by Aleo, Toni
Even though, lately, there was no making Elli happy, she was depressed. She probably needed medication for it.
“Hey, Ms. Fisher! You had two new calls, one from your mother and the other from your daddy. Mr. Fisher also came to see you but I informed him you were out and he said to tell you that he would talk to you at the game tomorrow night. You have two new faxes, and six new emails.” Janet said in a hurry. Elli had learned to listen closely when Janet talked, not only was her accent thick, but the girl spoke so damn fast, it made Elli’s head spin.
“Thanks so much, Janet, here’s your lemonade since you don’t like coffee, which still makes me wonder if I should keep you as an assistant,” Elli said with a small smile. Janet grinned and handed her the faxes before taking her drink.
“Coffee is gross; I’ll stick to lemonade and mountain dew, thank you.”
With that she turned on her heels, making her way to her desk. Elli smiled, closing the door behind her as she walked to her desk, laying her things down as she made her way to it. Everything from her office at Time Standing Still had been moved here since Harper had taken her office and Alice took Harper’s. With Harper running the studio now, Elli didn’t feel it was right to have all her things there. She still took pictures for her regular customers, but the new ones went through Harper.
Elli missed her regular work at the studio, but was excited for the new possibilities the Assassins headquarters held. She was a co-owner of the Nashville Assassins at the age of twenty eight years old, what else could she ask for?
Oh, there was a list, but Elli couldn’t think of that right now.
She laid the faxes on her desk, before pulling up her emails. They were all from customers at the studio, so she answered them quickly saying she would get back to them when she was at the studio, which would be the next day. She had deliberately ignored the faxes, because she had a feeling one of them held the same bad news the ones before had said. She picked it up, and her heart fell at the words.
Ms. Fisher,
I’m sorry, but the house you and Mr. Adler wanted has already been sold. I don’t know why you send me a fax every week asking if the house has came back on the market, because I’m pretty sure the people that bought it, bought it to live in it. I’m sorry, but I will no longer be answering your faxes.
Have a nice day,
Jill Mancina
Bitch.
Elli never did like that woman. She thought as she shredded the fax before reading the other one, that one was only the confirmation of someone buying her seats for the game the following night. When she turned back to her desk, she looked at her laptop screen, dazing out into space. So much had changed in the months since breaking up with Shea.
Elli hated change.
When a tear fell on her hand, she looked down at it, hating it for falling. How could she be so weak? Her mother was right; it had been two damn months! It was time to get over him!
Elli wiped her face, picking her phone off the desk, pushing the unlock button so her wallpaper would come on, and Shea’s beautiful face would be looking up at her. His eyes were so dull, even though they should have been the brightest thing in the picture.
She would try to get over him tomorrow; today she would stare at his picture.
Again.
Getting over Shea day didn’t really start out the way she hoped it would. She was still living out some of the plastic bags that lined the floor of her living room, and when she was looking for one of her belts, she found a pair of Shea’s boxers. As she held them in her hands, all she could do was imagine him wearing them, running through the apartment trying to pack before leaving for a road trip. It didn’t matter how hard she tried to throw them down and walk away, instead she held them close to her chest as the tears ran down her cheeks.
She had spent the morning bawling her eyes out.
When she finally got herself under control and dressed, she made her way through the house. Going through the motions of her mornings; feeding Adler, cleaning up the mess from the night before, and eating a banana. Adler was just as depressed as she was, he would look at her like “Hey, where’s Shea? I miss him.” Elli found herself answering him sometimes too, saying “He kissed our sworn enemy, he’s dead to us.”
Even though God and everyone knew that wasn’t true. Shea would never been dead to her, no matter how hard she tried; she couldn’t get him out of her head. There wasn’t a day that past where she didn’t think about him, miss him.
After cleaning up and making sure Adler was good for the day, she made her way downstairs to her truck to leave for the studio. Hoping the day would get better.
Elli was working on scheduling some of her regular clients when Harper walked in. She held a coffee for Elli and one for herself as she sat down in the chairs in front of her desk. Elli smiled, hanging up the phone and taking the coffee from her. “It’s good seeing you behind your desk again, Elli. I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing you there.”
Elli smiled, rolling her eyes, “It’s your desk Harp, thanks for letting me use it. I’m almost done.”
“Take your time,” Harper said taking a sip of her coffee, “So how are things over at the headquarters?”
“Good, doing a lot of paperwork, trades and junk like that. Jakob came in to sign his contract last week. That was probably the highlight of my week.”
Harper nodded, “Yeah, he said he saw you, he also said you looked tired, which you do.”
Elli looked up at her. Harper wasn’t there to visit, she was there to talk. Shit. “Um, well, I haven’t been sleeping much.”
Not like she could if she tried. Her DVD didn’t put her to sleep any more, Shea ruined that for her.
“Why not?”
“Harper you know damn well why not, so just let it go. I’m okay.”
“You don’t look okay, Elli.”
“I’m fine.”
“Why do you lie to me? I’ve been your best friend since we were five; I know you’re not okay.”
“I’m fine,” Elli said a little sharper than she meant too. Harper glared over at her, and Elli just shrugged her shoulders, “I’ll be okay, it’s just gonna take some time.”
“I don’t know why y’all are doing this to yourselves, it’s not healthy. You can’t sleep or eat for that matter and Shea drinks himself to a stupor!”
Elli’s head shot up, “What?”
“Shit, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that,” Harper said her face turning red with guilt.
“Well, you might as well go on with it.”
“Jakob has had to go get Shea a couple nights a week, when they are home, from the bar; Jakob says its kinda scaring him.”
“Shea’s drinking?”
“Yeah, a lot, apparently.”
“Wow,” Elli was shocked; Shea took such care of his body. No wonder he was a little slower lately, Elli was probably the only one to notice, but he was lagging, and the drinking was the answer to that.
“Yeah, so here’s my thing, why don’t you just call him, try to work something out. It’s obvious y’all aren’t doing good apart.”
Elli took a deep breath, shaking her head. “I don’t want him back; I don’t want to talk to him. I’m fine. I’m getting over him.”
“You’re such a liar, Elli!” Harper stood up, slamming her coffee cup on the desk, causing Elli to scoot back some. Harper was kinda crazy sometimes, and just in case she started swinging, Elli wanted to be able to dodge them.
“I’m your best friend, Elli, and I have seen you a total of two times out of work, when you are here, you don’t even talk, you just lock yourself up in a office and do paperwork. I can’t even talk to you because I’m scared I might say something to upset you, or piss you off.” She reached into her pocket, pulling out something shinning. When she slid it on her ring finger, Elli knew it was an engagement ring. “I’m engaged, have been for a month, and I couldn’t find a way to tell you. How is that fair, Elli? We are best friends. Aren’t we supposed
to be able to tell each other things without worrying about the others stability, cause now that I told you, I’m worried you might go home and kill yourself.”
Elli shook her head, standing up and coming around the desk, “I’m not going to kill myself, Harp, have a little more faith in me, but I am going to knock you senseless for not telling me!” Elli took Harper’s hand in her, taking in the beautiful of the ring that Jakob had probably spent months picking out. It was gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as Harper. “It’s beautiful.”
“Thanks, it’s a little earlier than planned, but, um.” Harper looked down at the ground, then back up at Elli, “But I’m pregnant and we wanted to be engaged before we tell our families.”
She was pregnant! Oh, come on!
“Wow, gosh Harper! This is crazy,” Elli gushed, trying to keep the tears at bay, she couldn’t cry or it would prove Harper right, that Elli was a basket case and Alder should probably hide the knives before Elli got home. Harper was pregnant and gonna be married before her! What the hell!
“Yeah, you’ve hid yourself from everything, El, like I’m pregnant and Jodi and Derrick are having a boy, and Trice and Walter are adopting a baby, and you don’t know any of that because you won’t return anyone’s calls, and when you’re around me, you shut down, only talking about business.”
Shit, all that stuff happen in two months!
“This has got to stop, Elli. You’ve lost so much weight, you aren’t sleeping, and you’re a mess.”
“I’m fine.”
“You say your fine one more time Eleanor Rey Fisher, I will knock you stupid. I know you’re not fine.”
“Harper, you’re being dramatic. I’ve closed off some, so what? I’m okay.”
“If you were really okay, Elli, then why are there two boxes full of home decorating magazines in the lobby that you have yet to take home.”
For the first time, Elli actually wanted to physically hurt her best friend. How dare her bring up them boxes! She knew how Elli couldn’t even look at them with feeling like her heart was breaking all over again. The day they came in, Elli cried for hours beside them, it was also the day she decided to start working over at the headquarters full time.
“I have no use for them.”
“Well you are taking them home today; Jakob already loaded them in the back of your truck.”
It took everything out of Elli to say, “That’s fine.”
“I bet it is. You listen to me, Eleanor Fisher, you are done. You have two choices, straighten up, get back to your life, or stop being friends with me. I can’t take it; I can’t take the worry, the hurt every time I see you. I want my best friend back.”
Elli looked at her like she was crazy, “You’re gonna give up our friendship because I’m trying to get over my ex?”
“Elli, if you were actually trying to get over Shea, I wouldn’t threaten you, but look, I can’t even say his name without you looking like I slapped you!”
Elli didn’t even realize she had made face, so she looked down at the ground as Harper went on, “You are not trying to get over him, you are torturing yourself, when all you have to do is call him, talk to him and I’m pretty damn sure he will want to see you. He misses you, he needs you.”
“I don’t miss him,” Elli lied, and Harper knew it. Harper shook her head, as tears came to her eyes. When they fell over her cheeks, Elli couldn’t help but start crying too.
“I’m done,” Harper cried, “You heard me, get your shit together or I can’t be your friend.”
“And how do you suggest I do that, Harper, please tell me.”
“You can’t get over him because you’re not meant to. You are meant to be with him for the rest of your life. I’ve talked to him, and I believe that he didn’t kiss Victoria, and you of all people should believe him. Victoria is vicious, you know that!”
“You didn’t see them together.”
“And yet you still won’t confront Victoria about it, why is that?”
“Because I hate her.”
“No, it’s because when you do, you’ll know she’s a fucking liar and then you will look like an idiot for making yourself and Shea suffer. You are making him pay for Justin’s mistakes. You want to be lonely. You’re pathetic.”
Elli narrowed her eyes, not believing what was coming out of Harper’s mouth, “I mean, shit, Harp, don’t hold back!”
“Oh, I won’t, this is two months of anger that you’re getting. I’ve had it!”
“So you’ve made perfectly clear,” Elli answered.
“There is a ball tomorrow, Shea is going. I want you to go. Maybe seeing him will help because God knows when y’all are in the same room, people have to wear sunglasses the sparks are so bright.”
“I’m not going,” Elli argued.
“Okay, but you better hope the next time I see you, you better look better, or we’re done.”
“You don’t mean that.” Elli said with a shake of her head.
“Try me, Elli, just fucking try me.” With that Harper left the room as a jagged sob left her body. Elli fell into the chair that was beside her and decided that her day wasn’t gonna get any better as the tears fell down her cheeks.
“Jesus, baby girl, every time I see you I wonder if it’s even you.” Bryan said as Elli entered his box, “You’re getting skinner by the day, I swear to it.”
“Is that complement?” Elli asked, wrapping her arms around her papa, kissing him on his cheek.
“No, baby girl, it’s not. You are scaring me.”
“I’m fine.” Elli said for the umpteenth time that day. She walked past him, going to the bar for a beer. Once she had one, she looked down at the ice, watching the guys warming up. Elli knew she could probably pick Shea out of a crowd of a million, and hated the way her eyes drifted right to him as he lined up his shot before shooting the puck in the net.
“Honey, aren’t you cold? I should go get you a new jersey.” Bryan said as he came to stand beside her, Elli shook her head. It would be a cold day in hell before she would ever wear another Assassins’ jersey with someone else’s name and number on the back.
“I don’t want another jersey.”
“I can have it say your name, darlin’.”
Elli looked up at him, “That’s not the reason I don’t want another jersey, I’m fine.”
“So you say; I know you’re not darlin’.”
“I am,” Elli emphasized. Bryan let out a frustrated breath as Elli continued to watch the guys.
“Who did you sell your seats to tonight?”
“I don’t know; someone on StubHub.”
Bryan nodded, “You know if you don’t want them anymore, I can give them to someone else.”
Elli shook her head, “I do want them, I just wanted to sit with you for a while.”
“Gracious me, you’re lyin’ your tail off,” Bryan said with a laugh, Elli looked up at him.
“I am not.”
“Well, I don’t want you to sit up here anymore, you depress me,” he gave her a cheeky grin as he grabbed a hot dog off the buffet.
“Fine, I’ll sit down in my seats next game.”
“Sure you will.”
“I will! And how am I depressing you!”
“You’re a walking zombie, darlin’, it’s sad how much your hurtin’ and won’t try to make it better or get the hell over him. Do you think he’s okay? Cause I sure don’t.”
“I ain’t no zombie, I’m fine!”
“So I’ve heard,” he said with a shake of his head.
“And why don’t you think he’s okay?”
“Because he isn’t! I saw him the other day and he’s a mess, he couldn’t even look me in the eye Elli; he probably thinks I think he is the sorriest piece of shit, especially after-” Bryan stopped, and Elli cut him a look.
“Especially after what?”
Bryan took a bit out of his hot dog, holding up a finger for Elli to wait. She knew he was buying himself some time, and it drove Elli crazy! He
took more time than needed to swallow before saying, “I’m sure he knows you told me what happened.”
“So? You do think that, don’t you?”
Bryan looked deep into Elli’s eyes, “Honey, if I believed he did what you said he did, do you really think he would still be on my team?”
Elli’s heart came up into her throat, “But I thought you kept him because I asked you not to trade him!”
“No, baby girl, I’m hoping; praying, really that you’ll come to your senses, but honey I don’t know how much time you have to do that.”
“What?”
“He hasn’t signed his contract, he’s a free agent, and I heard he has offers. He could leave at anytime.”
“Oh,” Elli said as her world crashed around her. Why it felt like her chest was seizing up, really didn’t make sense to her, shouldn’t she be happy he might be leaving? Maybe then she could get over him. “If he leaves, he leaves. I don’t care either way.” Elli made herself say as the arena went dark. With that the conversation was over, and Elli was glad.
Because if they kept talking, she was sure that her Papa would see right through her.
Which he probably already did.
Elli was finally hanging up all her clothes from the many bags that she had dragged in from her living the next afternoon when the text came.
Are you going?
It was from Harper.
Elli wiped her face, clearing the tears away. She had been hanging the clothes that she had bought when they were in Boston and each outfit that Shea had picked out brought a whole new round of tears.
She ignored the text, and continued to hang the clothes she would probably never wear in her closest as she listen to her ‘break up’ playlist she had made. It consisted of a bunch of disgusting, sad ass country music, that wasn’t helping Elli’s notion to move on at all. When her phone went off again, Elli rolled her eyes picking it up.
Come on Elli, please.
She continued to ignore the text. If Harper wanted to give up their friendship because Elli wasn’t over Shea yet, and didn’t plan on making amends with him, well forget her then. As she unzipped the dress bag that held three of the most gorgeous Gucci dresses money could buy, Elli’s stomach heaved. Shea had loved all of them, saying she should wear them when they went on their vacation that summer. She ran her hand through her hair, God she missed him and just the thought that he might be leaving hurt her even more than she expected. He had told her so long ago, that if they weren’t together then he would have no reason to stay in Nashville. Which he didn’t. Elli was nothing important; she hadn’t heard from him in weeks, not that she would have answered anyways, but still. He was probably over her, moved on.