by Dayna Quince
“I don’t know how to ask her,” he admitted.
“Just ask, son. Thea is a straight forward kind of girl. You won’t need to woo her—that is to say, make it romantic if you can, but she strikes me as one who favors honesty over pretty words.”
Jonathan agreed.
“Don’t come on too strong. You know how our women dislike being ordered about and talked down to.”
Our women. He meant mother, Lucy, and Thea.
His father was already counting on his success. Jonathan wasn’t as confident. “I should go back.”
“Not tonight. Sleep on it. In the morning, you can take the carriage and bring her home in comfort. Oh,” Lord Heath handed him a note, “Lucy and Winchester won’t be returning as soon as they hoped.”
“Delayed?”
“Distracted is more like it.”
Jonathan snorted and stood. “Tomorrow I will return to the cottage.”
“Do you want to tell your mother the happy news or shall I.”
“Wait until she’s actually agreed.” Jonathan stood, and his father came around the desk to clap him on the back.
“Congratulations.”
“It’s a little preemptive, don’t you think?”
“I have faith in you.”
Jonathan smiled and headed up to his room. In the morning, after breakfast, he’d set out to see if fate would smile upon him.
Chapter 14
Thea woke with a headache. Not the best way to start the day. Felton had been away most of the day, and when he’d returned, he’d been tense and non-communicative. She wanted to ask, but since their argument and her obvious blow to his pride, she didn’t. Whatever closeness they had found was gone. They felt like strangers again.
She took her breakfast in her room, and when it was time to go downstairs and find something to pass the time, she hesitated. She didn’t know what to say to him now. She gathered what courage she had left and went to the study to find a book to read. Winchester had many interesting books from his travels. She selected a novel and tiptoed her way to the parlor where she thought he would be waiting. She entered tentatively, but the room was empty.
Did he go riding? She relaxed. She was both relieved to be spared the inevitable awkwardness but also hurt. She’d looked forward to seeing him every day, spending most of her time with him, and now things were so different. She didn’t know if they could ever go back to the way things were.
She felt guilty now. She’d hurt him with her accusations. He’d been nothing but honest, and all the while, she’d kept things from him. The truth about her family, the friendship she’d had with Jonathan. He’d already admitted he was jealous when she spoke of him. Of course, he’d find his presence and behavior even more alarming. How could she have been so insensitive? She didn’t view Jonathan as a suitor because she didn’t want to. It was simple in her mind.
He was Jonathan, Lucy’s brother, and in a way, her brother. Her confidence in her body had been buoyed when he’d said her curves were dangerous. But that was all. He was certainly handsome, entertaining, kind, and destined to be someone’s husband. But not hers.
When Thea pictured herself being wed, the man who stood beside her now had a face.
She sat on the sofa and buried her face in her hands. This was dreadful. She was trapped in a mire of her own doing. She’d driven away the first man to bring her to life as a woman, the first and possibly only man she could see herself spending her life with. It’s only been two days without his constant company, and she was a mess.
Whatever she had to do, she would make it up to him.
The only question was how? Well, it was certain she wouldn’t get anywhere without physically being in his presence. She needed to find him. She set out to change into a riding costume and go looking for him.
An hour later, she returned more downtrodden than before. She looked in the village but hadn’t seen him. She scoured the surrounding land, and still nothing. She was cold, and worse, so was Esmerelda. She rode her into the stable and dismounted. Her attention caught by the carriage Jacobs was wiping down. She recognized the crest. Her heart plummeted. If the carriage was here, that meant she would be contending with Lord and Lady Heath. She hurried inside, but the only body in the parlor belonged to Jonathan. He turned as she entered.
“There you are.”
“What are you doing here? Where are Lord and Lady Heath?”
“Still at home, I’d presume.”
“You returned in the carriage?”
“A man can only do so much riding in this cold before his limbs fall off.”
Thea instantly thought of Felton. He was presumably out in this cold. Her fears were confirmed by Fenrir’s absence in the stables. The only positive was that the sky was oddly clear and the sun shined weakly, but the air was so cold, it hurt to breathe.
“What’s the matter?”
Thea looked up at Jonathan. He did look concerned. “Major Felton has been gone for some time. I’m worried he could be lost or injured.”
“Nonsense. I saw him coming through town.”
“You did?”
He nodded.
“I must have just missed him.”
“Indeed. Will you walk with me, Thea?”
“Walk? I think we’ve established its rather uncomfortable outside.”
“Yes, but what I have to say will need privacy, and unless we go upstairs, there isn’t any to be had in this house. Would you like to go upstairs?” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.
Thea ground her teeth. “No.” She did not like this new Jonathan. She preferred the very proper and boring relationship they had before where he complained about her intelligence, and she laughed at his improper behavior because it was never directed at her.
In the hall, she let him help her into her thick wool cloak, but she refused to take his arm. They walked side by side along a path into the orchard. The tension was thick. Thea wondered if they would ever be able to return to the friendship they’d had before. She lamented its loss. Her life had changed so much in such a short time, and she felt like she was running out of allies.
“Walking helps me think,” he said abruptly.
“Oh?” Thea pulled herself out of her thoughts. “I think it does the same for me.”
“So much has changed, hasn’t it? Everyone is married now. We’ve been left behind.”
She didn’t want to agree with him, but she felt the same. “I see what you mean. But I didn’t think you would want to get married any time soon.”
“You would have been right a scant few weeks ago.”
“You are not in any rush. You have the world at your feet. Perhaps you should do some traveling?” Thea kept her tone light and her eyes on the ground before her.
He chuckled. “I don’t think I could bear to be away. Who would keep you out of trouble?”
“When have I ever been a cause of trouble? You’re confusing me with Lucy.”
“That’s not possible.” He touched her arm, and they stopped walking.
Thea faced him.
“You’ve been causing quite a bit of trouble since Lucy retired her mantle of a troublemaker. You’ve taken it upon yourself.”
“I have not unless you mean the trouble caused by my family?”
“About that. I have news, and I’m afraid it isn’t pleasant.”
Thea steeled herself.
“Your cousin, Mr. Foster, presented himself at home, and he had a Bow Street Runner helping him find you.”
“A Bow Street Runner?” Thea felt the world shift beneath her feet. This was getting serious now. Her family was getting desperate. She didn’t understand why they wanted to find her so badly. She would have thought they would be glad to be rid of her. She refused to believe it was born of any sort of concern for her.
“Why would they do this?” she cried.
“There must be an inheritance involved.”
“I haven’t any. I would know it if I did, wouldn’t I?”
Jonathan shrugged. “When will you reach majority?”
Thea scowled at him. “It’s in two days.”
Jonathan grimaced. “My apologies. I’ve never been good with dates.”
Thea brightened. “Lucy said she would return by my birthday. She’ll know what to do about my family. Winchester can look into it for me.”
He shook his head. “My father received word that they would be delayed.”
“For how long?”
“It didn’t specify.”
Thea stomped away from him. “Bloody hell.”
She could hear him chuckling as he followed after. “I’m not in the mood for company at present,” she said between clenched teeth.
“I can see that, but it really is very important that we speak, Thea.”
“I…I can’t think right now. Between you and Felton and my family, it feels like I’m being punished.”
“Hold on.” He grabbed her arm and forced her to face him. “What do you mean?”
“What I mean is…” She didn’t know what she meant. Her thoughts were jumbled inside her. She was scared, she was worried, and she desperately wanted to see Felton. To touch him, to rest her cheek on his chest and feel the rumble of his voice under her ear as he told her it would be all right—because, with him, it always would be. No matter where life led her, with him, it would always be fine. Something swelled inside her, and tears pricked her eyes. She looked over Jonathan’s shoulder. The trees sparkled in the sunlight. It caught her breath. Drops of dew had frozen to the branches and shined like little gems. That was how she felt with Felton. Like she shined from the inside out. She loved him. She loved the way she felt with him, she loved the way he made her different, and yet truer to herself than she’d ever been.
She smiled, even as her tears slipped past her lashes.
Jonathan was frowning at her. “What is it, Thea?”
“I need him. I need Major Felton.”
“Why?”
“Because I do. I can’t explain it.”
“Please try, for my sake.”
Thea sighed. It was time to put this all to rest. As she stared back at Jonathan, trying to find the right words to say, she watched a cascade of emotions come across his face. He was angry and confused, she realized, but he tried to hide it behind a smile. Could Felton have been right? Did Jonathan truly care for her more than as a sister or friend? He was trying too hard to appear unaffected, but now that she was watching closely, she could see through the façade. She felt a pang of remorse, but in the end, there could be no other outcome.
“I’m sorry, Jonathan. I don’t return your affection, not the way I do for Major Felton.”
He tensed, and then he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “But has he asked you to marry him? All the time he had you to himself, did he make you any promises?”
She should have expected that. “No.”
“You can’t possibly be attracted to him. He has big ears. Think of the children, Thea? Whereas I have perfectly symmetrical ears. Stunningly handsome ears, one could say.”
“If you would please desist.” Thea sighed warily. “And your ears are only ordinary.”
He gasped. “You wound me.”
“If I’ve wounded your ego, then I’ve improved you.”
He took her hand. She should feel grateful. She should feel comforted by his touch. She knew him, more than she’d ever known any man until now. She didn’t move as he stepped before her.
“You are an intelligent woman. I don’t think I need to explain all the advantages you would have as my wife.”
“No, but that doesn’t mean....”
He placed a hand on her cheek. His eyes dropped to her mouth.
Her mouth went dry. “Jonathan…don’t.”
“Why? What is it about me that you don’t want?”
“Don’t say it like that. There is nothing wrong with you, I just don’t… You’re like a brother to me.”
His lips pinched together. “I don’t feel like a brother. I feel—I don’t know. Something has changed. You changed something in me.”
“I’m sorry then, but I don’t...”
“Try, Thea. Have you even tried to think of me any differently?”
No. She didn’t need to. She didn’t need to convince her heart what she wanted. She knew. She finally knew herself. “No.”
Abruptly, his mouth was against hers. Pushing and driving against her lips. He was trying to force his way in, force her to feel something she couldn’t. She pushed at his chest, but he didn’t pull away. She growled against his mouth. A warning.
He did not listen. His hands held her face, and he was holding her hostage. She did the only thing she could think of.
She opened her mouth.
In swooped his tongue and she bit down hard.
“Argh!” He ripped away from her. “Bloody hell, Thea!” he said angrily.
“It serves you right.”
“You bit me. You bloody bit me.”
“And if you were anyone else and not you standing before me, you’d be congratulating me for fending off a reprobate. How could you?”
He stood before her panting and looking very contrite.
“My aunts tried to force me. Did you know that? They locked me in a room with Richard to compromise me.”
“He attacked you?”
“No. He didn’t think it worth the effort. He drank himself stupid and fell asleep.”
“Thea…I’m sorry. I just…I thought I could make you feel something for me.”
“You have. Anger and disgust.” Thea turned and strode back toward the cottage. She didn’t look back. He knew better than to follow her, she was sure of it. She entered through the, thankfully, empty kitchen and stomped her way up the stairs. She was about to enter her room when Felton’s door opened.
“Thea?”
She froze. Painful embarrassment flooded her. She couldn’t even look at him. Tears rushed to her eyes again. She could still feel Jonathan’s tongue in her mouth, the sensation of biting down. Shame smothered her embarrassment. She didn’t want to know another man’s touch, only Felton’s, but now she did.
He was at her side now, waiting for a response. “Are you all right?”
She swallowed, praying her voice would sound calm and even. “Yes. Just tired.”
“You were outside?”
Thea slowly turned to face him. “I took a walk. I needed to think.”
“You’re upset,” he stated. He reached for her. Thea pulled away. “What is wrong?”
“Nothing.
“You’re a poor liar.”
“I…I had an argument with Jonathan. He’s returned.” She could see his features harden.
“Oh?”
She hated how stiff and cold he became whenever she mentioned Jonathan. It was like a chill wind between them. She wanted to hate him for it.
“It was nothing.”
“You’re shaking. Clearly, it wasn’t nothing. Did he do something?” He took her shoulders, “Did he try to force your hand.”
“No. Not—” Well, actually, yes. She looked up at Felton. His eyes blazed with anger. It frightened her.
“It wasn’t like that. He was only trying to convince me to consider his offer.”
“With seduction?”
The mere word caused a roll of nausea through her. “Please.”
“That bastard. He did, didn’t he? I’ll kill him.”
“Felton, no!” Thea grabbed hold of him to stop him from leaving. “I need you.”
“Tell me what he did to you.”
“He only kissed me. I bit him. The whole thing was an utter farce. Whatever he believes he feels for me is only in an effort to do what he thinks would be best for me.”
“He said he has feelings for you?”
“Yes, but I’m sure they are fleeting and driven by concern. They will fade in time, and he will thank me for refusing him.” She rested her head on his chest, thankful he didn’t pu
sh her away. His arms came around her. She closed her eyes, relishing the comfort of his warmth, of his soothing energy. Odd, since only a moment ago he looked eager to murder someone. But he always did that. He always made her feel better by simply… being.
“I’ll send Marigold to you. You are chilled.”
“What?” She was reluctant to part, but he was pushing her away gently.
“In you go.” He opened her door and shoved her inside. “A hot bath will be just the thing.” He closed the door in her face.
Thea stood there and frowned. She yanked open the door, flabbergasted to find he’d vanished from the hall.
Chapter 15
Felton rode Fenrir at break neck speed to the village. Jacobs had been outside the stable having a smoke. At Felton’s barked question, he’d squeaked that Lord Rigsby had taken his horse into the village only moments ago.
Felton would find him, and then he’d beat him into a pile of mush and bone. The ride into the village was a blur. He scoured the streets, busy with villagers finishing their business before evening set in. Felton reined in beside a boy who was sitting on a barrel beside the Inn, ignoring the screaming pain in his leg.
“Have you seen a gentleman pass this way?”
“Aye, Lord Rigsby?”
“Yes, Lord Rigsby.”
“He’s at the pub.”
“Thank you, lad.” Felton tossed him a coin and entered the yard for the Inn. A groom took hold of Fenrir’s reins as Felton dismounted. He stumbled and fell to one knee. With grim determination, he ignored the pain and stood, striding away down the street toward the pub.
Drawing near, he could hear the strains of a violin and rowdy laughter. Pulling the heavy wood door open, the smell of ale and roasting pork blanketed him. He stepped inside only to be halted by a line of bodies. It was standing room only. Most of the male population of the village must be fortifying their blood for the cold night ahead with ale. The que moved forward, and Felton finally had a glimpse of the room at large. Barrels and slats of wood made makeshift tables and stools to accommodate the surplus of patrons. A man played his violin by the roaring hearth.