbled away slowly with Herthe at her side. I watched her stick-thin legs as they seemed to strain under her extra weight.
I sneaked into Twee’s hut after dark. A full moon hung low and bright over the tree tops. Most of the souls had retired for the night when I slipped into Twee’s hut. She slept on her side on a raised platform. I guessed that getting down on the ground and up again was harder for her now so Herthe and Father had arranged modifications for her. A small stone glowed in the corner opposite from where she slept emitting a soft pink light. I crawled over to where she lay. Her breathing was heavy. I watched her sleep for a moment before putting my hand on her shoulder to wake her. My touch didn’t startle her at all. She opened her eyes as if my presence in her hut in the middle of the night was perfectly natural.
“You did leave me,” she whispered.
“But I’m back.”
She nodded. “For how long?”
“Not long.” When I said the words excitement gripped me. “That’s why I’m back. They are coming soon.”
“Who?” she asked.
“Our way off this island. I saw him in the seerstone.”
“Why did you leave?”
“Father caught me sneaking into his hut. I left because I had to.”
“Did you find my family when you looked into the seerstone?” Her eyes glimmered with hope.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t get the chance to look, but if you like I’ll try to do it tomorrow.”
“Will you?”
I nodded hoping that there would be time.
“When will they come to take us off the island?” Twee asked.
“I don’t know, but I can feel them like moths in my chest.”
“We just have to be ready?” Twee said.
“Yes. We must always be ready.”
“I’m ready right now,” she said. “Who did you see in the stone? Who is coming?”
“A man. A mortal man from far away. He’ll come by ship.”
“Alone?”
“I don’t know.” I had tried to imagine how our escape might happen ever since I first saw the man in the stone. I could not help but picture his face when I closed my eyes. Would he be kind to us? Would he already know who I
was? The mortals learned of all of us. They had a book that they’d study.
“The raft wasn’t big enough. I made it bigger,” she said.
“Good, but how did you do that in your condition?”
“Variel helped me.”
“Variel?” Of all the souls on the island Variel was the worst to involve. “She’ll tell Father and Herthe for sure.”
“I told her that I just wanted to see if I could make one that would work. I never mentioned leaving.”
“She didn’t believe you.”
“I think she did. Eilim and Herthe have never mentioned it to me.”
“Maybe they are waiting until after the vessel comes,” I said.
“By then it will be too late.”
Twee closed her eyes.
“I’ll go,” I said. “You need to rest.” As I went to stand up Twee took hold of my arm.
“You won’t leave me again,” she said.
“I won’t.”
“Promise?” she asked.
“Promise.”
And with those words we were bound.
Chapter 16
Father stood in the center of the settlement watching the last glowing embers of the evening fire, his solemn face lit with the orange light in the darkness. He was alone; everyone else was safely tucked away in their huts. I briefly considered walking around the outside of the huts to avoid him, but then I thought better of it.
“It’s late,” I said as I approached him.
“That it is,” he said.
I sat next to him on the log and tried to relax.
“Did you enjoy your journey?” he asked.
“I don’t know if enjoy is an appropriate word to use.”
“Well, did you learn something?”
I thought about the time I spent alone making fires and foraging for food. I thought about the visions and the hours spent in silent reflection. “Yes.”
“Like not to extend yourself beyond your calling.”
I turned away from him and smiled. “Not exactly.”
“Your joy leads me to believe that you are not repentant?”
“I did not realize that you wanted me to repent.”
“I wanted you to reflect and realize your wrongdoing. I would have discussed this with you if you had not fled so quickly. Now it seems that you have wasted so many days and have not even thought of making penance.” He spoke in a rapid, low whisper.
“So I will be punished?”
“When have I ever punished anyone?”
“But you said before that you would banish me.”
He looked toward the fire. “I would not do that to punish you, but instead to give you time to reflect. I love every soul on this island and every soul out in the world. I do not punish, but I will not bend the threads of fate. When your actions will surely bring about catastrophe, I will let events fall where they may.”
“Like Santali?”
“She made her choice.”
“Did you know about her plan?”
Father sighed but said nothing and turned his attention back to the fire.
“You could have made her stay on the island but you did not.”
“I am one soul.”
“But you claim to be all powerful. Didn’t you see her plan in the seerstone?”
“You like to claim that you have no choices on this island and therefore cannot lead a life worth living. You have as many choices as any mortal. We all do. I let Santali make her choice, just as I will let you make yours. It is important however to realize that every action has consequences that affect not only you, but the world as a whole. Santali did not consider that and now there are problems in the mortal world because of it.”
“What kind of problems?” I asked.
He looked away from me as if deciding whether or not he should answer. “It is difficult to sustain new life in the presence of life that is eternal.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
He stood. “It is late. I must sleep.”
I stayed to watch the smoldering embers of the fire for a few more minutes after he retired into his hut. Father knew of my plan to escape. He must’ve known about Twee too. I was foolish to think that I could have secrets. Of course he knew. I picked up a rock near my foot and threw it into the orange embers. An explosion of sparks shot up in the darkness, each glowing piece rising up and slowly extinguishing itself in the dark night air. Him knowing didn’t matter because he said that he would let me make my own choice and my choice was to go. That was what I would do no matter what.
The anticipation in me grew. The flutter in my stomach rose like the crest of a great wave. My insides felt like they were opening up and unraveling in the most expansive way. I got up and started back to my hut, but when I got to the door I no longer wanted to go inside. I would not be able to sleep anyway, not with this expansiveness inside of me. I would go tomorrow and I’d promised Twee that I would find out if her family was still alive. I walked across the settlement to Father’s hut.
“Father,” I called through the door. “Father, are you sleeping?”
“What is it, Amara?” he asked from inside.
“If you don’t mind, I’d just like to ask you something.”
“Come in,” he said. He was uncovering a glowing stone next to the mat he slept on when I entered.
“Is Twee’s family still alive?” I wasted no time. The night was wearing on and I was unsure about whether or not he would even answer.
“You wake me to ask me this?”
“I promised her I would find out.”
“I told her this already.” He pursed his lips and looked at me with a questioning gaze.
“She doesn’t believe you.”
We stayed there in silence for a moment, him sitting cross-legged on his mat and me standing in the doorway holding the boar skin flap open letting the chilly night air into the hut.
“Are they?” I asked again growing tired of waiting for an answer.
“Twee’s mother slipped off of the wreckage into the dark blue abyss never to be seen again, but her father and brother survived. They were picked up by pirates who showed mercy to them and let them disembark at their next port.”
“Thank you.” I stepped back happy to have news to tell Twee in the morning.
“I am not finished,” Father said. “Unable to take the guilt he felt knowing that his wife, the love of his life, died because of his desire to move and that his daughter presumingly died vanishing in the vastness of the ocean, he took his life. Drunk one night he threw himself from the pier into the frigid water. Most say it was an accident, but it was not.”
“What has become of her brother?”
“He grew up an orphan. He wrapped his life in the tragedy of his family and vowed that it would not be for nothing.”
“He is well?” I asked.
“He is driven and that could lead him to anything.”
“Thank you for telling me.”
He smiled slightly. “You will tell her tomorrow?”
I nodded. “She asked me to.”
“You shouldn’t always do what mortals ask of you.”
I tilted my head, confused. “But you stress obedience.”
“Obedience to me, yes. Not to mortals because they don’t realize the consequences of their requests.” He leaned forward a bit. “Besides, when have you ever been good at obedience?”
“She’ll ask me.”
“Don’t answer when she does. The details will rip the hope from her. She has a great work to perform and despite the disapproval of the elders she has persevered. The time is near when the vessel will come. I want her to remain as strong and determined as possible. If you tell her it will tear her to pieces and then what would we have left?”
“We must think of her too.”
“I am thinking of her.” He held my gaze as if trying to convince me with his eyes. “Get some sleep. You have a busy day ahead of you.”
He did know. “Goo
dnight,” I said before stepping back into the darkness.
He was coming. I knew it from the minute I woke. He was in my visions last night and in my thoughts as soon as I opened my eyes. I wondered how it would happen. I pictured him pulling his boat ashore and walking toward me as I stood in the soft sand with a hand above my eyes shielding them from the sun. He’d walk up to me and say, “Amara?” I’d say, “Yes,” but wonder how it was that he already knew my name. He would take me by the hand and say, “I’m taking you to freedom.” I’d want to kiss him, but would not because kissing is a thing of mortals and I was not mortal. This, of course, is not how it happened.
I went to the beach after eating breakfast, but from the trees I could see Twee sitting on the beach. Remembering Father’s warning I didn’t want to speak to her. I didn’t want to have to tell her that her parents really were dead. I didn’t want to see that grief, not on my last day on this island. I headed back up the path then veered off into the trees. I sat behind the trunk of a giant fallen tree and tried to decide what to do. I thought it would be a good place to rest while I waited to hear Twee come back up the path. Hours passed and there was no sign of her. Then I started to worry. What if they mistook her for me? What if she was the one they took from the island? What would I do then?
Just as I was ready to go back to the beach to check to see where Twee was I heard footsteps coming down the path from the settlement. I peered over the fallen tree to see Variel coming down the path in good time, humming a song I didn’t know. I ducked back behind the log and waited for her to pass. What if they took Variel instead? I wondered momentarily. Then I remembered that Variel did not want to be taken. She would not allow that … never. Some time passed and no one came back up the path from the beach, but I knew that the man I’d seen in the seerstone was near. I felt his steady approach. I wondered if he felt drawn to me much like I felt drawn to him. I wondered how long he would take to find me. Deciding I needed to make it easier for him to do so I came out from behind the log and sat on a patch of deep green moss at the edge of the path. I picked up a stick and started to write a list of all of the things I might experience in the world: freedom, honesty, love, choice, reunion.
Isle of Gods II: Amara Page 9