I gave him a quick hug and said, “Thank you. I love you,” then skipped back into the house while he continued with his chores outside. He hadn't said no and that was a good thing. It didn't sound like he would tell Mom or Dad what I was trying to do either. That was excellent.
Now I would just have to wait for him to come to me with a plan. I felt so hopeful and excited; it was hard to contain my joy.
I agreed that this sounded promising, but we had no idea what their father was doing right now with Caroline and what that would bring. We would just have to wait and see where that was concerned, I guess. Having her room moved down to the cellar was just ridiculous. I couldn’t believe that her parents did that to Emily and I couldn’t imagine what else they might have in store for her. My time was coming soon, I could feel it.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I purposefully slowed my step and hung my head a little as I went back into the house to ask Mom if there were any chores to be done. She would definitely be suspicious if all of a sudden I seemed happy and perky. Sometimes there would be a list of chores that needed to be done hanging on the fridge, held in place by Mom’s apple magnet. There hadn't been a list since the day that we buried my little brother Eric though. So I would have to risk getting yelled at and ask.
Mom was in her room. I heard her crying before I got to the door. It was open enough to be able to see her lying across her bed, looking through some items in an old shoe box. They looked like pictures. I cleared my throat so she wouldn't think I was sneaking up on her and then pushed the door open a little wider.
Mom hurried to put the pictures or whatever they were back in the box. Then she quickly put the lid back on, wiped away her tears, and tried to sit up before I saw her. I acted like I didn't see any of it and just started talking, “I'm sorry to bother you, Mom. I wasn't sure if there was something that I should be doing or if you just wanted me to find a chore to do.”
Mom cleared her throat and sniffled. “Didn't I put the list on the refrigerator?” Before I had a chance to answer, she replied to her own question with, “Oh no, I didn't. Never mind. How about cleaning that out, the refrigerator? That hasn't been done in a while. Just take everything out. You should remember how to do the rest. I'll be out in a little bit.”
“Okay. Do you want me to leave your door open or shut it?” She told me to shut it. I wondered what she was looking at when I came to the door. It looked like a bunch of old photographs, but maybe I was wrong. I don’t remember ever seeing any pictures in a box before, just the few that we had hanging on our living room wall. What would make her cry like that though?
I walked through the living room and into the kitchen, ready to get to work on the fridge. I was happy to have something to keep myself occupied. I filled one of our cooking pots with hot, soapy water and threw a rag from the drawer below the silverware in it. Then I emptied the contents of the refrigerator onto the table.
I was only about halfway done with my chore when I heard the engine of our truck as it pulled down our driveway towards the house. Shortly after, Caroline came bursting through the front door shouting, “Mommy, Mommy! Daddy took me for an ice cream and I made a friend while I was there! She's going to come here to spend the night in a few days! Daddy already said that she could!”
Mom had just come out from her bedroom and I saw her hold Caroline's shoulders as if to try to physically calm her down. “Okay, okay, Caroline. That's great. I can't wait to meet your new friend. Now why don't you go bring your dirty clothes down for me so that I can wash them?”
Dad was carrying a big bag to the barn. I saw him through the window above the sink. Probably a bag of feed for the animals. I knew what Mom's plan probably was. She was trying to get Caroline out of the way so she could talk to Dad privately.
Hopefully she would try to talk him out of letting Caroline's new friend spend the night at our house. Her attempt would more than likely fail, but this whole thing seemed very unusual and not at all like a good idea. Dad probably had something bad up his sleeve.
I went back to scrubbing at the crud on the side of the refrigerator, pretending not to be paying attention to what was going on around me. Caroline headed upstairs dutifully to get her dirty clothes like she was told. I was right. Mom headed past me and out the side door to confront Dad.
I could see my parents through the window as Mom approached Dad. She was already getting loud because I could hear her from where I was at and she was obviously irritated. I wished I could hear what she was actually saying to him.
She wasn't yelling long before I saw him smack her with the back of his hand. She placed her hands where he had smacked her and then he gently brushed some hair out of her face with his hand. I had never seen my father act affectionately towards anyone. It annoyed me because I knew that it was just an act. I briefly wondered how many times he had done something similar to that with my mother. After that they talked, only raising their voices every now and then. I finished my scrubbing. Nothing more was said of any of it for the rest of the day.
While in my room that night just before bed, I noticed one of the bricks in the wall was loose. I walked over to it and wiggled it until I was able to pry it free. There was a pretty big space behind where the brick belonged. I knew what would fill that empty space very nicely. A diary. I would finally be able to write down my true feelings about anything and everything and not worry that it would be found and read. Or what would happen to me if that were to happen.
I just happened to have an empty little notebook that would make a perfect diary. Notebooks, paper, pens, and pencils were always kept on hand in our house because of the homeschooling. Mom knew how I liked to write and always made sure to give me a notebook when I asked. Mom and Dad both said the supplies looked good in case someone from the State showed up to check that we were really doing what we were supposed to be. I was eager to get started on my new journal.
I'm not sure how long I stayed awake writing for, but I was lucky that my father hadn't come down to pay me a visit while I was at it. I was so absorbed in what I was writing that I may not have heard him until it was too late. All in all I had had a pretty decent day. I fell asleep hoping that Johnny would come to me with a plan of escape the next day.
Those pictures in that box, what were they and why hadn’t Emily ever seen them before? I wanted to find out. Also, what happened today? Why did their father take Caroline for ice cream? That wasn’t like him at all. The deal with letting Caroline talk to some other girl for long enough to form a friendship and invite her to sleep over was strange too. Something was definitely not right. He must have something bad planned somehow. Hopefully we could find out before anything happened what exactly he expected to do.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Several days, maybe a week, passed without much of anything happening. We did our schooling and our chores and enjoyed some of the nice Summer weather here and there. But, as with anytime in this house when things seemed normal and peaceful for too long, it didn’t last long.
First of all, I made a point to check the calendar that was hanging in the kitchen so I could write the date on my last diary entry. Today was July 18, 1976. I was twelve years old today. Nobody had said a word about it being my birthday. Mom was normally the first to say, “Happy Birthday,” to me and then the other kids did the same after they heard her. Even Dad normally said it. Also, the birthday kid normally got to choose what was for dinner and then we had cake afterwards. Mom hadn't asked what I wanted for dinner and I didn't see any evidence that she was baking or planning to bake a cake at all.
Secondly, Johnny did come to talk to me when he got a chance to do it privately, but he didn't tell me what I had wanted to hear. And no, “Happy Birthday,” either. Instead he told me, “I'll work as hard and as fast as I can to get myself in a position to be able to move out.”
“But what abou...,” he shushed me before I could say any more.
“Let me finish. I'm not planning to let Mom or Dad know where
I'm at and as soon as I'm able, I'll come for you and Caroline. Then we don't have to worry about getting caught as much. We'll have a safe place to go.”
I didn't care much for the idea of having to wait an indefinite amount of time to escape, or for the fact that he was going to leave me and our little sister behind at first, but for now it was the only hope that I had to hold onto. I reluctantly agreed with Johnny that his plan was probably for the best. I still thought that we could do something to get away sooner rather than later, but he was older than I was and Caroline and I would need him if we were really going to make this getaway work. Whenever it actually happened.
Midway through the day a strange vehicle slowed at our driveway and then began pulling in. It looked like an old junker and was rusty with chipping blue paint.
I assumed whoever was in the vehicle was here to buy something from our stand, so I headed toward the road. A woman with dark blonde hair poked her head out of the driver's side window.
“Hey, excuse me. Is this where a little girl named Caroline lives?” I saw a pretty little blonde girl with braids about Caroline's age sitting in the passenger seat as I got closer. This must be the friend Caroline had made the other day: the one that was supposed to spend the night.
I should have just lied and told the lady that I didn't know anyone by that name, but I couldn't. Dad or Caroline had probably already heard the car anyways and would be out here any minute to greet our first ever house guest.
“Yes, this is Caroline's house.
You must be the people Dad and Caroline met the other day. I'm Emily, Caroline's sister.”
The woman parked her dented, rusty car behind our truck in the driveway and then both she and the little girl got out. The girl appeared to be struggling, lugging a pink backpack and pillow with her.
I hated the whole idea of this poor girl spending the night at our house. I was worried about what would happen, what my father's wicked plan must be for allowing something like this in the first place.
In my mind I pictured several police cars peeling into our driveway and then taking my father away in one of their vehicles in handcuffs, just like I had seen on a show that my mother had watched on our television. I had gone into the living room to tell her something or ask her something and she had shushed me through that part. None of us kids were ever allowed to watch the television because we always had too much other stuff to do and besides, that my parents said that it would rot our growing minds, but that was alright with me. I preferred to read books. That would be such a wonderful birthday gift though, to watch my father being taken away in a police car. But what would the price have to be for the rest of us in order to get that to happen?
Caroline came running out the front door with one of the biggest smiles I had ever seen on her face. She ran right up to the new girl and gave her a big hug. My sister was just a little taller and a lot pudgier than her friend. Then they both started talking excitedly to one another. My mother came walking out, obviously less excited than my sister about our first, and hopefully last, overnight guest.
I headed back toward the house to let our mother do whatever grownup talking she had to do with the other girl's mother. I knew better than to act nosy, even if I was concerned and curious. I noticed that the other woman was quite a bit taller than my own mother and much more slender and pretty.
My father met me at the front door as I entered. “You stay away from those girls and let them have a good time together. Don't worry yourself about what they do or how they do it. I know how you like to push your ideas on these kids. You just keep your mouth shut and mind your own business while she's here. You hear me?”
“I hear you. I'll mind my own business.”
“Unbelievable. He’s up to something. I’m sure of it. I’m so certain that I would bet money on it. If I had any. Ooh That gives me an idea, one that will help you and your brother and sister when you finally decide to get away. You should start skimming money from the produce stand. Just a little here and there, not enough to be noticeable. And you can hide it with your diary. I love how wonderful ideas just come to me at the strangest of times,” said the voice in my head. It was a fabulous idea though and one that really would help tremendously.
I had told my father that I would mind my own business. But if I happened to witness something that I thought was my business that would be altogether different. I considered the safety and well-being of my sister my business. And now I also felt responsible for this strange girl as well.
A few minutes later the two girls came clambering in the door and up the stairs to what used to be the room that I shared with my little sister. They didn't shut up the whole way and I could still hear them chattering once the door had been shut behind them.
Suddenly, I began to wonder if my father had been planning this whole thing even before he brought my sister for ice cream. Maybe he had moved my stuff and me out of my room on purpose because of whatever he had planned for this night. The thought gave me creepy goose bumps all over.
I went about doing the dusting and other various chores my mother had told me needed to be done. I liked that I had something to keep myself occupied. I had to admit that I was feeling a little jealous about Caroline being the first Fleischer child to have the privilege of having an overnight guest, or the first to have a friend for that matter. Not that I would ever want to bring a friend of mine to spend the night at this house, but I would love to have a friend that I could feel close with. Besides that, it was my birthday, not Caroline’s.
There was no way that Caroline and this girl even knew for sure whether they would really click as friends. They hadn't spent enough time together yet. And I was certain that after spending one night here that girl would never want to return again. Something would happen to scare her off.
There was more chit chat at our dinner table that evening than I could ever remember there being before. My parents, Johnny, and Caroline were all playing Twenty Questions with our guest. Our guest. I realized that I didn't even know so much as the girl's name yet.
By the time I headed to the cellar for the night, I knew much more about our visitor than I had before starting dinner. Her name was Summer and she was nine years old. She would be celebrating her tenth birthday on October 2nd. She lived alone with her mother in an apartment in town. She was going into the fifth grade at Dereves Elementary in the Fall and was typically a “B” student. Her mother worked as a waitress at The Diner and they were pretty close, only having each other to lean on for everything most of the time. Her father had broken his relationship with her mother off right after she had told him that she was pregnant. He had claimed that her mother had slept around and that the baby couldn't possibly be his. Summer said that her mother told her she got her freckles from her father. All this Summer had told our whole family over dinner.
Summer was quite a talkative little girl, and did not seem too shy to share anything. She must not have learned what Johnny, Caroline, and I had about keeping quiet. After dinner the two girls went off to play and get ready for bed. I did the dishes by myself and then went down to my space in the cellar.
My twelfth birthday had come and was now gone without any mention at all from anyone. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything different after the way things had all been going around here lately. It still hurt not having anyone acknowledge what was supposed to be my special day though. I shared my feelings on the subject with my diary and then tucked it safely into its hiding place behind the brick.
Dad came down to visit after I had fallen asleep. This was his first visit to my new room. Never before had he done the bad thing on my birthday. Of course, I didn’t know what time it was and maybe it wasn’t even my birthday anymore. For some reason it seemed even scarier happening down here than it had in my old bedroom. Maybe because I knew in my old room if I absolutely had to scream it would wake Caroline and then he would probably stop what he was doing. It wasn't something that I had ever planned on or wanted to do,
but it had at least been an option if things got too unbearable. I wasn't sure if anyone would be able to hear me from down here or if they would come to my rescue even if they did.
I didn't fight this time. I was too scared of what might happen if I did. It was pretty much the normal unwanted visit from Dad. He spit on his hand and rubbed it on my private parts to help smooth his way in. It still felt like something tore and the whole thing was just as painful as it always was. I wondered if sex was always like this no matter whether you were willing or not. If it always hurt so badly, why did women choose to do it? Maybe some women wanted a baby so bad they were willing to go through anything to get it. I didn’t know and I thought if it was like that all the time, I would never do it willingly.
He finished up and left me alone in my dark cellar room. I laid there sore and thinking. If he had done the horrible thing to me, then he must not have bothered either of the other girls. At least, normally he didn't bother two of us on the same day that I was aware of. So what were his plans concerning Summer and his reasons for letting her spend the night at our house? All I knew was that I had more than one horrible feeling about this girl and the sleepover situation.
Detached: Book 1 of the Fleischer Series Page 8